so they understand that they can replace most of their suitors with the next guy that comes along.Think of a girl in a bar, she blows guys off because guy after guy is coming up to her.
Once you have the active role in designing your life in all actuality, the girl is the overabundant commodity.
It is easy to blow her off since there are tons of women and having high qualifications for the women you welcome into your world makes a spot in it to be more valuable.
That is why the first thing in my mind when I am talking to a new girl is my only goal is to see what she is like to see if I would want her in my world.
Compliance to a simple request can be doubled by the most innocent aspect.
There’s little doubt that friends are easier to persuade than strangers. That emotional connection and shared history is often enough to get the poor wretches doing things they’d rather avoid, like helping us move home.
Forgive the mercenary language, but friendship is a fantastic lever for persuasion and influence, a lever we happily push on every day.
But how much does someone have to like us before we can start to influence them? And, more to the point, can only the most fleeting attraction[private] help us persuade
them to comply with a request?
Mere similarity
Jerry Burger and colleagues at Santa Clara University used a sneaky experimental set-up to test this out (Burger et al., 2001). On arrival at the lab, participants were told the study was about first impressions and were asked to choose 20 adjectives which best described them from a list of 50 supplied.
The idea, they were told, was that they would swap lists with another participant in the experiment, then fill out some more questionnaires. After which, experiment over; back to the student bar. In fact the real test was coming.
The 20 adjectives from the ‘other person’ weren’t really from another person, it was part of the experimental manipulation. By varying the number of adjectives the ‘other person’ had ticked, the researchers were dividing participants into three groups:
Similar: this group thought the other person had ticked 17 of the same adjectives.
Neutral: 10 adjectives matched.
Dissimilar: had only ticked 3 of the same adjectives.
The experimenters were manipulating liking between participants and the ‘other person’ by using what psychologists call the ‘mere similarity’ effect. This is people’s tendency to like others more because of some slight similarity with themselves. It could be a friend in common or something as trivial as their names starting with the same letter.
So, when participants left the lab, what a surprise, the person they thought they had been exchanging self-descriptive adjectives with just happened to be walking down the corridor with them.
Then the moment of truth. In passing the participant was asked for a favour: would they mind reading an 8-page essay and providing a page of feedback?
Compliance doubled
Even this seemingly trivial manipulation of adjectives-in-common had a measurable effect. People who thought they were dissimilar only complied with the request 43% of the time. This went up to 60% in the neutral condition. But in the similar condition, compliance went up to an impressive 77%, almost double the dissimilar condition.
The experimenters also did the same experiment in a couple of other ways but reached the same conclusion. Whether the fleeting attraction was caused by choosing the same adjectives or sitting together silently for a couple of minutes, it was enough to double compliance to a request.
This experiment suggests that fleeting attraction can be remarkably powerful in changing ‘no’ into ‘yes’. We process relatively small requests in an automatic way, using simple rules-of-thumb. When asked for a small favour by a stranger, we make a snap judgment on how much we like them based on trivial information, and this can have a huge influence on our response.
I am going to touch upon a part of the brain called: ’Broca’s Region’ before I decide how I am going to tell you the applicable stories to it. This part of the pain is a mechanism that decides when something has become predictable it gets out of our conscious attention and [private] pushed into our psychological background. It does this since it does not require our attention anymore. If you stay predictable, her brain decides her attention doesn’t need to be on you anymore.
In order to stay interesting to your self and the people you are in contact with, it is best to stay as naturally unpredictable as you were born.
A man is strong and reliable with plenty of integrity. An interesting man has these qualities along with being unpredictable, full of interesting conversation and actions. When girls have the feeling that they never know what you’re going to do next it turns out that they really want to know and consistently thinking about you.[/private]
This is said in smirking, tongue-in[private]-cheek sort of way. Another form of capturing the frame or taking thought processes that girls do have and bouncing them back to the girl.
She looks at me sort of dumbfounded. I just grab the door, open it & tell her “get in there kiddo.”
[/private]
As you get better at watching the women you are talking to and detecting how their feeling and such, you’ll be able to go much further. Things like good timing of when to [private]turn your back on her and engage you attention into something else for a bit. This is great when you detect sparks of attraction in her before they are explicit enough. Just in the moment when she feels emotionally stimulated or in need of validation, it is time to turn away slightly, causing her to lean in a little more. Attraction is just a tool to use. When she pulls you back, you can subtly reward her with a touch on the arm or showing in a subtle way that you are interested in her.. If you can tell her attraction for you has jumped, you can turn your back on her a moment. As you come back, if you go to kiss her, you will see she is more likely to accept the kiss.
“I never learn a thing when I talk about myself. Tell me a thing that makes your toes curl. What do you really desire more than anything. Tell me something that noone else knows about you. What’s the most unusual place you’ve hooked up with a guy? How about with a girl?!? If you were writing cosmo tonight, how would you describe your sexual fantasies?”
Like a cat, you need to keep attention and validation slightly out of the girl’s reach. If she finds everything, to be too easily acquired from you, she will get bored and quickly lose interest. On the other hand, if it feels completely unobtainable she will also lose interest and give up, go on to do something else. You keep these things, just barely out of her reach but continuously entice her in small increments.
Another way to begin the momentum of her curiosity is to pick something about her. Then say “You know what they say about women who….****.” (Whatever I can see about her). But I don’t tell her, I just look at her in a knowing way.
Like sometimes when I am talking to a girl and I pick something she has said with “YOU’ SUCH A Girl.” They’ll be asking what/why but I just smirk at them and turn my head away from them. It will emotionally frustrate them but in a good teasing way. That kind of playful emotional frustration that can lead them to chasing a guy they like.
“If I didn’t have to split now, I’d stay around & make out with you but I gotta go.” Usually gets a funny weird enough reaction. I have seen more than once a girl will use topics very detached from this to keep me hanging around a bit. Once I see this happening, I know I am in a sweet spot.
A girl’s emotional mind really wants to tame a wild guy. Someone who is unpredictable and surprising, who she has to work for, that she could lose at any moment.
When you hear those feeler ‘qualifying questions’ from a girl to you, mark it in your mind is a good sign. She is interested in you enough to want to know more and see more of what you’re like. She might say “So what do you do” as with all the questions, especially the qualifying ones, I use these as opportunities to joke or tease with her. You have her undivided attention; play with it a little bit like she is your little sister. If she asks me “So CJ, what do you do” I might tell her “I’m an ice sculptor. Last night I perfected the cube. You wait; with this tray I’ll be doing 12 next week.” Now I’m not saying you never tell her. I just put it off for the time being in the beginning. There will be an automatic stereotype of some sort attached to every profession there is. By deflecting for the time being avoids this and more indicates your likelihood for joking and being playful AND this also shows that earning her acceptance is not on your list. You know how cool you are, you have no need to give her your verbal resume. I do eventually tell her one of two ways. If she asks a second time in the conversation it shows she is really interested. I may tell her then jump to a story of what I wanted to be when I was a little kid, This is giving her the factual information she wants, still maintaining a better fun theme to what you guys are talking about.
The other thing I may say with many questions I am asked. “Don’t worry, we’ll get to that” sort of thinking. I make a mental bookmark in my head about something she inquired about. Then later after we have continued our current threads of conversation and topics have changed, maybe I bring it back up “You asked before about…”. By doing this, she will feel like she was better listened to. You came back to the point. Still, even at this point, I most likely will let her know what she wanted to know then segue it in a topic that is more fun anyway.[/private]
, what is easy and brings her back up to playful vibe: “Ah, getting feisty eh? You know what I would [private] do?!? I’d dress you up in a red PVC devil outfit. Complete with the horns like things and a tail…and some bitch boots with a pitchfork…and your friend here. She’s nice. I’d dress her up in a similar but angel outfit with wings and a furry halo. I’d roll with you guys, one on each arm down the street. Every girl would be jealous of you and every time I was to make a decision…I’d let each one of you fight over which decision is the most fun. Whichever is the most fun, we’d do that. [/private]
“Look, you may not see me as Mr. Right, but if you are nice, I may just be ‘Mr Right Now’.”
with her she may give you an insulting response or an angry stare. No matter what, stay strong. This is just another form of the chick’s test.
She may do this to see if you retreat, apologize and slot yourself into the category with all the other wusses she has met before you.
What will attract her the most is standing strong, with no surrender. It’s a joke for cripes sake, can’t she take those?
I may get confused at first since I thought she was bright and would get the joke. I am never apologetic or defensive about having upset her. Her mood will quickly change when she sees that I am not trying to offend anybody, I’m just teasing.
Since she will look insecure if she can’t take a joke, this tension will get her start to smile and laugh. That self confidence will spark the magic feelings of attraction.
There will be times when you are talking to a girl and there are issues that generate a deep rapport for you to share together. That can be good in all, but remember you just met this girl.
When it comes to people you have just met, a great way to connect is [private] establishing and maintaining more of a wide rapport,on many subjects. This is when you have many different subjects that you agree on. This is when you have many perspectives that you see eye to eye on. These are the types of people we end up meeting and feeling like we have known forever.
With all people many factors that started in our childhood never changed throughout our adulthood. We still do still operate on the award/punishment scales. Is she laughing at your jokes? It is time to reward her in some way. Show her you like this. Is she being offhandedly affectionate? There is another time to offhandedly reward her and indicate that you enjoy her.
When you first meet a girl, be it online or in person, as with much of the dynamic, you are going to have to use your first 90 seconds to be amazing, the ‘wow factor.’ Then and still she knows more about what you have to offer to the interaction, and about you as a person, you will have to take out 85 – 90% of the conversation space. (Remember girls hate silences, at first they are all uncomfortable).
As you to get to know each other then the scales seem to even out. My favorite place which you can discover as she tells you more about herself, is when she is taking up most of the talking time and you were just listening. I personally like to listen very much. I learned a lot about people in those places.
As I am listening I am making little notes in my head of topics to revisit and which ones she seems most passionate about that would be fun to talk about in more detail at a later time.
She starts out with such a small percentage because she is warming up to you and learning about your personality. Women are born social creatures. Much of this comes from learning about a person one is speaking with an identifying the points of rapport. She’s also learning which topics and styles seem to get her the most conversational reward as she shares her stories with you.
Guys who do not put this extra effort into a conversation with a girl they just met, I often see them letting it fizzle out and then walking away feeling like they were not liked. This definitely may not be the case and probably isn’t if you were trying to go 50/50 on the conversational talk time. Guys go on to think that a girl did not like them. This could be absolutely the opposite of the case, yet her natural womanly behaviors keep things this way until they are not, when she feels comfortable opening up more to you. I hate to hear guys are thinking that their opener was not clever enough.
The opener is nothing my friend. It is merely a spark to the fire of conversation, to get it going. It is the fire. It is what happens after that initial introduction that decides the connection between two people. (As a side note, I was recently talking to a check friend who made the point that our guy who would not be that hot in a photograph, once he gets her laughing he becomes pretty ‘smokin’.
It is what it is, but I hate to hear guys looking for that bonus prize, that ‘get me laid’ opening statement they can make to a woman. As with you, it takes something more than that which will just catch the attention, you need something that’ll hold her attention and build things up like never before. I hate to talk about these things like this so extreme, but once you’re in the essence of a moment those times will happen.
When it comes that first conversation I would suggest touching upon many different subjects. It is easy and very beneficial to keep changing the subject. You’ll see the ones that spark her up a bit. These you can amplify for a moment while noting in your head what they were. You can bring these to a high point then once you change the subject you can remember which topics to touch back upon.
By covering many different subjects throughout a first conversation you are feeling out which of the many topics you two can have rapport on and which subjects you can keep coming back to. Consistently changing topics rather than talking one to its dying day will keep you evidenced as the interesting guy you really are.
You really are. Think about it think about how many topics you do have interest in. Think about how many things really excite you. If you can briefly touch upon many of these it will do two wonderful things in an early conversation. It will show that you are a passionate guy because you keep talking about the numerous subjects you do get passionate about. Girls are very attracted to a passionate guy. Girls are very attracted to interesting guys with numerous subjects they have interest in.
Once your passion is revealed you will either see her shared passion in such therefore establishing a beginning rapport on the subject or she will just see yours. Even if she does not share the passion which you do she will admire your passion for it. Then once you have covered many topics and out of these found many that you BOTH share a passion about, you rapport is growing wide… across numerous topics. Here is how we find the type of people we can talk about anything with. I bet you can remember hearing of a girl talking about a guy she liked a lot. I bet that is exactly one thing she said about him (we could talk about anything.)
Now this is great, you can just keep talking and talking while switching and changing subjects. You just keep on talking making enough pauses to give her chances to respond. She may not, and you are not dependent on this but while doing this the second you see that something you are talking about happens to spark something in her you can clam up. Clam up so she has a chance to participate in this topic. Then you can help her to elaborate her points. You can ask for elaboration on details she mentions. While listening, it is nice to hold eye contact with a slight grin and nodding through her every word. This will tell her that you are paying good attention to her, intently listening and eager to hear her next passages. Doing this you can remain always ready to jump in and take over the conversation with points you heard and mentally bookmarked whenever needed.
