Tag Archives: sex
What You Need To Know
Consider foreplay a 24-hour experience that happens in and out of the bedroom.
Play to your strengths by being confident in your abilities.
Think in terms of stimulating her vulva rather than just penetrating the vagina.
1- Think like a “knob,” you turn up and down not a “switch.”
When comparing male and female sexuality, there’s no shortage of adages: “Men are like light switches — just flip them on, and they’re ready to go. Women are like knobs — you can turn them up and down.” Or as Dr. Emily Nagoski writes in the Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms, “Men are like driving standard transmission — if you move through the gears in the right order, you will get where you want to go. Women are like baking a soufflé — the outcome depends on the ingredients and the chef, sure, but it also depends on the reliability of the oven, the altitude, the humidity of the day… more variables, more variability.” In short, think of foreplay as a 24-hour experience that happens both in and out of the bedroom. Sex is all about context. And while it may take very little to rev your engine, remember that she probably needs to simmer.
2- When you’re getting it on, make sure she’s completely relaxed and comfortable.
Researchers in the Netherlands have found that the key to getting a woman turned on and to the heights of orgasmic bliss is a deep sense of relaxation and a lack of anxiety. Brain scans showed that the parts of women’s brains responsible for processing fear, anxiety and emotion slowed down the more aroused they became, producing a trancelike state at orgasm. Men showed far less change in these regions. “What this means is that deactivation, letting go of all fear and anxiety, might be the most important thing, even necessary, to have an orgasm,” says the study’s lead researcher, Dr. Gert Holstege.
3- Take the time to figure out what works.
Every woman is different, and most women don’t even orgasm the first couple of times they’re with a guy. A woman has to feel comfortable, and a guy has to figure out what makes her tick sexually. Some women love wet, sloppy kisses; other women find saliva a total turnoff. Some women love lots of breast stimulation; other women can’t stand it at all. Some women love to be on top in bed; others love missionary style. Some women respond to intense clitoral stimulation; others require very little. Some women have an innate capacity to experience multiple orgasms; others are more like guys — they roll over, and they’re ready to go to sleep. Figure out a sex script that works, and stick to it. Sure, familiarity can breed boredom, but it can also yield consistent orgasms.
4- Once you know what works, wrap it in something fresh: fantasy.
A healthy fantasy life is one of the keys to a great sex life — even when your partner might not always play the leading role. Most people find that they are most sexually satisfied when they are intimate with one person with whom they feel completely comfortable. Along with this intimacy comes the freedom to let go and explore, including fantasizing about other people, places and situations. One study on sexual fantasy by noted expert Dr. Harold Leitenberg found that sexual fantasies occur most often in people with the highest sexual satisfaction and the healthiest sex lives. If you need some ideas, check out our Good in Bed Guide to 52 Weeks of Amazing Sex, in which we offer a different sexy scenario for every week of the year.
5- Play to your strengths.
Very few guys make love like porn stars, nor should we. We live in the real world, and we all have sexual strengths and weaknesses. For example, I suffered from premature ejaculation for years and compensated with oral sex. Some men suffer from erectile disorder on a regular basis, and some guys have a smaller-than-average penis. Develop “sex scripts” — paths to pleasure — that play to your strengths. And be willing to communicate. As Dr. Madeleine Castellanos writes in her guide to Male Sexual Issues, “Wouldn’t it be great if penises could talk — honestly and clearly — about their feelings, especially when it comes to issues in the bedroom?” Most women don’t know how to “speak penis,” so give them a clue.
6- Get cliterate.
When embarking on a journey of female sexual response, know your way around her vulva — from the northern tippy-top of the clitoral glans (the “love-button,” so to speak), to the western and eastern boundaries of the labia minora (her inner lips), to the southernmost regions of the perineum (the smooth expanse of skin just below the vaginal entrance) and anus. Stop thinking of the clitoris as a little bump, and start thinking of it as a complex network, a pleasure dome, the Xanadu at the heart of female sexuality. The clitoris has more than 8,000 nerve fibers — more than any other part of the human body — and interacts with another 15,000 nerve fibers that service the entire pelvic area. “Nerves are like wolves or birds: If one starts crying, there goes the neighborhood,” writes Natalie Angier of the clitoral network. Think in terms of stimulating her vulva rather than just penetrating her vagina.
