Tag Archives: text game

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From student asking about text:

Text conversation

Hey CJ,
Here is the text conversation you asked me to type:
Me: So I was talking to my friend about going to aparty friday
I’ve known her for a while and I think she likes me a little bit
I went to meet her and her friends and when we got to the fratthey wouldn’t let guys in so they just bailed on me
I gave her a little attitude and she said to call her, which I dismissed
Today she texts me:”How are you”
What do you think I should do?
I feel like need to give her a little punishment to her know that this kind of behavior is not acceptable
So what do you think I should do about this girl?
She just texted me asking if I’m mad at her
CJ: Tell her: “What would you do that would make me mad at you?”
Me: She said: “IDK you weren’t responding”
So she’s trying to play coy
What’s next?
CJ: That’s exactly the kind of response I was guessing… like “What DID you do that would make me mad?” Has her thinkingof exactly what it is she did
Me: But what should my response be to her playing coy and saying she doesn’t know?
CJ: No rush, time is on your side
Me: So response for now, let her get back to me with an apology?
CJ:Although she is thinking it(obviously) than that is enough. She already saw that you hold off from getting right back at to her and is trying the two together. Now you can play totally cool and unaffected
You can even play it up a bit: “I’m sure if you had done something, you would make it up to me”
( You don’t need an apology. She might still hold off from admitting outloud she had done something wrong. Even when it happened, if you had played it off like you didn’t care either way she probably wouldn’t have done it. Girls are like that, seeing you cared inspires girls to do wacky things)
Me: Should I text it now or give it like an hour or two
CJ: By not directly saying you were bothered at all shows what she has no effect on you. You have fun wherever you go and she can come along or miss it. Even if she bring up that night, I would talk about something super phenomenal and way more fun than the party she missed cause she went. Give it some time, claim you’ve just been busy.. and gently see how she makes it up to you. You are slightlymore in the zone of her chasing you. Earning your validation, don’t play it too much or she’ll stop trying. You’re just busy and couldn’t get right back to her the second she texted you.

Maintaining her chasing through texting

(www.getherchasingyou.com) Maintaining her chasing through texting

For a good example of how well girls respond to playful anything and how the like a masculine dominance express so they feel better about their feminine humility/submissiveness to come forth, there was a recent message banter I thought I could share.

She has actively contacted me every so often. We have hung out but a few times more recently she had to cancel tentative plans because of complications in her life. So a few days ago I get this message:

HBNurse: Hey sweetie whats up with ya ya ya? Do u miss me or do u hate me now? Xo

(I am guessing she is referring to her last need to cancel our tentative plans.)

Me: You are in a neutral limbo status with potential available to you that could put you on the good side in a moment’s notice…that is if you take the right steps.

(Subtextually, I am letting her know that I haven’t totally written her off, but if she wants ot be in good favor with me, there are steps she will need to take. This is another level of that sweet spot to indicate to girls. They do not have total..[/private] …approval yet they are not rejected/dismissed. There is a clear enough indication that her actions in the right way can lead to the rewards she wants. Not too easily obtained, but the potential is within her reach.)

HBNurse: K. I would like right steps obi wan. School ur young jedi…..

(This is great. She is the one to turn it into a game, so to speak. She is following my lead to what I indicated, but giving us the fictional roles of characters in Star Wars. I hear which way she is following my lead and I go with that as well, rewarding her choices that are in the direction I want along the way. Like in child psychology, reward the good behavior you want more of & ignore the negative behaviors to make them go away. Girls work the same way. Good result or bad result they are driven to do those things that get the most attention. )

Me: Ok, Miss Young Skywalker…first step is for you to alert me when you are in my area and have a block of time to do what you want with.

(Here, I am rewarding her following my lead and I will play along with the roles she found. The roles actually will let me be more direct as the game goes along since it is joking, with the real meaning heard underneath. She hits me up every so often with texting banter, but here I am telling her to let me know when she wants to get together & is ready to take more of my direction. I already won’t make plans with her unless I am absolutely certain she will follow through, so when she does what I asked, this is the first step in her making a commitment she will follow through with. )

HBNurse: Yes master…. Then?

(I know she wants to text banter on a sexual level at this point. I will do nothing but vague hints to let her imagination do most of the work. Just like there are ways to build tension and create open loops in texts, tension can be released for her in texts. I see her curiosity and decide to keep it at that at this point. With this game on the table now, later I can simply recall that curiosity in her at a later point with it.)

Me: You will be given the next directions when you have successfully completed the first step…and second step isn’t guaranteed unless it is clear you are ready for more…who knows, you may get second step first time you complete the first one or maybe you won’t get it until the tenth time you have completed the first step…it all depends on the moment & your readyness for more in that moment.

