100% of every atom, of every cell of my body is. GOD told me it is my responibility to increase the replication, reproduction value of smart, refined, peaceful, well mannered men by my teaching so the become fruitful and multiply. <3 <3 <3
“Let d’Adventure Continue”, ~C.J. Clark
There’s little doubt that friends are easier to persuade than strangers. That emotional connection and shared history is often enough to get the poor wretches doing things they’d rather avoid, like helping us move home.
Forgive the mercenary language, but friendship is a fantastic lever for persuasion and influence, a lever we happily push on every day.
But how much does someone have to like us before we can start to influence them? And, more to the point, can only the most fleeting attraction[private] help us persuade
them to comply with a request?
Jerry Burger and colleagues at Santa Clara University used a sneaky experimental set-up to test this out (Burger et al., 2001). On arrival at the lab, participants were told the study was about first impressions and were asked to choose 20 adjectives which best described them from a list of 50 supplied.
The idea, they were told, was that they would swap lists with another participant in the experiment, then fill out some more questionnaires. After which, experiment over; back to the student bar. In fact the real test was coming.
The 20 adjectives from the ‘other person’ weren’t really from another person, it was part of the experimental manipulation. By varying the number of adjectives the ‘other person’ had ticked, the researchers were dividing participants into three groups:
The experimenters were manipulating liking between participants and the ‘other person’ by using what psychologists call the ‘mere similarity’ effect. This is people’s tendency to like others more because of some slight similarity with themselves. It could be a friend in common or something as trivial as their names starting with the same letter.
So, when participants left the lab, what a surprise, the person they thought they had been exchanging self-descriptive adjectives with just happened to be walking down the corridor with them.
Then the moment of truth. In passing the participant was asked for a favour: would they mind reading an 8-page essay and providing a page of feedback?
Even this seemingly trivial manipulation of adjectives-in-common had a measurable effect. People who thought they were dissimilar only complied with the request 43% of the time. This went up to 60% in the neutral condition. But in the similar condition, compliance went up to an impressive 77%, almost double the dissimilar condition.
The experimenters also did the same experiment in a couple of other ways but reached the same conclusion. Whether the fleeting attraction was caused by choosing the same adjectives or sitting together silently for a couple of minutes, it was enough to double compliance to a request.
This experiment suggests that fleeting attraction can be remarkably powerful in changing ‘no’ into ‘yes’. We process relatively small requests in an automatic way, using simple rules-of-thumb. When asked for a small favour by a stranger, we make a snap judgment on how much we like them based on trivial information, and this can have a huge influence on our response.
(http://www.spring.org.uk/2010/11/the-influence-of-fleeting-attraction.php)
[/private]
[private]
One part that might be interesting to remember is that attraction in itself occurs in the emotional side of our brain. Whereas we man do feel attraction, and even deeply, women are more emotional creatures from the start.
We have two major sides of the brain. One deals with mostly emotion in the other deals mostly with logic. When we feel attraction, in the same way emotions affect us, the chemicals released will do things such as heighten our awareness, give us a very detailed focus and attraction itself part of beginning of sexual arousal.
First impression wise, men are very visual when it comes to how attractive they find a woman. Since most of us believe that the world sees everything as we do many guys think women work this way as well.
[/private]
…I usually do that early in the night for a couple of reasons.
First, this lubes up the social muscles very well, desensitizing you to any anxiety or care about rejection. It becomes wicked easy just to keep starting conversations with all sorts of people. If any interaction turns out to be not what you like, it is easy to not care about any outcome with one girl, there are plenty you have rapport with in that one place on that night.
Once you start a conversation with one group, it is easy to roll out on a good note “I have to touch base with some people; I will come back in a few to chat.” Then you can roll out of that group of girls and walk directly over to another group of girls. The new girls just saw you walk from another group of girls so this shows you are the sociable guy that women like. The last girls watch you walk into the new set which they are assuming are people you are ‘touching base’ with and it looks as you have already known them.
This indicates a ‘pre-selection value’ to both groups of girls. Now being the sociable guy, it is easy to open some more groups and then come back to groups you have previously opened. As the night goes on, rolling in and out of groups starts to feel like you were already friends, to them and to you. As the night goes on, you are not the clingy guy hoping for some validation from some girls who are talking to, you are the guy who brings a group to a high point of laughing or comparable high, then rolling out leaving them to want more.
Next time you roll back in, they will be trying a little harder to keep you around this time, they don’t want you to leave…they just want some more high points.
Since you have met several groups of people, it is great to be introducing them to each other. “I want you to meet my friends, they will love you.” Yes you just met them, but they are now your friends. As I am introducing groups to each other, I will probably mention a thing or two about each person I learned about “…and this is Lisa who is a yoga instructor in Cambridge..” Since these types of comments get the new people talking to each other with a subject underway.
As the night goes on, and not being the clingy guy but the guy they try to keep around with their group, you get a sit of selection to which girl you want more with. You are not settling for the girl who will come home with you, you are choosing which one you like best. You can shoot lots of subtle feeler questions to each girl you are interested in “What are you doing after the bars close?” to see if she has plans, has to work early tomorrow, or what details let you know useful info.
When we walked back in the bar from the patio, there were two girls standing in the aisle, talking to each other. I simply walked over to them, put my hand to hold an arm of each of them and ask: “Are you guys doing alright, having a good time? Do you have everything you need?” They had big smiles to tell me they were. “Ok good, enjoy yourself.”
So maybe they assumed it was my club or I worked there & was just checking on them, that’s fine. I didn’t say I was with the club, I was just asking if they were having a good time. I left a sleight indication that if they weren’t having a good time, I would see what I could do. That is all totally true.
The vodka chick
Usually I probably wouldn’t suggest walking over right before we were leaving to ask her for a number. I would have suggested you make the suggestion mid conversation, in the moment. In that type of dynamic, I was merely observing you, for notes to give you after since I couldn’t so much tell you that in the moment.
Hired guns will have a standard of polite behavior that is a part of her job. What I saw, was her increasing her interest in you significantly as your conversation progressed. This was more than standard ‘polite to customer’ behavior. As you were joking and showing her tricks and switching subjects in the conversation, her attraction was raising. She was touching you more & the frequency was building up through your conversation. She did have to keep bouncing around the bar every so often to do her promo things, but one of those last times she was standing next to you, her frequency of touching you turned into her leaning over and kissing you on the cheek. She is merely a promo girl, that move was WAY above any necessary ‘polite to customer’ move.
The lap dance comment
I was using this first set to show you that something a little bit outrageous & out of context can be said & the girl doesn’t get offended, just playful. Almost anything is ok
…Anyways, it all started on my way back into Boston Common from DWTN Crossing, it was sunny, a nice day just to randomly greet people. I said ‘Hi’ to random interesting people I passed, started little 3 min convos, smiled and wave-acknowledged a bunch. I could feed the birds if….
At the moment she came into scene, I was on one side the crosswalk headed back to the commons courtyard. As I stand there, I scan everybody as I always do and I see her. She is an absolute ‘true10′ but without the ‘I hate the world’ look on her face. Out of the 15-20 people on that side of the street, she stuck out to me like a flamingo in a pack of seagulls, but she wasn’t covered in make-up. She wasn’t decked in ‘look-at-me’ clothes, just a [private]pair of jeans and a button down shirt.