As conversation is moving along you can cause new topics and ask for open-ended questions. I would suggest you commit to never asking any sort of ‘yes/no’ type of questions. With a little practice you can learn to make sure all of your questions are the open-ended type. The types that will inspire her to have long-winded answers are great. This whole time you can listen to her answer while mentally taking notes on details to ask her about.
Often girls will have to elaborate their answers to your creative questions. Other times girls may say something like: “Um… I don’t know.” This may happen because she really does not know an answer. Other times this may happen because she feels on the spot, she hasn’t gotten comfortable enough with you yet to open up and discuss things with you elaborately. Either way, you can clarify the question some.
This not only will give for a more detailed description of what you’re asking but also gives her a few moments to think about the answer to the first question you asked.
Sometimes girls need this. Whereas they might have felt to be put on the spot at first, while listening to you rephrase it they can be gathering an answer.
For example, to get to the core of our passions is often useful to look at our childhood. I may ask her something like: “Do you remember when you were a kid, what it was that you wanted to be when you grew up?”
Many times I find girls frequently do remember what this was. Maybe they love animals and wanted to be a veterinarian. Maybe they thought it would be cool if they were a nurse. If they tell me that they don’t remember I can give them an example of the type of answer I was looking for by giving them my own.
“Aw shucks (I say jokingly) that’s too bad. I find it can be pretty useful to figure out what we were thinking as kids to understand the core of our passions today. When I was in preschool, even before I could read, I still like to play as if I was reading books. The teacher’s aide told me I look like a lawyer so I was convinced her for some time that’s what I would be. I would go home and play mock trial with my parents either being a lawyer or being a judge. As I got older I never much wanted to be a lawyer but I do get a kick out of reading a lot and you find a strange fascination in the logic and reasoning that can be used in the courtroom.”
Nowas I gave my reply I gave very much into it. I was very sincere and told her about things I would play when I was a child. Sometimes by showing example, putting that ‘Umph’ into the reply will be modeling to her what you expected. Then she might be more likely to give you a more passionate answer and think some more about her own childhood.
As you are doing those things in qualifying her, once she passes the little tests you have presented it is time to seize the moment. “Oh my God, you are so cool. How can we make sure we hang out again? This is a lot of fun.”
You can even seize the moment and reward her right away. “That is so awesome!” And then pulled her close to you to kiss her on the cheek. There is never a reason to waste time. Once you detect that moment at hand it is time to seize it. Many guys a lawful themselves out of the park because of too many worry statements were second-guesses. Girls live on a moment to moment basis. When the moment is high and you guys are sharing one they love it to be seized. It feels natural. It feels like a natural connection in the moment of that connection was seized by you both.
Practice talking about racy subjects. Sexual topic should be an easy, free-flowing type of conversation that falls easily from your lips. This is showing that sex is an easy-going topic for you. This will also show that you are somewhat of a seductive person and have plenty of experience with women. They like that. It shows a skilled lover and a man who has been qualified by many girls previously. This will indicate to her that since you have been pre-qualified by many girls before her, she is less work to do. This actually is way more of a weighted qualification because girls never truly know how to properly qualify a guy. They keep trying in many different ways to cover obvious bases but there have been plenty of times before when they have done that and it not work out as they had expected.
“I am not the kind of guy that would just take a girl that caught his attention home the first night and give her a night of pleasure and continuous orgasms. I am not that easy. I see you have real potential to hold my attention but you can at least buy me a few drinks first.”
Another great way to turn up the thermostat for the heat of your interaction is simply to talk about kissing. Let’s say you been talking for five or 10 minutes and felt some genuine rapport developing between the two of you at some point when you are close in proximity during the conversation you can just ask her: “If I were to kiss you, on a scale of 1-10, how do you think I’d rate your kiss?”
At this point not only will she be trying to take pride at a presumed high score, she’s going to imagine kissing you. It will cross her mind at this point in the image is likely to pop in every so often since she started. At this time, I myself, since I was thinking about it as well, might start alternating my gaze from her eyes to her lips every so often. It might be nice to imagine what those lips taste like at this point. Because I do love the woman’s eyes sometimes I find it hypnotic to triangulate my gaze upon her. That is if you alternate from eye to other eye to her lips, this can feel very sensual just making the gaze that way. She will probably notice this too and feel sensuality from your gaze. I remember sometimes while doing this, girls have done either offhanded or explicit moves to get this happening.
Offhandedly they may just move close or get their face closer to yours. Explicitly, yet much less common and seen a girl come right in to kiss me on the lips. A few times when they had done this it seemed like they were distracted for a second as they came in for the kiss and then went on with talking as if they just had to satisfy a sudden craving distraction.
Sometimes hints may work better than anything else. Let her mind play with what you stated but then move on. There is no need to make your coy statements and then stop speaking because you’re waiting for her reaction. “I have a bottle of whipped cream in the fridge. You should come home with me and help me finish it off. The bouncer here reminds me of Jim Gaffigan.”
If you do make a statement and sort of positive her reaction, watch her carefully. If you see in her face and/or body that she isn’t heated up enough for this yet, you can take it away. “We should go back to my place and massage oil onto each other skin. I just picked up this kind that smells and tastes like mangoes.” (but if you do see her face showing anything but eager anticipation…) “No, wait a second. You are pretty tall I don’t think I have enough for your body.”
You see, before you took it away you illustrated a nice semi-sexual picture of imagery and her brain. Women love the imagination since theirs does paint magical pictures. Even if she had a bit of hesitancy to your suggestion, don’t worry, the picture will stay for a while and it will flash back every so often.
As you know, any ‘No’ she says is simply ‘No’. That’s easy. She wont even say it unless it is real But when it comes to subtle hesitations things are different, so I hate to see guys interpreting the worst out of these. If she did find a place to express her minor hesitation, like anything else, it is all a joke until it’s taken seriously. Laugh it off. Laugh heartily and then change the subject. Women are very funny like this when you don’t need to take their comments in a moment to be much at all. Many times she has many rejections. It is to satisfy her need not to look like the stereotypical ‘slut’. Most girls seem to have a need to establish themselves away from the stereotype. I think by laughing it off and not taking it seriously or personally rather, shows the insignificance you find in the stereotype anyways.
This also shows that you take any rejection towards you as kind of a joke. Since girls usually fall into your arms and you understand she is saying what needs to be said to establish herself as a non-slut, all you can do is laugh it off. You heard it, you accept it, you allow her to establish what she needs to (as not having behaviors that would classify her as a ‘slut) but still not taking it too seriously or personally.
Most of the time, I find that girls need to get their protest to be ‘on the record’. Once this is said they feel a little freer to give in to their desires and go with their attraction. I see most often that girls do not want you to stop your pursuit based on this ‘technical rejection’. Now things can go along as you both want. This is why are found laughing it off to be the easiest acceptance of it. You accept the fact she wants her minor protest to be heard but nothing more since it wasn’t an outright ‘No’..
You don’t need to have a smooth transition into some of these things. It may take some practice but often being very comfortable in a major change in tempo of the conversation you’re having can be quite charming to a girl. This can show you have major balls, which is nice.If you have the comfort to adjust the tempo of a conversation from casual then easily slipping in a sexual innuendo shows you are very confident and comfortable with your sexuality. This is very attractive.
21st century has been seen to stifle many people’s free expression of the sexuality inside of them. You don’t have to be a part of that. Being very bold when you first approached her and then bolt throw your interaction shows you are not ‘just another average guy’. Keeping the tension up, and keeping her slightly intimidated is a sweet spot for you both. When you can introduce these dramatic tempo changes to the conversation it goes to reveal that you are person who you never know what to expect from him.
After laying out somewhat of a foundation of that, let me cover a part of the ‘rejection’ topic. There really is no such thing until the woman says “No” or something of that specific nature. This is another reason why I personally prefer open-ended questions and sometimes indicating my desired intents with a statement rather than a question. When you start getting into racy topics (and other topics actually) you will see that any lack of explicit rejection is actually acceptance.
In the case of yes/no questions think of it this way, if you were to say something like: “Do you want to…” and she feels she needs to say “no” to maintain her image as proper and that is what she’ll do. This being said, if you were to say something like: “Let’s go do this…” and she has no reply than she is for the suggestion. If she is specifically and directly not for the suggestion she will go ahead and say something along the lines of indicating that she doesn’t want to or she can’t or it’s not possible for some reason.
Remember that in many cases any lack of negation to your suggestion is a girl’s way of accepting it. To make a suggestion without it being a yes/no question, you can say something like “We should go to my house to smoke hookah and get my cat to chase the laser pointer.” Or something like “We should go back to my place and watch my cat do back flips while you give me a massage.” If she says nothing then your suggestion has generally been accepted. You don’t have to consider her ‘not into it’ unless she says something like “No, that’s not a good idea” or another thing along those lines. The only other time I can think of she may indicate she is not into it if she is not his while you’re on the way were about to leave to then she may indicate it then. Otherwise she is all for it. As a standard, girls don’t normally say something like “Yeah let’s go do that.” They will go along with what they think may be fun until they don’t.
While you are having a great time enjoying each other’s company, you should just presume, as you would with any other friend that she is coming home with you. Don’t go in at all of these unspoken and unfounded expectations of negation where they’re not necessary. Do not make an issue of a non-issue.
Making these random comments with sexual undertones is a part of what I explained as foreplay and my detailed passages about sexy-time. Foreplay should not begin when you decide to get sexually intimate, as an ‘all of a sudden’ event. You should consistently be flirting and sprinkling in seductive comments throughout your conversation with a girl you have a sexual interest in. A girl’s imagination is a beautiful thing.
When our thoughts are brought to sexy places it can start her arousal and maintain it at mild levels way before any touching happens. Doing this consistently and steadily along with a slow teasing physical foreplay can bring the woman to unknown heights in their orgasm.
Girls do want a bold confident man. While many guys try to sneak their way in to an interaction with a girl with crafty, clever lines… if you just go in with your boldness this will make quite an impression in itself.
You can begin your flirting and sensuality and spoken foreplay from the very minute you say hi to a new girl. It is subtle yet this is revealing all your cards on the table in a way. Girls have been hit on since they hit puberty. There is no way for any guy to approach her with intensity in his mind and are not able to see through it. It is much easier if you just cut all of the bullshit. When I approach a girl it is no secret that she caught my attention. I am now talking with her to see what she is like, to see if she can hold my attention, to see if I want more of my time to be spent with this girl. When a guy comes up to a girl unafraid of any ‘risk of rejection’ or what have you, then all of a sudden she sees a shinier apple presented to her.
I have found it to be perfectly fine and very well accepted to have my intentions obvious. It seems like some guys are trying to sneak their way into a girl’s attention and coerce her to the bedroom without her realizing what’s going on. This does not happen, this is not seduction. Recently while at a mall with a friend of mine we decided to go into Spencer gifts. As you’re walking and my friend was telling me that the store now had quite an extensive sex toy selection.
While walking in I saw it was a cute girl was working the register that day so my first sentence to her was: “My friend tells me that this is a sex toy shop nowadays. Is that true?” With this little piece of information I was able to start our conversation on a somewhat sexual level. When she tells me the story is as I suspected I ask her to show me her collection. As we get over to the section of the store I tell her that I was curious about vibrators. I then asked her to tell me which is the best or which is the most popular. She goes on to show me the first model that she thought of. I will not ask her questions of the reasons it was supposedly better than the rest. While she was explaining its features I simply gazed upon her. I looked into her eyes, enjoyed gazing upon her face and neck and listening to the sexual topic she was describing and the sensual way she was describing it.
As she was explaining the features of this first vibrator I went on to ask her:”Does the nice sounding features of this vibrator cause a woman to lose the novelty, enjoyment of the real thing, of a real penis?” With utter sincerity, she went on to tell me with a very sophisticated sounding know-how that this absolutely was not true. “From my perspective, and understanding both, although this is very nice there is nothing like a real penis. There is nothing like skin on skin.” She was getting very sexy and describing this and seemed to want to prolong the conversation so she went and picked up a second model and describe its features. I merely listened and enjoyed the sensuality I was watching come into her as she described the sexual nature of these devices.
A girl enjoys a bold and confident man who has no qualms about touching upon the subjects because then again, by doing this you show her that the subjects are absolutely acceptable in conversations between the two of you. She will know now that she can freely express how she feels about such topics. Forget any ‘risk’ of possible rejection you are thinking. I think you should embrace and dance with these risky topics to get yourself comfortable with them and indicate to her that you are comfortable with her talking of them. Women love sex more than we men do. Once she feels she has established herself past the anti-slut protocol, and these topics have a perfect comfort ability as when shared with you, she will feel like she can enjoy you and her own sexual experience without being (looked down upon.)