(Here I am telling her that her curiosity will not be satisfied until she completes the first direction I gave her. I won’t even tell her the next steps. Some girls can get release of that tension through sexy talk through even texts. Every girl is different but I like to continuously be building tension, holding off from that release until it can be done physically.)

HBNurse: Yes master… I understand! What will u have me do…

(She heard what I said, but is trying again to get me to give her some sexier talk within the texts. I will vaguely hint at more when I see that my building of more tension will have her wanting that release AND is able/ready to meetup for that release to happen physically. Not only do I repeat what she needs to do to get what she wants… )

Me: Good girl, but listen: <> …it may be different depending on the moment you complete that….depending on the current moment & how ready for more you express you are.

(…I get a little more specific so she knows what factors will increase the likelihood of her getting what she wants.)

HBNurse: Yes master soon ill b ready to complete my training….

(Here she is telling me she heard what I said & is clear. Previously I told her to withhold contacting me until she had a block of time with no constraint but it still is no guarantee.)

Me: Ok, Leave me be until you feel you are ready.

(I know I can call back the theme of this banter at any time later to remind her or re-spark her curiosity…but for now, I will take away this banter until she tells me she has time, or I pick it up to re-spark those things.)

What girls want least is those things they can have too easily. They want those things more that are hard to get. What they want most are those things that are just a hairsbreadth out of their reach, what they can almost have if they figure out the best steps to take. Giving them indication of what those steps might be is a good feeler to see their readiness. As soon as they start to try (getting the chasing going) they will get small rewards with indications of how they can modify their steps to get bigger rewards.

I stay vague about the exact reward possible, just vague hints but am clearer about the steps they need to take…[/private] …to even find out what those rewards might be. I let their imagination do most of the work. It comes up with things closer to what they want, and their never quite sure if they are right anyways.

That uncertainty creates desire in them just to find out what those rewards might be and to know a clearer picture of what they need to do to get them…. is a larger factor in creating desire than anything explicit described anyways.

From a lawyer to a stripper in one night

“You won’t believe what I have in store for you!” I told her.

So once again I see the reason it’s great to maintain some contact with a girl I’ve met that I liked but didn’t go [private]very far at first. It was approx 2 years ago or so I went to a Halloween party with a chick friend of mine who also did improv at the Improv Asylum when I did.

At the party, I was introduced to a bunch of cool new people and even traded numbers with some to stay connected. I was dressed as a woman that year, so the chicks seemed to love teasing me in ways that guys tease chicks or objectify them in a playful way.

There was even more than one occasion through the night where I found it necessary to say “Hey! I am more than just a piece of meat for you to enjoy. I have deep feelings and you have to respect me for those.” Totally joking in the moment, of course, and some chicks would take it even further, continuing the thread in a way I liked. When girls grabbed my stuffed boobs I would grab their real ones in response. They just laughed.

They would have playful comments to say I was just a piece of meat or their toy for the night (which I didn’t mind at all). One girl, let’s say Anna, was acting pretty frisky and even was trying to exert some playful dominance on me. To re-remind her of the man inside the costume, I simply picked her up, her back over one of my arms, her legs draped across the other, the way a parent would carry an infant or a groom would carry his bride across the threshold of the motel room. Somebody snapped a photo of this.

Days later, several of us found & friended each other on facebook and she saw this photo so she tagged herself. We commented here & there on each other posts every once in a while, nothing too constant just little hellos.

It wasn’t until a week or two ago I posted a comment “My dance moves are ok, but show me a stripper pole & I really come alive.”

It was my joke. People could take it how they wanted but I wrote it as two unrelated concepts. I could dance ok, but if I was watching a stripper pole with a stripper on it, I would come ‘alive’, so to speak.

She simply commented “Dude, me too!” to which I went to her FB page and wrote: “I hear a dance-off starting to form. You have no idea what sort of competition you’re up against.”

She commented to my post, saying: “Stiff, no doubt.”

Thank you very much Ms. Anna,
for starting the sexual undertoned comments. This is my favorite place to be, inspiring these type of comments in girls with my subtlety, then continuing the ping-pong effect.

Soon after, I then had a post on my own page from a magazine article I recently read that said that Boston had the 3rd highest IQ average in the nation. She went & asked what the first two were. They were Raleigh NC and something else, but I saw her question as a set up for a cocky joke on my part.

“What were the first two?” She asked.

“Brighton and Brighton again, both first and second place.” I replied, since Brighton is my neighborhood I wanted to subtly indicate in a joke that I was responsible for the high IQ here.

She went on to agree, then said “Coincidence? I think not…I mean assuming Allston is part of Brighton…”

With: “Coincidence? I think not…” I could see she got my joke. Once she said: “assuming Allston is a part of Brighton…” I saw that she got my joke, and if she was living in Allston, then she was installing herself into the joke, playing along at my level. I read enough interest in this to take it to the next tiny step up. I sent her a private message.