That’s what caught my eye the most. She had an ‘agenda-free’ look, no expressions, no mask held up. She was a good 20 years old but had the un-city like innocence on her face. She had model beauty, but naturally.
I have my sunglasses on so I continue to look like I’m scanning as I watch her (my head slowly gazing back and forth, while my eyes were on her). If I wasn’t wearing my sunglasses, I would have checked her out in my peripheral sight while not showing that I noticed her till she was close enough to open.
You know how girls flirt subconsciously with their body language? They fix their hair, their shoes, or position their pose in an attractive way. Speaking in girl speak, I know some off handed body language motions that get them looking.
Girls do get shielded when they know guys are looking at them. When the walk light goes on I casually walk across the crosswalk but I am moving towards where I would be passing next to her.
As we pass each other, to play out as if seeming like I just noticed her, I simply smile and say ‘Hello’ and tilt my head back, greeting-ly. (tonality is key here, and have found the ‘Hello’ gets a lot more responses than the ‘Hi’ because you can draw out the elongated vowels, saying it in a slow sexy tone.)
She says “Hi’ back to me on her way past. I did a swoop around (which I hardly ever do, but she did catch my attention very well). I walk her direction and stop her just on the sidewalk where I started. We are in front of Finagle a Bagel, next to the crosswalk.
“Well, You ARE ugly…” (I said this while smirking, she definitely knows I’m joking) “…but something is drawing me to want to see what you’re like, find out more about you…HI, I’m C.j.” and I stick out my hand.
Now when I stick out my hand to shake a girl’s hand, this isn’t a business meeting. I am not trying to show her I have a firm handshake, I don’t need any alpha over tilt.
I offer her my hand, solid connection then my palm up holding hers in it. I can give her the most welcoming hand shake so she can feel most comfortable right now. She needs to have a first impression before she’ll feel safe following my lead. Or being in the tension I will be creating.
I don’t not pull my hand back after the standard amount of greeting time; it’s easy to leave it there for as long as she wants to leave hers in it. She doesn’t feel like I’m gripping, just matching her pressure. Often we pull our hand back like we do in a regular nice-to-meet you handshake. This hold open is saying to her in Body language: ‘you have caught my attention, I am still curious’ I leave my eyes mostly in hers while her hand is in mine.
We chat, most of my eye contact on her eyes with quick scans every so often, to think of things and not to seem like a staring psycho. Her hand is still in mine. I am not gripping it, I am just open handed lightly solid.
She tells me she is from Russia; I practice my single Russian phrase with her. “Kahk DeeLah” (written phonetically). We chat a little and I notice her friend is standing a few feet behind her. I can tell from this, that she would get pulled by her friend or pull herself from this to not keep her friend waiting.
I tell her of an outdoor salsa class I am headed to later; I give her the time constraint of: “Well, I was going this way…” (She just starts to slowly pull her hand out of mine), “….and I have to feed the birds…” (she didn’t notice how ‘non-pressing’ that is, time-wise.) “…but let me see your cell phone, we can talk later.”
She pulls her phone out as if she was going to punch the number in herself, but I pretended not to notice, and was holding out my hand expectantly. She finally hands me the phone.
The picture on the phone’s screen was probably why she didn’t want to hand me the phone in the first place, but I’ll get into that in a bit.
I punched in my number, called my phone, and then described to my voice mail everything I just learned about this girl in the few minutes we talked. I hang up & tell her that I will call her a little later and walk on my way.
About 30 min later, I text her saying that “I should be finished at 5:00 and will call you then.” Yes, I did text her30 min after meeting her: I planned on keeping this temperature going.
I got her flirty temperature up while we talked. I knew if I was going to manage this I’d need to keep it up. I text in 30 minutes, call an hour later about a same day event.
I know that when you text things like that, they wait and are thinking about you the whole time until you call. She also is ready to talk to you when you call, she will be a little bit more…um how could I say this?… ‘State-prepared.’
I end up getting caught up in other things when I realize it is 5:45, so I call.
I get her voicemail message. Then a recording tells me her voice mailbox is full. Ok, I carry on.
I saved my name into her phone, so if she has caller ID she’ll know that I called. If she calls back – great…. if she flakes – oh well. She caught my attention for a few minutes.
Then at 5 minutes to six I get a text from her:
She says: “Its almost 6!! ”
So I see she got my text. I am guessing she saw my call on ID, but who knows. Now she is telling me by subtext, “ok C.J., call me now, I will answer.”
I call her. I tell her about the salsa in the park and ask where she is at his very moment. She tells me she’s in the Common
“Great, I’m over by the ‘Park St’ staircase, meet me here and we’ll go over to salsa together.”
This is all part of the ‘Assume the Close’ I just told her about the event, expected she would be dying to go, and told her what to do next to come along. (To be continued)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was explaining this to a buddy of mine on a different situation. If she doesn’t want to go, she’ll stop things & indicate it clearly or say it clearly. There is no need to ask her anything. Just lead. If she follows – great, if not – lead to something else.
Hear what she says in words when it comes to her denials. I don’t try to read signals, and tones, and subtext unless they are compliances, unless they are the message I want to hear. Interpretations of subtext are so broad/vague. Guys are not built to read between the lines.
The only: ‘Supposed to’ to define in this interaction are the words. Meanings beyond what is said, while girls get that naturally, if you have learned this, Great. Since the interpretation is open, read the ones you want to hear. (& her seeing which ones you read is a reward to her. She will keep giving back the ones picked up on, the positive ones.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(resume)
So, I Tell her of the good time at the salsa. Then I tell her what her next step is, & that it’s easy on her part. We can go from there….
I sit on the planter next to the stair case and am going through my date book paperwork. I think she is coming with her friend. We can all go the Salsa, I can work them like a two set, and some other dance partner will keep her friend occupied.
When she comes over, She gets my attention & is by herself now. (This is a signal her interest; did she ditch her friend to hang out with me alone?)
I stand up, give her a hug, lean back while holding her arms and check her out (I look from eyes all the way to shoes, then back to eyes. My smile brightens in the scan to be brightest back into her eyes as I start a new thread)
I tell her a bunch of details about the salsa as I put my hand on her lower back to guide her to the direction of the staircase.
And I keep talking, no questions to her are needed here, I just ramble along about my day. Girls are usually nervous at the start of dates and such. They want you to be talking & keeping the spotlight off them till they warm up a bit…..this always works for me.
Don‘t worry about it, after they get talking, they love to ramble on. Then you can ask her open ended questions to keep her rambling. At this point, she’ll interrupt if she has something to tell me.
We walk downstairs to Park St. cut across underground tunnel to Downtown to grab the orange line. I body language vibe her the whole way.
I take her hand into mine (as if I am testing it, in my head) then I toss it down like it was covered in cooties. I do that as I’m talking about something else. I pay no mind to it, but it does get filed in her mind, you’ll see the expression on their faces as you get better at vibing.
As we walk, sometimes I will take her by the shoulders and move her to my right side as we walk. That is the side I prefer her on, and this keeps touching, leadership, and her compliance momentum.
I lead her to the right direction at points with my hand on her lower back. Trust me, when you do this they get the feeling of being protected. Its great touching and comfort all wrapped in one move.