I hear and see many guys who think that the minor rejections are something they earned. In essence that is really not the case. You see, women have these built-in automatic rejections to hand out to the general male crowd. Girls want to ensure they have high standards for which man they get with. If they can toss out a simple easy rejection to their approach and he drops the issue, then that was easy. She now filtered through and eliminated a weak sort of man. Girls have the negation to incoming males built-in is an automatic. They have been pursued and approached by men since puberty. Guys have whistled at them from driving by, guys have ‘Cat-Called’ them from the construction site and guys have ogled them on the beach since they grew boobies.
Get over the pride. Hearing these minor statements of rejection is really nothing. If you are subtly and not so subtly indicating your intent, you will see a few things. She will begin thinking about and imagining what sexy-time with you is like. She will see you are bold and candid and comfortable enough to be taking things all the way. And finally, somewhat based on her reaction, you’ll be able to see how much attraction has been built so you can gauge and decide your current actions with this girl and/or future actions with future prospects.
I told you that women are very much on the moment to moment basis and testing you. Personally I think of up several times I’ve stated a firm opinion on one side of the subject. The girl I was speaking with that expressed the opposite side of the same subject. I quickly acknowledged (not discrediting her point) but then went on to further illustrate the reasons why I feel the way I do. I’ve seen more than one case where a girls next comments will be those on the side of the issue that I originally expressed. seems they just throw these things out there to see the resiliance of a potential male in their world.
Life is funny, enjoy it. It is all a joke until it’s taken seriously and only take the part seriously which you wish to be a part of your world. What points a girl makes that you do take seriously is another reward in conversation that will inspire them to grow. Reward the ones that you like to have as a part of your world.
Since the best punishment from childhood on is merely ignoring, ignore all of those that you disagree with. You are merely paying attention to the ones you like therefore showing there a reason to elaborate those points. If she is getting no attention or acknowledgment about the points you don’t like she is very much less likely to elaborate on those. On the ping-pong table she got no pong to her ping.
…Anyways, it all started on my way back into Boston Common from DWTN Crossing, it was sunny, a nice day just to randomly greet people. I said ‘Hi’ to random interesting people I passed, started little 3 min convos, smiled and wave-acknowledged a bunch. I could feed the birds if….
At the moment she came into scene, I was on one side the crosswalk headed back to the commons courtyard. As I stand there, I scan everybody as I always do and I see her. She is an absolute ‘true10′ but without the ‘I hate the world’ look on her face. Out of the 15-20 people on that side of the street, she stuck out to me like a flamingo in a pack of seagulls, but she wasn’t covered in make-up. She wasn’t decked in ‘look-at-me’ clothes, just a [private]pair of jeans and a button down shirt.
That’s what caught my eye the most. She had an ‘agenda-free’ look, no expressions, no mask held up. She was a good 20 years old but had the un-city like innocence on her face. She had model beauty, but naturally.
I have my sunglasses on so I continue to look like I’m scanning as I watch her (my head slowly gazing back and forth, while my eyes were on her). If I wasn’t wearing my sunglasses, I would have checked her out in my peripheral sight while not showing that I noticed her till she was close enough to open.
You know how girls flirt subconsciously with their body language? They fix their hair, their shoes, or position their pose in an attractive way. Speaking in girl speak, I know some off handed body language motions that get them looking.
Girls do get shielded when they know guys are looking at them. When the walk light goes on I casually walk across the crosswalk but I am moving towards where I would be passing next to her.
As we pass each other, to play out as if seeming like I just noticed her, I simply smile and say ‘Hello’ and tilt my head back, greeting-ly. (tonality is key here, and have found the ‘Hello’ gets a lot more responses than the ‘Hi’ because you can draw out the elongated vowels, saying it in a slow sexy tone.)
She says “Hi’ back to me on her way past. I did a swoop around (which I hardly ever do, but she did catch my attention very well). I walk her direction and stop her just on the sidewalk where I started. We are in front of Finagle a Bagel, next to the crosswalk.
“Well, You ARE ugly…” (I said this while smirking, she definitely knows I’m joking) “…but something is drawing me to want to see what you’re like, find out more about you…HI, I’m C.j.” and I stick out my hand.
Now when I stick out my hand to shake a girl’s hand, this isn’t a business meeting. I am not trying to show her I have a firm handshake, I don’t need any alpha over tilt.
I offer her my hand, solid connection then my palm up holding hers in it. I can give her the most welcoming hand shake so she can feel most comfortable right now. She needs to have a first impression before she’ll feel safe following my lead. Or being in the tension I will be creating.
I don’t not pull my hand back after the standard amount of greeting time; it’s easy to leave it there for as long as she wants to leave hers in it. She doesn’t feel like I’m gripping, just matching her pressure. Often we pull our hand back like we do in a regular nice-to-meet you handshake. This hold open is saying to her in Body language: ‘you have caught my attention, I am still curious’ I leave my eyes mostly in hers while her hand is in mine.
We chat, most of my eye contact on her eyes with quick scans every so often, to think of things and not to seem like a staring psycho. Her hand is still in mine. I am not gripping it, I am just open handed lightly solid.
She tells me she is from Russia; I practice my single Russian phrase with her. “Kahk DeeLah” (written phonetically). We chat a little and I notice her friend is standing a few feet behind her. I can tell from this, that she would get pulled by her friend or pull herself from this to not keep her friend waiting.
I tell her of an outdoor salsa class I am headed to later; I give her the time constraint of: “Well, I was going this way…” (She just starts to slowly pull her hand out of mine), “….and I have to feed the birds…” (she didn’t notice how ‘non-pressing’ that is, time-wise.) “…but let me see your cell phone, we can talk later.”
She pulls her phone out as if she was going to punch the number in herself, but I pretended not to notice, and was holding out my hand expectantly. She finally hands me the phone.
The picture on the phone’s screen was probably why she didn’t want to hand me the phone in the first place, but I’ll get into that in a bit.
I punched in my number, called my phone, and then described to my voice mail everything I just learned about this girl in the few minutes we talked. I hang up & tell her that I will call her a little later and walk on my way.
About 30 min later, I text her saying that “I should be finished at 5:00 and will call you then.” Yes, I did text her30 min after meeting her: I planned on keeping this temperature going.
I got her flirty temperature up while we talked. I knew if I was going to manage this I’d need to keep it up. I text in 30 minutes, call an hour later about a same day event.
I know that when you text things like that, they wait and are thinking about you the whole time until you call. She also is ready to talk to you when you call, she will be a little bit more…um how could I say this?… ‘State-prepared.’
I end up getting caught up in other things when I realize it is 5:45, so I call.
I get her voicemail message. Then a recording tells me her voice mailbox is full. Ok, I carry on.
I saved my name into her phone, so if she has caller ID she’ll know that I called. If she calls back – great…. if she flakes – oh well. She caught my attention for a few minutes.
Then at 5 minutes to six I get a text from her:
She says: “Its almost 6!! ”
So I see she got my text. I am guessing she saw my call on ID, but who knows. Now she is telling me by subtext, “ok C.J., call me now, I will answer.”
I call her. I tell her about the salsa in the park and ask where she is at his very moment. She tells me she’s in the Common
“Great, I’m over by the ‘Park St’ staircase, meet me here and we’ll go over to salsa together.”
This is all part of the ‘Assume the Close’ I just told her about the event, expected she would be dying to go, and told her what to do next to come along. (To be continued)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was explaining this to a buddy of mine on a different situation. If she doesn’t want to go, she’ll stop things & indicate it clearly or say it clearly. There is no need to ask her anything. Just lead. If she follows – great, if not – lead to something else.
Hear what she says in words when it comes to her denials. I don’t try to read signals, and tones, and subtext unless they are compliances, unless they are the message I want to hear. Interpretations of subtext are so broad/vague. Guys are not built to read between the lines.
The only: ‘Supposed to’ to define in this interaction are the words. Meanings beyond what is said, while girls get that naturally, if you have learned this, Great. Since the interpretation is open, read the ones you want to hear. (& her seeing which ones you read is a reward to her. She will keep giving back the ones picked up on, the positive ones.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(resume)
So, I Tell her of the good time at the salsa. Then I tell her what her next step is, & that it’s easy on her part. We can go from there….
I sit on the planter next to the stair case and am going through my date book paperwork. I think she is coming with her friend. We can all go the Salsa, I can work them like a two set, and some other dance partner will keep her friend occupied.
When she comes over, She gets my attention & is by herself now. (This is a signal her interest; did she ditch her friend to hang out with me alone?)
I stand up, give her a hug, lean back while holding her arms and check her out (I look from eyes all the way to shoes, then back to eyes. My smile brightens in the scan to be brightest back into her eyes as I start a new thread)
I tell her a bunch of details about the salsa as I put my hand on her lower back to guide her to the direction of the staircase.
And I keep talking, no questions to her are needed here, I just ramble along about my day. Girls are usually nervous at the start of dates and such. They want you to be talking & keeping the spotlight off them till they warm up a bit…..this always works for me.
Don‘t worry about it, after they get talking, they love to ramble on. Then you can ask her open ended questions to keep her rambling. At this point, she’ll interrupt if she has something to tell me.
We walk downstairs to Park St. cut across underground tunnel to Downtown to grab the orange line. I body language vibe her the whole way.
I take her hand into mine (as if I am testing it, in my head) then I toss it down like it was covered in cooties. I do that as I’m talking about something else. I pay no mind to it, but it does get filed in her mind, you’ll see the expression on their faces as you get better at vibing.
As we walk, sometimes I will take her by the shoulders and move her to my right side as we walk. That is the side I prefer her on, and this keeps touching, leadership, and her compliance momentum.
I lead her to the right direction at points with my hand on her lower back. Trust me, when you do this they get the feeling of being protected. Its great touching and comfort all wrapped in one move.
As I passed other cute girls walking by, I smiled at them and said ‘hi’ to some. This reminds this Russian girl I am social to chicks. She sees girls along the way smiling at me and saying hi. These unknown girls will return ‘hi’s and smiles much better because I am walking with a girl and totally non threatening.
They don’t think they have to be defensive to my greetings. I couldn’t be hitting on them since I am with a beautiful girl. And if I was, that’s good too because I must be a prize (pre-selected) walking with her….
I know a bunch of people are thinking that these moves make a girl jealous and will screw up chances with her. Not only does it do the opposite, but has this girl earned any of my affections yet?
While waiting for the orange line, I was leaning one arm on the post and she leaned on the same post facing me, leaning her shoulder. She let her face be near mine while we were talking. She just pulled her hair out of her face, turning her head towards me but close, letting her hair fall on her face again.
I just pushed her hair back off her face, letting my fingertips slightly brush her cheek. She doesn’t break her gaze from mine or move back from my touch at all, so now I know. I let my hand find its way from her cheek and hair to the back of her neck and pulled her to me to kiss.
So I started kissing her there. One five minute open, a text, a re-meetup with a hug… a bit of touching, affection push/pull then ten minutes later a kiss. Things happen that fast when you’re plowing on in the vibe, reading and sending the signals. 93% of communication received comes with Tone, Vibe, and Body Language. It seems like a born-with skill, but this like any clever opener, can be learned and mastered.
It was all about reading her cues and vibing that got her here. If I didn’t kiss her at that moment, she could/would have blocked it later. She was in a moment I could seize.
Now we were getting on the packed train, I know she is coming along to my event. There is no need to keep her entertained, so I sit in one empty seat, she stands by the doors. We just kissed, so I’ll give her a chance to let that sink in. It is very key to give girls little breaks, little takeaways that give her the space to come to you. The break from your attentions let her have something to miss.
We get off the train & walked trying to find the salsa park.
We held hands some, like girl & guy buddies, and then I stopped and got interested in something we were passing. I came back to her to decide to kiss her after looking at her a moment. (I takeaway, then back in with a little escalate in level but then I take away again. This is great at building great tension.)
We traded stories about our life. She told me she was a model. I picked up her hands and asked her
“What, a hand model?” So then I talked about Jergen’s and nail polish ads, while she tried to correct me
“No real model!!” she said
I defended them. “That nail polish models work hard you know. They are just as hardworking as the…”
This just got her laughing and still wanting to correct me.
So we went to the park-salsa, danced a little bit, made out along the way. I would stop her along the walk for a kiss, then she would come at me when I stopped the make out early, pushing her away a little. Sometimes when it would escalate in intensity, I would push her back from then too. We’re out in the world; all I want to do out here is build up tension.
“Not here….” I said. We were on the sidewalk or leaning on a store side. “We have a dance class to get to.”
We went to the salsa for a bit, danced some. She wasn’t really into it. She sat on the bench for a while watching while I danced with the other girls. I kept an eye on her to watch if she was getting bored.
Then we bounced to Copley to walk around. We both were push/pulling the whole walk. I would wander too far ahead then she would call me back. Then she would catch up and keep walking right past me until I caught up with her.
I called her on my cell phone. She answered. I told her to stop. She did. I told her to turn around as I was walking towards her. She did that too.
