Category Archives: Things to talk about

Sexy Conversations

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on April 22, 2012 1,259 comments

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There will be times when you are talking to a girl and there are issues that generate a deep rapport for you to share together. That can be good in all, but remember you just met this girl.

When it comes to people you have just met, a great way to connect is [private] establishing and maintaining more of a wide rapport,on many subjects. This is when you have many different subjects that you agree on. This is when you have many perspectives that you see eye to eye on. These are the types of people we end up meeting and feeling like we have known forever.

With all people many factors that started in our childhood never changed throughout our adulthood. We still do still operate on the award/punishment scales. Is she laughing at your jokes? It is time to reward her in some way. Show her you like this. Is she being offhandedly affectionate? There is another time to offhandedly reward her and indicate that you enjoy her.

When you first meet a girl, be it online or in person, as with much of the dynamic, you are going to have to use your first 90 seconds to be amazing, the ‘wow factor.’ Then and still she knows more about what you have to offer to the interaction, and about you as a person, you will have to take out 85 – 90% of the conversation space. (Remember girls hate silences, at first they are all uncomfortable).

As you to get to know each other then the scales seem to even out. My favorite place which you can discover as she tells you more about herself, is when she is taking up most of the talking time and you were just listening. I personally like to listen very much. I learned a lot about people in those places.

As I am listening I am making little notes in my head of topics to revisit and which ones she seems most passionate about that would be fun to talk about in more detail at a later time.

She starts out with such a small percentage because she is warming up to you and learning about your personality. Women are born social creatures. Much of this comes from learning about a person one is speaking with an identifying the points of rapport. She’s also learning which topics and styles seem to get her the most conversational reward as she shares her stories with you.

Guys who do not put this extra effort into a conversation with a girl they just met, I often see them letting it fizzle out and then walking away feeling like they were not liked. This definitely may not be the case and probably isn’t if you were trying to go 50/50 on the conversational talk time. Guys go on to think that a girl did not like them. This could be absolutely the opposite of the case, yet her natural womanly behaviors keep things this way until they are not, when she feels comfortable opening up more to you. I hate to hear guys are thinking that their opener was not clever enough.

The opener is nothing my friend. It is merely a spark to the fire of conversation, to get it going. It is the fire. It is what happens after that initial introduction that decides the connection between two people. (As a side note, I was recently talking to a check friend who made the point that our guy who would not be that hot in a photograph, once he gets her laughing he becomes pretty ‘smokin’.

It is what it is, but I hate to hear guys looking for that bonus prize, that ‘get me laid’ opening statement they can make to a woman. As with you, it takes something more than that which will just catch the attention, you need something that’ll hold her attention and build things up like never before. I hate to talk about these things like this so extreme, but once you’re in the essence of a moment those times will happen.

When it comes that first conversation I would suggest touching upon many different subjects. It is easy and very beneficial to keep changing the subject. You’ll see the ones that spark her up a bit. These you can amplify for a moment while noting in your head what they were. You can bring these to a high point then once you change the subject you can remember which topics to touch back upon.

By covering many different subjects throughout a first conversation you are feeling out which of the many topics you two can have rapport on and which subjects you can keep coming back to. Consistently changing topics rather than talking one to its dying day will keep you evidenced as the interesting guy you really are.

You really are. Think about it think about how many topics you do have interest in. Think about how many things really excite you. If you can briefly touch upon many of these it will do two wonderful things in an early conversation. It will show that you are a passionate guy because you keep talking about the numerous subjects you do get passionate about. Girls are very attracted to a passionate guy. Girls are very attracted to interesting guys with numerous subjects they have interest in.

Once your passion is revealed you will either see her shared passion in such therefore establishing a beginning rapport on the subject or she will just see yours. Even if she does not share the passion which you do she will admire your passion for it. Then once you have covered many topics and out of these found many that you BOTH share a passion about, you rapport is growing wide… across numerous topics. Here is how we find the type of people we can talk about anything with. I bet you can remember hearing of a girl talking about a guy she liked a lot. I bet that is exactly one thing she said about him (we could talk about anything.)

Now this is great, you can just keep talking and talking while switching and changing subjects. You just keep on talking making enough pauses to give her chances to respond. She may not, and you are not dependent on this but while doing this the second you see that something you are talking about happens to spark something in her you can clam up. Clam up so she has a chance to participate in this topic. Then you can help her to elaborate her points. You can ask for elaboration on details she mentions. While listening, it is nice to hold eye contact with a slight grin and nodding through her every word. This will tell her that you are paying good attention to her, intently listening and eager to hear her next passages. Doing this you can remain always ready to jump in and take over the conversation with points you heard and mentally bookmarked whenever needed.

As conversation is moving along you can cause new topics and ask for open-ended questions. I would suggest you commit to never asking any sort of ‘yes/no’ type of questions. With a little practice you can learn to make sure all of your questions are the open-ended type. The types that will inspire her to have long-winded answers are great. This whole time you can listen to her answer while mentally taking notes on details to ask her about.

Often girls will have to elaborate their answers to your creative questions. Other times girls may say something like: “Um… I don’t know.” This may happen because she really does not know an answer. Other times this may happen because she feels on the spot, she hasn’t gotten comfortable enough with you yet to open up and discuss things with you elaborately. Either way, you can clarify the question some.

This not only will give for a more detailed description of what you’re asking but also gives her a few moments to think about the answer to the first question you asked.

Sometimes girls need this. Whereas they might have felt to be put on the spot at first, while listening to you rephrase it they can be gathering an answer.

For example, to get to the core of our passions is often useful to look at our childhood. I may ask her something like: “Do you remember when you were a kid, what it was that you wanted to be when you grew up?”

Many times I find girls frequently do remember what this was. Maybe they love animals and wanted to be a veterinarian. Maybe they thought it would be cool if they were a nurse. If they tell me that they don’t remember I can give them an example of the type of answer I was looking for by giving them my own.

“Aw shucks (I say jokingly) that’s too bad. I find it can be pretty useful to figure out what we were thinking as kids to understand the core of our passions today. When I was in preschool, even before I could read, I still like to play as if I was reading books. The teacher’s aide told me I look like a lawyer so I was convinced her for some time that’s what I would be. I would go home and play mock trial with my parents either being a lawyer or being a judge. As I got older I never much wanted to be a lawyer but I do get a kick out of reading a lot and you find a strange fascination in the logic and reasoning that can be used in the courtroom.”

Now as I gave my reply I gave very much into it. I was very sincere and told her about things I would play when I was a child. Sometimes by showing example, putting that ‘Umph’ into the reply will be modeling to her what you expected. Then she might be more likely to give you a more passionate answer and think some more about her own childhood.

As you are doing those things in qualifying her, once she passes the little tests you have presented it is time to seize the moment. “Oh my God, you are so cool. How can we make sure we hang out again? This is a lot of fun.”

You can even seize the moment and reward her right away. “That is so awesome!” And then pulled her close to you to kiss her on the cheek. There is never a reason to waste time. Once you detect that moment at hand it is time to seize it. Many guys a lawful themselves out of the park because of too many worry statements were second-guesses. Girls live on a moment to moment basis. When the moment is high and you guys are sharing one they love it to be seized. It feels natural. It feels like a natural connection in the moment of that connection was seized by you both.

Practice talking about racy subjects. Sexual topic should be an easy, free-flowing type of conversation that falls easily from your lips. This is showing that sex is an easy-going topic for you. This will also show that you are somewhat of a seductive person and have plenty of experience with women. They like that. It shows a skilled lover and a man who has been qualified by many girls previously. This will indicate to her that since you have been pre-qualified by many girls before her, she is less work to do. This actually is way more of a weighted qualification because girls never truly know how to properly qualify a guy. They keep trying in many different ways to cover obvious bases but there have been plenty of times before when they have done that and it not work out as they had expected.

“I am not the kind of guy that would just take a girl that caught his attention home the first night and give her a night of pleasure and continuous orgasms. I am not that easy. I see you have real potential to hold my attention but you can at least buy me a few drinks first.”

Another great way to turn up the thermostat for the heat of your interaction is simply to talk about kissing. Let’s say you been talking for five or 10 minutes and felt some genuine rapport developing between the two of you at some point when you are close in proximity during the conversation you can just ask her: “If I were to kiss you, on a scale of 1-10, how do you think I’d rate your kiss?”

