Ya bee hatel prasnootsa zavtra ootram riadam s taboy.
(“I’d love to wake up next to you in the morning.” In Russian – Phonetically.)
It is very good to keep talking (even standing there for a pause in dialog) until you have an explicit sign, them walking away or asking you to leave. It keeps your social muscles well exercised and by switching topics, you will find one that sparks more interest in the girls or a single girl of the group.
The essence of rolling out once you get a high point is that [private] you should be back. You get to a high point, then rolling out then has them wanting more of you already. This is a great way to start the momentum of them wanting you. Making a habit with telling every group you’ll be back is good. If you find that you are not interested in the group, you do not have to but it is good to be doing that. Remember who you opened & what you talked about than come back in and plow some more.
Rolling in and out gives the felling you are the sociable guy who is not needy, deeper rapport will start to happen, ‘their friend in the club’, yet when you roll back in you can escalate things with your target even more.
With that 3 set at Tavern, you saw me lock in, I took a chair, very comfortable. It would be good for you to pull up a chair or when you roll back in to grab a chair from a nearby table and bring it up to theirs. Then by keeping the conversations going as long as possible, your rapport is growing, they are getting more used to your personality, more comfortable knowing you better. Keep your ears open for points you hear them bring up. Once you can be asking them more details about their topics, they are talking more, getting more invested.
A girl who has spent 30 minutes talking to you will fell like she knows you much better than if she spent 30 minutes listening. At first you have to take up the majority of the talking space, but once you have them gabbing, do what you can to keep them talking. Ask the more details about subjects they like, they get excited about, things they are passionate about.
To better indicate your interest in a particular target of the table, you can switch from doing tricks and telling funny stories to asking about her life, qualifying the girl for you. Find out what she does, what she studies, what in life she has that makes her feel truly alive.
“Let d’Adventure Continue”
…upon opening a girl and early in the interaction, she hasn’t rejected the guy who opened her. He can’t take it personally yet because [private] she has no idea what he is like, how fun he is, how exciting he is, and all those things.
She has a certain amount of blocking maneuvers built in. These will weed out the first level of guys; this will qualify the weaker ones out of her scope before she needs to do any serious qualification. It is sort of a time saving technique.
Almost all girls have an auto-responder built in. They are raised to be polite, so of course she will say “It was nice meeting you” as a way to give a hint to end the conversation. She hasn’t said (and most girls wouldn’t say): “I am done talking to you”… so I can take this hint as meaning that I haven’t sparked any/enough interest & attraction yet which is fine.
It is easy to change topics like the signal wasn’t noticed. By frequently changing topics and coming back to touch base on ones talked about is how old friends converse. By keeping this same eye for her signals open, I will see which topics engage her, interest her, excite her & spark attraction in her.
This, in a way, will speed up the amount of rapport felt between you both. When you keep changing topics & find a bunch of them that you agree on, you have rapport on a variety of topics, like old friends. Women don’t need to have their conversations run on a linear structure; they very much operate on a moment to moment basis anyway.
Also by staying in the conversation & changing topics shows a masculine strength. Woman will stay polite as long as possible; it’s part of their social nature. This gives a man the opportunity to find her hot buttons.
If one reads her silly ‘nice meeting…’ as a negative signal and cowers away, they’ve answered a qualification factor very quickly for her. She sees this as a man with not much to offer in depth & variety to his personality, one who had no other interests left quickly, saving her time.
If she walks away, that is an obvious explicit signal. Other than the obvious, there is no (absolute) response expected, it is time to pick & choose.
Yes I keep my eyes and ears open to read the signals women send in subtext and indirectly, but I only respond to the ones that I like. I have heard girls blatantly disagree with an opinion point I have made. I am fine with disagreement, but I will just accept her point and further the reasons I have come to my conclusion. After hearing what I had to say I have heard girls make a second statement, agreeing with my point, as if she had never disagreed just a moment ago. By continuously responding to the ones I like and not the other, I always see the frequency of positive ones picking up. The girl is getting a reward for the positive ones, with them being replied to, while the other ones are just ignored and start to happen less.
