Yes, exactly! Every one does grow higher and faster and in a more enjoyable way working in the positives. We also have the driving factors that motivate our behavior…i.e. Taking actions that avoid negatives versus taking actions that are pursuing positives.
While it is much more productive and leads to higher successes to be taking actions to be pursuing positives, these also don’t lose momentum the way the other side does. On the positive side, the pleasure of successes further motivates to continue while motivating a person to continuously set higher goals.
The ‘avoiding negative’ structure has a person to stop pushing once they feel the negative has been avoided.
Why it is more enjoyable is all the feelings that come from imagining the successes, each step further in the direction and the glory felt achieving every mini goal within a larger one.
The reason, I had to switch for a brief moment to the negative was for a quick contrast. Before that I given you dozens of different positive reinforcements. These were structures for positive self-reinforcements, literally laying out of the ‘truth without observations’ to help extinguish any limiting beliefs that the mind makes up without facts to back them up and tools to use right away that left no negative result to be expected. Also much of these, I explained in different ways to help make them more clearer in that present moment.
Between each of those I tried to push you into immediate action. The highest amount of learning happens when you are in the experience yourself, having real ‘speed-of-life’ results to be in that you can grow from each time. Each time I tried to push you, you would actively search for a way to avoid it. That is how a limiting habit starts to form. You make excuses. Then for your mind to avoid any cognitive dissonance (which is being debated within a person subconsciously as well), your mind makes you take the actions to back up what you just said, leading to less action in that particular case.
Your lack of action, in the moment led me to give you a new example, tool, re-enforcement to use as fuel to get up and take action. You would reply with a new excuse of why you were not taking the action. Then your mind would justify it by backing up what you just said by limiting you action to have it congruent with what you just told me (and heard yourself say out loud).
Out loud. You see that is part of the reason I have you state things out loud in their most beneficial way.
There is not a person in the world that we believe more than ourselves. Once we are saying things, first in out head, then hearing ourselves say it out loud, we start to believe it more than anything else that comes our way.
So the pattern was happening like this. We would discuss some things to get you ready. What to say, why it is a ‘same or better’ only type of result to expect in the situation, positive reinforcement, structure for what to do for some self positive reinforcement. Then I would direct you to get up and take steps. You would give me excuse why you would not. your mind would make you not take the actions to justify what you said.
If you take the actions I direct you to, right away, all of the preceding things gets a reward from you taking the actions. You are then in a conversation that anything good can now happen. That is reward, reinforcing you taking the positive actions then getting a small reward for doing so.
But you were still not taking the actions I would direct you too, ((which is the first absolute necessity for quickest successful results to start happening)) for you getting the dramatic improvement and results I know you will be getting. I know this from years of doing this, with years of study related to social psychology, experimentation in millions of ways, studies throughout learning/memory branch of psychology and endless amount of hours observing real world actions/results.
After seeing the pattern starting to form that way (reward for negative action) I had to stop it in its tracks. I was giving you tools, quick state improving exercises and directions of what to do in that exact moment.
In response to that, you were making excuses, then taking action to back up your claim. By me giving you those positive reinforcements, and self positive reinforcements after the first run, your mind was getting a reward in a different way for not taking the action.
The positive reinforcements generate good feelings within us. That is a great thing to do right before opening a set, we come in with a great state. Although your mind was getting a reward on a small scale, that is less rewarding than what is available throughout a conversation with a new girl ….but it is a reward no less. If we continued to do this, it would be rewarding a pattern in you that does not get real life positive results with the girls.
At that point the pattern had to broken to get any actions from you happening. I had to disrupt the pattern and mix up a few things to start a new one before that one went on any longer. First I stand up to see if you model what I did (which you did at first) then directed you to take the steps again. Now that you are standing, you can just walk over. …But you did not.
I first picked up the glass of water as I stood up. This was for me to take a sip if you just started taking the steps over to the girls but also to have it in my hand if you did not.
Since you did not start taking steps, you started making more excuses and re-justifying your lack of action.
I had to do something else to break the pattern. That is when I held it over your head, telling you I was about to pour. Logically, I would not really pour water on your head but I had to have you actively imaging that happening for it to be breaking the previous thought/action patterns that were happening in your mind.
You were imagining what would happen, how bad it would be for me to pour water on you in that situation and understanding the reasons why it would happen, your lack of action.
This was the introduction of a contrast happening in the mind. Once you had that fully thought of, the other side of the equation, I could quickly switch back to examples of reward of taking action…or contrasting it again with actions on the positive side.
To get the reward quickly seen coming from action within your mind (without you hesitating again on the old pattern) and avoid the possibility of you hesitating again, I had to open that first set of girls and introduce you in. For it to work, you need to have the time sequence of action to reward come quickly, especially right at first to get the ball rolling….to generate the momentum in the right direction.
Now although I can do those things of breaking patterns within a mind to install or establish new patterns right away (thank my experiences with Anthony Robbins foundation when I lived in San Diego in 99) the real magic in the attraction/seduction/pickup comes after this. All the good stuff I love to teach best happens after the open.
That being said, when I give you directions, I need you to take them. That way I can give you further tools to direct interactions to their best possible places. You can trust that from the amount of experience, I have seen a million things done in all sorts of ways and will be directing you in the ways to get you your best results. When I tell you to open a set of girls and then roll right from that one to the next group nearby, you need to open the set of girls and then walk over to the second set to open them as well.