At this point not only will she be trying to take pride at a presumed high score, she’s going to imagine kissing you. It will cross her mind at this point in the image is likely to pop in every so often since she started. At this time, I myself, since I was thinking about it as well, might start alternating my gaze from her eyes to her lips every so often. It might be nice to imagine what those lips taste like at this point. Because I do love the woman’s eyes sometimes I find it hypnotic to triangulate my gaze upon her. That is if you alternate from eye to other eye to her lips, this can feel very sensual just making the gaze that way. She will probably notice this too and feel sensuality from your gaze. I remember sometimes while doing this, girls have done either offhanded or explicit moves to get this happening.

Offhandedly they may just move close or get their face closer to yours. Explicitly, yet much less common and seen a girl come right in to kiss me on the lips. A few times when they had done this it seemed like they were distracted for a second as they came in for the kiss and then went on with talking as if they just had to satisfy a sudden craving distraction.

Sometimes hints may work better than anything else. Let her mind play with what you stated but then move on. There is no need to make your coy statements and then stop speaking because you’re waiting for her reaction. “I have a bottle of whipped cream in the fridge. You should come home with me and help me finish it off. The bouncer here reminds me of Jim Gaffigan.”

If you do make a statement and sort of positive her reaction, watch her carefully. If you see in her face and/or body that she isn’t heated up enough for this yet, you can take it away. “We should go back to my place and massage oil onto each other skin. I just picked up this kind that smells and tastes like mangoes.” (but if you do see her face showing anything but eager anticipation…) “No, wait a second. You are pretty tall I don’t think I have enough for your body.”

You see, before you took it away you illustrated a nice semi-sexual picture of imagery and her brain. Women love the imagination since theirs does paint magical pictures. Even if she had a bit of hesitancy to your suggestion, don’t worry, the picture will stay for a while and it will flash back every so often.

As you know, any ‘No’ she says is simply ‘No’. That’s easy. She wont even say it unless it is real But when it comes to subtle hesitations things are different, so I hate to see guys interpreting the worst out of these. If she did find a place to express her minor hesitation, like anything else, it is all a joke until it’s taken seriously. Laugh it off. Laugh heartily and then change the subject. Women are very funny like this when you don’t need to take their comments in a moment to be much at all. Many times she has many rejections. It is to satisfy her need not to look like the stereotypical ‘slut’. Most girls seem to have a need to establish themselves away from the stereotype. I think by laughing it off and not taking it seriously or personally rather, shows the insignificance you find in the stereotype anyways.

This also shows that you take any rejection towards you as kind of a joke. Since girls usually fall into your arms and you understand she is saying what needs to be said to establish herself as a non-slut, all you can do is laugh it off. You heard it, you accept it, you allow her to establish what she needs to (as not having behaviors that would classify her as a ‘slut) but still not taking it too seriously or personally.

Most of the time, I find that girls need to get their protest to be ‘on the record’. Once this is said they feel a little freer to give in to their desires and go with their attraction. I see most often that girls do not want you to stop your pursuit based on this ‘technical rejection’. Now things can go along as you both want. This is why are found laughing it off to be the easiest acceptance of it. You accept the fact she wants her minor protest to be heard but nothing more since it wasn’t an outright ‘No’..

You don’t need to have a smooth transition into some of these things. It may take some practice but often being very comfortable in a major change in tempo of the conversation you’re having can be quite charming to a girl. This can show you have major balls, which is nice.If you have the comfort to adjust the tempo of a conversation from casual then easily slipping in a sexual innuendo shows you are very confident and comfortable with your sexuality. This is very attractive.

21st century has been seen to stifle many people’s free expression of the sexuality inside of them. You don’t have to be a part of that. Being very bold when you first approached her and then bolt throw your interaction shows you are not ‘just another average guy’. Keeping the tension up, and keeping her slightly intimidated is a sweet spot for you both. When you can introduce these dramatic tempo changes to the conversation it goes to reveal that you are person who you never know what to expect from him.

After laying out somewhat of a foundation of that, let me cover a part of the ‘rejection’ topic. There really is no such thing until the woman says “No” or something of that specific nature. This is another reason why I personally prefer open-ended questions and sometimes indicating my desired intents with a statement rather than a question. When you start getting into racy topics (and other topics actually) you will see that any lack of explicit rejection is actually acceptance.

In the case of yes/no questions think of it this way, if you were to say something like: “Do you want to…” and she feels she needs to say “no” to maintain her image as proper and that is what she’ll do. This being said, if you were to say something like: “Let’s go do this…” and she has no reply than she is for the suggestion. If she is specifically and directly not for the suggestion she will go ahead and say something along the lines of indicating that she doesn’t want to or she can’t or it’s not possible for some reason.

Remember that in many cases any lack of negation to your suggestion is a girl’s way of accepting it.
To make a suggestion without it being a yes/no question, you can say something like “We should go to my house to smoke hookah and get my cat to chase the laser pointer.” Or something like “We should go back to my place and watch my cat do back flips while you give me a massage.” If she says nothing then your suggestion has generally been accepted. You don’t have to consider her ‘not into it’ unless she says something like “No, that’s not a good idea” or another thing along those lines. The only other time I can think of she may indicate she is not into it if she is not his while you’re on the way were about to leave to then she may indicate it then. Otherwise she is all for it. As a standard, girls don’t normally say something like “Yeah let’s go do that.” They will go along with what they think may be fun until they don’t.

While you are having a great time enjoying each other’s company, you should just presume, as you would with any other friend that she is coming home with you. Don’t go in at all of these unspoken and unfounded expectations of negation where they’re not necessary. Do not make an issue of a non-issue.

Making these random comments with sexual undertones is a part of what I explained as foreplay and my detailed passages about sexy-time. Foreplay should not begin when you decide to get sexually intimate, as an ‘all of a sudden’ event. You should consistently be flirting and sprinkling in seductive comments throughout your conversation with a girl you have a sexual interest in. A girl’s imagination is a beautiful thing.

When our thoughts are brought to sexy places it can start her arousal and maintain it at mild levels way before any touching happens. Doing this consistently and steadily along with a slow teasing physical foreplay can bring the woman to unknown heights in their orgasm.

Girls do want a bold confident man. While many guys try to sneak their way in to an interaction with a girl with crafty, clever lines… if you just go in with your boldness this will make quite an impression in itself.

You can begin your flirting and sensuality and spoken foreplay from the very minute you say hi to a new girl. It is subtle yet this is revealing all your cards on the table in a way. Girls have been hit on since they hit puberty. There is no way for any guy to approach her with intensity in his mind and are not able to see through it. It is much easier if you just cut all of the bullshit. When I approach a girl it is no secret that she caught my attention. I am now talking with her to see what she is like, to see if she can hold my attention, to see if I want more of my time to be spent with this girl. When a guy comes up to a girl unafraid of any ‘risk of rejection’ or what have you, then all of a sudden she sees a shinier apple presented to her.

I have found it to be perfectly fine and very well accepted to have my intentions obvious. It seems like some guys are trying to sneak their way into a girl’s attention and coerce her to the bedroom without her realizing what’s going on. This does not happen, this is not seduction. Recently while at a mall with a friend of mine we decided to go into Spencer gifts. As you’re walking and my friend was telling me that the store now had quite an extensive sex toy selection.

While walking in I saw it was a cute girl was working the register that day so my first sentence to her was: “My friend tells me that this is a sex toy shop nowadays. Is that true?” With this little piece of information I was able to start our conversation on a somewhat sexual level. When she tells me the story is as I suspected I ask her to show me her collection. As we get over to the section of the store I tell her that I was curious about vibrators. I then asked her to tell me which is the best or which is the most popular. She goes on to show me the first model that she thought of. I will not ask her questions of the reasons it was supposedly better than the rest. While she was explaining its features I simply gazed upon her. I looked into her eyes, enjoyed gazing upon her face and neck and listening to the sexual topic she was describing and the sensual way she was describing it.

As she was explaining the features of this first vibrator I went on to ask her:”Does the nice sounding features of this vibrator cause a woman to lose the novelty, enjoyment of the real thing, of a real penis?” With utter sincerity, she went on to tell me with a very sophisticated sounding know-how that this absolutely was not true. “From my perspective, and understanding both, although this is very nice there is nothing like a real penis. There is nothing like skin on skin.”
She was getting very sexy and describing this and seemed to want to prolong the conversation so she went and picked up a second model and describe its features. I merely listened and enjoyed the sensuality I was watching come into her as she described the sexual nature of these devices.