“I had no idea that we’re practically neighbors. If you weren’t such a mischief maker, I’d think we should do coffee or split appetizers & catch up n’stuff…”

In this, I acknowledged her ‘ping’ of letting me know she lived near me with my ‘pong’ of the “neighbors” in the message to let her know I got the idea. I then was suggesting we should hang out soon with a disqualifier of: “If you weren’t such a mischief maker…”

I already could read into our ping-pong comments that she wanted to hang out. By expressing a small reason why we should not, she instantly tries to overcome it. This generates a tiny bit more attraction with a sleight indication (‘we want more what we cannot have’) and is a good place to begin the momentum of a girl in pursuit of a guy, not the other way around.

So the next ‘ping’ reply she gave me was: “Precisely why we should. Mischief loves company. Or something like that…” Which is great. Rather than me asking her if she wants to hang out, I tell her a tiny silly reason why we should not, and she is the first one to actually say that we should hang out. She could guess that mischief was something I like in a girl, so she is guessing at a way to qualify herself to me, and agreeing with the sexual undertones it carries.

Now that she is the one suggesting we hang out, I can play some more with her. I tell her this: “Ok. Maybe that makes sense if we warn the other neighbors first, just in case. Do you text?”

I still indicate the “Maybe” letting her know she hasn’t won my total approval of the idea yet, keeping her working. “Warning the neighbors” was to continue the mischief theme but in the subtext. I saw I had her number from a time back that I never followed up on, I I wanted to keep her invested in this thread’s momentum so I just asked if she texts.

“Of course. Doesn’t everyone? I have no use for the phone other than texting & email & cool games & stuff.” And signed with a nickname I didn’t previously know of hers and her number. By telling me the nickname, she indicated to me a bit more rapport, so from that time on, I called her that to continue it.

I then shot her a text with my phone. “Although I don’t know what I’m getting into with you. Here is my #. ~C.J.”

Then began the texting banter. She must have been in rhyming mood, because she mentioned something about our names rhyming. That rhyme made me think of an improv game I working to be played at the improv group I regularly am a part of. I told her of it, that is was a scene with a bartender whose customer had a problem that he came in and sang about. The bartender would sing his advice, and they both had to rhyme with each other. So I told her to come to improv.

Then she asks me if they serve drinks at the venue the improv is at. I tell her they don’t but we usually go to Unos for drinks and snacks.

She shows up and participates in the improv some, which is good since I bet she thought it was just a show. When it came time to go to Unos she came right along.

At Unos, I directed her to the corner seat in the booth, then I sat next to her (not across table from her) so I could be in close touching distance. When we were talking it was easy to put my hand on her leg for a moment when I was making a point, or to be touching her regularly throughout the conversation.  It was easy to be bouncing from conversation with her, which I kept at a closer face to face distance, to the conversations going around the table with my other friends. Since I saw her look to my lips a few times when we were talking so close, I just leaned in & kissed her to which she kissed back and giggled a little.

We traded stories, I told her of my lifecoaching/dreamcatching gig and she tells me that she had an unfulfilled dream.

“What is it?” I ask

“I want to strip.”

I had to tell her my joke that is true: “When I was a kid, my dad was a firefighter so I always wanted a firefighter pole in may house. Since I have grown up, I settled for a stripper pole to be at my house.


After that the easy kisses just came every so often,
so I asked her if she drove that night. She told me that she does drive, but took the T since to avoid the parking. I then told her I would have hit her up for a lift home if she had her car. She started telling me of taking the T back together since both of our areas are on the same color line. Then she cut herself off and suggested we split a cab since we live relatively close with each other. I agreed and conversations of other topics came in and out.

When I stepped out to smoke a butt, an adjustment to the dynamic came to me. Different friends that were there had given me a ride home before. When I got back inside I said to Anna “Sometimes my friend gives me a lift back to my place, I wonder if it would be cheaper for you to take a cab back from my place.”

Her first reply was “Couldn’t he just give me a ride back to my place too?”

I had already though of the possibility of her thinking this so I told her. “It is much easier for me to ask for a ride for you & me back to my place than also be asking for a ride for you, a person they just met first time tonight to a whole other place…taking more time.” It was unspoken, but there is a sleight indication that by asking for this extra favor might have less of a change of being favorably granted.

Girls are great at thinking of all the possibilities in a social situation. If she was to put all the possibilities on the table then it would compare. She may like me to be splitting a cab with her, spending a little more time together. I thought of that, but it wouldn’t be as smooth to get her back to my place in those circumstances. If she denied the suggestion, I may just tell her to take the T back and I will get a ride from my friend. Of course I don’t know for sure, but I bet she considered that last possibility. She agreed that a cab back from my place would make the most sense.

