Rather than coming in with a goal of success, I clearly stated that I wanted the opposite. Approaching a few girls I said:
“Hey could you guys blow us out. We have to get blown out.”
When they ask what it is. “Well we are going to get into some conversations & you can be totally rude or something.”
This definitely caught them by surprise and they were very warm for the conversation.
You see, enjoying the moments at hand rather than going in with one outcome desired to define your success to yourself, makes a huge difference in the tempo you set and the one they receive.
Go into these conversations just to enjoy them in the moments that they are, she will too enjoy this and that in itself will lead to results better coming along than if your dependency on a single outcome affects your felt energy.