A girl enjoys a bold and confident man who has no qualms about touching upon the subjects because then again, by doing this you show her that the subjects are absolutely acceptable in conversations between the two of you. She will know now that she can freely express how she feels about such topics. Forget any ‘risk’ of possible rejection you are thinking. I think you should embrace and dance with these risky topics to get yourself comfortable with them and indicate to her that you are comfortable with her talking of them. Women love sex more than we men do. Once she feels she has established herself past the anti-slut protocol, and these topics have a perfect comfort ability as when shared with you, she will feel like she can enjoy you and her own sexual experience without being (looked down upon.)

I hear and see many guys who think that the minor rejections are something they earned. In essence that is really not the case. You see, women have these built-in automatic rejections to hand out to the general male crowd. Girls want to ensure they have high standards for which man they get with. If they can toss out a simple easy rejection to their approach and he drops the issue, then that was easy. She now filtered through and eliminated a weak sort of man. Girls have the negation to incoming males built-in is an automatic. They have been pursued and approached by men since puberty. Guys have whistled at them from driving by, guys have ‘Cat-Called’ them from the construction site and guys have ogled them on the beach since they grew boobies.

Get over the pride. Hearing these minor statements of rejection is really nothing. If you are subtly and not so subtly indicating your intent, you will see a few things. She will begin thinking about and imagining what sexy-time with you is like. She will see you are bold and candid and comfortable enough to be taking things all the way. And finally, somewhat based on her reaction, you’ll be able to see how much attraction has been built so you can gauge and decide your current actions with this girl and/or future actions with future prospects.

I told you that women are very much on the moment to moment basis and testing you. Personally I think of up several times I’ve stated a firm opinion on one side of the subject. The girl I was speaking with that expressed the opposite side of the same subject. I quickly acknowledged (not discrediting her point) but then went on to further illustrate the reasons why I feel the way I do. I’ve seen more than one case where a girls next comments will be those on the side of the issue that I originally expressed. seems they just throw these things out there to see the resiliance of a potential male in their world.

Life is funny, enjoy it. It is all a joke until it’s taken seriously and only take the part seriously which you wish to be a part of your world. What points a girl makes that you do take seriously is another reward in conversation that will inspire them to grow. Reward the ones that you like to have as a part of your world.

Since the best punishment from childhood on is merely ignoring, ignore all of those that you disagree with. You are merely paying attention to the ones you like therefore showing there a reason to elaborate those points. If she is getting no attention or acknowledgment about the points you don’t like she is very much less likely to elaborate on those. On the ping-pong table she got no pong to her ping.

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To get in the zone

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on April 20, 2012 1,189 comments

Ok, I am not trying to over blow my own horn…This is just some of the stuff that goes through my head, getting me into a very fun[private] state. I started out by pushing those ideas in there, then they came habitually, but then the differences can be seen sometimes.

Look at these & trade my name for yours, see what happens to your state

As when C.J. steps into any venue, he is welcomed with the word “unstoppable.” in his thoughts. This rings through his mind as soon as he sees that he is in an environment to be interacting with women.

This word keeps flashing through his thought board: (unstoppable.) This excites him with that: ‘full of life’ juice. He now knows there is no obstacle that can get between him and the goal that he loves the most: fun with women.

He remembers that when he walks into a party, he always projects and ultra fun aura. “Now that he is on the scene, the good times can really start. (Uh oh, did he bring water balloons again?)“

“Where ever I am is the place to be. If nothing else: being in my favorite place seems to be contagious to who I am with.”

“You never know what adventure will be chased when hanging out with a CJ,” some one once told him.

“The world is mine to enjoy.” Since considering that any situation that he is part of the vibe, that is his whole world for the moment I am in it..

This love interaction is merely an ongoing session of batting practice. We are constantly interacting with women on a daily, and ‘throughout the day’ perspective in a positive and self affirming way, it is all preparation.

This is warming up.. so when the great girl comes along he is ready to hit that home run. Flirting with the girl who waits on him at the diner, receptionist, bank tellers… with every female he interacts with. Even the old lady at the grocery store*, he’s being so charming, polite, and establishing a momentary connection. Even and especially if he is not romantically interested in her — and in many cases he will not be — he does take the time to introduce himself and say something to make her smile. Maybe he makes her laugh. Her day will continue slightly better than if she never met him
(*have found that playful interactions with children and old people, not only is a whole lot of fun, but seems to catch the attention of nearby HBs)

He also is distinguishing himself from ever every other guy she comes across.

If the waitress serves 100 customers in out day, it is him that she seems to remember next time he comes in. He asked her name, took time to chat with her about her day, and referred her name several times through the conversation. Enjoying the ways to be leaving a positive impression on every female he encounters. It’s amazing what a positive impression you can make simply by introducing yourself, expressing sincere interest in how her day has been going and paying her observation compliments.

When you put forth this positive energy, this is exactly what comes back to you on return. When you are charming and polite to waitress, she is going to give you the best possible service she can think of. Take those fun moments to establish a little connection with the pretty bartender and she will be the one to keep an eye out for you when you need a refill.

He starts out with the understanding. Imagining if every single one of them has a pleasant opinion of him & has heard all the fun stories. As he interacts and this fun comes through, unspokenly, She will be more likely remembering his name next time he visits and will be obviously willing to go the extra mile to help him out, he sees.

When you are constantly eliciting positive reactions from women it does great things to boost your inter-state, your ego and your confidence. And it always seems easy when you are socially lubricated, say, when you’re warmed up. You feel good about your game and always in a constant state of readiness at a moments notice. Keeping this habit regular allows you to be operating at your peak level when the unbelievable bombshell crosses your path.

You have been having friendly interactions with many women throughout the day so, instead of being anxious about talking to the gorgeous bunny just walking in the room, everything just comes naturally. You’ve been in the habit and momentum of regular practice your attitude becomes more relaxed, confident and she’ll pick up on the attitude which will also distinguish you from all the aggressive and over obnoxious men she encounters.

Also by consistently doing this, you are acquiring new knowledge about women in general. Striking up many conversations throughout the day and keeping your detail attention on… you will learn so much about what interests them and as things that bother them. You see patterns and start to form an ‘in general’ field in you mind about women, which is nice. Rapport seems easier to establish as this grows in you.

I’m not so much talking about gaming the hired guns but think of this: When you go out to shop for clothes and the sales girl asks if you need any help, most guys have no intention of meeting people. Some may figure she has other things to attend to …so he just says ‘no thanks’ and moves along (I see this in my people watching.) But this is part of what makes her happy for her day: having interesting and fun people to be of help to.

Moving into the situation is fun with acknowledging her, giving her your friendly smile and just tell her: “right now just browsing the stacks.”

Maybe you compliment her on a positive aspect of her appearance, namely something she is wearing or has done to it to catches attention. That’s the attention she put it there for. “That’s a really nice necklace you’re wearing. You mind if I ask where got it?” It could be anything that shows an interest is taken into how she looks. A pair of earrings, a matching outfit, or unique quality about her shoes. It doesn’t really matter… just to isolate one aspect of her appearance (that she worked on) and flatter about it. As a girl she will be more than happy to tell you where she discovered her ‘key find’ and this is a nice piece to file away for possible future reference.

Ok, Let’s say she bought it during a vacation in Puerto Rico. Now you have a little key point to reference during a future conversation with a woman. “That’s a nice necklace you’re wearing. I was talking to this girl he other day, and she had this cool necklace that she bought Puerto Rico.” Shows you are easygoing with women, and women travelers, which somewhat indicates qualities you have yourself or ones you like in others.

You could have just as easily complement to the sales girl on her hairstyle and said something like: “I really like your hair. A female friend who just moved to town is looking for a good hair salon.” If nothing else it is going to get the sales girl talking, which I think is very valuable skill to have. Learn how to get them talking and keep them furthering their points, show your sincere interest… as you are paying attention to detail she mentions and filing away possible fun-facts for later.

Without any “hired – gun’’ agenda, you will see how this takes a boatload of stress and/or pressure out of the interaction. You are just out shopping and making pleasant conversation with a girl who works there. So what if she is cute. Maybe you will want to take the conversation further and ask about cool shirts or jeans for men. This is part of her job and she will have fun showing you the latest fashions. Another great way to get tips in this area of your life.

It is so easy to be casual, this encounters completely innocent without some of stresses/expectations that want to attach itself to obvious pickup. You are not trying to pick her up, just reminding yourself you’re only lubricating your social gears. If you happen to feel like you really have a chemistry and want to see her again you can always ask for her phone number too.