But when I got to her I looked her in the eyes, held eye contact as I kept walking. I gave her a “hmmpht!’ sound for acknowledgment, joking disregard. This was all very playful, like little kids teasing to be the lead.
She followed me, asked where I was headed next. I turned around, took her hands and started talking about Copley spots like they were fun-park rides… or at least in that excitement I explained with.
We wandered around, between random make-outs, and sat on some park benches talking. At one point she pulled out her compact mirror and was checking her hair or whatever….but for way too long and rude while we’re talking.
I am not down with the vanity thing, she can hit the restroom. I also needed to pull her out of her own head. She was dreaming if she thought she could hold may attention with her looks alone.
I just stood up and walked over to another park bench as I went through my Blackberry checking my email.
She continued to be checking herself in the mirror, yet glancing at me every so often. My takeaway didn’t fully work.
Even after a few minutes went by, she looked absorbed, but girls are always on scan-mode, monitoring things in their peripheral even when they don’t look like it.
I got up from my bench and walked the other direction and behind a structure that you couldn’t see through.
My walking path led me to be right behind her bench. I went there but she wouldn’t see where I was because the structure blocked her view.
I also wanted to finish my email but still keep an eye on her; once she was done in her mirror we could have fun again.
Then I get a text: “Why are you always leaving me?” It was from her.
I just walked up from behind her bench, sat next to her and said: “Relax kid, I’m right here, I was just taking care of my email tasks so I wouldn’t have to worry about them later.”
I told her of where I was going next, which was in Brighton, closer to where I live.
“There in a pizza joint & a few cool clubs.” You always have to frame these ideas as things that are already going on, and she can come along. That keeps the pressure off us both.
Now I don’t get too firm in plans. If I want to hang out with her, if she definitely doesn’t want to go along on the event I chose, I just modify my lead, pick a new place for now.
She said no at first, I told her that we could go there later, and started walking to my train. She followed but it was the train that was going where we said anyway.
This next part is weird, I hardly understand it, but it is how it happened: We went to the Arlington st. Greenline station, and would be taking a ‘B’ line to get where I intended. We talked and chatted and joked and laughed as all the other letter trains came by.
I greeted a few girls there and while walking through the station, nothing direct just easy going ‘hello’s. I was bouncing my attention back and forth from my girl and away to someone/something else. Then a ‘B’ train came.
I stood up, and held my hand behind me for her to take it. She didn’t take it, first time all day of me offering it. She said something about not wanting to to go, but she was up standing and a few steps to the train. “Alright, It was fun meeting you…” as if I was leaving.
She stood there with with a look of the blues in her eye, so I pulled her back to the bench as I sat next to her, looking at her uncertainty and I started laughing. The ‘B’ train took off.
“I am going to the Hookah-bar, and then maybe grab a bite to eat in Brighton. It would be great if you came along, but I have better things to do than hang out in a train station. Why don’t you go home for now, it’s been a long day. You’d have a
great time at these places I am going too; I just have to take the next ‘B’ train that comes through. ”
She had no response so I just went on telling stories and chatting about other things. I explained what the next few steps of mine would be. She stayed engaged in the conversation, and I left some open loops to keep her in curiosity, keep her wanting more.
So I did. I got on the next ‘B’ and she came along. We went to Allston, touched base with a lot of my friends in these places. Then around 10 or so, we talked of going to the playground for a little while.
So far at
this point I have about 4 hours of flirting that led this whole thing to be where it is:
We were
at the bus stop, to go to the playground I intended. She was sitting on the bench, her elbows on her knees, her head on her hands facing down. I was standing up waiting for the bus and she looks up at me and says:
“I am Tired….. I want to go home, or I want you.”
I stopped, I thought about what she just said.
Of course I
was taken aback to what I just heard, but I showed nothing. I looked at her again and said as I would say to anything she would have said that I didn’t hear. “I’m sorry, what was that you said?”
“I am tired. I want to go Home, or I want you.” she repeated verbatim.
I thought for a minute. We had been kissing, I was building up her tension all day by stopping early and the ‘almost kisses’ that drive ‘em crazy. Where I have my face close, my lips close, but I smell her skin, the air rushing over as I inhale.
“Ok… let me check one thing.” I said. I sat down next to her and kissed her like I meant it, a real passionate kiss. I stood up and said “Okay.” and stuck my hand out for a cab.
….you can easily change her mood, not her mind. Stay non-reactive no matter if you are getting results that differ from what you wanted. Being non-reactive is very attractive. Make sure you are having fun.
If you aren’t having fun, she wont have fun. Girls like to follow the lead and a fun lead is better than anything else.
There are conversational hooks. These are things to sprinkle into conversations that get girls asking you questions. They make for the stories to be more interesting for you to tell with getting asked for more along the way…
…and they are more interesting to hear since they are working with active participation from your conversational partner.
“Then I said, “I got my own theory about enlightenment…but…ah…never mind, I don’t want to bore you with my awesome theory.” She steps closer and says, “Wait, I want to know!” I reply, “I don’t know…it seems like you’re just saying that just to be nice.” She said that she was being really sincere.”
Good conversational hook. Those ways you can phrase things in conversations and stories that get her asking questions, her eager to her more & asking for it. Another great part in keeping the chasing momentum to be in your favor.
“..dont want to bore you with my awesome story.” Has both the indication that it is a really great story and that you might not be telling it unless she asks for more.
I say: “Actually I was just [private] being social. But honey, accusing a stud like myself of hitting on you is not a good way to get me to like you more. Try being yourself,I like that. But don’t expect to get in my pants, I am more than piece of meat for you to enjoy ” [/private]
Hands in pockets looks as if you don’t want to talk or you are hiding something.
When talking to people, keep your hands out visible and show your palms a lot. This shows you have noting to hide and are a safe person to be talking to. Seeing your palms open will put those you are with [private] at ease and will have them more comfortable sharing with you.
“When men lie, their body language can be obvious. women are in tune with this fact, of body language being obvious, so they like to look busy when they are fabricating stories.”
With your hands open and your palms visible, this appears more credible and more open.
In addition to the way people appear, as the frequency of open palm gestures becomes habit the keep much more of their communication to be honest. It is one hand washing the other. Not only will you look more honest, you will become more honest by speaking with your hands open and palms facing who you are talking to more often. Other people seeing these open palms will also put more pressure on them to be truthful witch is a more comfortable space for you both to share.
People also want to share more seeing the palm. Think of a time when after you have made your point, you tilt your palm up to the other person indicating that it is their turn to talk. These subtle signals are responded to so subconsciously, most people don’t realize why they are sharing so much.
[/private]
You are still that incredibly fun, interesting guy that she met. You have so many women that she has no idea if you are going to ask her out at all. You are totally un-needy. She wants you to tell her when and where to meet you. You don’t ask; you direct, since you are a leader.
Mainly, you want to reinforce in her mind…[private]
… that you are still that super fun guy she met, continue building lots of comfort (while keeping
the attraction fires burning), and last, but not least, get her to meet up with you.
The secret to good phone game is to be completely and totally un-needy. In any attractive woman’s life, there have been a million guys who she has her number to and lived to regret it; primarily because they made it a point to constantly ask her out at the slightest opportunity, whenever they had her on the phone. You are not going to be that guy. You are going to be that ultra-cool guy she wants to go out with but doesn’t give her any certainty that you will ever ask her out at all.
When you mention fun things you have in your upcoming plans, as soon as you hear her interest in them, it is so easy to suggest “Totally. I think we have room. You should definitely come along.”
“Our house almost got broken into when I was eight…but my if dad installed some swinging paint cans and some micro machines by the stairs that shit woulda never happened.”
You can either completely makeover your personality in order to impress her, or you can turn the tables and make her [private]do the work. When you put yourself in control of the situation, you are the one who has the power to reject her, because she believes you can have any girl you desire. If you use this method to psych yourself up, you can calm your nerves and loosen up a bit, which will make women actually fight to get your attention.[/private]
I can also see that my enthusiasm for the places I have been does more than [private]…even out the playing field.
“Oh my god! Costa Rica was like a picture perfect paradise you see in picture books. There were monkeys pulling candy wrappers out of the trash and a two foot tall brightly colored parrot in the tree nearby the picnic table we were sitting at..
The people were So friendly. As soon as they hear you trying a few Spanish phrases they make every effort with any English they know. I remember on more than one occasion, when I was asking directions, the people would walk with me most of the way to be able to point out the last stretch of the directions..
There were volcanoes spitting lava over the bay, waterfalls in every neighborhood we visited, and palm trees to coconuts wherever the could see.
The sunset over the bay stuck so hard in my mind, I had to paint what I remembered of it a few years later. It was an ever changing rainbow of opaly colors, shimmering on the water for the whole time we were eating dinner across the street from the beach…”
No matter what they are, facts can be boring. Enthusiasm and colorful pictures painted with your words can be very alluring and the enthusiasm is contagious. When I tell those stories I hear “I wish I was there” all the time.
As with all things resembling rejection, upon opening a girl and early in the interaction, she hasn’t rejected the guy who opened her. He can’t take it personally yet because she has no idea what he is like, how fun he is, how exciting he is, and all those things. She has a certain amount of blocking maneuvers built in. These will weed out the first level of guys; this will qualify the weaker ones out of her scope before she needs to do any serious qualification. It is sort of a time saving technique.
Almost all girls have an auto-responder built in. They are raised to be polite, so of course she will say “It was nice meeting you” as a way to give a hint to end the conversation. She hasn’t said (and most girls wouldn’t say): “I am done talking to you”… so I can take this hint as I haven’t sparked any interest/attraction yet which is fine. It is easy to change topics like the signal wasn’t noticed. By frequently changing topics and coming back to touch base on ones talked about is how old friends converse. By keeping this same eye for her signals open, I will see which topics engage her, interest her, excite her & spark attraction in her.
This, in a way, will speed up the amount of rapport felt between you both. When you keep changing topics & find a bunch of them that you agree on, you have rapport on a variety of topics, like old friends. Women don’t need to have their conversations run on a linear structure; they very much operate on a moment to moment basis.
Also by staying in the conversation & changing topics shows a masculine strength. Woman will stay polite as long as possible; it’s part of their social nature. This gives a man the opportunity to find her hot buttons. If one reads her silly ‘nice meeting…’ as a signal and cowers away, they’ve answered a qualification factor very quickly for her. She sees this as a man with not much to offer in depth & variety to his personality, one who had no other interests left quickly, saving her time.
If she walks away, that is an obvious explicit signal. Yes I keep my eyes and ears open to read the signals women send in subtext and indirectly, but I only respond to the ones that I like. I have heard girls blatantly disagree with an opinion point I have made. I am fine with disagreement, but I will just accept her point and further the reasons I have come to my conclusion. After hearing what I had to say I have heard girls make a second statement, agreeing with my point, as if she had never disagreed a moment ago. By continuously responding to the ones I like and not the other, I always see the frequency of positive ones picking up. The girl is getting a reward for the positive ones, with them being replied to, while the other ones are just ignored.
Being such social creatures, they seem to have a craving for approval (or explicit lack of) to be going one way or the other in any interaction they are in.
Ok, from last Wednesday…I decided to log out this clip. I went into the Logan cafe…as I love it there…I figured a quick sandwich and a soda….Some beautiful bunny was leaning on the brochure counter looking as if she is waiting for someone…She was pretty model stat…Good-‘propa-lady’ like dressed on top of a Bally’s body…She held herself well, and when our eye contact was made…She humbly dropped [private] her gaze to the ground…for a couple a seconds…When she looks back up to see if I am still looking…which I was…I scoped her setup head to toes…On her look up she dropped her gaze again then a good 30 seconds before she looked to the side and the brochures…I figured I would say hi….
C.J.: “Hi, I do have a question for you.”
Beautiful Bunny at the Logan cafe: “Sure, what’s that?”
(I pause… pause. I paused for fun…)
C.J.: “Are you single?” (In my emotionless stone cold straight face)
Beautiful Bunnie: “Well, um…”
C.J.: “I’ll take that as a yes…” (I nodded in the grin that I felt creeping on…)
Beautiful Bunnie: (Laughter)
C.J.: “Well, I just happen to know someone that I
think might like you… if you’re more than
just a pretty face, that is… He’s fun and has
great taste, and I think you’d like him… I’d
love to sit down and get your life story, but I’m
on my way somewhere… do you have email?” I asked…
Beautiful Bunnie: “Yes.”
C.J.: Great… (I take out my favorite astronaut pen)… write it down for
me, and I’ll send you an email when I’m in ‘online time’.
I then folded her slip of paper slid it into the breast pocket of my jacket and wished her a good day…[/private]
Since girls have hit puberty, guys have been chasing them in one way or another. Guys grow up thinking they have to buy a woman gifts, take her out to dinner, and earn her approval. Girls on the other hand have had it easy their whole life, so once they meet an interesting guy who is actually a challenge for them to have his attentions, their desire and attraction quickly escalates.
