getting her to be chasing you too is not to have every conclusion taken care of yourself.
Some of the most key conclusions will be found by her, her own imagination and deduction based on what you have said to her.
Let’s say I just met a girl, some click was happening and it crosses my mind that I want to talk to her again. I think we should trade numbers or something, but all I say is:
“You seem like an interesting energy. If nothing else, you seem like you make a good friend. It is a shame that this is the last we’ll talk, gone forever.”
This way, since we were having a good time in conversation, she can already imagine the loss that happens after. She will also see that I am not (maybe just not yet) quick to find a solution to the newfound problem. I just expressed the feelings of loss from my perspective which she can now think about for herself.
I probably will just pause a bit after I said this but then start talking again about one of the fun discussion topics we were sharing. Here is the contrast. We both felt a bit of loss expecting that this is the last we will talk unless something more can happen.
Then right back to the fun energy we were just sharing so we both can compare the difference for a moment in our own minds. We are having a great time talking, yet after this moment is over, it will be gone forever.
I never have an exact order or formula since each situation has different aspects that guide what the next step should be, but maybe I would tell her about my Uncle Al’s perspective he shared when he was in the hospital his last time:
“Ya, when I visited him, he would be discussion a lot of the reflection he was doing about his own life. He knew the end was approaching and would talk through different parts of his life.”
“Al was a very successful guy, on his own terms. People thought he was most successful when he owned a restaurant yet his biggest love was horses. One day, he sold his restaurant, bought a few horses and started living his real dream in a real way. He went on for the rest of his life owning and racing the horses that everyone bet on at Suffolk Downs. As much of a dream catcher as he was, I learned one main thing from him as he talked about all parts of his life.”
She would usually ask what that was.
“In life, there is nothing we have done that we can regret. Even bad experiences had lessons in them that help guide our future steps to brighter places than would have been taken if we never learned the lesson, never had the ‘mistake’. The only thing we can regret are the things we wanted to do but didn’t yet. That changes my perspective in a lot of ways. The only difference between any dream and reality is a plan. If any single human being has reached a goal, that means any other person can also reach that same goal, by modeling the footsteps. I will never be a guy regretting what I shoulda, coulda, or woulda have done. I want to chase and catch every whim that hots me. I heard that as far as life goes, nobody does get out of it alive. We only get one.”
(callback to begin of passage in edit. elaborate and bring back to start topic)