By keeping this practice active, it all builds upon itself. Once a part of your daily routine, you become so comfortable around women and talking to a woman even for the first time in a day, it becomes something like second nature.

You will end up making great friends this way, and these are the ones who if you pay attention carefully enough, will indicate all the inside tips about girls you been looking for.

When I hear of guys having their ‘score count’ to be a priority, always looking for an SNL or a quick hook up, I know the strikeout ratio is higher on that level. This sort of approach with such a bad ratio of attempts to successes …does seem like it’s going to have a large effect on your self-confidence and inner game. Since the success rate ratio would be the factor having a bad effect, this will cause you to become more desperate for success, maybe becoming seemingly more needy.

On the other hand, by keeping regular chitchat with girls to be part of your habits, when the killer pitch comes your way, you will be ready to hit it out of the park.

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I notice in our conversation

…that she is more traveled than I am.

I can also see that my enthusiasm for the places I have been does more than [private]…even out the playing field.

“Oh my god! Costa Rica was like a picture perfect paradise you see in picture books. There were monkeys pulling candy wrappers out of the trash and a two foot tall brightly colored parrot in the tree nearby the picnic table we were sitting at..

The people were So friendly. As soon as they hear you trying a few Spanish phrases they make every effort with any English they know. I remember on more than one occasion, when I was asking directions, the people would walk with me most of the way to be able to point out the last stretch of the directions..

There were volcanoes spitting lava over the bay, waterfalls in every neighborhood we visited, and palm trees to coconuts wherever the could see.

The sunset over the bay stuck so hard in my mind, I had to paint what I remembered of it a few years later. It was an ever changing rainbow of opaly colors, shimmering on the water for the whole time we were eating dinner across the street from the beach…”

No matter what they are, facts can be boring. Enthusiasm and colorful pictures painted with your words can be very alluring and the enthusiasm is contagious. When I tell those stories I hear “I wish I was there” all the time.

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Think of when a girl is throwing a test at you.

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on March 31, 2012 722 comments

You can treat it as a joke or that you know she must be joking to be worrying about such trivial matters. To achieve the joke, the idea is to build suspense, then mix the serious with the ridiculous.

For example, on a first date she asks: “How long has been since you been on a date?”[private]

Hearing this, I pause & look very serious. “Well, does my mom count? …because she escorted me to the Halloween ball in the third grade.” [/private]

Captivate them with your Story

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on March 30, 2012 290 comments

People love a great story teller! A well told story can captivate someone to experience EVERYTHING as it is told as if they are actually having the experience themselves.

You will find those around you drawn in when you ensure all the basic elements are in place for a well told story.
[private]
1. Every story must have a purpose and should be fitting for the occasion.

2. A good story is fun to tell and fun to hear.

3. The story should have humor and be able to create laughter from the listeners.

4. Consider what you want your listeners to think and feel. Illustrate the events in a way that will induce those feelings.

5. Be animated in your movements.

6. Some exaggeration can be fun, but keep yourself credible.

“Compliment the beautiful on their intelligence, and the intelligent on their beauty.”
-Casanova[/private]

Yes it is very valuable and very useful (body language)

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on March 29, 2012 1,288 comments

once you have the parts after the conversation is going to be getting you the best results. Then relying on body language for invites to open [private]and more is great.

From what you tell me and what I have seen in you, you have some things to work on before all of that. You need to have some of the in-between details covered so when that dream girl crosses you path, you have everything covered to capture and hold her interest.

By opening girl upon girl without any signal, that is going to keep reducing your anxiety until you are continuously finding yourself in the middle of conversations when you see it was so natural to get in them, you didn’t think twice.

This will also drop your conscious or unconscious desire for a specific outcome to happen in any interaction (they like you, you get a number, you get a date, whatever) which is detected in girls. They are very attracted to a man who they know can take or leave their company so easily since there is another girl waiting to be opened, waiting to enjoy your company.

Having those things so natural changes things in a man. Rather than settle for a girl that will spend time with him, he can have a clear picture of what he wants in a girl he spends the most time with and have exactly that. A man who has his relationships by choice because of who the people are, rather than chance because the work together or will settle, will see every other aspect in his life flourish in many ways.

If you look at the Pyramid of Maslow, the two steps before ‘Self-Actualization’ are in regards to the people in the life of a man. Once those basis are covered and covered well, the top step can have its refinement.

There are always parts throughout the processes that seem like hard work, but I can promise that the reward way-outweighs this work in a million ways.

To keep extinguishing that anxiety you told me of, I want you make a commitment to yourself. You told me you could open groups much better when you were directed or told to.

Throughout your days, you are all around the areas. I want you to start a conversation with 5 new people every day. It does not matter if the conversations last, this need no outcome at all, just the first steps. You can ask directions, ask the time, compliment somebody’s accessories, whatever.

If a conversation flourishes from this, then fantastic. If not, you have made your starting move and have succeed. You can track them in your phone’s memo pad, or write an email to yourself, or jot them down in a piece of paper. For each number, have at least one point about the person that will remind you of the conversation.

Depending on what you do though a day, if you don’t pass 5 new people in a day, go to the mall, the train station, or a place with a bunch of people and make sure your 5 is done.

To make sure you are accountable, then you can shoot me a quick email, with 1-5 listed and a point about each one. That is just to start creating a habit for yourself but we can also use those lists later to bring up points in conversations that you were involved in, to understand the pros and the cons of them.[/private]

http://www.meetup.com/FREE-Dating-Coaching/photos/all_photos/?photoAlbumId=2657901

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on January 7, 2012 147 comments

Baby step comments to hint for the number

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on December 29, 2011 186 comments

I do something with the first people I see for the day to begin my social momentum for the day. As I was getting closer to the bus stop, I saw two girls. One was facing my direction and the other was facing the first girl, away from me. As I got up to the stop, I simply smiled and said “Hello” to the girl facing me.

“Hello” said the one facing me as her friend turned around to see who she was saying hi to. When the second girl turned, [private] she said “Hi” as well, to which I smiled. As I said, I was just greeting the girls to begin the social momentum for the day. There was nothing striking about them, so I just greeted them and left it at that.

As I got on the bus I could see three seats in a row, each with a girl sitting on the inside seat, leaving the outside one open. A quick scan had me take the seat with the cutest of the three, whom I sat next to.

She was wearing headphones, so I waited a few moments then I turned to her, smiled and asked if she knew which stop it was that the Pru was on (yes I knew this, but I was using the situational questions to feel her out). She explained the stop was Copley so I thanked her, gazed at her face for a moment and smiled. She put her earphones back on and went back to her music. I waited a few more beats of time to go by and I turned to her again.

“What color train is that stop on?” I asked her. She told me ‘green’ then asked me if I was new in town. When a girl asks any question about me, it is a signal of curiosity to know more about me and keep the conversation going.

So I went into my elaborate story of how I am from this area, yet I travel so much. I tell her of my last trip to Puerto Rico lasting 7 months longer than I first thought I would stay, then I went on to tell her about the beauty of the place, the friendliness of the people, the tropical animals and my practice in real-life Spanish.

I talked about the food there, and our conversation transitioned to trading stories about different ethnic restaurants in town. She described a Colombian restaurant she liked (which I noted in my head) and I told her how I love to meet up with friends at different spots to split appetizers. This was about 10 minutes since I first spoke to her.

Our conversation was flowing smoothly, back and forth. I could detect her interest in me and I thought she was cool to talk to. I gauged how many stops were left before I’d have to get off and I said to her: “You seem like you have a really cool energy, it’s a shame we can only enjoy each other’s company for the length of this bus ride.” She expressed agreement in smiles and nodding and small comments. I paused to let it sink in; I even looked away for a moment in thought.

Then I turned back to her. “I wonder what steps we’d need to take to pick this conversation up another time” and I let it sink in while she thought of ways two people could connect later. Trade info, exchange numbers, etc.

Then as if I was hit with a discovery I said. “Ya, we should definitely trade info so we can talk again another time” as I pulled out my cell phone. It never seems awkward when I take baby steps to this type of suggestion, just like the expected normal thing to happen next. I have found that by signaling my way up to the number seemed to be easily accepted and replied well to. It wasn’t an all-of-a-sudden: ‘Let me get your number’ out of nowhere in the conversation. I showed where I was going as if it was the natural next step. I also take the asking for anything out of the picture. I don’t ask for numbers, I suggest we trade information. More even exchange, less pressure.