Most of the ride, while she was in the back I spent most of the time during the ride, talking to my friend, making small points to her. So during the ride back, as we passed a road that a turn would lead to her place, she mentioned it this way: “Left” quietly in a playful tone. Although I didn’t know exactly where she lived, I guessed what she was getting at.

“No problem, you can take a cab back from my place.” Thankfully, my buddy didn’t interject by saying he could take her to her house. He might have not even known what she was talking about when she said “Left,” since he does know how to get to my place and thought that’s where we were going.

She said nothing else, so the conversation continued and we arrived at my apartment. I was sort of offering that my buddy comes in too, but thankfully he beat me to the punch. He said he had to run, that he had an early morning tomorrow.

So Anna and I went up to my apartment.
She came in very confidently, opposed to how I do notice when girls are sometime a bit hesitant for a few when they are in a guys place their first time. They come in for the tour, settle to the environment as I offer them a drink and get them settled in a comfortable area.

She went on to be playing with my cat. I told her that I thought it was awesome that she got along so well with the cat and the cat liked her. She seemed to spend an extra minute or two playing with the cat after I said that.

She previously told me she had an unfulfilled dream of stripping some day. She had a very tight body, exercised regularly and I could see she had a palm sized ass, still beautiful hip curves. Of course I had to show her the stripper pole I have installed at my place. It has always gotten a playful reception form girls who come over for dinner parties and for other reasons.

She loved it. She started showing off her moves to which I sat back and enjoyed the show. After a few minutes, when she had done a good multi-move sexy routine, she was closer to where I was sitting with her ass in my direction. I simply put a hand on each side of her hips, pulled her down to be sitting next to me, and let the makeout begin.

Things escalated for a while, she kissed her way down my stomach to give me some head, which was actually very good. Since I did want to fuck her, I stopped her at doing this, guided her to be on her back and did some ravishing all over her body to get her more aroused.

I ran my hands and kissed, all over her body. As I was kissing her belly, my hands were up on her boobs. With a quick maneuver with my hand, I unhooked her bra (I would recommend practice on these to be very smooth). I did this while kissing, usually when done quickly and smoothly, girls hardly notice it is coming off (which they like things to be that smooth) until they feel their nipples are being played with.

We play-wrestled around on the futon, making out & playing different ways. Then in a smooth, unbutton and slide down, her pants came off. While kissing her below, she had moans of pleasure but still was gently and playfully resisting and laughing.

She was enjoying what she was feeling, yet didn’t want to surrender to me yet I could tell. I could feel that in her, and wasn’t bothered so I kept repositioning us in different ways through our wrestling, both of us laughing.

Probably to avoid the slut-label girls often think they need to avoid during a first night encounter like this. She pulled her pants back up. Once I first detected this, I took the control. Taking the waistband of her pants, I pulled them all the way up, rezipped and rebuttoned them while saying “Whoa missy, as  much as I am attracted to you, we are going way too fast.”

By seizing her hesitation to be my hesitation, I now had more of the control of it. When I resparked sexy-time further, it is more as if her sexy moves had me to reconsider my choice of slowing things down, in a subtle way. Even when she was on top of me and things got hotter and heavier in both of us, she went to stand up for a moment. That is fine, she can let those feelings of me touching her to soak in & her feeling her arousal without me touching her for a moment, building desire in her.

Rather than try to keep things in a state of continuation, I laid my head back and mostly closed my eyes. I was just enjoying her for the moment, we were making out and escalating so now that it paused, I just sat back and enjoyed what was previously going on. Instead of glaring at her in anticipation for more escalation, I was just comfortable. Sure I had my eyes closed but one squinted every so often so I could see what she was doing. That way she didn’t feel like she had my full attention, eagerly awaiting her next move. If things were to end for the night at that point, I was fine. I could see her watching me expectantly, then she picked up a huge carnival stuffed dog of the floor & in a silly way she first pressed it to my chest where I was reclined a bit.

As I opened my eyes and looked at her she let herself down to be on top of me with the stuffed dog between us. (Weird barrier) Then the kissing began again with me pulling out the stuffed animal and we play-wrestled again, letting things escalate further. Then I was the one stopping things, mentioning that I had to get up early tomorrow so we should call her a cab.

She agreed, so I looked up cab companies online & selected one to call. Since she was sitting next to me, while I was waiting for someone to answer, I put my hand on Anna’s back and guided her down to be giving me head again. I heard the taxi guy answer but was a little distracted so I disconnected. She was pretty passionate and enthusiastically going down on me, it was late so I let her finish me to orgasm. I kissed her & told her she did awesome. She told me she had to work the next morning so I picked up the phone to call the cab again, this time giving the guy the addresses.[/private]


~ CJ “Let d’Adventure Continue” Piona ©2010