Since I explained to you exactly what to do more than once (since you were trying to over-intellectualize your way out of it), I had you repeat back to me what you would be doing to make sure you were clear, which you did several times. Repeating that back out loud is great. It makes a comitment in our mind that is harder to forget
From that point I need you to be taking the steps you just told me you would be taking, not back to our table after you just open the first set. This was the previous (negative) pattern trying to get some of that feeling of reward on the tiny scale again without the actions being taken. It wanted more reinforcement without actions taken to earn it.
None of what you did was a mistake, per se. You see that because of it, what can be identified quickly from as to keep it from happening again. Once I can show you what was going on & with that identification to be clear in your mind, you too are in a better place to avoid it from happening again. When I give you instructions, I need you to take them so we can get to the best, most effective, faster result generating stuff as soon as possible. This is what you would want & what I do want the most… to have you getting those dramatic results quickly.
You know my biggest love in all of this is to see the dramatic results in the guys I help. I know what steps need to be taken to get those results but I need a guy willing to take the steps. Don’t worry, along with what happened last night, there are many other ways to install productive habits and positive/productive thought patterns over previously repeated negative ones. Approach anxiety will come up a bunch of different ways, it still happens in many seasoned guys so there are dozens of ways to extinguish it quickly (or use it to your advantage) and just keep rolling.
Those feelings can be used for what they really are in their best ways. The fight/flight instinct can be used to fuel your best wit to come out, your sharpest calibration, your best game to flourish…you just have to seize it as soon as it comes up to direct it to those places for what you want to happen anyways. By sitting there & avoiding action, it becomes the fright reflex in your body… If in the exact moment you feel it, that you start taking those steps toward the cause of the feelings, they will be motivating those best qualities in you to be at their highest.
Which ever way you go with it at it’s first indication of being in you, that will grow. Similar to “assume the best and you will get closest to the best, but assume the worst and you will get closest to that too” as in what is going on within yourself and what responses you are getting from girls…but yes that is a whole other chapter so I will go into those when you are taking the steps that get you to those situations as they arise.
You are paid in full so far as we agreed to exchange of time for time…this next part is just an explanation of what happens:
(((( Another reason I charge, even the minimal amounts as I do compared to what I put into it all… for putting in so much work into committed blocks of time is that once guys are ready to take all the steps I direct they hire me for a chunk. This not only shows me their commitment is as high as mine for seeing that dramatic progress in their life, this reinforces the commitment within them. This reinforced commitment pushes the action in of itself, which works best for both of us involved.
I see all the time the differences in taking the steps needed to make major things happen. Once a guy invests some money for my time, he does everything necessary to get the most of his money. Since I am already putting more time into them outside of the chunk we set up and do put as much as possible into the time to maximize its effectiveness, I feel we are more on the same plane of amount of effort put in and desire to see the results possible. ))))
((((Even when it came to the guy we had spoke about that I recently worked with for those dramatic results, there was a switch, an increase in motivation for that reason. Although we first started a bunch of months ago, at first that also was just a trade of time for time like you & I are doing.
I don’t know much about video editing, so he was helping me put together an audition video for a project I was asked to be a part of from a casting company.
From our beginning stuff, he saw what was possible in the progress from the starter seeds I gave him. It wasn’t until a month or 2 ago he decided to sign on for chunks of my focused time. . That is when we could both put our ‘all’ into everything we do together and he started getting much more major results of girls asking for his number, asking him for dates, kissing him in clubs and phucking after a few hours.))))
There are other ways to seize our internal motivation and cancel our outcome dependency or goal driven nature to let our whole mind be more ok with just working on the process and the steps between it. This is much better than our mind wanting perfect results every time. When our internal mind can take this off its priority list, our behaviors are much more attractive to women in the subtle things they can detect about us.
Next time we go out together I can show you how one of these structures works. That is a way, to get our mind focused on something other than wanting a specific result from an interaction before we are in it. This also helps to snuff out the approach anxiety since our subconscious has a different goal point in mind. It keeps our conscious thoughts from caring what really happens in any interaction we are in.
Having those to factors canceled, we find we are well into a conversation before we even realize to decide if we want to hang out with the girl again. It makes it much easier to decide on a case by case basis depending on the girl spoken with, to decide if she is cute, there is chemistry whatever….also is much easier to be planting those seeds to get her chasing when we really don’t care if she like us or not in a romantic way.
“Let d’Adventure Continue”
~C.J. ‘The Siege’
** [[Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding conflicting ideas simultaneously. The theory of cognitive dissonance proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance. They do this by changing their attitudes, beliefs, and actions. Dissonance is also reduced by justifying, blaming, and denying. It is one of the most influential and extensively studied theories in social psychology.
People are biased to think of their choices as correct, despite any contrary evidence. This bias gives dissonance theory its predictive power, shedding light on otherwise puzzling irrational and destructive behavior.
A classical example of this idea (and the origin of the expression “sour grapes”) is expressed in the fable The Fox and the Grapes by Aesop (ca. 620–564 BCE). In the story, a fox sees some high-hanging grapes and wishes to eat them. When the fox is unable to think of a way to reach them, he surmises that the grapes are probably not worth eating, as they must not be ripe or that they are sour. This example follows a pattern: one desires something, finds it unattainable, and reduces one’s dissonance by criticizing it. Jon Elster calls this pattern “adaptive preference formation.” (en.wikipedia.org)]]
~C.J. “Let d’Adventure Continue” Piona © 2011