7- The tongue is mightier than the sword.
When it comes to pleasuring women and conversing in the language of love, cunnilingus should be every man’s native tongue. Even porn star Ron Jeremy, in possession of the famous 10-inch member, observed, “More women have gotten off with my tongue than with my penis.” Once found, a skilled cunnilinguist rarely goes unappreciated. Not sure exactly how? Just press a flat, still tongue against her vulva, and let her do the work. It’s the cunnilingus equivalent of letting her get on top.Unfortunately many men do not learn the true principles of cunnilingus or how to pleasure a woman at the outset, and so, even with the best intentions, their form is without substance. If we were to compare cunnilingus to another art — the martial arts — it would be Tai Chi. Unlike Kung Fu, Tai Chi is slow, focused and graceful, with an emphasis on the balance of yin/yang (male/female energy) to create a harmony of movement and strength. Artful cunnilingus involves many of the same principles as Tai Chi: stillness within movement, balance and pressure, resistance, and key postures. In the Good in Bed Guide to Orally Pleasuring a Woman, we outline our approach to sexual Tai Chi, also called the Mount Method.
8- Show some sexual courtesy, as in “she comes first.”
Unlike men, women don’t reach a point of “orgasmic inevitability” — the moment when, even without further physical stimulation, a guy ventures past the point of no return. In fact, men and women are so different in this respect that many women claim to “lose” an orgasm just as they’re on the verge of having one, which can be particularly frustrating, especially if it occurs regularly. Guys need to pay attention to the journey through female arousal, particularly those final moments of potential orgasmic ecstasy. Recognize the visible signs of female arousal, mainly the muscular tension that develops throughout her body and that wi
Blina Ventosposted toCj Clark Piona
17 minutes ago
siege man reply my question on your page!! I checked deangelo’s sex secrets it helped me a lot but not on the question I asked =]
You like this.
Cj Clark Piona You got it brother, I am looking for my most detailed writings to share with you right here since you are not afraid to ask on my walls, in my groups, sites, I will post all paid content from my E-book material ABSOLUTELY FREE as my way of saying thanks, since the answers, Open Q&A help guys without the resourse to come to my Boston, National International events and may not yet have
13 minutes ago · Unlike · 1
Cj Clark Piona …and may not yet have built up the confidence to admit they need to know..or built up the confidence to ask anybody yet.
12 minutes ago · Unlike · 1
Cj Clark Piona AND ALWAYS FEEL FREE TO ASK, since the reason why 90+% of my time is doing these same things FOR FREE is because I lov e it so much and love love so much…and I think it the most inner fulfillment we habve here in life possible….WAY MORE than a million material luxuries so many people chase to try and have too many of….This love stuff really fills an inner
10 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona …fills an inner place that better than all the drugs, thrill rides, a complete peace in happiness that I do find to be the ultimate secret to happiness, Love, inner love, intimate love, self love with who you love, and sex, as I see it IS the ultimate expression of loving those moments…al of that time together in it’s most intimate way
8 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona attitude like jersey Shore promotes..I fall in lve and love forever, still wholeheartedly in love with the girl I lost my virginity to…and a myriad of beautiful women I have met since..I fall in love, with girls even with no sex, to enjoy those completely moments…where as it led me to finally love myself for real, the hardest love of them all. Thank you very much Blina, feel free to send anyone you like my way, I \
5 minutes ago · Like · 1
Blina Ventos Am also saying thanks for helping me as a brother am glad, am still young but HB’S here keep wondering how I sarge them and am just 20 =]
5 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona I will be more than happy to help and when they tell me Blina sent them, they get the same treatment as a fine getnleman such as yourself does, Thank you
4 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona Keep at it brother. I was courting girls twice my age when I was 20, loving them, and they too taught me so much about the world and about love…and they are women who already had their experience with guyus to know how to choose them, I was humbly honored to be in their hearts, and for them to be in mine
3 minutes ago · Like
Blina Ventos I like the part where you fall in love with girls even without having sex with them..I appreciate your support and I believe you gonna support me to become a pua
2 minutes ago · Like
day game is all I need Cj inbox me =]
Unlike · · Unfollow Post · March 5 at 3:26am via mobile
You like this.