My favorite part when I do things this way is when I start to suggest, sometimes the girl will have the idea: “Oh ya, give me your number.” Or whatever. This seems to drop the flake factor and have her more invested into waiting for/getting my call too. Not all girls do this, they still are humble feminine creatures but it is cool when they do, usually the outgoing ones.

So I pull out my phone to her.

“What is it?” I asked with my cell phone in hand as I selected ‘new contact’ on my phone.

“Jenna.” She told me.

“No your number. I have to punch that in first, then I can put your name to it.” I said. We hadn’t even traded names yet.

She told me her number; I punched it in and put ‘Jenna’ in the name section. “Ok, I will send you a text right now with my name in it so you can save the number. I’m C.J.” and I sent her a text right then. I could see my call coming through, now knowing it is a real number she gave (we had clicked pretty well so I had no reason to think it wouldn’t be but it is a habit) and she saved the number with my name to it.

We kept chatting and she subtly mentioned her brother & his speaking English. “Where is your family from?” I asked. Even when girls make small subtle points, they are stepping stones for more information, further conversation, getting to know each other better.

“Nicaragua.” She said.

“No kidding, como estas?” I had to ask, practicing my Spanish once again. “You can be my Spanish practice buddy.” (I do usually hint at girls getting stuck in my friend-zone if they don’t play their cards right. Here is another frame that I found by owning it first, I never get stuck in.)

She then told me she was riding the green line too and would be coming with me since her stop was one after mine. We boarded the train, chatting for the ride, when I got to my stop, I took her arm for a small squeeze and told her I would talk to her later.

To keep whatever emotional high she was in from meeting me, I sent her a text about an hour later: “Hey Jenna, now I am all curious about the Colombian place you told me of. We’ll have to go split appetizers when we both have time free. C.J.”

…and 20 minutes later I get her text back: “Definitely! =)”

[/private]

Quote this movie:

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on December 26, 2011 1 comment

“It doesn’t have to make sense, it’s just something that happens, it’s like seeing someone for the first time,[private] you could be passing on the street and you look at each other for a few seconds and there is a recognition you both know something. Then they’re gone and it’s too late to do anything about it and you always remember it because it was there and you let it go, and you tell yourself what if I had stopped, what if I had said something, what if…it may only happen a few times in your life” [/private]doesn’t have to make sense

When a girls asks “What do you do?”

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on December 5, 2011 No comments

There is no reason to show off. The most successful people with the greatest achievements talk about them like they are very insignificant.

I have heard different guys’ response to a girl’s questions of “What do you do?” go into a very dramatic long, detailed answer where he thinks he is being subtle about how cool he is, or how prestigious his job is, or how smart he is to have gotten there or how wealthy he is because he did.

This looks very insecure and women are masters at seeing through this type of thing.

Usually with a qualifying type question like that, I am [private]flattered that she is interested enough at this point to want to know more but I still give her a teasing/joking (Obviously BS) answer and spin it back to her, have her qualifying herself to me. “Ya, I have finished school for it and now I am working by scraping the gum off the bottom of seats at movie theaters. Very demanding nowadays…What do you do?”

Or I may tell her “I jump out of cakes at birthday parties.” Or “I am a disposable lighter repairman. 4 years of schooling finally paid off. “

Usually the girl laughs or chuckles to my joke, then goes on to tell me seriously about her career paths. Now this has the momentum generated of her qualifying herself to me, working to win my approval.

When I do get to what I do for work, rather than tell her what it is, I explain to her all the reasons I love what I do. I’ll talk about how I got into it, and how it fulfills me very much. “When I was a kid my dad told me to think of something that I would do all day/every day for nothing. Once I could earn a living doing that, I am successful. At this point, I am as close to that as I can imagine, and the direction I am in, what I have planned gets even better.”

Even as she asks me for details I stay very vague at this point. I spend the time talking about the fulfillment it gives me to help people to their successes, or examples of why I love what I do.

[/private]

Once attraction is detected…

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on December 3, 2011 1,336 comments

I tell her: “You know what? I’m gonna make you my girlfriend for the next 5 Minutes, I hope you won’t stalk me when we break up. ”

Then I start the plot line for our little shared imagination movie: “Since we only have 5 minutes, we need to [private]make this really good, ok? Good. So girlfriend, how’s your mom? Tell her I said thanks for the birthday gift, but it really didn’t fit. No, don’t tell her that part, I loved it!” as I am laughing with her since it so silly.

To re-engage the scenario, I pick it back up in a few minutes: “Hey girlfriend, I have something to tell you: I’ve been cheating on you…with your best friend.”

She was mockingly defensive: “Oh no! How could you?” and playing along.

“I’m really sorry girlfriend (I continue to call her: “girlfriend” too, not her name. It was fun to stay in character, even if sometimes I used a gay voice to say it. )

“I couldn’t help myself.” I continued “I’m just really sexual… you know that!” as we played charade kiss & make up scenes, to keep the goofiness going. [/private]

“Las Vegas is the Disney World for Boys who become Men with a better taste of the REAL Pleasures in Life.”

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on October 24, 2011 1,398 comments

Event Details

Men,

Las Vegas is the world’s adult Disney World. So image being there with a Dating coach guiding you along…scratch that, Image being there with 3-4 coaches!

There is a mansion in Vegas that is creating a buzz in this Seduction “Community”. Yes I said Mansion, 5 bedrooms and baths, fireplaces…yes more than one, POOL! and more!

“Hey hunny, great talking to you, you should come to the after party, AT OUR HOUSE, with a POOL, and Jacuzzi!!” ~C.J. “The Siege” to girls at team pull with JerseyBoy in LA.

Read that quote over again.

Now remeber it. Once you are rolling along in conversation with some new girls, drop that into conversation to see some girl’s eyes light up!

The from there all you have to do is work out logistics to move you all back to the Place wwhen sexy fun is abbout to ahppen.

You see, Siege is there with a single fun outcome in mind that will prioritize the others throughout what is going on. Sure He’ll be enjoying the rest ov=f Vegas, with a particular radar on.

And ALSO rememer, what he is looking to have he gets so once one girl in the group is making out, that feeling transfers to the girl you are talking to with him as your wing.

Then she want’s to making out, this increasing your ability to escalate with her ENPORMOUSLY!!

Then once back to the pad, the girl you are talking to hears/sees sexy time going on with C.J. and his girl. She too want to be having sexy-time since the mere thought of hearing her friend enjoying the pleasures she wants, willl raise her buying temperature like you’d never believe…that is unless you have singed up foro the Vegas Event

This is not your everyday meet-up or weekend boot camp, you and the coaches DO NOT part ways for hours after the outing to your respective hotel rooms. You get a text from a girl after the night is done, there is a coach right there ready to help!

This is a project house weekend in the city that parties 24/7! on Halloween weekend no less!

This isn’t just locals, this is everyone from every where, flying/driving in to party and be naughty!

Guys this is a chance to get out and broaden your horizons! Travel and bring home stories to your friends and even women in your home town. SO when she asks have you traveled your response can be something other than “Yes with my mom and dad, to Disney world, when i was FIVE!

The problem in this are of self-improvement is that there is too many who want to read material for days or months on end and never strp out of their home or their OR their comfort zone then go out with others who do that same thing, and it ends up being “The Blind leading the Blind”

Lets put a stop to that and hit Vegas with coaches and make some memories to last a life time!

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Vegas recommendations
There is some people on this forum heading to Vegas, so I thought I’d put in my recommendations and what I’ve learned:

1. Girls at tables won’t talk to you that much.

Well, if it’s tables like Craps or Roulette, they got time to talk after their turn, or during their turn, but when it comes down to card games, they would prefer not to talk, but think up ways on how to win. You can make quick and witty comments to grab her attention then pull her to a different table, but conversation wise, no- they will not talk to you.

2. Girls are easier at the slot machines.

Slot machines are designed so you can take your time with them. There is no pressure or rush to do anything. So they can stop whatever they are doing and talk to you, or play and talk at the same time.

3. Pull them from different parts of the casino.

The casinos have a lot of things to look at, and places to be. Such as bars, clubs, slot machines, tables, or even watching a game together. Pull them to different areas to create small intimate moments that you can expand on later.