Being such social creatures, they seem to have a craving for approval (message sent/message received) to be going one way or the other in any interaction they are in. They will do what seems to keep this happening over other factors so they will keep sending the messages that are getting them a favorable response (which is any response over it being ignored).
….. it is time for you to make [private] specific plans that is fun and interesting.
“That is so awesome we both like Latin food, we’ll have to check out that new place in Harvard Square to split an appetizer and see what they are like….”
Or whatever. Just making tentative plans will increase her likelihood to pick up the call. rather than just picking up to chat & feel like she has to be making a good impression, she has a logical reason to want to talk to you, to finalize the plans you have started to create. [/private]
People often get a bad impression of a place for a few reasons. Here are some deflector rays to [private]those reasons:
1. Keep plowing on to dissolve the bitch shield.
The girls here are top notch, or trying to look that way. Girls dress up to their nines to be at these places. Who else is shelling out 20 bucks for a cover charge? It is very LA in that sense. Yes their bitch shields are on extra high.
I always pull high quality girls of these places. Lawyers, Doctors and girls of financial district are these places but there is a different breakdown of interaction.
Even when you see their bitch shield, you just plow on, like you didn’t notice it. Just a dirty look, a bit of a back turn, or a snide comment is built into these girls to come out automatically. By seeing you unaffected, and plowing on, they are not feeling heard yet by you so they will listen to what they have to offer.
Now you have your chance to throw a couple of stacked routines. Yes you monitor how they react, but you don’t show it. You are a good time. If they don’t pick up on it after a few of your ramble…, well, parallel to the ‘Law of Attraction’ states:
You are a roving good time. You are attracted to good times. If she doesn’t warm up and follow your positive vibe, you will notice something/somebody nearby that is in that mode (or will come up to it with you.)
Keep your good mood on & will will attract other party people anyway.
2. Once you get their high point, roll out.
There are a ton of people in the club. You are there to meet everybody, make sure you touch base with all the cool people. They have a similar mode.
Hot Bunnys will meet a bunch of guys throughout the night. Although they don’t do much to re-engage contact. (they do, but its subtle, I’ll talk about that later.) They still want to feel they did some guy-shopping through who’s around tonight.
Or more accurately, they were available to talk to guys who were ‘shopping’ as they went by.
The best way to deal with this is to open them, then plow on to get em to a high point, then be the one to cut it short. There are some great ways to do this, but once you have them engaged, its all pudding.
Are they laughing? That is one of the best high points. Stay while the laughter is high, scan around looking for your friends, then as it starts to die down, kino one of them with a hand on the arm or something and solid eye contact. “Hey, some great people of mine just got here, let me go say ‘Hi’ and I’ll come back in a bit. You HAVE to meet them, they’ll LOVE you.”
(Acting if they are the source of this high point is good too. Maybe it was your jokes, but here is a good laughter. The most wanted commodity by any jokester.)
Now turn around and walk away. Get lost in the club for a few. Open a second set of girls within sight of the first one. The second set will see you walking out of a group of girls to talk to them. They will be very eager to be opened by you.
The first set will think those are the friends you were talking about, although they are just another set of girls you stopped at to say Hi to on your way to meet up with your friends. This tells both sets, you are very preselected, socially, connected in this club.
The thing is, on the first set, even if you don’t roll into another set, you walked away while they were in a high point. As soon as you leave, they will be like “Hey, come back here, you are fun.”
Sometimes they will try to stop you, or just watch you walk away. Either way they are so easy to open after that. Later in the night, as soon as you see them, give a big smile and greet them. The first second they see you, they remember the last thought they had of you was a high point: LAUGHTER!.
For the longest time, I never understood why people had any venue that they DIS-liked. Then a buddy pointed it out to me: “We are the roving party, bringing fun to any place we go. Everyone else can either join in the fun, or sit in their nothingness and watch it go by.”
Things I totally relate to!
This girl that I met at 10pm last night, kept me up till 6am today.