With something as simple as sexual tension, [private] you are taking the role of the pursued party in the interaction. To get this started, you show her sparks of interest and attraction, but never completely. You still do not know if she is cool enough to add to your social circle even, not to mention getting intimate with her. While she never really knows if you are really into her or not, since she is getting mixed messages from you & this keeps her in chasing mode to find out for sure. When she feels a slight interest from you, she wants it to be certain. I see guys who express a ‘clear interest’ in a girl once they first meet her. This will lose her attention quickly and she will walk around to find a more challenging guy.
Consistently giving her these mixed signals causes tension to build to the point where she can only see a release of it would be to get intimate/physical with you. Then she will have the definite answer she has been looking for. Then she will have her uncertainty answered. The conflicting feelings in her that have built this tension are the indication to her that you might be interested, you might be attracted to her but she’s not so sure.
When you first meet a woman you can have great results in trading and building this tension while you playfully watch her chase you in a variety of ways. You see, body language is a powerful force in all of this. You can give her some undivided attention with your eye contact and keeping your gestures to be welcoming to her…and then SUDDENLY you let your attention be grabbed by something else. In the middle of a high point you have generated in her (You got her laughing, or talking about passionate subjects, or she is touching you more frequently), you can cut her off mid sentence and go check on your friends or open another girl who is nearby.
While the girl is talking you can triangulate your gaze (look from eye to eye to mouth to eye to eye…) on her which will indicate a kissing-though in your mind but then quickly find something else to do. Girls pick up on these things so once you have the seed planted, you can bounce your attention to a different subject. Once she has noticed it will be in her thoughts underlying everything else for a while. This in itself indicated your interest for her, but it is not guaranteed.
For most of the time you can give her your shining friendly personality. Reward some of her jokes with your laughs, reward some of her flirts with flirts back but then take them away. You can tease her like a little sister but just enough playful so she want more of this fun razzing you are giving her.
It can be very in-your-favor to be doing things that are opposite of common courtesy.
Much of what I teach is that of ‘capturing the frame’ or showing that you do understand where girls are coming from. To have indications of knowing these will set you apart from most guys right away. You can make it like you are going through the same things she goes through with an average guy, but you are going through those same things with her.
Let me give you an example. “Now just because you bought me a drink doesn’t mean I am sleeping with you tonight.” You see that is a thought that goes through many girls minds every time a guy buys them a drink. Girls are very social creatures and very polite by nature. With human nature often thinking of reciprocity, she thinks that.
Sometimes on a first date with a girl I may say: “Ok but I insist on paying my half, if picked up the whole tab I’d think I’d owe you (as I give her the playful sexual smirk) something else later…” This also takes the wonder of who pays for the first date dynamic. I don’t go through great lengths paying for dates until I know that I want her to be a regular part of my life. Before that, we are just meeting up, feeling each other out and I am seeing if she qualifies to spend any more time with me after this.
Half of capturing this type of frame shows that you do know how girls think but also by playing the part of the one going through these things as if she is chasing you.
Post: #1
“No Kelly, I will NOT have sex with you…”
In high school, I felt that I was, in a way, an outcast, not your standard popular kid in high school. The way I was, was very unique. I actually was voted ‘most unique’ in both junior high and high school. Sure everyone knew of me, but I was always outside the box of normalcy.
Although I never was part of a clique, I would be friends with so many girls, ever since I was young. When I was in High School, I bet people thought I was gay since like the gay dudes, I had a ton of chick friends. Often this would have chicks talking of subjects that they may not discuss in front of other guys or guys they wanted. I never made such a big deal as I listened to their flirts and relationships, I just took notes in my head.
Here is what started how I learned most of the stuff I learned that kicked me into studying, writing & teaching social dynamics now for quite some time.
A huge revelation happened with one of my chick friends. This was, lets say: Kelly. She was a top notch popular girl. She might have liked my punky ways, but we were just friends, she was just one of my chick-friends.
The way people pass notes to kill time in a boring class, I was passing notes with this Kelly. We would usually just write senseless things and try to make each other laugh just to make the the class time go by.
One of the notes I wrote her, all I wrote was: “Kelly, No, no, no, no, no, no, no,….” about ten times. That’s it. That’s all I wrote & I passed it to her.
When I got it back & unfolded it. What she had written back was: “C.J., yes, yes, yes., yes, yes, yes,” about TWENTY times.
Just joking, or so I thought at the time, to make her laugh I wrote “No Kelly, I will NOT have sex with you.”
She took the note, unfolded it and started cracking up laughing, just what I wanted. Then just to play along she looked at me with a turned out, pouty bottom lip.
Kelly was a top notch hott, popular chick with tons of friends and all the guys wanting her. Any and every guy in school would trade a limb just to get 5 minutes in bed with Kelly and she knew it. No guy that knew who she was would think it would be a sane decision to tell her that he would NOT have sex with her, even if he was joking (just in case…ya never know).
At the time, I would have said I’d do anything to screw Kelly, except it was an idea so far out of my realm of believable possibilities, I never even thought of it.
Quote:
At the time I was always trying to screw a chick I hung out with all the time that kind of kept me in the friend zone, but would have sex with me every once in while since I was persistent and always playful about it. I never took things seriously. I never let her rejection get to me, I just laughed it off and tried another time. Staying playful/joking in my pursuits kept is always in an easygoing playful manner.
Like my other chick friends, Kelly & I called each other every so often…what I didn’t really notice at the time is that Kelly started calling me to say hi a bit more often. She turned her flirting up a noticeable notch. Now instead of just chick-friend, or friend-zone type of stuff, she started getting jokingly sexual and a bit demure on me.
At that time, I was still mostly clueless. I didn’t realize what was going on until a time after when I thought through the time-line of everything and put the pieces together.
We stayed friends, talking every once in a great while. I moved out of my parents house and rented a house a few towns away, about 30 minutes. And then came that time she called and wanted to come over for a random nothing reason.
I was clueless, told her to come over, then resumed the stupid silly talk we always do. I still didn’t think a thing…until she was laying back on my couch with squinty bedroom eyes, saying in that coy-playful voice: “C.J., come over here…” Still I was sort of clueless…until I got over to her.
She put both her arms around my neck and pulled me to her. I saw what was happening and just went with it. We fucked that day, in the middle of the afternoon, 2:30 or something. Then at some point after wards while we were lying in afterglow or something, she says to me: “Hey C.J. (with a little giggle) I thought you would not have sex with me.”
Of course, I didn’t say anything to that in the moment but I remembered that note I wrote to her trying to make her laugh. To be honest, I kept it as a trophy for a while after We first wrote it. Although it was joking, I would show my friends: “Look at this note me and Kelly wrote, she wants to bang me so bad…” I just wished that was true when I said it, not knowing a thing.
Wow. I was blown away. At first I thought I was way over-analyzing the situation. I didn’t know exactly but back then I was convinced that she came over to be seductive on me was that I wrote her a letter a time back. I thought the only reason she came over to get me to fuck her was because I told her in a note that I wouldn’t have sex with her. I couldn’t believe she remembered that note. I did.
This sent me into a serious trial and journal phase. I would figure out how to elaborate this concept so I could use it at my beck & call. I would modify it for whatever situation I was in, but the core of it was that I would be indicating to girls that I would not have sex with them.
I would indicate that I didn’t want to date them. I would let them know that they could not have my number.
The core of this whole concept was that I made it clear that I did not want a particular girl, in a joking way and she would start pursuing my attentions. I would do different things to try this out and I would journal my results.
Quote:
By the way, this is one of the biggest suggestions I could make to an aspiring PUA. Start yourself a journal and write down every interaction you possibly can. Have your accounts saturated with details. Every cause and effect should be noted. Write out the different things you say, the different things you do and how she responds. Write out her mood, her receptivity to you, what pissed her off, what made her laugh. I couldn’t think of anything that has helped calibrate me to where I am today.
So as I was doing these things based on the first concept, ideas & concepts about it began to flourish and evolve. I started meeting girls and they were going through great lengths to be chasing me.
I met one girl in a supermarket in Rhode Island. She lived in providence but stared coming to Massachusetts every weekend that I would let her. I met a girl from Florida at a concert in Saugertise NY. We traded numbers, kept in contact until she came up to Massachusetts for a week to hang out with me. This is the same girl who asked me why I wouldn’t kiss her. She kept working to have her way until she got it.
Now it wasn’t about absolute blocking the girl. As I first said, it was all in joking. Then to keep the momentum, it became a game, like dangling the yarn in front of the cat. You dangle it, but pull it out of the cat’s reach before it grabs it. Maybe you let it get a small piece every once in a while.
With a girl, instead of the yarn it was feelings of validation and approval. I would give them small tastes of the good stuff, then take me out of their reach, just barely out of their reach. They always had to work at keeping me interested, which they did. They never felt like I was a sure thing with them.
*There actually are ways on this same core principle that keeps relationships fresh, never boring. It is much different in design, but same concept with different applications. If you kept up with the first part throughout a relationship, a girl would leave you to never have the feeling of security that a relationship provides. I will go into depth of the points that are modified for a relationship, but before that is meeting them and getting them into bed.
Switch that around. Imagine what it would be like if your hott dream girl was always trying to get you into bed. You’d be wicked happy with that on a regular basis, wouldn’t you?
Since guys hit puberty, we go around chasing girls, trying to convince them to be with us. We try to impress them so they’ll let us kiss them. We try to offer a good solid model of a man that looks like a good steady boyfriend, one that she will be with because he is stable. we go around thinking that buying them dinner and impressing them will win their heart.
Those are are very valid points and most of them are useful but since we have been chasing girls since we hit puberty, it is almost like a relief when they are chasing us. A man who is being chased by a girl, a man who feels wanted on a regular basis can focus his efforts and energies on bringing them both to fun places, adventures and experiences that they both will enjoy and never forget.
The same thing happens with a girl. Since she hits puberty, there are guys trying to win them over, all over the place. There are guys bending over backwards to get an indication of their approval. Guys have been going though great pains to be accepted, and hopefully liked by her.
She had to put very little, if any effort into always having a guy at her beck & call. Sure she keeps her looks in order, but she doesn’t have to invest in the interactions to feel like she has won the whole game.
Quote:
You know girls like sex. You also know that people want more of those things they cannot have. What they want most are those things they almost can have but not quite yet, just a hair out of reach.
A girl is actually happier when she is chasing a guy she likes since she never has had to do that her whole life.
Girls are humble creatures by nature. They won’t make a big deal getting things started with a guy, but once a guy gets things rolling and she is comfortable enough, she will chase with hopes higher than that of a dog at a cookout.
So both the guy and the girl are actually happier, from start to every step of the way along the process, when she is chasing him. Once I realized this from much trial and recording results that I went through, it dropped any feeling that this might not be the right dynamic to pursue.
As I have seen in PUA materials, I don’t like the thought of underhanded manipulation in any way. There actually was quite a famous pickup guru that along with his misogynist indications, he always seemed like he was skilled in tricking girls to sleep with them so he could drop them at the curb. I didn’t like that.
I grew up with a single mother and have enormous respect for women. Many women and girls have been a huge part of my life, my whole life. But this whole dynamic of girls in pursuit of a guy was actually what women enjoyed most, so I pursued learning more.
That was over 10 years ago, the learning never stopped and keeps growing as I share with people to this day.
Sept Day GSF
You can treat it as a joke or that you know she must be joking to be worrying about such trivial matters. To achieve the joke, the idea is to build suspense, then mix the serious with the ridiculous.
For example, on a first date she asks: “How long has been since you been on a date?”[private]
Hearing this, I pause & look very serious. “Well, does my mom count? …because she escorted me to the Halloween ball in the third grade.” [/private]
When a girl starts giving out a bitch attitude, it is easy to bring her back up to a playful vibe:
“Ah, getting feisty eh? You know what I would [private] do?!? I’d dress you up in a red PVC devil outfit. Complete with the horns like thins and a tail…and some bitch boots with a pitchfork…and your friend here. She’s nice. I’d dress her up in a similar but angel outfit with wings and a furry halo. I’d roll with you guys, one on each arm down the street. Every girl would be jealous of you and every time I was to make a decision…I’d let each one of you fight over which decision is the most fun. Whichever is the most fun, we’d do that.”
Give it a try, it has brought giggles out of the bitchiest girls. Post your results in the comment box below. Let your adventure Continue! [/private]
While I am talking to a new girl and things have found their way to something boring I may ask: “Now that we are talking, I have a question for you. Do you think [private]magic spells work? I never believe in that hocus pocus but just recently I had an amazing thing happen. Hey let me show you something. Give me your hand. Stand up for a second.”
As I lead her up, she stands up. Then I maneuvered my place to be behind her to sit where she was just sitting. “I just stole your seat.”
I am laughing at this point “Nah, I’m just kidding, stay close. I want to try an experiment, I have to go in a second and then you can have your chair back
People love a great story teller! A well told story can captivate someone to experience EVERYTHING as it is told as if they are actually having the experience themselves.