Cj Clark Piona Post ur questions here & I will reply here
March 16 at 9:10pm · Unlike · 1
Blina Ventos well I’m successful as I learnt a lot from different pua’s the thing is I want to be the first Master Pick-Up Artist in Kenya, A Dating coach..I’m gonna post my video soon on you tube I’ll let you know.thanks coach =]
49 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 1
Blina Ventos how are you gonna help me on this!?and I sarged a chick,number closed and we getting along well she told me she had sex only once we were at my place romancing and all that but when I reached down there her clit is tight man I think am gonna hurt her help c.j =]
4 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 1
Cj Clark Piona On that, go slow, and …keep teasing….keep holding off until she she is pulling you inside of her…keep teasing then too…only insert 1/2 then pul out…she will be getting so hott and be aching to have you inside oif her…let me see if I can sift through my writings to give you detailed instructions I wrote on this
about a minute ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona www.getherchasingyou.com had over a thousand posts, so look through the tags and categories for related, sex, sexy, sexual, teasing, orgasm,
It is VERY easy to live excellent
C.J. “The Siege” – Boston Dating Coach
a few seconds ago · Like
Awesome! Just last night I was headed back to Brighton with a chick & we were waiting at last T-stop for last bus of the night.
We had been making out every so often at prior stations & on the train & this last bus was taking forever to get there. She re-referenced the ‘anticipation’ that I mentioned earlier to her in an underlying message related to sex but this[private] bus was taking an awfully long time
We we standing at ground level. While she was leaning back on me, subtly grinding my cock through my jeans with her ass, I noticed an elevator that goes down to the underground station.
I playfully remarked “I wonder where that goes.” as I pointed it out to her.
Once she played along and mentioned she had no idea, I could tell she knew what I meant & why I was indicating the elevator right now. I told her we should go check it out. She picked up her bag & followed me over.
We went into the elevator, took it down to the subway platform & saw that since it had glass doors, it was not inconspicuous enough to the walkways underground.
We pushed the button back to street level & I noticed that in one corner of the elevator had no visibility even with the glass door. So I pushed her in the corner of the elevator & we made out there while I could lean back every so often to see if the bus had arrived yet.
At one point during making out she pulled her boob out of the top of her shirt and I went to suck on her nipple. After a few minutes, I unbuttoned my pants, pulled my cock out & pushed on her shoulder, motioning her down.
At first she said she couldn’t do that, we’d get busted. Once I assured her that we couldn’t be seen in the corner we were in, she slid down and gave me head in the elevator.
With her still at this position, I could still lean back, see through a tiny pass through the glass and watch for the bus.
Just when I pulled her up, spun her around so her ass was turned towards me & and started to pull down her pants, I was going to fuck her standing up from the rear. She then got wicked embarrassed and said she couldn’t do that.
No problem, the bus just rolled up so we could finish our journey to my place. Later that night, when we were talking about the elevator during escalation & sex at my place, she mentioned she was about one minute from going ahead with it in the elevator. Love to capture those moments as they become available! [/private]
[private][private]Uoffhanded affection can come from picking the lint from her clothes, taking the eyelash from her cheek, taking the lint from her chin.