Then at 12:30 today, this comes in:
“:) I have not stopped smiling all day, sorry about the latch, hope the rest of ur day goes just as well, I’ll talk to u soon” ~HBScorpio
When I write/post rest of story, you’ll see what I mean when SNL becomes 8 hour love story that needs a sequel to be congruent.
Sure I fall in love like junior high girls get crushes, but 4 some reason the love is real (totally in love with the moments we share(d) & wouldn’t trade those 4 the world.). …..X, Ttyl. CJ
She will be processing what is being said and some expression will come with her remarks, you can see if she is getting engaged. Once the conversation starts, I watch her body language and overall energy and calibrate to it. It is nice to have energy slightly higher than hers is. Having it close will indicate rapport & being slightly higher will start to raise her energy, raise her vibe of fun because of you there.
It is said that 1st two weeks of semester have highest ratio of SNLs, Mmm…So 2nd day girl from my class comes along to improv with me after class, then with me to have wine with me & see my place and one thing leads to another… I love it when a girl is thanking me as she is leaving after sex .
The following day of class (2days later, ystrday) she introduces me to her hott friend, we all meet up for wine last night. When we all get back to my place, of course I suggest a 3 way massage but it never even gets that, right to 3 of us enjoying each other naked…sexual tension within dialog leads to beautiful things [/VIDEO LINK chemistry convo seed to 3some
When you are chatting along with a new girl and you feel some clicking happening, you have some common interests. You see attraction running both ways you can ask: “Well let me ask you this. What steps do we have to take to make sure we have a chance to talk again?”
And just let that statement go like a seed regardless of her reaction. A few minutes later you can easily say “You are definitely cooler than I first thought. We totally have to trade contact to pick this up again.”
If you are trying to fit into the norm in every area of your life, think about this: ‘average guy’ means just like all the rest. What is special about you that would cause her to choose you over any of the other millions of guys on this planet?
A woman’s attraction instincts would be invoked by [private]things such as humor, confidence, attitude way more then anything like looks or money. Of course those things would get a woman’s attention as a guy first walks in the room, once the conversation is started those factors seem to melt away.
Not only do you want to live an “above average” lifestyle, if you are approaching a new woman, being categorized as “average” in the first 90 seconds will shut off any available attraction triggers in her mind. The challenge has ended before it even has started.
When I see or hear of a guy seeing the woman he has interest in and then asking “do you have a boyfriend?” Or something very weak sounding such as: “can I take you out sometime?”… These type of things are indicating that a man has interest in the girl weigh more than well last if he gets to know her and she’s not that cool. She knows this. So many guys approach with these type of questions, that alone will write him off.
Listen, you want to find a girl that not only can catch your attention but can also hold it, right? Yes you should be open to meeting new people, meeting new women to see what they’re like unless not jump steps just yet. Start slow, even slower than that. Make your small moves to learn about the woman and see if she has interesting character to her.
“Beauty without character is like a masterpiece painted on a napkin.”
Then once the initial contact is made in a girl and a guy start to get to know each other, I have seen guys doing things such as buying her gifts, taking her to expensive restaurants and/or doing favors for her to earn her approval. A woman’s gonna find this very unattractive. These type of steps come from a man feels his inner character in real cell is unattractive and may be hiding is I’ll tear your motives are wanting to sleep with her.
Yes, sure, yes please go ahead and do those things once you have gotten to know a girl and she seems really special to you. You have gotten to know her enough to know that those type of rewards as mentioned above have been earned in time with her is rewarding enough to you to give her those things.
At the very beginning and meeting a woman not only do you want to know those things (how cool she is) she also wants to know those about you. Remember that. If she has caught your attention, you can easily bring her and you bolt to be feeling that excitement, tension, and attraction at the very beginning of your meet up. You never have to wonder where you stand with her, you are very sociable a and if anything, she should be curious to know where she stands with you. She should be carriers to know and to earn your time taking her along your adventures. Once you have learned enough about her, of course then you decide it is like to spend more time with her and maybe go through some of the dating rituals (if that is what you choose).