You will find those around you drawn in when you ensure all the basic elements are in place for a well told story.
[private] 1.Every story must have a purpose and should be fitting for the occasion.
2.A good story is fun to tell and fun to hear.
3.The story should have humor and be able to create laughter from the listeners.
4.Consider what you want your listeners to think and feel. Illustrate the events in a way that will induce those feelings.
5.Be animated in your movements.
6.Some exaggeration can be fun, but keep yourself credible.
“Compliment the beautiful on their intelligence, and the intelligent on their beauty.”
-Casanova[/private]
Talk to her for a few minutes then walk away and do something else (this is key when [private] you see she is at a high point because of your interaction.
This keeps her wanting more. You can make her want what you have, what you are. Give her a little and then tease her a bit.
Do not make anything easy to get. Stay mysterious.
There is no need to answer questions about work so early. Be vague, especially if you have a really good answer. The most confident people never need to brag. Never give a woman a direct answer.
Play with her a little bit. Answer questions with questions. Get her to commit to something. If she complains or doesn’t like something, turn it up and give it back the way you would to our little sister.
Never give a woman exactly what she asks for. Always send mixed signals. Tell her “let’s be friends” at random times to show her she is in danger of getting stuck in your ‘friend-zone’ and nothing else.
Be unpredictable. Keep mixing it up and changing the patterns. Be distinctive, not boring. As far as showing your interest, take two steps forward then one step back. That would be two steps that indicate your interest to her, with a separate single one to indicate you’re not interested.
Keep up the tension. Like playing poker, always raise & call her bluff. You can lead and move forward very confidently. There is no need to apologize, act apologetic or insecure. Don not try to get any approval or look like you are trying to impress people, especially girls. Softies are for the dryer[/private]
It is okay, this is a good place to indicate your feelings on these things. it is better to have everything on the table than [private] to have her stand you up. This way, you are more likely to go out with her at another time. You can easily tell her something like:
“There’s one thing I hate it is flakey people. You sound like you weren’t sure about this. If you’re not gonna show up, that’s cool but wasting my time is not.”
****************************
To a really gorgeous girl with a super tight, hott body: “You know, you have a really interesting figure.”
[/private]
Cj Clark Piona
3 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona You can make whatever you dream of happen as turn within your life, full force…and if you appreciate every little success along the way…each piece and part that comes to you, it seems to come in a flourish of over ten-fold than ever expected possible…
2 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona that is how it has been for me anyways…realizing the beginnings of all of this started for me in fullest force, last spring, February/March 2010 or so…
2 minutes ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona then completely exploded in never-ending waterfall of all I had dreamed of in amounts that bring my to the uncertainty even in emotion, to laugh or cry or shout at the sky HUGE THANK YOU’s to all of the universal higher powers, what I know to be God of my universe, our universe…in fuller force than I ever thought possible. Thank you., and Thank you too Joni. Comments like yours remind me of all of the wondrous windfalls to be more saturated in them, immersed in the feelings
about a minute ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona of appreciation and MORE than my ever-ready nature to share everything and anything I have learned along these lines…to show someone else to have all of this is what makes me feel complete in my purpose…and the sperm who won the race to the egg, that third of a century ago. Thankful.
I see she is engaged in the conversation and curious. I can use that time of curiosity to my advantage. Sure I will get back to the story at some point, but let’s make sure we have time together later for me to tell her this one and whatever else I may [private]have to offer later.
So I tell her: “Ya totally…..I’ll tell you later. What are you doing after this?”
Then I wait to see if she invites me. The most I might say is “That sounds like fun.”
… friendshipsand romanticrelationships. The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of [private]research in social psychology. Interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, love, dislike, or hate someone. It can be viewed as a force acting between two people that tends to draw them together and resist their separation. When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy. It is suggested that attraction between people which leads to friendships and romanticrelationships. The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of research in social psychology. Interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, love, dislike, or hate someone. It can be viewed as a force acting between two people that tends to draw them together and resist their separation. When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy. It is suggested that to determine attraction, personality and situation must be taken into account.
In essence I tell Mya that I don’t want to fuck a girl based on appearance, I want to fuck a girl based on what I find inside.
I can look at beautiful woman, but beauty is common. I have dated too many tens/models/strippers than I’d like to admit… but for me to want any sexy-time out of a situation, I need a girl who can entertain my insides.
Since beauty is too common, there are three things I look for. A good personality, a good energy, and a good outlook.”
I look her down then up to her eyes: “You got two out of three, its a good start.”
Then she wants to know which ones she has & which one she is missing. Things turn into a playful cat & mouse as I change the subject.
There is no reason to show off. The most successful people with the greatest achievements talk about them like they are very insignificant.
I have heard different guys’ response to a girl’s questions of “What do you do?” go into a very dramatic long, detailed answer where he thinks he is being subtle about how cool he is, or how prestigious his job is, or how smart he is to have gotten there or how wealthy he is because he did.
This looks very insecure and women are masters at seeing through this type of thing.
Usually with a qualifying type question like that, I am [private]flattered that she is interested enough at this point to want to know more but I still give her a teasing/joking (Obviously BS) answer and spin it back to her, have her qualifying herself to me. “Ya, I have finished school for it and now I am working by scraping the gum off the bottom of seats at movie theaters. Very demanding nowadays…What do you do?”
Or I may tell her “I jump out of cakes at birthday parties.” Or “I am a disposable lighter repairman. 4 years of schooling finally paid off. “
Usually the girl laughs or chuckles to my joke, then goes on to tell me seriously about her career paths. Now this has the momentum generated of her qualifying herself to me, working to win my approval.
When I do get to what I do for work, rather than tell her what it is, I explain to her all the reasons I love what I do. I’ll talk about how I got into it, and how it fulfills me very much. “When I was a kid my dad told me to think of something that I would do all day/every day for nothing. Once I could earn a living doing that, I am successful. At this point, I am as close to that as I can imagine, and the direction I am in, what I have planned gets even better.”
Even as she asks me for details I stay very vague at this point. I spend the time talking about the fulfillment it gives me to help people to their successes, or examples of why I love what I do.
I tell her: “You know what? I’m gonna make you my girlfriend for the next 5 Minutes, I hope you won’t stalk me when we break up. ”
Then I start the plot line for our little shared imagination movie: “Since we only have 5 minutes, we need to [private]make this really good, ok? Good. So girlfriend, how’s your mom? Tell her I said thanks for the birthday gift, but it really didn’t fit. No, don’t tell her that part, I loved it!” as I am laughing with her since it so silly.
To re-engage the scenario, I pick it back up in a few minutes: “Hey girlfriend, I have something to tell you: I’ve been cheating on you…with your best friend.”
She was mockingly defensive: “Oh no! How could you?” and playing along.
“I’m really sorry girlfriend (I continue to call her: “girlfriend” too, not her name. It was fun to stay in character, even if sometimes I used a gay voice to say it. )
“I couldn’t help myself.” I continued “I’m just really sexual… you know that!” as we played charade kiss & make up scenes, to keep the goofiness going. [/private]
let the lull in conversation happen. It is okay. This can even be a [private] form of compliance test. Wait until she starts conversation, girl’s nervous energy during silences can work in your favor at this point.
Once I see her trying to invest a little more, I may cut her off, knowing she is attentive. “Ya, hold that thought. What I wanted to ask you and tell you was…” and then continue those fun topics from before or ones like them.
[/private]
Today when you go out, I want your energy to be spilling into everything that you do.
We know that high energy people are very attractive and lack of energy ones seem to be often avoided. We see low energy people and feel they would be sucking energy from us but high energy people will fill us with [private]that juice of life!
Project your burst of energy by maximizing your smile to each person you greet & each person who hold your eye contact through a whole second. Like every muscle, the smile is something to exercise into place and you will find it actually makes you feel happier while working this set of muscles out to their fitness. Also people you pass each day will be returning your smiles which adds to this inner-bliss.
Like the smile muscles, workout your laugh muscles. You can laugh and laugh loud and laugh frequently. Keep pushing it. If you hear something a little funny, laugh a little more than you would normally. This becomes an easy habit. When there is nothing to laugh about, you may be laughing about a joke you heard yesterday or an interesting ironic observation you made about where you are that you haven’t shared yet. To be hearing your belly laughter, people will become very curious and you don’t have to explain to them unless you want to.
When they do ask, tell them that you will tell them in a few and talk about something else. Tell them you can’t talk about it yet. Tell them that you will tell them later.
These are comments you have that will also keep people curious about you, keep working these muscles out!
Talk about all the happy events in your life in in the world around you. Talk with excitement and enthusiasm. I can talk with such passion and excitement about a simple meal I had or exclaim very surprised disbelief that I didn’t know a trivia fact my friend recently shared with me.
Expressing this contagious energy and passion about even the little things in your life makes your life very charming, very desirable to know more about and maybe become a part of. Women are very susceptible to the contagious emotions.
Take her along in your enthusiasm and it will be a fun shared place to be together. Help her to unlock her own passion some more by getting very excited about her topics. She will start to associate you with this passion in a very favorable and desired place to be, in those moments.
Sprinkle a little more pep into every interaction you have. Put an extra bounce to your step And a little more animation to the gestures you have when you speak. Since women frequently adjust their feelings and perspectives to be on the same plane of the people they are with, you will find yourself readily surrounded by happy energetic people. These women will associate their emotional high to you and want to be spending more and more time with you, on a more regular basis. You can have more time available for those that are returns of your happy energies.
Kino Escalation
I was trying to find other ways of escalating and I figured something out which really worked out great.
When you are sitting down next to the girl take her hand and hold it between the two of you. Comment about her ring(s) or nails and instead of giving her back her hand, gently place it on your leg. (but don’t stop talking, keep conversation flowing or else you’ll look quite odd)
***It is said that don’t let the girl determine how long you touch her for (ex: arm around shoulder) and that you should be the one to time them***
However, for this method, I would say, let her decide what to do with her hand from there. Look for IOI’s.
1. If she gently takes her hand away while brushing your leg
2. If she leaves her hand there
3. If she moves up your thigh
4. If she squeezing your leg or thumb tap. Etc.
IF she were to quickly pull away, false disqualifiers would be sufficient or light negs. When this happens and you do these, move back as quick as her hand. This is key, because this will look like she is the one who is making the move on you.
“Whoa! You are a feisty one!”
“Hey now, I don’t want your cooties!”
“Hey, hey, hey! Just because we’re clicking doesn’t mean we’re going to fuck later!”
Then continue flow of conversation, go back to what you were talking about, or change subjects then start to build more on comfort. Then try again.
You can actually do this standing up as well. I was talking to Dean about this and he added some nice key points here as well.
Again, take her hand and comment on her ring or nails. Take her hand and place it on your shoulder as you joke around about anything. If she pulls back, again, false disqualifiers and light negs to have the two of you laugh together. Then start to build more on the comfort.
If she complies once you put her hand on your shoulder, place your hand on her lower back and gently pull in. Take her other hand and place it on your other shoulders, then you can begin to talk softly as you gaze deep into her eyes as you go in for the almost kiss or full make out.
You can even use this as a close for the night as well. Place her hand on your shoulder, your hand on her lower back, pull in and give her a cheek kiss goodbye. (The thing is this: Cheek kisses, the lips never touch the cheek. It’s usually cheek to cheek with an air kiss.) If her lips touch your cheek, she is most likely willing to go all the way with the make out. If not, hopefully you have her number already to work on later.
This is all about leading and escalating in kino. Leading shows dominance and the kino escalation creates a sexual vibe. You got to keep talking while you do this so that she won’t know what hit her till it is too late.
Try this out. It’s a lot of fun.
DSmoothMike – Dating Coach Assistant
D as in “Damn” Smooth as in “Butter” Mike as in “The Filippino lover!”
Las Vegas is the world’s adult Disney World. So image being there with a Dating coach guiding you along…scratch that, Image being there with 3-4 coaches!
There is a mansion in Vegas that is creating a buzz in this Seduction “Community”. Yes I said Mansion, 5 bedrooms and baths, fireplaces…yes more than one, POOL! and more!
“Hey hunny, great talking to you, you should come to the after party, AT OUR HOUSE, with a POOL, and Jacuzzi!!” ~C.J. “The Siege” to girls at team pull with JerseyBoy in LA.
Read that quote over again.
Now remeber it. Once you are rolling along in conversation with some new girls, drop that into conversation to see some girl’s eyes light up!
The from there all you have to do is work out logistics to move you all back to the Place wwhen sexy fun is abbout to ahppen.
You see, Siege is there with a single fun outcome in mind that will prioritize the others throughout what is going on. Sure He’ll be enjoying the rest ov=f Vegas, with a particular radar on.
And ALSO rememer, what he is looking to have he gets so once one girl in the group is making out, that feeling transfers to the girl you are talking to with him as your wing.
Then she want’s to making out, this increasing your ability to escalate with her ENPORMOUSLY!!