Make no big deal out of this, get it done & keep moving along, keep talking like it’s nothing.[/private]
From a ‘tips for girls’ passage. Stuff to be on the lookout for:
Rubbing finger on lips, sucking finger, anytime you lift something to your mouth, it could be sexual, licking spoon,
Nice & slow – keep tongue out ½ second longer, capsicum, does stimulate blood flow in lips…[/private]
..but I think it works both ways.
Foreplay starts way before even intimate caresses, but take your time and enjoy the wave. Although you may be thinking the main event is the prize to chase, you can have incredibly long lasting waves of pleasure throughout the process. This ensures that both you and she are mentally, emotionally, and physically ready for some good [private] lovemaking all on the same page of a moment.
Don’t make sexy-time an ‘all-of-a-sudden’ event. Start with sexy offhanded comments and affection, and then bring it up tiny notches as time goes by. Be easy to stop at various times too, you can always bring it back to level later, this will build the tease which she will love.
Good foreplay starts hours or even days in advance. This will create a sexual tension so high, when you finally have your time together, she will finally come to orgasm so much easier.
Once a much closer intimacy has been reached, oral sex is a great way to bring a girl to her orgasm. In fact, many women claim that this is the only way they can reach an orgasm.
When you go down on her, don’t be in a rush. Kiss your way down her belly, as you get closer slow it down a bit. Enjoy her inner thighs and the low area on her belly. Kiss and lick the outer edges of her lower lips. Inhale her scent, it can be like a drug to you and she will feel the air rushing by her hot places.
Enjoy the journey as much as the destination. As such, go slow at first. Lick gently and tenderly for a while, you will notice her arousal increasing. She will be getting much wetter and you will see the petals of her vagina start to unfold. These will come out to you, all filled with blood and very red. Just when you see and know she is really turned on and aching for you to go further, then move in to her sweet spot, her clitoris. This is saturated with pleasurable nerve endings, and this too needs much pre-game before the best stimulus can happen.
Start by drawing small circles around it. Then try some figure 8 patterns with your tongue. Then take some advice from a past comic and use the tip of your tongue to trace the pattern of every letter in the alphabet. Even between letters it is good to give her clitoris a break and kiss her inner thighs again. This time lets the sensations you have just brought her to soak in and for your teasing away to have her want you there more.
In addition to your fancy tongue and lip action, start using your fingers. You can use your fingers to give her some feelings of entry. You can enter with your fingers in a ‘come here’ curve to make circles around her G-spot. This is located on the vaginal wall on the forward side, towards her belly.
Now you can alternate between kissing and teasing with your tongue and using your fingers so that with resting, this can go on longer. Hear her groans during different types of touches you are doing to her. Her verbal expressions of pleasure will be telling you which ways feel best to her.
While you are kissing and teasing with your kisses, you can also use your other hand to spread her lips apart so that you have full access to her clitoris. Also a hand applying some pressure to her lower back, just above her ass, that place is full of the nerve endings that good pressure will activate more wetness of her and sensitize her vagina.
Remember those free hands to stimulate her other zones. A hand on her nipple and another in her mouth can give her feelings, of waves of pleasure coming from all different directions through her body.
Don’t forget to stay attuned to her moaning and breathing changes, Continue the actions that brought those differences on. Also remember the actions in your mind that caused those changes. With those in mind you can stop what you are doing, let her settle some and then tease her more. This way she escalates in arousal, then with you coming right back to it, she will go higher. This will lead to a much larger orgasm for her.
All material is copyright of C.J. Piona©2010 (unless otherwise specified) and may not be used without express permission
Another great thing to make sure you keep in mind is that there is never a need to avoid potential conflicts. Being a highly confident and strong man, knows that the best ideas are often presented with counterpoints. This is fine. If it was a boring topic or issue, no one would spend the time trying to oppose it.
Remember that it is okay to have some conflict. Even powerful emotion will raise attraction so her quick spurt of an angry face is not a thing to take seriously. You have just met this girl she is still treating you as a non-person to her world, also seeing how you react under different situations.