As I passed other cute girls walking by, I smiled at them and said ‘hi’ to some. This reminds this Russian girl I am social to chicks. She sees girls along the way smiling at me and saying hi. These unknown girls will return ‘hi’s and smiles much better because I am walking with a girl and totally non threatening.
They don’t think they have to be defensive to my greetings. I couldn’t be hitting on them since I am with a beautiful girl. And if I was, that’s good too because I must be a prize (pre-selected) walking with her….
I know a bunch of people are thinking that these moves make a girl jealous and will screw up chances with her. Not only does it do the opposite, but has this girl earned any of my affections yet?
While waiting for the orange line, I was leaning one arm on the post and she leaned on the same post facing me, leaning her shoulder. She let her face be near mine while we were talking. She just pulled her hair out of her face, turning her head towards me but close, letting her hair fall on her face again.
I just pushed her hair back off her face, letting my fingertips slightly brush her cheek. She doesn’t break her gaze from mine or move back from my touch at all, so now I know. I let my hand find its way from her cheek and hair to the back of her neck and pulled her to me to kiss.
So I started kissing her there. One five minute open, a text, a re-meetup with a hug… a bit of touching, affection push/pull then ten minutes later a kiss. Things happen that fast when you’re plowing on in the vibe, reading and sending the signals. 93% of communication received comes with Tone, Vibe, and Body Language. It seems like a born-with skill, but this like any clever opener, can be learned and mastered.
It was all about reading her cues and vibing that got her here. If I didn’t kiss her at that moment, she could/would have blocked it later. She was in a moment I could seize.
Now we were getting on the packed train, I know she is coming along to my event. There is no need to keep her entertained, so I sit in one empty seat, she stands by the doors. We just kissed, so I’ll give her a chance to let that sink in. It is very key to give girls little breaks, little takeaways that give her the space to come to you. The break from your attentions let her have something to miss.
We get off the train & walked trying to find the salsa park.
We held hands some, like girl & guy buddies, and then I stopped and got interested in something we were passing. I came back to her to decide to kiss her after looking at her a moment. (I takeaway, then back in with a little escalate in level but then I take away again. This is great at building great tension.)
We traded stories about our life. She told me she was a model. I picked up her hands and asked her
“What, a hand model?” So then I talked about Jergen’s and nail polish ads, while she tried to correct me
“No real model!!” she said
I defended them. “That nail polish models work hard you know. They are just as hardworking as the…”
This just got her laughing and still wanting to correct me.
So we went to the park-salsa, danced a little bit, made out along the way. I would stop her along the walk for a kiss, then she would come at me when I stopped the make out early, pushing her away a little. Sometimes when it would escalate in intensity, I would push her back from then too. We’re out in the world; all I want to do out here is build up tension.
“Not here….” I said. We were on the sidewalk or leaning on a store side. “We have a dance class to get to.”
We went to the salsa for a bit, danced some. She wasn’t really into it. She sat on the bench for a while watching while I danced with the other girls. I kept an eye on her to watch if she was getting bored.
Then we bounced to Copley to walk around. We both were push/pulling the whole walk. I would wander too far ahead then she would call me back. Then she would catch up and keep walking right past me until I caught up with her.
I called her on my cell phone. She answered. I told her to stop. She did. I told her to turn around as I was walking towards her. She did that too.
But when I got to her I looked her in the eyes, held eye contact as I kept walking. I gave her a “hmmpht!’ sound for acknowledgment, joking disregard. This was all very playful, like little kids teasing to be the lead.
She followed me, asked where I was headed next. I turned around, took her hands and started talking about Copley spots like they were fun-park rides… or at least in that excitement I explained with.
We wandered around, between random make-outs, and sat on some park benches talking. At one point she pulled out her compact mirror and was checking her hair or whatever….but for way too long and rude while we’re talking.
I am not down with the vanity thing, she can hit the restroom. I also needed to pull her out of her own head. She was dreaming if she thought she could hold may attention with her looks alone.
I just stood up and walked over to another park bench as I went through my Blackberry checking my email.
She continued to be checking herself in the mirror, yet glancing at me every so often. My takeaway didn’t fully work.
Even after a few minutes went by, she looked absorbed, but girls are always on scan-mode, monitoring things in their peripheral even when they don’t look like it.
I got up from my bench and walked the other direction and behind a structure that you couldn’t see through.
My walking path led me to be right behind her bench. I went there but she wouldn’t see where I was because the structure blocked her view.
I also wanted to finish my email but still keep an eye on her; once she was done in her mirror we could have fun again.
Then I get a text: “Why are you always leaving me?” It was from her.
I just walked up from behind her bench, sat next to her and said: “Relax kid, I’m right here, I was just taking care of my email tasks so I wouldn’t have to worry about them later.”
I told her of where I was going next, which was in Brighton, closer to where I live.
“There in a pizza joint & a few cool clubs.” You always have to frame these ideas as things that are already going on, and she can come along. That keeps the pressure off us both.
Now I don’t get too firm in plans. If I want to hang out with her, if she definitely doesn’t want to go along on the event I chose, I just modify my lead, pick a new place for now.
She said no at first, I told her that we could go there later, and started walking to my train. She followed but it was the train that was going where we said anyway.
This next part is weird, I hardly understand it, but it is how it happened: We went to the Arlington st. Greenline station, and would be taking a ‘B’ line to get where I intended. We talked and chatted and joked and laughed as all the other letter trains came by.
I greeted a few girls there and while walking through the station, nothing direct just easy going ‘hello’s. I was bouncing my attention back and forth from my girl and away to someone/something else. Then a ‘B’ train came.
I stood up, and held my hand behind me for her to take it. She didn’t take it, first time all day of me offering it. She said something about not wanting to to go, but she was up standing and a few steps to the train. “Alright, It was fun meeting you…” as if I was leaving.
She stood there with with a look of the blues in her eye, so I pulled her back to the bench as I sat next to her, looking at her uncertainty and I started laughing. The ‘B’ train took off.
“I am going to the Hookah-bar, and then maybe grab a bite to eat in Brighton. It would be great if you came along, but I have better things to do than hang out in a train station. Why don’t you go home for now, it’s been a long day. You’d have a
great time at these places I am going too; I just have to take the next ‘B’ train that comes through. ”
She had no response so I just went on telling stories and chatting about other things. I explained what the next few steps of mine would be. She stayed engaged in the conversation, and I left some open loops to keep her in curiosity, keep her wanting more.
So I did. I got on the next ‘B’ and she came along. We went to Allston, touched base with a lot of my friends in these places. Then around 10 or so, we talked of going to the playground for a little while.
So far at
this point I have about 4 hours of flirting that led this whole thing to be where it is:
We were
at the bus stop, to go to the playground I intended. She was sitting on the bench, her elbows on her knees, her head on her hands facing down. I was standing up waiting for the bus and she looks up at me and says:
“I am Tired….. I want to go home, or I want you.”
I stopped, I thought about what she just said.
Of course I
was taken aback to what I just heard, but I showed nothing. I looked at her again and said as I would say to anything she would have said that I didn’t hear. “I’m sorry, what was that you said?”
“I am tired. I want to go Home, or I want you.” she repeated verbatim.