4. Pull them to different casinos.

It’s like making small intimate moments inside the casino, you are now making a larger memory to help raise the attraction and comfort. Also, there is open liquor laws in Vegas. Share a drink outside by bridge that connects the Excaliber to the NYC Hotel, or watch the pirate show at the Treasure Island hotel for free.

5. Shopping Malls inside the casino and the Vegas Strip are awesome places to meet women too.

It’s like Day GSF, except you can pull them into the bedroom without leaving your hotel/casino (well, depending on where you are. I recommend Ceasars Palace. A lot of high class and beautiful girls there.)

6. Wednesday night (or was it Thursday?) at the Planet Hollywood Hotel/casino

Strippers on poles and half naked women everywhere. What’s not to enjoy?

7. Vegas has the best strip clubs in America

JUST DO IT

8. The Vegas Effect

Remember, no one REALLY lives in Vegas…and tourists are always more prone for one night stands as opposed to local natives. Why? Because it’s exciting, daring, and fun.

9. Don’t forget the 4 questions to SNL

This actually works a lot better there, I found.

10. Eat your vegetables…

Nothing is more sexy than a man who loves his vegetables.

AND HERE IS YOUR BONUS:

11. If you’re looking for drugs, late night, on the bridge the connects the NYC Hotel and the Excaliber. Dealers usually hang out there.

Overall, guys, have fun. If you’re looking for any other fun places to check out while you’re there, I visited about all the casino’s, so I know where to go.

-DSmoothMike, Assist. to Dating Coach
D as in “Damn” Smooth as in “Butter” Mike as in “The Filippino lover!”

From a lawyer to a stripper in one night

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on August 14, 2011 342 comments

“You won’t believe what I have in store for you!” I told her.

So once again I see the reason it’s great to maintain some contact with a girl I’ve met that I liked but didn’t go [private]very far at first. It was approx 2 years ago or so I went to a Halloween party with a chick friend of mine who also did improv at the Improv Asylum when I did.

At the party, I was introduced to a bunch of cool new people and even traded numbers with some to stay connected. I was dressed as a woman that year, so the chicks seemed to love teasing me in ways that guys tease chicks or objectify them in a playful way.

There was even more than one occasion through the night where I found it necessary to say “Hey! I am more than just a piece of meat for you to enjoy. I have deep feelings and you have to respect me for those.” Totally joking in the moment, of course, and some chicks would take it even further, continuing the thread in a way I liked. When girls grabbed my stuffed boobs I would grab their real ones in response. They just laughed.

They would have playful comments to say I was just a piece of meat or their toy for the night (which I didn’t mind at all). One girl, let’s say Anna, was acting pretty frisky and even was trying to exert some playful dominance on me. To re-remind her of the man inside the costume, I simply picked her up, her back over one of my arms, her legs draped across the other, the way a parent would carry an infant or a groom would carry his bride across the threshold of the motel room. Somebody snapped a photo of this.

Days later, several of us found & friended each other on facebook and she saw this photo so she tagged herself. We commented here & there on each other posts every once in a while, nothing too constant just little hellos.

It wasn’t until a week or two ago I posted a comment “My dance moves are ok, but show me a stripper pole & I really come alive.”

It was my joke. People could take it how they wanted but I wrote it as two unrelated concepts. I could dance ok, but if I was watching a stripper pole with a stripper on it, I would come ‘alive’, so to speak.

She simply commented “Dude, me too!” to which I went to her FB page and wrote: “I hear a dance-off starting to form. You have no idea what sort of competition you’re up against.”

She commented to my post, saying: “Stiff, no doubt.”

Thank you very much Ms. Anna, for starting the sexual undertoned comments. This is my favorite place to be, inspiring these type of comments in girls with my subtlety, then continuing the ping-pong effect.

Soon after, I then had a post on my own page from a magazine article I recently read that said that Boston had the 3rd highest IQ average in the nation. She went & asked what the first two were. They were Raleigh NC and something else, but I saw her question as a set up for a cocky joke on my part.

“What were the first two?” She asked.

“Brighton and Brighton again, both first and second place.” I replied, since Brighton is my neighborhood I wanted to subtly indicate in a joke that I was responsible for the high IQ here.

She went on to agree, then said “Coincidence? I think not…I mean assuming Allston is part of Brighton…”

With: “Coincidence? I think not…” I could see she got my joke. Once she said: “assuming Allston is a part of Brighton…” I saw that she got my joke, and if she was living in Allston, then she was installing herself into the joke, playing along at my level. I read enough interest in this to take it to the next tiny step up. I sent her a private message.

“I had no idea that we’re practically neighbors. If you weren’t such a mischief maker, I’d think we should do coffee or split appetizers & catch up n’stuff…”

In this, I acknowledged her ‘ping’ of letting me know she lived near me with my ‘pong’ of the “neighbors” in the message to let her know I got the idea. I then was suggesting we should hang out soon with a disqualifier of: “If you weren’t such a mischief maker…”

I already could read into our ping-pong comments that she wanted to hang out. By expressing a small reason why we should not, she instantly tries to overcome it. This generates a tiny bit more attraction with a sleight indication (‘we want more what we cannot have’) and is a good place to begin the momentum of a girl in pursuit of a guy, not the other way around.

So the next ‘ping’ reply she gave me was: “Precisely why we should. Mischief loves company. Or something like that…” Which is great. Rather than me asking her if she wants to hang out, I tell her a tiny silly reason why we should not, and she is the first one to actually say that we should hang out. She could guess that mischief was something I like in a girl, so she is guessing at a way to qualify herself to me, and agreeing with the sexual undertones it carries.

Now that she is the one suggesting we hang out, I can play some more with her. I tell her this: “Ok. Maybe that makes sense if we warn the other neighbors first, just in case. Do you text?”

I still indicate the “Maybe” letting her know she hasn’t won my total approval of the idea yet, keeping her working. “Warning the neighbors” was to continue the mischief theme but in the subtext. I saw I had her number from a time back that I never followed up on, I I wanted to keep her invested in this thread’s momentum so I just asked if she texts.

“Of course. Doesn’t everyone? I have no use for the phone other than texting & email & cool games & stuff.” And signed with a nickname I didn’t previously know of hers and her number. By telling me the nickname, she indicated to me a bit more rapport, so from that time on, I called her that to continue it.

I then shot her a text with my phone. “Although I don’t know what I’m getting into with you. Here is my #. ~C.J.”

Then began the texting banter. She must have been in rhyming mood, because she mentioned something about our names rhyming. That rhyme made me think of an improv game I working to be played at the improv group I regularly am a part of. I told her of it, that is was a scene with a bartender whose customer had a problem that he came in and sang about. The bartender would sing his advice, and they both had to rhyme with each other. So I told her to come to improv.

Then she asks me if they serve drinks at the venue the improv is at. I tell her they don’t but we usually go to Unos for drinks and snacks.

She shows up and participates in the improv some, which is good since I bet she thought it was just a show. When it came time to go to Unos she came right along.

At Unos, I directed her to the corner seat in the booth, then I sat next to her (not across table from her) so I could be in close touching distance. When we were talking it was easy to put my hand on her leg for a moment when I was making a point, or to be touching her regularly throughout the conversation. It was easy to be bouncing from conversation with her, which I kept at a closer face to face distance, to the conversations going around the table with my other friends. Since I saw her look to my lips a few times when we were talking so close, I just leaned in & kissed her to which she kissed back and giggled a little.

We traded stories, I told her of my lifecoaching/dreamcatching gig and she tells me that she had an unfulfilled dream.

“What is it?” I ask

“I want to strip.”

I had to tell her my joke that is true: “When I was a kid, my dad was a firefighter so I always wanted a firefighter pole in may house. Since I have grown up, I settled for a stripper pole to be at my house.

After that the easy kisses just came every so often, so I asked her if she drove that night. She told me that she does drive, but took the T since to avoid the parking. I then told her I would have hit her up for a lift home if she had her car. She started telling me of taking the T back together since both of our areas are on the same color line. Then she cut herself off and suggested we split a cab since we live relatively close with each other. I agreed and conversations of other topics came in and out.

When I stepped out to smoke a butt, an adjustment to the dynamic came to me. Different friends that were there had given me a ride home before. When I got back inside I said to Anna “Sometimes my friend gives me a lift back to my place, I wonder if it would be cheaper for you to take a cab back from my place.”

Her first reply was “Couldn’t he just give me a ride back to my place too?”

I had already though of the possibility of her thinking this so I told her. “It is much easier for me to ask for a ride for you & me back to my place than also be asking for a ride for you, a person they just met first time tonight to a whole other place…taking more time.” It was unspoken, but there is a sleight indication that by asking for this extra favor might have less of a change of being favorably granted.