Think of it this way: one relationship is based and built upon two people that enjoy each other’s company very much and they enjoy each other’s personality. Compare that to another relationship whereas a girl decides to hang out with a guy because he buys her gifts, takes her on expensive dates, and does outlandish favors for her. (By the way as a relationship grows favors become a two-way street).
If you are in club with a buttoned shirt & one sleeve unbuttoned, you can ask a nearby girl:
“Hey, I’m meeting a friend in a second and I couldn’t get this button (Point to unbuttoned sleeve), do you think you could … ?”
Then I say: “Thanks, you’re really friendly. Who are you here with tonight?”[/private]
Being very comfortable talking about the subject with all it’s details in a casual way takes the awkwardness out of the dynamic. You can stay aloof and detached from anyone else’s awkwardness about sex since it is a beneficial part of life and really, it is no big deal. That is what media censorship has done to it, not you.
[private][private]Uoffhanded affection can come from picking the lint from her clothes, taking the eyelash from her cheek, taking the lint from her chin.
Make no big deal out of this, get it done & keep moving along, keep talking like it’s nothing.[/private]
it is good to show you have an easy going attitude about sex, even sexual topics. It is good to relate this early in an interaction with a new girl. This takes and pressure off of her to be a ‘good girl’ around you.
I find an easy way to work sexual [private]topics into regular conversation is to ask “What is the craziest place that you have ever had sex?” This will partly give the girl the freedom to be discussing sexual topics with you. It is best for you to have a story to tell her back or if she is a little shy at first you can follow the question with a partial story.
“Where is the craziest place you ever had sex? I had one girlfriend who wanted to do it on an airplane bathroom. The setup of the plane was weird so she put a blanket on her lap as I fingered her to the magical ‘O’ while we were flying.” or something like that. The sooner you get to topics like this it will show you are a sexual guy and have her considering you as a possibility to be more than a nice guy to talk to for a while.
You can even segue from sexual topics with “While you (women) can have nine kinds of different orgasms, Us guys are stuck with only 2 different kinds. I don’t think the orgasm distribution was as fair as it should have been.
This will show her you are pretty sexually intelligent and indicates that she would have a variety of adventurous sexual experience with you if she plays her cards right.
Those are good points but the key is to show that discussing sexual topics is just like talking about the weather. When you show your sexual comfort, she will allow herself to be more sexually confident around you.
(Another nice subtly sexual affection you can do on a date, is to take her hand so her arm is across the table or something. Then while you are still talking you can lightly brush your fingertips, with the pressure of a feather, across her inner arm an wrist. A woman’s wrist is so saturated with nerve endings, she will feel sensations down to her toes. This will also show a teasing, sensual touch that you have that she can imagine more of in the bedroom.)[/private]
[private]To be said very tongue-in-cheek and with a smirk of mischief[/private]
just as you think she really is interesting enough to be so, You can say something like:[private]
“Oh, so you’re [private] one of THOSE people…
With a smirk of mischievous knowing[/private] that underneath it all, you both know the truth. [/private]
“Sorry about what happens later.”[/private]
is a great playful joke to throw in anytime what she says or does can be interpreted with a sexual undertone. Keep it going, it’s a fun momentum.
Those same type of lead in statements that got the [private] “That’s what she said” line can go a bit more mature, making more people laugh at them. They key to humor is the tension, then release, so If you put a little tension on them for ‘objectifying’ you, the most common reaction is a little playful laughter.
…and of course, she later asks herself in her thoughts “I must really want him or I wouldn’t have said such a thing…”[/private]
standing by the bread as I walk in.
I turn to her and ask: “Do you know if they sell Playboy here? I only read it for the excellent journalism.” I tell her with my playful smirk.
she can tell I am less than half serious, but not afraid to ask this hott girl a question like that. She started laughing and telling me she was not an avid reader of such publications.
Of course I went on to jokingly describe the wonderful content-rich articles inside, in such an over-exaggerated way. The conversation went off…
…with a feather touch can indicate your tease she can look forward to in the bedroom.
You can do this while [private]you are still talking and holding her eye contact.