I thought for a minute. We had been kissing, I was building up her tension all day by stopping early and the ‘almost kisses’ that drive ‘em crazy. Where I have my face close, my lips close, but I smell her skin, the air rushing over as I inhale.
“Ok… let me check one thing.” I said. I sat down next to her and kissed her like I meant it, a real passionate kiss. I stood up and said “Okay.” and stuck my hand out for a cab.
[/private]
You are still that incredibly fun, interesting guy that she met. You have so many women that she has no idea if you are going to ask her out at all. You are totally un-needy. She wants you to tell her when and where to meet you. You don’t ask; you direct, since you are a leader.
Mainly, you want to reinforce in her mind…[private]
… that you are still that super fun guy she met, continue building lots of comfort (while keeping
the attraction fires burning), and last, but not least, get her to meet up with you.
The secret to good phone game is to be completely and totally un-needy. In any attractive woman’s life, there have been a million guys who she has her number to and lived to regret it; primarily because they made it a point to constantly ask her out at the slightest opportunity, whenever they had her on the phone. You are not going to be that guy. You are going to be that ultra-cool guy she wants to go out with but doesn’t give her any certainty that you will ever ask her out at all.
When you mention fun things you have in your upcoming plans, as soon as you hear her interest in them, it is so easy to suggest “Totally. I think we have room. You should definitely come along.”
“Our house almost got broken into when I was eight…but my if dad installed some swinging paint cans and some micro machines by the stairs that shit woulda never happened.”
[/private]
If a girl spends a 30 minute convo with a new guy, with her spending 90% of the time talking about herself, being truly listened to and appreciated for who she may be, she is going to feel a deepest rapport, attraction, almost an utter craving to learn all about the guy, want to spend more time, want to extend the current moments as long as possible COMPLETE NIGHT VS DAY CONTRAST than her sitting there listening to a guy ramble on about things he thinks is impressing her*, while the majority of the time she is yawning in her thoughts and mostly thinking her own things TOTALLY unrelated to the guy at all, he is making no impact.
On Call or [On Location] via email to cj@adventuresofattraction.com
You can either completely makeover your personality in order to impress her, or you can turn the tables and make her [private]do the work. When you put yourself in control of the situation, you are the one who has the power to reject her, because she believes you can have any girl you desire.
If you use this method to psych yourself up, you can calm your nerves and loosen up a bit, which will make women actually fight to get your attention.[/private]
…that she is more traveled than I am.
I can also see that my enthusiasm for the places I have been does more than [private]…even out the playing field.
“Oh my god! Costa Rica was like a picture perfect paradise you see in picture books. There were monkeys pulling candy wrappers out of the trash and a two foot tall brightly colored parrot in the tree nearby the picnic table we were sitting at..
The people were So friendly. As soon as they hear you trying a few Spanish phrases they make every effort with any English they know. I remember on more than one occasion, when I was asking directions, the people would walk with me most of the way to be able to point out the last stretch of the directions..
There were volcanoes spitting lava over the bay, waterfalls in every neighborhood we visited, and palm trees to coconuts wherever the could see.
The sunset over the bay stuck so hard in my mind, I had to paint what I remembered of it a few years later. It was an ever changing rainbow of opaly colors, shimmering on the water for the whole time we were eating dinner across the street from the beach…”
No matter what they are, facts can be boring. Enthusiasm and colorful pictures painted with your words can be very alluring and the enthusiasm is contagious. When I tell those stories I hear “I wish I was there” all the time.
[/private]
“Don’t get me wrong, [private] I’m not trying to pick you up I’m just here to meet new people and make new friends. However, when we do hang out, and if we were to really connect, who knows? It could be fate.”[/private]
As with all things resembling rejection, upon opening a girl and early in the interaction, she hasn’t rejected the guy who opened her. He can’t take it personally yet because she has no idea what he is like, how fun he is, how exciting he is, and all those things. She has a certain amount of blocking maneuvers built in. These will weed out the first level of guys; this will qualify the weaker ones out of her scope before she needs to do any serious qualification. It is sort of a time saving technique.
Almost all girls have an auto-responder built in. They are raised to be polite, so of course she will say “It was nice meeting you” as a way to give a hint to end the conversation. She hasn’t said (and most girls wouldn’t say): “I am done talking to you”… so I can take this hint as I haven’t sparked any interest/attraction yet which is fine. It is easy to change topics like the signal wasn’t noticed. By frequently changing topics and coming back to touch base on ones talked about is how old friends converse. By keeping this same eye for her signals open, I will see which topics engage her, interest her, excite her & spark attraction in her.
This, in a way, will speed up the amount of rapport felt between you both. When you keep changing topics & find a bunch of them that you agree on, you have rapport on a variety of topics, like old friends. Women don’t need to have their conversations run on a linear structure; they very much operate on a moment to moment basis.
Also by staying in the conversation & changing topics shows a masculine strength. Woman will stay polite as long as possible; it’s part of their social nature. This gives a man the opportunity to find her hot buttons. If one reads her silly ‘nice meeting…’ as a signal and cowers away, they’ve answered a qualification factor very quickly for her. She sees this as a man with not much to offer in depth & variety to his personality, one who had no other interests left quickly, saving her time.
If she walks away, that is an obvious explicit signal. Yes I keep my eyes and ears open to read the signals women send in subtext and indirectly, but I only respond to the ones that I like. I have heard girls blatantly disagree with an opinion point I have made. I am fine with disagreement, but I will just accept her point and further the reasons I have come to my conclusion. After hearing what I had to say I have heard girls make a second statement, agreeing with my point, as if she had never disagreed a moment ago. By continuously responding to the ones I like and not the other, I always see the frequency of positive ones picking up. The girl is getting a reward for the positive ones, with them being replied to, while the other ones are just ignored.
Being such social creatures, they seem to have a craving for approval (or explicit lack of) to be going one way or the other in any interaction they are in.
…what you have are beams of your powerful energy coming from your eyes, out to the world. If you practice maintaining eye contact with [private] every person (non-person to your world yet) that you pass in a day’s travel, you will see they are most often averting their eye contact first.
They are the first to break it, you are just scanning the people you pass to see which ones look interesting enough to say hi to or something. The people that do hold it for a through a whole second and into the next moment, maybe they are interesting. A simple ‘hi’ will start you off to have the answer to that question. Any girl that holds this eye contact, I will smile at and any guy that holds it I greet “Hey what’s up?”
By practicing your eye contact with everyone you pass will strengthen this in you. Guys that hold it get a greeting or the tilt head back a bit greeting and the girls get a smile. keep practicing this with all non-people to your world that you pass in a day and it will get stronger, more naturally regular. You get like a juice, a motivation from these tiny moments of connection throughout a day. [/private]
The galaxy is in a state of civil war. Spies for the Rebel Alliance have stolen plans to the Galactic Empire’s Death Star: a weaponized space station capable of annihilating an entire planet. Rebel leader Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) is in possession of the plans, but her ship is captured by Imperial forces under the command of the evil lord Darth Vader (David Prowse). Before she is captured, Leia hides the plans in the memory of a droid called R2-D2 (Kenny Baker), along with a holographic recording. The small droid escapes to the surface of the desert planet Tatooine with fellow droid C-3PO (Anthony Daniels).