Then once back to the pad, the girl you are talking to hears/sees sexy time going on with C.J. and his girl. She too want to be having sexy-time since the mere thought of hearing her friend enjoying the pleasures she wants, willl raise her buying temperature like you’d never believe…that is unless you have singed up foro the Vegas Event
This is not your everyday meet-up or weekend boot camp, you and the coaches DO NOT part ways for hours after the outing to your respective hotel rooms. You get a text from a girl after the night is done, there is a coach right there ready to help!
This is a project house weekend in the city that parties 24/7! on Halloween weekend no less!
This isn’t just locals, this is everyone from every where, flying/driving in to party and be naughty!
Guys this is a chance to get out and broaden your horizons! Travel and bring home stories to your friends and even women in your home town. SO when she asks have you traveled your response can be something other than “Yes with my mom and dad, to Disney world, when i was FIVE!
The problem in this are of self-improvement is that there is too many who want to read material for days or months on end and never strp out of their home or their OR their comfort zone then go out with others who do that same thing, and it ends up being “The Blind leading the Blind”
Lets put a stop to that and hit Vegas with coaches and make some memories to last a life time!
Posts: 185
Likes Given: 9
Likes Received: 6 in 5 posts
Joined: Oct 2010
Reputation: 4
Vegas recommendations
There is some people on this forum heading to Vegas, so I thought I’d put in my recommendations and what I’ve learned:
1. Girls at tables won’t talk to you that much.
Well, if it’s tables like Craps or Roulette, they got time to talk after their turn, or during their turn, but when it comes down to card games, they would prefer not to talk, but think up ways on how to win. You can make quick and witty comments to grab her attention then pull her to a different table, but conversation wise, no- they will not talk to you.
2. Girls are easier at the slot machines.
Slot machines are designed so you can take your time with them. There is no pressure or rush to do anything. So they can stop whatever they are doing and talk to you, or play and talk at the same time.
3. Pull them from different parts of the casino.
The casinos have a lot of things to look at, and places to be. Such as bars, clubs, slot machines, tables, or even watching a game together. Pull them to different areas to create small intimate moments that you can expand on later.
4. Pull them to different casinos.
It’s like making small intimate moments inside the casino, you are now making a larger memory to help raise the attraction and comfort. Also, there is open liquor laws in Vegas. Share a drink outside by bridge that connects the Excaliber to the NYC Hotel, or watch the pirate show at the Treasure Island hotel for free.
5. Shopping Malls inside the casino and the Vegas Strip are awesome places to meet women too.
It’s like Day GSF, except you can pull them into the bedroom without leaving your hotel/casino (well, depending on where you are. I recommend Ceasars Palace. A lot of high class and beautiful girls there.)
6. Wednesday night (or was it Thursday?) at the Planet Hollywood Hotel/casino
Strippers on poles and half naked women everywhere. What’s not to enjoy?
7. Vegas has the best strip clubs in America
JUST DO IT
8. The Vegas Effect
Remember, no one REALLY lives in Vegas…and tourists are always more prone for one night stands as opposed to local natives. Why? Because it’s exciting, daring, and fun.
9. Don’t forget the 4 questions to SNL
This actually works a lot better there, I found.
10. Eat your vegetables…
Nothing is more sexy than a man who loves his vegetables.
AND HERE IS YOUR BONUS:
11. If you’re looking for drugs, late night, on the bridge the connects the NYC Hotel and the Excaliber. Dealers usually hang out there.
Overall, guys, have fun. If you’re looking for any other fun places to check out while you’re there, I visited about all the casino’s, so I know where to go.
-DSmoothMike, Assist. to Dating Coach
D as in “Damn” Smooth as in “Butter” Mike as in “The Filippino lover!”
When your arrogance is combined with humor, to be very funny it shows you are having a good time. You have no need to earn any woman’s attention or acceptance or approval. This has to be the fact of all matters with her. You are a [private]strong provider that can stride confidently through the battlefields of life with or without her. However, if she earns your affections then she can come along for the fun you have in store. (Click title for whole article)
If your comments are funny and make people laugh they are very welcome. They are enjoyable even when you are giving a person a hard time about something or teasing them. The tension of uncertainty excites people in such a way that allowed the teasing you may have in store for them.
This strong providing man striving through the battlefields of life needs to be tested by a woman to know how strong their strength is. No matter what a woman presents you with true maintain your composure through all thick and thin will display a valuable guide to her. Getting angry and or upset over meaningless issues reveals insecurity and a person and is unpleasant to be around nonetheless.
Please do yourself a favor and welcome all of her tests. They are indicating that she is interested in you and would like to know more about you. Be charmed by this, and welcome it just make sure you maintain all of your composure throughout all of this. After some time, you will be able to see through them, see what they are and understand where she’s coming from. Remember that you never need to embrace or accept negative energies coming towards you and you can walk away at any time. You are a non-clingy person. “I do not need and negative energy in my world and I can walk away any time it feels less than desirable.”
Hey CJ,
Here is the text conversation you asked me to type:
Me: So I was talking to my friend about going to aparty friday
I’ve known her for a while and I think she likes me a little bit
I went to meet her and her friends and when we got to the fratthey wouldn’t let guys in so they just bailed on me
I gave her a little attitude and she said to call her, which I dismissed
Today she texts me:”How are you”
What do you think I should do?
I feel like need to give her a little punishment to her know that this kind of behavior is not acceptable
So what do you think I should do about this girl?
She just texted me asking if I’m mad at her
CJ: Tell her: “What would you do that would make me mad at you?”
Me: She said: “IDK you weren’t responding”
So she’s trying to play coy
What’s next?
CJ: That’s exactly the kind of response I was guessing… like “What DID you do that would make me mad?” Has her thinkingof exactly what it is she did
Me: But what should my response be to her playing coy and saying she doesn’t know?
CJ: No rush, time is on your side
Me: So response for now, let her get back to me with an apology?
CJ:Although she is thinking it(obviously) than that is enough. She already saw that you hold off from getting right back at to her and is trying the two together. Now you can play totally cool and unaffected
You can even play it up a bit: “I’m sure if you had done something, you would make it up to me”
( You don’t need an apology. She might still hold off from admitting outloud she had done something wrong. Even when it happened, if you had played it off like you didn’t care either way she probably wouldn’t have done it. Girls are like that, seeing you cared inspires girls to do wacky things)
Me: Should I text it now or give it like an hour or two
CJ: By not directly saying you were bothered at all shows what she has no effect on you. You have fun wherever you go and she can come along or miss it. Even if she bring up that night, I would talk about something super phenomenal and way more fun than the party she missed cause she went. Give it some time, claim you’ve just been busy.. and gently see how she makes it up to you. You are slightlymore in the zone of her chasing you. Earning your validation, don’t play it too much or she’ll stop trying. You’re just busy and couldn’t get right back to her the second she texted you.
Cj Siege
Is she in a group? Do you know that approaching a girl in a group of friends, will often have her friends trying to block you in her defense. Just to walk up and say: “hey, how have you been?”
Like Subscribe · September 8 at 3:23am near Boston
Cj Siege Her friends instantly assume you guys know each other & she has the deeling you two do too, just maybe she doesn’t remeber your name. She will keep up this polite at first iin case she just doesn’t remeber right away but by that time you can have the conversation off and running to wonderful places.
Saturday at 3:16pm · Like · 1 personLoading….
#1- Push her against a door
Simply look her deep in the eyes for a whole moment, saying nothing. Then grab her and push her back against a door with you coming to the door too, to make a girl sandwich with your body and the door. Press yourself into her and start making out with her aggressively. Enjoy every taste of her like she is a delicious desert. Tell her: “I want to fall inside you.” but still hold off. Once you told her that, the seed has been planted, let her want more of you as long as you can.
This same move can also work against a wall, but you have to be extra careful about pushing her against a hard surface that doesn’t give (it can hurt and break her out of the moment) and a wall makes less of a ”SLAM!” noise than a door does. Be firm not shoving.
Dominant sex move #2- Pull her hair
For foreplay, stand behind her, kissing her neck. First rach up to the back of her head where her hair starts, and pull her hair back. Girls really go crazy for this.
When you’re doing her doggy style (a very dominant position), you can enhance your dominance by pulling her hair as you say dirty words in your low sexy voice to her.
Dominant sex move #3- Push her face into
the floor
Phucking her doggy is very dominant. You are physically above her and she is on her hands and knees. As you’re phucking her doggy style, use your hand to force her head and shoulders into the bed sheets. Sometimes I lay her on her stomach, he legs together. Then from above her I enter her while using my hands on her lower back, lightly pinned to the bed. She can feel total surrender in this.
Dominant sex move #4- Pin her hands down
Once some playful flirts have gone back and forth between you two, throw her onto the bed missionary position and with her hands above her head, forcefully pin them down as you phuck her.
Dominant sex move #5- Fuck her hard, fast,
and deep
Girls like it when you ravish the shit out of them with everything you have, full of passion and energy. Phucking a girl hard, fast, and deep is both dominant and characteristic of a healthy alpha male in full embrace of his masculine energy.
Dominant sex move #6- Kiss her forcefully
take her face and push your tongue in, like you are giving her a forceful tongue penetration. Make the kiss wet, forced, and nasty. Every time a tongue is pushed in their mouth they assocaite that to penetration on them in hotter places.
Dominant sex move #7- Manhandle her into
position
When you want to switch position, (each one is a combination of new sensations for her) don’t tell her nicely. Decide what you want and manuver her that way. You can roughly grab your girl by the legs, arms, waist, or whatever body part to get her moved right and forcefully manhandle her into the next position you want her in.
(a few comments in reply to a story I recently heard)
[The moral of the story: Have better things to do than meet women.]
Totally and in essence, by indicating that you have better things to do than meet-up with women, this shows you are a very [private] deep, complex, multi-interest/passionate type of guy. This is more of the type of guy girls like to be with. She will not see the value in hanging out with a guy who will drop everything to meet up with her, but will find value in hanging out with a guy who likes her enough to try and make a little time for her.
[You see, he actually made himself much more attractive by doing exactly what he did.]
This is part of the almost-validation that leads girls to be in that wonderful place of being in pursuit of a guy that she likes, not being the pursued. Both the girl and the guy are much happier in these relationship dynamics for the sort-run and the long-run.
A girl has felt pursued by guys her whole life; since puberty. Most guys have been in pursuit of girls since puberty. Once a girl finds a guy she has to work a bit to earn his favor, she appreciates her ‘catch’ much more. Once a guy is being pursued by women, his personal value, self esteem goes to very healthy places. They both can grow much better in this kind of relationship, as people.
[Last, he doesn't present himself as timid or even like he did anything wrong, because he hadn't.]
I see guys getting caught in this trap all the time, taking responsibility for something that wasn’t their fault, to sooth the woman, or so they believe. When the facts can be clearly identified to understand responsibility, it can even free up the pride from its hesitation from apology. I recently had a girl who was texting me & calling me during a time I was involved in a project, which I don’t answer my calls/texts when I am involved in activities.
After calling/texting me every hour or 2, without any response from me, she got pretty bothered. When I was freed up and returned her contact, I could tell she was pretty stirred up, although this was not because of any wrongness of my actions. I clearly stated to her “Although there was nothing I could have/would have done differently, I am sorry you felt that way.”
Based on the facts, I was honest as I could be. There was nothing I would have done differently, yet I had no intention of her getting all bothered. I don’t like it when people in my life are upset, regardless if I had no control of the reasons they are. So yes, I was sorry she was upset. I wasn’t sorry for anything I did or didn’t do, I was simply sorry she got upset over things.
She could hear, based on what I was saying that I had no apologies for my actions, yet I was empathetic enough with her to care how she felt. By what I said, she can clearly understand that I’d like her to be happy, yet I won’t change my routines to make this happen.
[Lowering her value and raising his. As her emotions began to wear on her, he became more valuable because she invested feelings, energy and time into a man who has better things to do than meet some girl]
This is a great explanation. I see guys getting a bit confused to what it means in social dynamics to be ‘higher value’ or ‘lower value.’ It is not so much one simply being a higher value person in a general sense (although this may be a part of what leads to it, I have also seen it have no effect) of social status.
As you can see, she valued spending time with him more than he valued spending time with her in that moment. She valued his company more at that time compared to how much he valued her company. He’d like to spend time with her, but had a few things higher in priority. Rather than value being rated on the general scope of things, it was amount of value time spend with the other meant to a person.
She will be processing what is being said and some expression will come with her remarks, you can see if she is getting engaged. Once the conversation starts, I watch her body language and overall energy and calibrate to it. It is nice to have energy slightly higher than hers is. Having it close will indicate rapport & being slightly higher will start to raise her energy, raise her vibe of fun because of you there.
After some back and forth [private]…body language flirts had gone back and forth, I stood up and walked across the subway car to where she was.
I saw there is a seat next to her, so I simply said as I was sitting down: “Hey, should we talk. Or continue to flirt from a distance?”