This way she can stay engaged in your words and not feel a need to pull away while you are talking.[/private]
[private]If you are teasing her & you detect a little offense she has taken, just tell her you love her and give her a big hug.[/private]
Great conversation topics that women enjoy
Women’s Top Ten Favorite Conversation Topics
1.Hopes and aspirations
2. Hobbies/interests in general
Women’s Top Ten Least Favorite Conversation Topics
2. Other dates
3. Past relationships
4. Science fiction
Conversation flourish topics:
Glorified gossip – Hollywood, ect.
Childhood memories – Asking questions that get her recalling her childhhod memories. Telling her of your childhood lets her know of your childhood, she will somewhat feel like you guys have known each other longer and letting her imagine the ‘fill in’ details to your history.
Goals and aspirations – Shows her inner drives, and shows her yours. Girls love passion in a guy. Once she sees this, she will be drawn to you. Also hearing the topics she is passionate about will bring her to those passionate states every time you bring them up and the longer you spend talking about them.
Observations about the world around you, about people nearby. This puts you on a team looking at the world together.
What have your recognized about her? Read her a little bit. Talk about the vibe she has, the first impression you got, then the developed opinion. It takes a bit of finesse & maybe practice but to indicate that you didn’t like her very much at first but then as you got to know her a bit better you are starting to like her more. This will boost up the amount she feels it. She will see that her truer self, her inner person is what brought you to a present favorable opinion about her. (There was a social psyche study done by Aronson about this, but I have seen it many times over in practice.)
[private]Can you keep a secret?
Can I be totally honest with you?
Guess what else?
You know what?
Can I trust you?[/private]
[private][private]* “When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?”
* “If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would that be? Why?”
* “If you could have any superpower, what would it be”[/private]
I tell her: “Ok, smile if you have no undies on.” and regardless whether she does or not, she always will start smiling which of course, now I have plenty to tease her about.[/private]
[private]with many questions I am asked. “Don’t worry, we’ll get to that” sort of thinking. I make a mental bookmark in my head about something she inquired about. Then later after we have continued our current threads of conversation and topics have changed, maybe I bring it back up “You asked before about…”. By doing this, she will feel like she was better listened to. You came back to the point. Still, even at this point, I most likely will let her know what she wanted to know then segue it in a topic that is more fun anyway.[/private]
Another great thing to make sure you keep in mind is that there is never a need to avoid potential conflicts. Being a highly confident and strong man, knows that the best ideas are often presented with counterpoints. This is fine. If it was a boring topic or issue, no one would spend the time trying to oppose it.
Remember that it is okay to have some conflict. Even powerful emotion will raise attraction so her quick spurt of an angry face is not a thing to take seriously. You have just met this girl she is still treating you as a non-person to her world, also seeing how you react under different situations.
If she does give you a quick angry anything in the first few minutes you have met her, take it as a joke. Make a joke of it. You can call her cute for getting all huffy about a silly joke you made. Reach across and sideways hug her as if you are consoling her little tantrum.
If you think about it on the same level, since you just met this girl, you have no reason to care what she thinks yet. She is still a new person to your world and you have not learned enough about her to see if you want her to a friend of yours, If her energy compliments yours.
When meeting new people, there is no reason to really care what they think about me or what I have to offer. They detect this lack of care, this supreme confidence which is really attractive in itself. Since they are not top priority and there is not any reason to worry. Stay focused on the feel good topics you know, those that make you feel good and seem to be contagious to those around you.
Never worry if she sees something in you that might push her away. It always good for you to have the ‘warts & all’ perspective about what you project. If you do welcome her into your world for a longer period of time, she will see those anyways. It shows a higher confidence when a person see’s no big deal in their own faults.
You have some rapport and she already is doing different things to signal to you that she is [private]interested in learning more about you. “I just don’t give my number to chicks that I meet in the world anymore but if I put your name on your number (As I hand her my phone), I would pick it up when you call.“[/private]
“I don’t like it when girls [private]drink so I’d rather you didn’t. I’m starting to think you are cool & don’t really want to see you sloppy.”
This indicates a fatherly/protective nature and also shows that you are not looking to have her judgment hindered…since you know you are a catch.