Girls are great at thinking of all the possibilities in a social situation. If she was to put all the possibilities on the table then it would compare. She may like me to be splitting a cab with her, spending a little more time together. I thought of that, but it wouldn’t be as smooth to get her back to my place in those circumstances. If she denied the suggestion, I may just tell her to take the T back and I will get a ride from my friend. Of course I don’t know for sure, but I bet she considered that last possibility. She agreed that a cab back from my place would make the most sense.

Most of the ride, while she was in the back I spent most of the time during the ride, talking to my friend, making small points to her. So during the ride back, as we passed a road that a turn would lead to her place, she mentioned it this way: “Left” quietly in a playful tone. Although I didn’t know exactly where she lived, I guessed what she was getting at.

“No problem, you can take a cab back from my place.” Thankfully, my buddy didn’t interject by saying he could take her to her house. He might have not even known what she was talking about when she said “Left,” since he does know how to get to my place and thought that’s where we were going.

She said nothing else, so the conversation continued and we arrived at my apartment. I was sort of offering that my buddy comes in too, but thankfully he beat me to the punch. He said he had to run, that he had an early morning tomorrow.

So Anna and I went up to my apartment. She came in very confidently, opposed to how I do notice when girls are sometime a bit hesitant for a few when they are in a guys place their first time. They come in for the tour, settle to the environment as I offer them a drink and get them settled in a comfortable area.

She went on to be playing with my cat. I told her that I thought it was awesome that she got along so well with the cat and the cat liked her. She seemed to spend an extra minute or two playing with the cat after I said that.

She previously told me she had an unfulfilled dream of stripping some day. She had a very tight body, exercised regularly and I could see she had a palm sized ass, still beautiful hip curves. Of course I had to show her the stripper pole I have installed at my place. It has always gotten a playful reception form girls who come over for dinner parties and for other reasons.

She loved it. She started showing off her moves to which I sat back and enjoyed the show. After a few minutes, when she had done a good multi-move sexy routine, she was closer to where I was sitting with her ass in my direction. I simply put a hand on each side of her hips, pulled her down to be sitting next to me, and let the makeout begin.

Things escalated for a while, she kissed her way down my stomach to give me some head, which was actually very good. Since I did want to fuck her, I stopped her at doing this, guided her to be on her back and did some ravishing all over her body to get her more aroused.

I ran my hands and kissed, all over her body. As I was kissing her belly, my hands were up on her boobs. With a quick maneuver with my hand, I unhooked her bra (I would recommend practice on these to be very smooth). I did this while kissing, usually when done quickly and smoothly, girls hardly notice it is coming off (which they like things to be that smooth) until they feel their nipples are being played with.

We play-wrestled around on the futon, making out & playing different ways. Then in a smooth, unbutton and slide down, her pants came off. While kissing her below, she had moans of pleasure but still was gently and playfully resisting and laughing.

She was enjoying what she was feeling, yet didn’t want to surrender to me yet I could tell. I could feel that in her, and wasn’t bothered so I kept repositioning us in different ways through our wrestling, both of us laughing.

Probably to avoid the slut-label girls often think they need to avoid during a first night encounter like this. She pulled her pants back up. Once I first detected this, I took the control. Taking the waistband of her pants, I pulled them all the way up, rezipped and rebuttoned them while saying “Whoa missy, as much as I am attracted to you, we are going way too fast.”

By seizing her hesitation to be my hesitation, I now had more of the control of it. When I resparked sexy-time further, it is more as if her sexy moves had me to reconsider my choice of slowing things down, in a subtle way. Even when she was on top of me and things got hotter and heavier in both of us, she went to stand up for a moment. That is fine, she can let those feelings of me touching her to soak in & her feeling her arousal without me touching her for a moment, building desire in her.

Rather than try to keep things in a state of continuation, I laid my head back and mostly closed my eyes. I was just enjoying her for the moment, we were making out and escalating so now that it paused, I just sat back and enjoyed what was previously going on. Instead of glaring at her in anticipation for more escalation, I was just comfortable. Sure I had my eyes closed but one squinted every so often so I could see what she was doing. That way she didn’t feel like she had my full attention, eagerly awaiting her next move. If things were to end for the night at that point, I was fine. I could see her watching me expectantly, then she picked up a huge carnival stuffed dog of the floor & in a silly way she first pressed it to my chest where I was reclined a bit.

As I opened my eyes and looked at her she let herself down to be on top of me with the stuffed dog between us. (Weird barrier) Then the kissing began again with me pulling out the stuffed animal and we play-wrestled again, letting things escalate further. Then I was the one stopping things, mentioning that I had to get up early tomorrow so we should call her a cab.

She agreed, so I looked up cab companies online & selected one to call. Since she was sitting next to me, while I was waiting for someone to answer, I put my hand on Anna’s back and guided her down to be giving me head again. I heard the taxi guy answer but was a little distracted so I disconnected. She was pretty passionate and enthusiastically going down on me, it was late so I let her finish me to orgasm. I kissed her & told her she did awesome. She told me she had to work the next morning so I picked up the phone to call the cab again, this time giving the guy the addresses.[/private]

Never leave a group

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on August 6, 2011 1 comment

…because you run out of things to say. Say anything.

As I tell my students, you are not done until [private]they walk away or they ask you to leave. This is very good practice.

Girls are built to be social creatures and will hardly ask a guy to leave. It can be a good test of yours to push the envelope (you will find it is a lot further than you thought) until they do ask you to leave.

If you have completely run out of things to say, share a trivia fact.

“Do you know which bird it is that can fly backwards?”

“The humming bird.”

Most often they don’t but I am enthusiastically excited when they do.

“Oh my god, that is awesome. Once I was told the answer, I remembered that I did know that hummingbirds can fly backwards but when asked as a question I tried to picture seagulls and pigeons flying backwards. That would never happen. That shows you are a very bright girl, which is cool, maybe if you are cool other ways you can help me study for my ‘underwater basket weaving’ class.”

[/private]

Many times when guys are in an interaction with a woman….

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on May 22, 2011 96 comments

…. that they just met, the woman isn’t really sure or clear that he is interested in her directly. One way to playfully indicate this is to talk about it as future plans. “Oh my God, I am so totally going to start hitting on you in the future because…”

By doing this there is nothing to object to or to reject right now. It is a playful statement you made almost indicating that if she plays her cards right you will get hit on by you. This leaves the potential open without being too direct.

By using this future perspective you can lay [private] a lot of things out just as ‘potential’. “That is so cool! You love food and I love food”. “I love going to all these different new cultural and hole in the wall restaurants around town, we can be food buddies and check these places inside out.” This is no need for any specific logistical details, this is just indicating that if she does play her cards right there is another fun activity the two of you can do together.[/private]

You can always toss this in the conversation somewhere:

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on May 19, 2011 1 comment

[private]

“You won’t have to wait for my call tomorrow if you sleep over.”

“Sorry about what happens later.”[/private]

Before you go out:

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on May 9, 2011 No comments

A little warm-up before going out on a clubbing night keeps the social wheels well lubed. Open some random people to get the momentum going & maybe you can hook a pivot girl for the night…[private]

Meeting two buddies at Fanueil Hall and we worked our way down the aisle. I need to take a squirt so we went looking for a Bathroom.

Outside of the entry door to the market place was a menu for the restaurant just inside. As we walked closer I saw the girl reading the menu by herself. One of the things we all learned is opening everybody no matter what… just to keep it as habit.

Without seeing her face yet, she could be stump-ugly for all I knew, so I just spun up next to her and started talking: “seen anything good, so far.” Now the thing is I just started talking before either of us saw each other’s face or eye contact or anything.

Before this, I saw she was petite, she had a good top of long blonde hair, and was dressed in fun looking contemp hip cloths. So yes that is what I qualified on up to this point, but there was no 3 second rule, no chance for either of us to start prejudging anything, just talk was going and our opinions would form at the rate of our dialog…

She turns around, turns out to be pretty cute. “Well, yeah it all looks good. Do they serve beer here?” She asks me.

“I would think so..”

“I guess yes, this is Mass, restaurants here can all can serve beer right?” Now that I hear she is from out of town, its time to cut the ‘menu’ thread.

“Oh yeah, where you from?” I ask

“Florida.” Which led to some common ground dialog for us, since I lived in Florida before. She lives in a completely different area but enough to get chatting about..