The two droids are quickly captured by Jawa traders, who sell the pair to moisture farmer Owen Lars (Phil Brown) and his nephew, Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill). While Luke is cleaning R2-D2, he accidentally triggers part of Leia’s holographic message, in which she requests help from Obi-Wan Kenobi. The only “Kenobi” Luke knows of is an old hermit named Ben Kenobi (Alec Guinness) who lives in the nearby hills; Owen, however, dismisses any connection, suggesting that Obi-Wan is dead.
During dinner, R2-D2 escapes to seek Obi-Wan. By the time Luke discovers his escape it is too late for pursuit. The next morning Luke and C-3PO look for R2-D2, and just after finding him are attacked by Sand People. The assailants are scared off by Ben Kenobi, who reveals himself to be Obi-Wan. He takes Luke and the droids to his home, where he tells Luke of his days as a Jedi Knight. The Jedi were the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy before being wiped out by the Empire. Obi-Wan tells of the Force, from which the Jedi draw their power. He goes on to tell Luke of his father, Anakin Skywalker, another Jedi who fought alongside Obi-Wan. Contrary to his uncle’s claims, Luke learns that his father was betrayed and killed by Darth Vader, Obi-Wan’s former pupil who turned to the “dark side of the Force”. Luke is presented with his father’s lightsaber, the Jedi’s weapon of choice.
Obi-Wan views Leia’s complete message. Leia begs Obi-Wan to take R2-D2 and the Death Star plans to her home planet of Alderaan, where her father will be able to retrieve and analyze them. Obi-Wan asks Luke to learn the ways of the Force and join him on the trip. Luke initially refuses, offering Obi-Wan transit to a local space port. When he discovers that his home has been destroyed and his aunt and uncle were killed by Imperial stormtroopers in search of the droids, Luke agrees to join Obi-Wan and travel to Alderaan. The two hire smuggler Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and his Wookiee co-pilot Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) to transport them on their ship, the Millennium Falcon.
Meanwhile, Leia has been imprisoned on the Death Star and has resisted revealing the location of the secret Rebel base. Grand Moff Tarkin (Peter Cushing), the Death Star’s commanding officer and Vader’s superior, tries to coax information out of her by threatening to destroy Alderaan. Leia pretends to cooperate, but Tarkin destroys the planet anyway to demonstrate the power of the Empire’s new weapon. When the Falcon arrives at Alderaan’s coordinates, it finds only a cloud of rubble. They follow a TIE fighter, not realizing they are being drawn towards the Death Star. When they attempt to flee, the ship Falcon is captured by the station’s tractor beam, and is brought into its hangar bay.
The group escapes from the Falcon and takes refuge in a command room while Obi-Wan goes off to disable the tractor beam. While they are waiting, Luke discovers that Princess Leia is aboard and is scheduled to be executed. Sizing up the situation, Han, Luke, and Chewbacca stage a rescue and free the princess. After several harrowing escapes, they make their way back to the Falcon, where they witness a lightsaber duel between Obi-Wan and Darth Vader. As the others race onto the ship to escape, Obi-Wan allows himself to be struck down by Vader’s lightsaber; Kenobi disappears while his empty cloak and deactivated lightsaber fall to the ground.
As the Falcon makes its escape, Vader and Tarkin reveal that a tracking device was placed aboard the ship in order to finally find the rebel base. After fighting their way through a token defence, the Falcon flies clear of the Death Star and reaches the Yavin IV Rebel base. The Death Star plans are analyzed by the Rebels, disclosing a vulnerable exhaust port leading to the main reactor. Luke joins the assault team but Han collects his reward for the rescue and leaves, despite Luke’s request to stay and fight.
The Death Star arrives and is met by Rebel fighters. The Rebels suffer heavy losses—after several failed attack runs, few pilots survive. Vader appears in a TIE Advanced X1 and attacks the Rebel ships. Luke, one of the few Rebel pilots left, begins his attack as the Death Star moves into attack range. Vader closes on Luke, but as he is about to fire, Han arrives in the Falcon and attacks Vader’s wingmen. Vader’s ship is sent careening off into space. Guided by Obi-Wan’s voice telling him to use the Force, Luke switches off his targeting computer and fires a successful shot, destroying the Death Star seconds before it is about to fire on the Rebel base. Later, Princess Leia awards medals to Luke and Han for their heroism.
Siege
GSF General
******
Posts: 162
Group: GSF General
Post: #1
“No Kelly, I will NOT have sex with you…”
In high school, I felt that I was, in a way, an outcast, not your standard popular kid in high school. The way I was, was very unique. I actually was voted ‘most unique’ in both junior high and high school. Sure everyone knew of me, but I was always outside the box of normalcy.
Although I never was part of a clique, I would be friends with so many girls, ever since I was young. When I was in High School, I bet people thought I was gay since like the gay dudes, I had a ton of chick friends. Often this would have chicks talking of subjects that they may not discuss in front of other guys or guys they wanted. I never made such a big deal as I listened to their flirts and relationships, I just took notes in my head.
Here is what started how I learned most of the stuff I learned that kicked me into studying, writing & teaching social dynamics now for quite some time.
A huge revelation happened with one of my chick friends. This was, lets say: Kelly. She was a top notch popular girl. She might have liked my punky ways, but we were just friends, she was just one of my chick-friends.
The way people pass notes to kill time in a boring class, I was passing notes with this Kelly. We would usually just write senseless things and try to make each other laugh just to make the the class time go by.
One of the notes I wrote her, all I wrote was: “Kelly, No, no, no, no, no, no, no,….” about ten times. That’s it. That’s all I wrote & I passed it to her.
When I got it back & unfolded it. What she had written back was: “C.J., yes, yes, yes., yes, yes, yes,” about TWENTY times.
Just joking, or so I thought at the time, to make her laugh I wrote “No Kelly, I will NOT have sex with you.”
She took the note, unfolded it and started cracking up laughing, just what I wanted. Then just to play along she looked at me with a turned out, pouty bottom lip.
Kelly was a top notch hott, popular chick with tons of friends and all the guys wanting her. Any and every guy in school would trade a limb just to get 5 minutes in bed with Kelly and she knew it. No guy that knew who she was would think it would be a sane decision to tell her that he would NOT have sex with her, even if he was joking (just in case…ya never know).
At the time, I would have said I’d do anything to screw Kelly, except it was an idea so far out of my realm of believable possibilities, I never even thought of it.
Quote:
At the time I was always trying to screw a chick I hung out with all the time that kind of kept me in the friend zone, but would have sex with me every once in while since I was persistent and always playful about it. I never took things seriously. I never let her rejection get to me, I just laughed it off and tried another time. Staying playful/joking in my pursuits kept is always in an easygoing playful manner.
Like my other chick friends, Kelly & I called each other every so often…what I didn’t really notice at the time is that Kelly started calling me to say hi a bit more often. She turned her flirting up a noticeable notch. Now instead of just chick-friend, or friend-zone type of stuff, she started getting jokingly sexual and a bit demure on me.
At that time, I was still mostly clueless. I didn’t realize what was going on until a time after when I thought through the time-line of everything and put the pieces together.
We stayed friends, talking every once in a great while. I moved out of my parents house and rented a house a few towns away, about 30 minutes. And then came that time she called and wanted to come over for a random nothing reason.