Then I tell her “If you really want a drink, why don’t you go tool some other guy, then you can come back and you can have some more conversation with the most interesting guy in this place.” [/private]
One way to do this is offhanded comments that show you know her perspective.
You can keep it playful and joking, just say something like this:
“There was a [private]gay bartender that was giving me free drinks. Do you think he liked me or do you think he liked me/liked me?”
Using that phrase ‘liked me or liked me/liked me’ has been a girl term for many years defining the difference between a friendship liking a person has versus a liking that may be more. It is a subtle and joking way to indicate that you do ‘get it’ and know where women are coming from.
“Was it a date or was it a date-date?” is another example how girls are saying more between the lines. Have a good time, each thing you try gives you more concrete results to modify your techniques to your personality and to the situation you are in. [/private]
over the phone, you can indicate you’d like to see her without any pressure involved. [private]
“Hey it was great talking to ya. I’ll tell you what, I’m real busy. I’ve got a lot going on but I’d love to see if we could get together, get a cup of coffee. Maybe you could catch my attention. Coffee is great too because if you are boring or psycho I can escape politely.”
By saying this indicates you are a busy guy with a lot going on in your life. Although you are busy, you’d like to take a short block of time to see what she is like, to see if you’d like to have her in your life regularly. The ‘boring or psycho’ joke is thrown in to show that you think of similar things that women do when they go on first dates, capturing the frame and owning it for yourself. [/private]
[private][private]“Ok cool, gimme your number before I forget to ask later.” because I get so caught up in conversations, it is likely I willl if I don’t say something when I think of it.
[private]“I can’t wait till I get home. I left a roll of lifesavers in my other jacket and pineapple is next!”
Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.[/private]
After a few minutes go went by, and you see she is engaged in talking to you & completely facing you, you can stop[private] bantering and start letting her know who you really are.
I see many guys continuing on in the major excitement and attraction type talk well after they have her well interested.
I think most guys do this because the behavior causes girls to show how attractive they are and this can be quite intoxicating to be receiving this kind of attention. The thing is, once you see the interest engaged you definitely need to start building some lasting rapport.
You can always come back to the fun stuff in a little bit. Start talking about points in your real life, challenges you are really facing, about the embarrassment at your last family function. If you hear her mention parts about her family or growing up, ask for more details of the real stuff. These type of topics lead to real connection that is easy to bring back in other conversations later.[/private]
Get Her Chasing You & Adventures of Attraction by CJ Piona ©2010
As I have said many times, the opener is nothing but a way to get a conversation started.
I say this statement so guys aren’t thinking there is a magical opener that will get you laid without all the steps, the dance from ‘Hello’ to making passionate love. If all you do is [private]work on your openers, like I see many guys do, that’s as far as you get.
You’ll never get good at anything else until you have a couple that work and move on to learn more, past that.
Things that are valuable about an opener is that they are a way to set the tempo of an interaction, right off the bat. Then it is up to your wit & charm & everything you learned about productive conversations that keep that tempo going throughout the conversation.
Aside from the content, the way that you say it can be very beneficial. If your first statement to a new woman is in a slow deep sensual voice, things are going to work from that foundation.
If you have a really playful vibe to the way you start a conversation, then things will branch from there. Both of those tempos and others are good, since you can transition to those moods throughout your conversation as you lead it, they are just a starting point. “Hi, my name is C.J. and I just had to meet you, to see what you’re like.” Does open a conversation with a direct (but not more than it is) intention indicated.
Sure a girl has caught my attention because she is cute, has a cool style, looks cultured, or whatever…but to hold my attention will take me getting to know her which starts, from me seeing what she is like.
There are over a million ways to open conversations. I have written out many of the ways with explanations to some of the tempo and reasons for the tempo they start.
Sure, using memorized lines works good to get you practiced and build your confidence, but once you have some of those tried and results seen, you can start to write your own that are based more on your personality, your personal experiences. I break them down so you can design what you write to start a similar tempo if you like.
Sometimes a fake question opener is a good way to jump into one of your detailed, emotional, adventurous stories.