If she does give you a quick angry anything in the first few minutes you have met her, take it as a joke. Make a joke of it. You can call her cute for getting all huffy about a silly joke you made. Reach across and sideways hug her as if you are consoling her little tantrum.
If you think about it on the same level, since you just met this girl, you have no reason to care what she thinks yet. She is still a new person to your world and you have not learned enough about her to see if you want her to a friend of yours, If her energy compliments yours.
When meeting new people, there is no reason to really care what they think about me or what I have to offer. They detect this lack of care, this supreme confidence which is really attractive in itself. Since they are not top priority and there is not any reason to worry. Stay focused on the feel good topics you know, those that make you feel good and seem to be contagious to those around you.
Never worry if she sees something in you that might push her away. It always good for you to have the ‘warts & all’ perspective about what you project. If you do welcome her into your world for a longer period of time, she will see those anyways. It shows a higher confidence when a person see’s no big deal in their own faults.
Escalating can start from the moment you say hi
Right when a[private] conversation starts you can be touching. When a point is made you can touch her on the arm. Throughout the conversation you touch offhandedly and touch her briefly every so often.
The sooner this random touching starts to happen, it cause the girl to like you more and feel they are liked by you, and vice versa. Once this small bridge is crossed, then escalating the touched from there is much easier. Each small step up the ladder goes along just feeling very natural.
When I first read this, I had ideas but no time to type so I pasted it in a draft and came back to elaborate what I was first thinking:
There was one guy asking about the proper timing to start the touching. he felt hesitant as to when the best time would be.
Escalating Kino. I don’t know when to turn it up.
A great place to start is when they are laughing. Girls laughing is a high point in them from you, an aphrodisiac and a great place to start and/or increase your touching of her. Girls will even laugh at comments made that aren’t funny, just to release some of the nervous tension they feel with a new guy they like.
Once they are laughing, touching their arm, telling them they are too cute (you are basically noticing how cute they are when they are laughing and smiling) while they are laughing will reward this for them in a way. By doing that, you will see more attraction raising and then their laughing comes more frequently building a momentum that is working in your favor.
If one practices keeping touches regular in the conversations, each step higher is small and next natural escalation. If it starts with a touch on the arm, next can be a sideways hug or playful hand holding for a brief moment or just swishing a hand across her back a few times.
When another high point comes up, a playful frontal hug can happen or if something really wacky is happening, maybe I give her a helicopter hug (where I pick her up in my hug then spin her around once) From there, I may reward her high point with a scratch on the back of the neck where her hair starts or do a joking European greeting kiss on each of her cheeks. It doesn’t really matter exactly what it is, it just is small steps up the ladder.
Then everything just feels natural to her like it is supposed to be happening rather than a guy at the end of a date leaning in, face-to-face all of a sudden for a full make-out.
Everything ranges in speed depending on the girl & the context of a situation. On a dance floor, dancing may lead to grinding which can go to breathing down her neck, to kissing her neck, to a make-out while a walk through the MFA may be leading her with a hand on her lower back, to brief hand holding (ended by the guy so she has something to desire) to a quick peck on the lips mid sentence because a raise in her attraction was generated and detected.[/private]
…what we think we cannot have, or almost can have.
You can use this, as you will see in posts throughout the site that keep a girl wanting you, chasing you to have little tastes [private]of what you have to offer.
Don’t indicate that you are a sure thing, you haven’t learned enough about her to know if you want her as regular part of your world. Don’t indicate to her that she has NO chance, she’ll go and find someone who she feels she can have some success with.
Keep her understanding that she may have caught your attention, yet hasn’t shown you enough to fully hold your attention yet. [private]
Ok, here is a story to tell:
She sat down,got herself a glass of wine and this “average” girl came out with some outrageous confessions… [private]
Pretty soon the conversation got on the
topic of “Well, have you ever cheated on
She smiled and answered candidly…
“Every… Single…. One.” [/private]