I was clueless, told her to come over, then resumed the stupid silly talk we always do. I still didn’t think a thing…until she was laying back on my couch with squinty bedroom eyes, saying in that coy-playful voice: “C.J., come over here…” Still I was sort of clueless…until I got over to her.
She put both her arms around my neck and pulled me to her. I saw what was happening and just went with it. We fucked that day, in the middle of the afternoon, 2:30 or something. Then at some point after wards while we were lying in afterglow or something, she says to me: “Hey C.J. (with a little giggle) I thought you would not have sex with me.”
Of course, I didn’t say anything to that in the moment but I remembered that note I wrote to her trying to make her laugh. To be honest, I kept it as a trophy for a while after We first wrote it. Although it was joking, I would show my friends: “Look at this note me and Kelly wrote, she wants to bang me so bad…” I just wished that was true when I said it, not knowing a thing.
Wow. I was blown away. At first I thought I was way over-analyzing the situation. I didn’t know exactly but back then I was convinced that she came over to be seductive on me was that I wrote her a letter a time back. I thought the only reason she came over to get me to fuck her was because I told her in a note that I wouldn’t have sex with her. I couldn’t believe she remembered that note. I did.
This sent me into a serious trial and journal phase. I would figure out how to elaborate this concept so I could use it at my beck & call. I would modify it for whatever situation I was in, but the core of it was that I would be indicating to girls that I would not have sex with them.
I would indicate that I didn’t want to date them. I would let them know that they could not have my number.
The core of this whole concept was that I made it clear that I did not want a particular girl, in a joking way and she would start pursuing my attentions. I would do different things to try this out and I would journal my results.
Quote:
By the way, this is one of the biggest suggestions I could make to an aspiring PUA. Start yourself a journal and write down every interaction you possibly can. Have your accounts saturated with details. Every cause and effect should be noted. Write out the different things you say, the different things you do and how she responds. Write out her mood, her receptivity to you, what pissed her off, what made her laugh. I couldn’t think of anything that has helped calibrate me to where I am today.
So as I was doing these things based on the first concept, ideas & concepts about it began to flourish and evolve. I started meeting girls and they were going through great lengths to be chasing me.
I met one girl in a supermarket in Rhode Island. She lived in providence but stared coming to Massachusetts every weekend that I would let her. I met a girl from Florida at a concert in Saugertise NY. We traded numbers, kept in contact until she came up to Massachusetts for a week to hang out with me. This is the same girl who asked me why I wouldn’t kiss her. She kept working to have her way until she got it.
Now it wasn’t about absolute blocking the girl. As I first said, it was all in joking. Then to keep the momentum, it became a game, like dangling the yarn in front of the cat. You dangle it, but pull it out of the cat’s reach before it grabs it. Maybe you let it get a small piece every once in a while.
With a girl, instead of the yarn it was feelings of validation and approval. I would give them small tastes of the good stuff, then take me out of their reach, just barely out of their reach. They always had to work at keeping me interested, which they did. They never felt like I was a sure thing with them.
*There actually are ways on this same core principle that keeps relationships fresh, never boring. It is much different in design, but same concept with different applications. If you kept up with the first part throughout a relationship, a girl would leave you to never have the feeling of security that a relationship provides. I will go into depth of the points that are modified for a relationship, but before that is meeting them and getting them into bed.
Switch that around. Imagine what it would be like if your hott dream girl was always trying to get you into bed. You’d be wicked happy with that on a regular basis, wouldn’t you?
Since guys hit puberty, we go around chasing girls, trying to convince them to be with us. We try to impress them so they’ll let us kiss them. We try to offer a good solid model of a man that looks like a good steady boyfriend, one that she will be with because he is stable. we go around thinking that buying them dinner and impressing them will win their heart.
Those are are very valid points and most of them are useful but since we have been chasing girls since we hit puberty, it is almost like a relief when they are chasing us. A man who is being chased by a girl, a man who feels wanted on a regular basis can focus his efforts and energies on bringing them both to fun places, adventures and experiences that they both will enjoy and never forget.
The same thing happens with a girl. Since she hits puberty, there are guys trying to win them over, all over the place. There are guys bending over backwards to get an indication of their approval. Guys have been going though great pains to be accepted, and hopefully liked by her.
She had to put very little, if any effort into always having a guy at her beck & call. Sure she keeps her looks in order, but she doesn’t have to invest in the interactions to feel like she has won the whole game.
Quote:
You know girls like sex. You also know that people want more of those things they cannot have. What they want most are those things they almost can have but not quite yet, just a hair out of reach.
A girl is actually happier when she is chasing a guy she likes since she never has had to do that her whole life.
Girls are humble creatures by nature. They won’t make a big deal getting things started with a guy, but once a guy gets things rolling and she is comfortable enough, she will chase with hopes higher than that of a dog at a cookout.
So both the guy and the girl are actually happier, from start to every step of the way along the process, when she is chasing him. Once I realized this from much trial and recording results that I went through, it dropped any feeling that this might not be the right dynamic to pursue.
As I have seen in PUA materials, I don’t like the thought of underhanded manipulation in any way. There actually was quite a famous pickup guru that along with his misogynist indications, he always seemed like he was skilled in tricking girls to sleep with them so he could drop them at the curb. I didn’t like that.
I grew up with a single mother and have enormous respect for women. Many women and girls have been a huge part of my life, my whole life. But this whole dynamic of girls in pursuit of a guy was actually what women enjoyed most, so I pursued learning more.
That was over 10 years ago, the learning never stopped and keeps growing as I share with people to this day.
Sept Day GSF
FREE Coaching & Day/Nightgame meetups weekly in Boston
C.J. – Boston Dating Coach Blog
Be a challenge, play hard to get.
Talk to her for a few minutes then walk away and do something else (this is key when [private] you see she is at a high point because of your interaction.
This keeps her wanting more. You can make her want what you have, what you are. Give her a little and then tease her a bit.
Do not make anything easy to get. Stay mysterious.
There is no need to answer questions about work so early. Be vague, especially if you have a really good answer. The most confident people never need to brag. Never give a woman a direct answer.
Play with her a little bit. Answer questions with questions. Get her to commit to something. If she complains or doesn’t like something, turn it up and give it back the way you would to our little sister.
Never give a woman exactly what she asks for. Always send mixed signals. Tell her “let’s be friends” at random times to show her she is in danger of getting stuck in your ‘friend-zone’ and nothing else.
Be unpredictable. Keep mixing it up and changing the patterns. Be distinctive, not boring. As far as showing your interest, take two steps forward then one step back. That would be two steps that indicate your interest to her, with a separate single one to indicate you’re not interested.
Keep up the tension. Like playing poker, always raise & call her bluff. You can lead and move forward very confidently. There is no need to apologize, act apologetic or insecure. Don not try to get any approval or look like you are trying to impress people, especially girls. Softies are for the dryer[/private]
Blina Ventosposted toCj Clark Piona
17 minutes ago
siege man reply my question on your page!! I checked deangelo’s sex secrets it helped me a lot but not on the question I asked =]
1Unlike ·
You like this.