“Have you ever been to Daedalus restaurant?” and it doesn’t matter if they have or haven’t. If they haven’t I may tell them where it is, but then I jump into my story “Oh really? I was there last week after the improv that I do and this guy walks in….”
The random question is always a good segue, past introductions to get start off telling an interesting story about you. This is an instant way to capture some good attention & get some tempo going to the whole interaction. [/private]
Don’t even ask me about the time I opened a super hott 10 girl by telling her: “You are ugly, but there’s something about you that I had to say hi.”
When you are in a conversation with a new girl, remember that exchanges of facts leads to boredom. With practice you can learn to bring a fun element to [private]every conversation that you are in.
Asking yourself questions in your mind often leaves an open loop in your subconscious to come up with an answer.
I frequently ask myself “What is funny about all of this?” when I am in different situations and later find my discoveries to be just that. I tend to notice small observations about what is going on around me than seem to pick up the mood of anything I am in.
“How can I add fun to all of this?” is another good one. You may think of childish associations, or exciting silly things to tilt in to you conversations
By making the small observations you can establish a new dynamic to the two of you that starts to grow those feelings of couple hood. By looking at the world around you from a team thinking mentality has you both on the same plane and this leads to more rapport.
To capture her attention and get her fully engaged on what is going on, you have to stand out from the dozen of previous conversations she already had before you got there. Most people are living in their uptight world, full of worry and concern. One great way to disrupt this pattern is regularly sliding in points of childish silly topics that really mean nothing at all but are fun to talk about.
That team mentality can start to feel really quickly that it is you and her against the rest of the world. When you are making fun of the silly tie the host is wearing or working on playing a childish prank on a person nearby, you have all of sudden become a team of mayhem. A very fun place to be in.
….if she’s going to sleep with a guy she just met, so I make sure that I’m [private]talking loudly and clearly, in a great mood, and position my body language in a way that is attractive. I stay laughing an joking and keep things silly, playful like a little kid. I am out on my weekend, I have no need to be serious in this place. I am having fun.[/private]
[private]As I’ve said before a single body language cue cannot tell you much but when several cues are all occurring at the same time that have similar meeting, a summary/conclusion can be drawn from this. Great benefits from understanding body language happen when you choose to use more of your own body language to express yourself. Research has shown that nonverbal signals can carry up to five times as much impact as the words spoken. Women especially, frequently roll I on the nonverbal messages that they see and hear, often times disregarding the words spoken.
Much of what your body language is doing has to be congruent with what you are saying & how you feel or else most women are able to read the conflict. Knowing the body language cues is very helpful though, since most men aren’t very expressive with their body language by knowing the cues you can turn up the volume of the messages you are sending.
When it comes to the handshake, many men grow up believing a firm one is the only way to go with everybody. In man to man interactions, the integrity and dominance are jusged by the handshake. Wil a woman however, although it is a totally different story, many men will still use their ‘firm handshake’ (sometimes too firm) when meeting a woman.
What I have found, in the subtle differences starts with a woman’s perception, is a few changes will establish a few things in her mind about you. Women are not as accustomed to the regularity of handshaking for meeting new people as men are. When it does happen I usually start with a firm (not too firm, just solid contact, all the way around) handshake to her to have the solid essence of my personality. Since there is no need to express dominance on a first meet up with woman (that may come later), I tilt my hand a bit so her hand is in my hand yet on top of mine. This lets her feel safe with the first meet up and since her hand is resting in mine, I do not pull my hand back. I keep talking and let her hand stay in mine as long as she wants to leave it there. She can have comfort in our physical contact and if we keep talking she usually leaves it there a bit longer than handshake might last, indicating to me a pleasant reception.
During a first handshake, I already know that I am the man, the dominant gender of our species. I may later make moves and have statements to remind her of this dominance that she can feel safe in, yet during a first meeting it is already pre-defined.
I also like to see, by the maintained conversation and maintained eye-contact, her feeling no pressure to pull her hand back. I think the extended eye-contact is another factor that she likes yet doesn’t want to interrupt it by pulling her hand back. On first meeting, this alone establishes a lot of comfort with touching and the extended eye contact builds up the sexual tension.