Listening to bits and pieces of why she is here, we chat it up for few. I saw her alone at the sign and now find out from out of town. On mini Vacation by herself? You know what that means!!! Girls get the Vegas vibe on any vacation. {‘What happens in Mass stays in Mass’ is gonna be going through a FL chick’s head at this point}

“What are you doing? Can I buy you a beer?” she asks.

I tell her: “Yeah. get us a table and order me a diet coke. I can stay for a few minutes..so I’ll be right back.” I hit the the bathroom and find my buds. I tell them I’ll need a few minutes and I’ll reconnect after this girl.

So spike her attraction, mostly listening, watching her talk while scanning her face. Watching her eyes, she sees me scan across her neck, up to her ears. I alternate looking at each of her eyes then down to her lips then to her eyes as I lick my lips, still just listening.

Keeping her talking was just about asking questions about her pleasurable subjects and interrupting her stories of bad things with unrelated random questions of good things. I want her to relate this time to good thoughts, happy thoughts.

We split a plate of some vegetable fra Diavlo and when I bring up the club I’m headed to, she says she wants to go but only has sneakers…

So I ask how long she is in MA for(couple days), then tell her of the next day’s club having the same dress code, so she gives me her number and tells me she’ll get the new shoes she saw that day… now that she has an excuse.., I give her a pinky promise to call & then a hug (at which she pecks my cheek)

My main point of this one, is how easy it is to roll when you don’t even see her much before you start talking. You don’t anticipate anything, she doesn’t either…you both come in talking and things roll as they do, easily.

Sure its like this: If you get talking and she is the type you are looking for: 10+ with an 11 personality(lol), then great, but if not that is great too. She will either be a friend, pivot or she was good practice to keep your momentum going.

[/private]

Great conversation topics that women enjoy

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on April 30, 2011 1,027 comments

Great conversation topics that women enjoy

Women’s Top Ten Favorite Conversation Topics

1.Hopes and aspirations
2. Hobbies/interests in general
[private]
3. Music
4. Dreams
5. Romance
6. Friends
7. Travel
8. Vacations
9. Movies
10. Entertainment
Women’s Top Ten Least Favorite Conversation Topics

1.Politics
2. Other dates
3. Past relationships
4. Science fiction
5. Religion
6. Celebrities
7. Science
8. Antiques
9. Money
10. History

Conversation flourish topics:

Glorified gossip – Hollywood, ect.

Childhood memories – Asking questions that get her recalling her childhhod memories. Telling her of your childhood lets her know of your childhood, she will somewhat feel like you guys have known each other longer and letting her imagine the ‘fill in’ details to your history.

Goals and aspirations – Shows her inner drives, and shows her yours. Girls love passion in a guy. Once she sees this, she will be drawn to you. Also hearing the topics she is passionate about will bring her to those passionate states every time you bring them up and the longer you spend talking about them.

Observations about the world around you, about people nearby. This puts you on a team looking at the world together.

What have your recognized about her? Read her a little bit. Talk about the vibe she has, the first impression you got, then the developed opinion. It takes a bit of finesse & maybe practice but to indicate that you didn’t like her very much at first but then as you got to know her a bit better you are starting to like her more. This will boost up the amount she feels it. She will see that her truer self, her inner person is what brought you to a present favorable opinion about her. (There was a social psyche study done by Aronson about this, but I have seen it many times over in practice.)

.[/private]

Great curiosity inspiring questions to begin stuff with:

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on April 29, 2011 579 comments

[private]Can you keep a secret?

Can I be totally honest with you?

Guess what?

Guess what else?

You know what?

Can I trust you?[/private]

Questions to chicks that don’t feel like police interview:

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on April 28, 2011 No comments

[private][private]* “When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?”

* “If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would that be? Why?”

* “If you could have any superpower, what would it be”[/private]

I tell her: “Ok, smile if you have no undies on.” and regardless whether she does or not, she always will start smiling which of course, now I have plenty to tease her about.[/private]

Have things to talk about

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on April 18, 2011 1,600 comments

[private]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUe7eRK2QFY[/private]

“Why don’t you keep your mouth shut?”

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on April 11, 2011 1,048 comments

After conversation is running along & I see her attraction is raised enough to start investing more into the conversation, she tilts the topic to be rambling on about trivial complaints she has.

“Why don’t you keep your mouth shut?” I ask her with a[private] playful smirk. She looks at me with disbelief that I just said that.

“What?” She asks, I guess to see if I will say it again. I said it, she heard it, time to move on.

Instead I just start rambling about a silly topic:
“I heard they’re gonna open a strip mall at Chili’s. Two-for-one appetizers. I’m going to get pizza pockets. And you get the spinach artichoke dip.”

I play mock her voice: “I’m going to get chicken fingers.’’

“ But you’re already getting a chicken Caesar salad.” I tell her in my own voice.

“Ya, but, they’re two different kinds of chicken.” I mock her voice again. She is laughing. I just wanted to change the subject so I ask her: “Have you tried the Ethiopian food in Central Square?”

When she tells me she hasn’t I go into describing how fun it is then I tell her. “I haven’t been there in a while. I’ll go with you, maybe next week & I can teach you what I know so far.”

[/private]

You see the girls engaging actively in the conversation with you

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on April 7, 2011 No comments

Once they have started investing their energy into the conversation then you see they are becoming engaged in the conversation. At that point, it is a good time to [private] notice something about them, anything.

There is a place you can do your goofy cold reads: “It seems like you are the good one and you are the bad one. I’m glad you guys have each other to keep yourselves balanced out. That’s okay, I’ll toss you guys up on my shoulders as my angel and devil whenever I have a dramatic decision to make. We’ll be rolling down the street with each one of you on my arm…anytime there is a decision to be made, each one of you can whisper in my ear and I can see whose suggestion is more tempting.”

[/private]

It is great to open sets with your energy.

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on March 26, 2011 418 comments

[private]When I see a group of people I am interested in, I will start by raising my glass and giving a “cheers” to everyone looking my way. I usually walk around a venue like I own it, because in my world, I do own it. Not so much the club, but the atmosphere is mine to be in the moment, I am in them. I’ll ask people if they’re having a good time and making sure everyone is having fun. They may assume I am the club owner, but I really am just interested that they are having a good time and if there is anything I can do to improve the time they are having.[/private]

Once you see her engaged in your conversation

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on March 10, 2011 7 comments

After a few minutes go went by, and you see she is engaged in talking to you & completely facing you, you can stop[private] bantering and start letting her know who you really are.

I see many guys continuing on in the major excitement and attraction type talk well after they have her well interested.

I think most guys do this because the behavior causes girls to show how attractive they are and this can be quite intoxicating to be receiving this kind of attention. The thing is, once you see the interest engaged you definitely need to start building some lasting rapport.

You can always come back to the fun stuff in a little bit. Start talking about points in your real life, challenges you are really facing, about the embarrassment at your last family function. If you hear her mention parts about her family or growing up, ask for more details of the real stuff. These type of topics lead to real connection that is easy to bring back in other conversations later.[/private]

“Hey knucklehead, the show’s over here…

Posted by Clark C.J. (♥♥♥) "Siege" on August 3, 2010 976 comments

…thank you very much.” I have said to a distracted girl more than once
There is great value in creating and maintaining curiosity in the girl about you. This is part of starting, building and maintaining the momentum of her chasing you, in pursuit of you. Fact of the matter is, [private] that both the girl and the guy are truly happier this way. A girl has been pursued her whole life, since she hit puberty. Guys have been pursuing women since puberty too.

Adventures of Attraction

C.J. Clark – Adventure Instructor

Category Archives: Things to talk about

Baby step comments to hint for the number

Quote this movie:

“Las Vegas is the Disney World for Boys who become Men with a better taste of the REAL Pleasures in Life.”

From a lawyer to a stripper in one night

You can always toss this in the conversation somewhere:

“You won’t have to wait for my call tomorrow if you sleep over.”

Great conversation topics that women enjoy

Great curiosity inspiring questions to begin stuff with:

Questions to chicks that don’t feel like police interview:

Have things to talk about

Once you see her engaged in your conversation

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C.J. Clark – Adventure Instructor

Category Archives: Things to talk about

“You won’t have to wait for my call tomorrow if you sleep over.”

Archives

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We Thank You for Donations

Being a Full Time Sexy Bitch

5091 people like this. Be the first of your friends

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