Cj Clark Piona You got it brother, I am looking for my most detailed writings to share with you right here since you are not afraid to ask on my walls, in my groups, sites, I will post all paid content from my E-book material ABSOLUTELY FREE as my way of saying thanks, since the answers, Open Q&A help guys without the resourse to come to my Boston, National International events and may not yet have
13 minutes ago · Unlike · 1
Cj Clark Piona …and may not yet have built up the confidence to admit they need to know..or built up the confidence to ask anybody yet.
12 minutes ago · Unlike · 1
Cj Clark Piona AND ALWAYS FEEL FREE TO ASK, since the reason why 90+% of my time is doing these same things FOR FREE is because I lov e it so much and love love so much…and I think it the most inner fulfillment we habve here in life possible….WAY MORE than a million material luxuries so many people chase to try and have too many of….This love stuff really fills an inner
10 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona …fills an inner place that better than all the drugs, thrill rides, a complete peace in happiness that I do find to be the ultimate secret to happiness, Love, inner love, intimate love, self love with who you love, and sex, as I see it IS the ultimate expression of loving those moments…al of that time together in it’s most intimate way 
8 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona attitude like jersey Shore promotes..I fall in lve and love forever, still wholeheartedly in love with the girl I lost my virginity to…and a myriad of beautiful women I have met since..I fall in love, with girls even with no sex, to enjoy those completely moments…where as it led me to finally love myself for real, the hardest love of them all. Thank you very much Blina, feel free to send anyone you like my way, I \
5 minutes ago · Like · 1
Blina Ventos Am also saying thanks for helping me as a brother am glad, am still young but HB’S here keep wondering how I sarge them and am just 20 =]
5 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona I will be more than happy to help and when they tell me Blina sent them, they get the same treatment as a fine getnleman such as yourself does, Thank you
4 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona Keep at it brother. I was courting girls twice my age when I was 20, loving them, and they too taught me so much about the world and about love…and they are women who already had their experience with guyus to know how to choose them, I was humbly honored to be in their hearts, and for them to be in mine
3 minutes ago · Like
Blina Ventos I like the part where you fall in love with girls even without having sex with them..I appreciate your support and I believe you gonna support me to become a pua
2 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona
3 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona You can make whatever you dream of happen as turn within your life, full force…and if you appreciate every little success along the way…each piece and part that comes to you, it seems to come in a flourish of over ten-fold than ever expected possible…
2 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona that is how it has been for me anyways…realizing the beginnings of all of this started for me in fullest force, last spring, February/March 2010 or so…
2 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona then completely exploded in never-ending waterfall of all I had dreamed of in amounts that bring my to the uncertainty even in emotion, to laugh or cry or shout at the sky HUGE THANK YOU’s to all of the universal higher powers, what I know to be God of my universe, our universe…in fuller force than I ever thought possible. Thank you., and Thank you too Joni. Comments like yours remind me of all of the wondrous windfalls to be more saturated in them, immersed in the feelings
about a minute ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona of appreciation and MORE than my ever-ready nature to share everything and anything I have learned along these lines…to show someone else to have all of this is what makes me feel complete in my purpose…and the sperm who won the race to the egg, that third of a century ago. Thankful.
… friendships and romantic relationships. The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of [private]research in social psychology. Interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, love, dislike, or hate someone. It can be viewed as a force acting between two people that tends to draw them together and resist their separation. When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy. It is suggested that attraction between people which leads to friendships and romantic relationships. The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of research in social psychology. Interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, love, dislike, or hate someone. It can be viewed as a force acting between two people that tends to draw them together and resist their separation. When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy. It is suggested that to determine attraction, personality and situation must be taken into account.
DSmoothMike
MemberPosts: 197
Likes Given: 30
Likes Received: 15 in 12 posts
Joined: Oct 2010
Reputation: 5AMOG Issues
Yesterday, a buff muscle head tried to AMOG me by talking shit about my speech impediment. The girl gave a “fake” giggle and looked at me to see how I would respond. I smiled at him and said, “Yeah…I got a speech impediment….but at least I get laid….a lot.” The girl just bursts out laughing, slaps me on the chest and that guy just bowed down his head and frowned! Of the 3 guys there, I’m the only one who scored the number, but couldn’t pull since she had class. But now that guy knows, not to fuck with this stuttering comedian.Sure there are other ways of getting around AMOG’s, mine are just overly witty. Aside from unreactivity, what are some of your ways of overcoming an AMOG?
-DSM
D as in “Damn” Smooth as in “Butter” Mike as in “The Filippino lover!”
…because they don’t turn off the sexuality… [private]“nice” guys think women will be terrified of their
sexuality, so they turn it off and all they get is women responding to their androgyny.
The great part of this is, is that a guy does not have to be a bastard to keep this same attraction switch on. Keep sexual topics flowing freely from your mouth and she will see that sex is an acceptable topic to be discussing with you.
“I hear about all this equal rights talk going on. Did you know that women are capable of NINE different t
ypes of orgasms? Guys only get two types that we can have, this ‘nine’ business seems like you got a better end of that deal.”
Saying something like this opens the table for okay-ness to have sex on it and also shows a sexual intelligence that most guys do not have. If you know this much, she will go on to wonder if you know how to give her those nine types.
“Hey honey, don’t worry about it. I’m cocky for a big reason.:
[/private]
If you are trying to fit into the norm in every area of your life, think about this: ‘average guy’ means just like all the rest. What is special about you that would cause her to choose you over any of the other millions of guys on this planet?
A woman’s attraction instincts would be invoked by [private]things such as humor, confidence, attitude way more then anything like looks or money. Of course those things would get a woman’s attention as a guy first walks in the room, once the conversation is started those factors seem to melt away.
Not only do you want to live an “above average” lifestyle, if you are approaching a new woman, being categorized as “average” in the first 90 seconds will shut off any available attraction triggers in her mind. The challenge has ended before it even has started.
When I see or hear of a guy seeing the woman he has interest in and then asking “do you have a boyfriend?” Or something very weak sounding such as: “can I take you out sometime?”… These type of things are indicating that a man has interest in the girl weigh more than well last if he gets to know her and she’s not that cool. She knows this. So many guys approach with these type of questions, that alone will write him off.
Listen, you want to find a girl that not only can catch your attention but can also hold it, right? Yes you should be open to meeting new people, meeting new women to see what they’re like unless not jump steps just yet. Start slow, even slower than that. Make your small moves to learn about the woman and see if she has interesting character to her.
“Beauty without character is like a masterpiece painted on a napkin.”
Then once the initial contact is made in a girl and a guy start to get to know each other, I have seen guys doing things such as buying her gifts, taking her to expensive restaurants and/or doing favors for her to earn her approval. A woman’s gonna find this very unattractive. These type of steps come from a man feels his inner character in real cell is unattractive and may be hiding is I’ll tear your motives are wanting to sleep with her.
Yes, sure, yes please go ahead and do those things once you have gotten to know a girl and she seems really special to you. You have gotten to know her enough to know that those type of rewards as mentioned above have been earned in time with her is rewarding enough to you to give her those things.
At the very beginning and meeting a woman not only do you want to know those things (how cool she is) she also wants to know those about you. Remember that. If she has caught your attention, you can easily bring her and you bolt to be feeling that excitement, tension, and attraction at the very beginning of your meet up. You never have to wonder where you stand with her, you are very sociable a and if anything, she should be curious to know where she stands with you. She should be carriers to know and to earn your time taking her along your adventures. Once you have learned enough about her, of course then you decide it is like to spend more time with her and maybe go through some of the dating rituals (if that is what you choose).