You’ll see that by asking questions that dig a little deeper will get more elaborate and heartfelt responses.
Not only will you find out what the “what you do” is, you’ll also find out the ‘why’ she does what she does. After hearing this you’re going to understand on a deeper level what this person you are speaking with is like.
Right away this shows no hesitation. If you think about it this is how you talk with your friends. Talking like this right away will make her feel very comfortable like you are girlfriend. It starts out by inspiring curiosity about your story, and what you don’t know that you can just chat for a little while.
…can be very valuable
This is a seemingly simple, yet very effective way to building rapport on a fast [private] pace. When I hear girls tell me points about them. I repeat them once over in my head just after she says them. I am nodding and actively listening when she is talking to me to keep her engaged in her dialog, yet every time I hear a specific point she tells me about herself, I make a note of it in my head.
Once a conversation is happening, the person you are speaking with has turned their attention to be on you completely. A few moments later when topics have changed a couple of times, when you refer to something she said earlier, she will feel truly listened to.
If she told you of a crazy cocktail she had last year on vacation, later when you are at the bar together you can ask the bartender if he knows how to make that specific drink.
Bringing these oints back up to them makes them feel truly heard and is a common characteristic among charismatic people.
I tell her:
“I just don’t give my number to chicks that I meet in the world anymore…but if I put your name on you number, I would pick it up when you call.” and I hand her my phone. [/private]
There is no need to take anything too [private] seriously when you are out. Keep looking around the room. Make fun of things that you spot around you. As soon as she joins you in this you are in a team mentality, looking at the world from a shared perspective. [/private]
If you think it is all about looks, think of this. I was talking to a chick friend about how a girl who is just ‘ok’ can get prettier and more attractive as I get to know her. This happens in a way that the eye really starts to see the beauty come out of a person. She agrees & says “Like[private] funny guys that crack me the hell up that aren’t ‘text book smokin hot’ can grow to be very attractive to me…”
How to Play Ping Pong with Her:
- Don’t ask for anything so she won’t feel guilty if she doesn’t respond.
- Ex. “It’s great to meet you. It’ll be fun to hang out sometime.”
- Don’t try working on logistics. Let her do that. Instead…
- You can then paint her a picture, describe to her what activities you want to do; of what the two of you will do when you do get together.
- Ex. “What I would like to do is …..” - Then paint her a picture with your
- Eventually she will start asking when you will do it. She will work the logistics if she’s down.
Woman are attracted to men who behave in ways that are self-decided,
not supplicating to women. Men are good leaders and women want a strong one.
As in last night, once I saw her giving me detailed answered, putting in the energy to qualify herself, it is my turn to [private] stop and just listen. This keeps the mystery about me alive with just a sketch of details. She was putting in the juice, it is time for me to ask her more questions to elaborate. I saw that when I guessed school teacher. She said no, that she studies and I just looked at her expectantly until she told me it was social work that she was studying social work.
“Oh my god, that’s awesome & does tell me a lot about you. You obviously want to significantly help peoples lives. I love that unselfishness.”[/private]
Ok, here is a story to tell:
She sat down,got herself a glass of wine and this “average” girl came out with some outrageous confessions… [private]
Pretty soon the conversation got on the
topic of “Well, have you ever cheated on
She smiled and answered candidly…
“Every… Single…. One.” [/private]
Rather than coming in with a goal of success, I clearly stated that I wanted the opposite. Approaching a few girls I said:
“Hey could you guys blow us out. We have to get blown out.”
When they ask what it is. “Well we are going to get into some conversations & you can be totally rude or something.”
This definitely caught them by surprise and they were very warm for the conversation.
You see, enjoying the moments at hand rather than going in with one outcome desired to define your success to yourself, makes a huge difference in the tempo you set and the one they receive.
Go into these conversations just to enjoy them in the moments that they are, she will too enjoy this and that in itself will lead to results better coming along than if your dependency on a single outcome affects your felt energy.