As I’ve said before a single body language cue cannot tell you much but when several cues are all occurring at the same time that have similar meaning, a summary/conclusion can be drawn from this. Great benefits from understanding body language happen when you choose to use more of your own body language to express yourself. Research has shown that nonverbal signals can carry up to five times as much impact as the words spoken. Women especially, frequently roll on the [private]nonverbal messages that they see and hear, often times disregarding the words spoken.
Much of what your body language is doing has to be congruent with what you are saying & how you feel or else most women are able to read the conflict. Knowing the body language cues is very helpful though, since most men aren’t very expressive with their body language by knowing the cues you can turn up the volume of the messages you are sending.
When it comes to the handshake, many men grow up believing a firm one is the only way to go with everybody. In man to man interactions, the integrity and dominance are judged by the handshake. However, with a woman it is a totally different story, many men will still use their ‘firm handshake’ (sometimes too firm) when meeting a woman.
What I have found, in the subtle differences starts with a woman’s perception, is a few changes will establish a few things in her mind about you. Women are not as accustomed to the regularity of handshaking for meeting new people as men are. When it does happen I usually start with a firm (not too firm, just solid contact, all the way around) handshake to her to have the solid essence of my personality. Since there is no need to express dominance on a first meet up with woman (that may come later), I tilt my hand a bit so her hand is in my hand yet on top of mine. This lets her feel safe with the first meet up and since her hand is resting in mine, I do not pull my hand back. I keep talking and let her hand stay in mine as long as she wants to leave it there. She can have comfort in our physical contact and if we keep talking she usually leaves it there a bit longer than handshake might last, indicating to me a pleasant reception.
During a first handshake, I already know that I am the man, the dominant gender of our species. I may later make moves and have statements to remind her of this dominance that she can feel safe in, yet during a first meeting it is already pre-defined.
I also like to see, by the maintained conversation and maintained eye-contact, her feeling no pressure to pull her hand back. I think the extended eye-contact is another factor that she likes yet doesn’t want to interrupt it by pulling her hand back. On first meeting, this alone establishes a lot of comfort with touching and the extended eye contact builds up the sexual tension.[/private]
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