Think of it this way: one relationship is based and built upon two people that enjoy each other’s company very much and they enjoy each other’s personality. Compare that to another relationship whereas a girl decides to hang out with a guy because he buys her gifts, takes her on expensive dates, and does outlandish favors for her. (By the way as a relationship grows favors become a two-way street).
If you are in club with a buttoned shirt & one sleeve unbuttoned, you can ask a nearby girl:
“Hey, I’m meeting a friend in a second and I couldn’t get this button (Point to unbuttoned sleeve), do you think you could … ?”
Then I say: “Thanks, you’re really friendly. Who are you here with tonight?”[/private]
[private][private]Uoffhanded affection can come from picking the lint from her clothes, taking the eyelash from her cheek, taking the lint from her chin.
Make no big deal out of this, get it done & keep moving along, keep talking like it’s nothing.[/private]
[/private]
From a ‘tips for girls’ passage. Stuff to be on the lookout for:
[private]
Rubbing finger on lips, sucking finger, anytime you lift something to your mouth, it could be sexual, licking spoon,
Nice & slow – keep tongue out ½ second longer, capsicum, does stimulate blood flow in lips…[/private]
..but I think it works both ways.
Disconnection gives her a need to do 2 things
First, since you have previously made a good connection for you to disconnect from, this gives her the space, the need to pursue you. When you disconnect properly, [private]you become a commodity that she wants to have more of. When you are the one man who is not groveling for her attentions, you already are standing out from the rest.
This is not harshly pushing her away forever. You are just creating a distance between the 2 of you that looks to her as a distance she can bridge. This sort of distance causes you to become interesting to her.
If you give her a truth disconnect or even bust her on bad behavior she is likely to explain herself or even apologize. Stay observant to the truths around you and those truths about her. Doing this without much opinion added to it is something people realistically look at and adjust their behaviors for a more favorable truth to be revealed about themselves.
If you want to have chemistry with a woman, you both have room to move in; room to move towards each other. If you don’t give her room to move towards you, you won’t have chemistry and that will have you rarely getting success. If you go and fulfill all of a woman’s desires, she has nowhere to go but away.
I see many guys who aren’t giving the girl room to move towards them. If you are always moving towards her she has no room to move towards you. Disconnection gives her room, and a desire for you that is unfulfilled and draws her in your direction. These show difference between you and her and cause her to work for your approval.
Disconnection shows you are a strong, bold interesting man. Disconnection creates controversy which is interesting on every level. Controversy is inherently interesting.
[/private]
“Listen< i am for the thoery to ‘Make awkward sexual advances not war’ so if you play your cards right…” andd then I change the subject letting her curiosity grow.
Foreplay starts way before even intimate caresses, but take your time and enjoy the wave. Although you may be thinking the main event is the prize to chase, you can have incredibly long lasting waves of pleasure throughout the process. This ensures that both you and she are mentally, emotionally, and physically ready for some good [private] lovemaking all on the same page of a moment.
Don’t make sexy-time an ‘all-of-a-sudden’ event. Start with sexy offhanded comments and affection, and then bring it up tiny notches as time goes by. Be easy to stop at various times too, you can always bring it back to level later, this will build the tease which she will love.
Good foreplay starts hours or even days in advance. This will create a sexual tension so high, when you finally have your time together, she will finally come to orgasm so much easier.
Once a much closer intimacy has been reached, oral sex is a great way to bring a girl to her orgasm. In fact, many women claim that this is the only way they can reach an orgasm.
When you go down on her, don’t be in a rush. Kiss your way down her belly, as you get closer slow it down a bit. Enjoy her inner thighs and the low area on her belly. Kiss and lick the outer edges of her lower lips. Inhale her scent, it can be like a drug to you and she will feel the air rushing by her hot places.
Enjoy the journey as much as the destination. As such, go slow at first. Lick gently and tenderly for a while, you will notice her arousal increasing. She will be getting much wetter and you will see the petals of her vagina start to unfold. These will come out to you, all filled with blood and very red. Just when you see and know she is really turned on and aching for you to go further, then move in to her sweet spot, her clitoris. This is saturated with pleasurable nerve endings, and this too needs much pre-game before the best stimulus can happen.
Start by drawing small circles around it. Then try some figure 8 patterns with your tongue. Then take some advice from a past comic and use the tip of your tongue to trace the pattern of every letter in the alphabet. Even between letters it is good to give her clitoris a break and kiss her inner thighs again. This time lets the sensations you have just brought her to soak in and for your teasing away to have her want you there more.
In addition to your fancy tongue and lip action, start using your fingers. You can use your fingers to give her some feelings of entry. You can enter with your fingers in a ‘come here’ curve to make circles around her G-spot. This is located on the vaginal wall on the forward side, towards her belly.
Now you can alternate between kissing and teasing with your tongue and using your fingers so that with resting, this can go on longer. Hear her groans during different types of touches you are doing to her. Her verbal expressions of pleasure will be telling you which ways feel best to her.
While you are kissing and teasing with your kisses, you can also use your other hand to spread her lips apart so that you have full access to her clitoris. Also a hand applying some pressure to her lower back, just above her ass, that place is full of the nerve endings that good pressure will activate more wetness of her and sensitize her vagina.
Remember those free hands to stimulate her other zones. A hand on her nipple and another in her mouth can give her feelings, of waves of pleasure coming from all different directions through her body.
Don’t forget to stay attuned to her moaning and breathing changes, Continue the actions that brought those differences on. Also remember the actions in your mind that caused those changes. With those in mind you can stop what you are doing, let her settle some and then tease her more. This way she escalates in arousal, then with you coming right back to it, she will go higher. This will lead to a much larger orgasm for her.
All material is copyright of C.J. Piona©2010 (unless otherwise specified) and may not be used without express permission
[/private]
…an underlying theme in a girl’s world but also showing that you are[private] making an exception for the girl you just met is easy.
I do this by saying something that has both ideas in it like this:
“Well I just don’t give my number to chicks that I meet in the world anymore…but if I put your name on your number, I would pick it up when you call.” As I hand her my phone.
[/private]
[private]
There are times when you can see she is ready for your kiss. In those times, it is great to get as close as possible but still not kiss her. Attention will build incredibly and her desire for you to go through the roof.
[/private]
…what we think we cannot have, or almost can have.
You can use this, as you will see in posts throughout the site that keep a girl wanting you, chasing you to have little tastes [private]of what you have to offer.
Don’t indicate that you are a sure thing, you haven’t learned enough about her to know if you want her as regular part of your world. Don’t indicate to her that she has NO chance, she’ll go and find someone who she feels she can have some success with.
Keep her understanding that she may have caught your attention, yet hasn’t shown you enough to fully hold your attention yet. [private]
Ok, here is a story to tell:
She sat down,got herself a glass of wine and this “average” girl came out with some outrageous confessions… [private]
Pretty soon the conversation got on the
topic of “Well, have you ever cheated on
your boyfriend?”
She smiled and answered candidly…
“Every… Single…. One.” [/private]