And the conversation was off & running. This is another great part of increasing your calibration. you can send body language signals and read them coming in to you so you can know which girls are receptive to you and which ones are in a zone to be meeting new people that day.
(www.getherchasingyou.com) Maintaining her chasing through texting
For a good example of how well girls respond to playful anything and how the like a masculine dominance express so they feel better about their feminine humility/submissiveness to come forth, there was a recent message banter I thought I could share.
She has actively contacted me every so often. We have hung out but a few times more recently she had to cancel tentative plans because of complications in her life. So a few days ago I get this message:
HBNurse: Hey sweetie whats up with ya ya ya? Do u miss me or do u hate me now? Xo
(I am guessing she is referring to her last need to cancel our tentative plans.)
Me: You are in a neutral limbo status with potential available to you that could put you on the good side in a moment’s notice…that is if you take the right steps.
(Subtextually, I am letting her know that I haven’t totally written her off, but if she wants ot be in good favor with me, there are steps she will need to take. This is another level of that sweet spot to indicate to girls. They do not have total..[/private] …approval yet they are not rejected/dismissed. There is a clear enough indication that her actions in the right way can lead to the rewards she wants. Not too easily obtained, but the potential is within her reach.)
HBNurse: K. I would like right steps obi wan. School ur young jedi…..
(This is great. She is the one to turn it into a game, so to speak. She is following my lead to what I indicated, but giving us the fictional roles of characters in Star Wars. I hear which way she is following my lead and I go with that as well, rewarding her choices that are in the direction I want along the way. Like in child psychology, reward the good behavior you want more of & ignore the negative behaviors to make them go away. Girls work the same way. Good result or bad result they are driven to do those things that get the most attention. )
Me: Ok, Miss Young Skywalker…first step is for you to alert me when you are in my area and have a block of time to do what you want with.
(Here, I am rewarding her following my lead and I will play along with the roles she found. The roles actually will let me be more direct as the game goes along since it is joking, with the real meaning heard underneath. She hits me up every so often with texting banter, but here I am telling her to let me know when she wants to get together & is ready to take more of my direction. I already won’t make plans with her unless I am absolutely certain she will follow through, so when she does what I asked, this is the first step in her making a commitment she will follow through with. )
HBNurse: Yes master…. Then?
(I know she wants to text banter on a sexual level at this point. I will do nothing but vague hints to let her imagination do most of the work. Just like there are ways to build tension and create open loops in texts, tension can be released for her in texts. I see her curiosity and decide to keep it at that at this point. With this game on the table now, later I can simply recall that curiosity in her at a later point with it.)
Me: You will be given the next directions when you have successfully completed the first step…and second step isn’t guaranteed unless it is clear you are ready for more…who knows, you may get second step first time you complete the first one or maybe you won’t get it until the tenth time you have completed the first step…it all depends on the moment & your readyness for more in that moment.
(Here I am telling her that her curiosity will not be satisfied until she completes the first direction I gave her. I won’t even tell her the next steps. Some girls can get release of that tension through sexy talk through even texts. Every girl is different but I like to continuously be building tension, holding off from that release until it can be done physically.)
HBNurse: Yes master… I understand! What will u have me do…
(She heard what I said, but is trying again to get me to give her some sexier talk within the texts. I will vaguely hint at more when I see that my building of more tension will have her wanting that release AND is able/ready to meetup for that release to happen physically. Not only do I repeat what she needs to do to get what she wants… )
Me: Good girl, but listen: <> …it may be different depending on the moment you complete that….depending on the current moment & how ready for more you express you are.
(…I get a little more specific so she knows what factors will increase the likelihood of her getting what she wants.)
HBNurse: Yes master soon ill b ready to complete my training….
(Here she is telling me she heard what I said & is clear. Previously I told her to withhold contacting me until she had a block of time with no constraint but it still is no guarantee.)
Me: Ok, Leave me be until you feel you are ready.
(I know I can call back the theme of this banter at any time later to remind her or re-spark her curiosity…but for now, I will take away this banter until she tells me she has time, or I pick it up to re-spark those things.)
What girls want least is those things they can have too easily. They want those things more that are hard to get. What they want most are those things that are just a hairsbreadth out of their reach, what they can almost have if they figure out the best steps to take. Giving them indication of what those steps might be is a good feeler to see their readiness. As soon as they start to try (getting the chasing going) they will get small rewards with indications of how they can modify their steps to get bigger rewards.
I stay vague about the exact reward possible, just vague hints but am clearer about the steps they need to take…[/private] …to even find out what those rewards might be. I let their imagination do most of the work. It comes up with things closer to what they want, and their never quite sure if they are right anyways.
That uncertainty creates desire in them just to find out what those rewards might be and to know a clearer picture of what they need to do to get them…. is a larger factor in creating desire than anything explicit described anyways.
So it all started at Allston bar/grill, Sunset Grill. I was there a little early to be meeting some friends there for dinner. The waitress gave me a table beeper and I sat at the bar to wait for my friends. I was sitting on the corner of the bar and on the adjacent side of the bar were 4 girls in a row. I eye contacted with a smile the two that were closest to me.
As soon as the girl closest to me got her drink, we talked about her beer a bit. We mad some jokes about beers. To explain her reasons to be out on a weeknight, she says that she and her friends ran the marathon that day, so even though I only partially believe her (based on her delivery) I play along with her joke.
I scan across the row of girls and notice the one farthest from me, the youngest and the cutest of the bunch is doing some eye contact flirting heavily but is much more reserved than the other 3 girls.
The first girl then points out each girl in the row and tells me of something that was significant about them in the marathon simultaneously doing a mini-intro without names. She tells me one girl had a knee go out in the last 2 miles, that she personally had stomach ache during part of the race and small factors about each one during the race. It seems as if she is making the whole thing up, but I play along for playful sake.
At one point she is playing with her phone and I see an engagement/wedding band on the indicator finger. She was wicked fun to talk & joke with, so I just noted it in my head & went on with the convo. My first buddy shows up. After a few minutes of catch up talk, I quickly introduce him in to the girls. I use the same intro the first girl did with me when she introduced me to the group.
I started announcing the group to my buddy as an introduction. “Ya, and these girls ran the marathon today. This girl had a stomach-ache, This girl a knee problem…” I began with…. and the first girl finished my introduction to my buddy with the specifics she told me previously. She finished up the introductions.
Conversation went on with me, my buddy & mostly the girl closest to us and a little less with next girl over and even less with the 3rd girl in the group.( Nothing but gazes from the last girl in the row.) At one point the second girl in the row mentioned her husband offhandedly in a comment so I made my second note in my head. The girls were fun to chat with, so it kept going on for a few minutes until their appetizers came.
As the first 3 girls were eating their appetizers, I saw the last girl in the row, the one making her heavy eye contact flirts. She had no appetizer and was just sitting with her drink. She was blond, very cute & definitely caught my attention. She had a rocker chick vibe which has caught & held my attention more than once. I excused myself from my buddy, walked down the bar to where this last girl was sitting and started talking. I first was [private]talking about the marathon again and this girl mentioned that she didn’t even go, she told me the other things she did that day.
The conversation jumps from that to places she’s worked in the past, her love for snowboarding, her origin of a different state. She tells me of her parents, her studies in school. She also tells me what she loves about her studies although her line of work was nothing even closely related. She is getting really excitedly passionate explaining these things, which I find very attractive. I still wasn’t thinking of her as much more than a cool chick to be talking to at the time. As far kino was concerned, the only touching I do is basic offhanded touches that goes easily in any conversation.
We get pretty involved in conversation as I see her getting more interested. She is turning her chair more away from the bar and more towards me and getting excited about the topics she mentioned that I asked her more about as she was elaborating. She was getting excited in her topics and was fun listening to her telling her stories this way. Seeing her interest and energy raising, I point out my friend who diagonally across the bar to point him out to her. I tell her that I think she is wicked cool but I have to get back to my friend (another way to roll out on a high point), we are waiting for another friend before getting a table.
“Oh we should totally trade contact so we can pick this up another time.” I tell her. She agrees and takes out her phone as I was taking out mine. I tell her my information and tell her to call her number through so I have it for later. Then I select her call, select ‘Add to contacts” and hand her my phone telling her to type in the information so I have it saved. She does this and while I am saving it we get into other conversations.
We then talk more about where she was from, what she studied in college and her love for snowboarding and her 3 month trip in the past winter. The conversation was still rolling along nicely so I stayed in it for a few minutes before getting back to my friend. As I start to walk away from her, I turn back and tell her that my friend and I are waiting for another chick friend and then we are getting a table. I tell her as soon as our other friend arrives that she should join us at the table too. She says it sounds good so I tell her I will let her know when I get buzzed for the table.
I go back to my buddy, our other chick friend arrived and I get buzzed for the table. Before sitting down, I go back to HBsnowboard and tell her I just got buzzed for the table. She tells me she is going to the bathroom and will be over after.
So my two friends and I go sit at our new table. We sit and are chatting and laughing along. This new table was on a totally opposite side of the restaurant but a few minutes later I see HBsnowboard coming in the dining room and making her way over. My buddy and chick friend were on the other side of the table so the available seat was on the bench seating next to me where she sat down.
We all ordered and talk and laugh for the next 2 hours or so. We really were just a table of pals chatting it up over dinner, with a new pal involved. Turns out, this girl was not with the other 3 at the bar, she just met them and were insta-friended by them.
All sorts of things come up in our conversation. When I bring up off handed topics of sex, we talk of wacky places to have sex. Then she tells me that she lost her virginity twice. First was with two other girls, then a different time with a guy. We talk of the way Joey Lauren Adams character in ‘Chasing Amy’ explained concepts related to losing virginity and the differences between girl/boy sex and girl/girl sex.
This new girl fit right in with our conversations and everything went along great. I excused myself at one point after dinner to have a smoke and new girl said she was coming with me to smoke as well. While we were outside, I asked her about the hookah bars nearby. Once I learned she liked them, I told her of my hookah at my house.
She told me of her day & of her two roommates. One was a guy and the other was girl who didn’t really like each other. She told me she was a mediator between the two at times. While we were chatting outside, I asked her what she was doing the next day and she told me nothing. I mentioned going back to my place after dinner to smoke hookah and told her she was welcome to come along. She then remembered she was supposed to meet her guy roommate at a nearby bar for a few but said she would skip that since she was having fun with me and could catch up to him later.
We went back inside, had a few more drinks. My buddy had to leave early since he had an NY trip in the following morning so HBsnowboard, my chick friend and myself stayed for another round chatting and laughing. We all paid the bill, I hugged my chick friend goodbye and HBsnowboard and her exchanged “nice meeting you”s with each other.
I first was ready to shoot back to my place with HBsnowboard to smoke some hookah when she tells me that she now has to go to the nearby bar to check on her guy roommate and touch base with him…this was the same one she decided to skip meeting with earlier when it came up. She tells me this and I say nothing, I just look at her. She then then tells me I can come too if I want.
“Alright, why not. That’s a fun bar, I’ll hang for a little bit.”
Sure I could have let her go or said bye or even tried to give her address or directions to my house but I know from prior experience what happens. Her attraction drops, the rapport is temporarily forgotten and a girl will get wrapped up in a new activity. She will be wrapped in the moments and not make it to after plans. I was having fun & came along to the nearby bar she was meeting her roommate at.
HBsnowboard and I go inside. I go up to the bar ahead of her and order a diet coke. She comes up behind me and orders her drink. We chat some more for a while till she sees her guy roommate across the bar and waves to him. A minute or two later, she tells me she is going over to say hi to him. On her second step away, she tells me I should come too. I tell her ok and let her walk over there by herself. I finish my coke and watch TV for a few minutes where I was.
I do that for her to have the first few minutes with her roommate to catch up with whatever without me there yet. After a few minutes, I wander over to them, sit in the stool on the other side of her and then get introduced. I had some small talk with roommate and let them chat about whatever they were chatting about. When it died down a bit, I pick up conversation with HBsnowboard from topics we talked about earlier in the night. Once she was done with her drink, she indicated she wanted to leave the bar so we said bye to her roommate and went to the bustop to go to my place. I stilll haven’t kissed her at all.
Once we got there, I showed her different things around my place. We talked of where some of the decorating ideas came from and talked about different framed pieces on the walls. At one point while talking about a wall of framed photos, she points to a single one with a sexual theme and says to me: “I like that one”
Hearing her say this, I am watching her face as she does. When she finishes speaking I pull her close and start kissing her for first time, full make out. With many girls I kiss them the first time when we’re already back to my place. Before that it was nothing but offhanded touches in convo and hints dropped by me to them. Enough sexual tension can be built with conversation alone that timing gets to be crucial here. We made out for a few minutes in this hallway. I stopped this after a few and kept talking about the art on the walls and directed her to come with me to see another piece. This piece was in my bedroom. We talked about it for a minute then I pulled her to me again and started kissing her.
With two steps away, I moved us over and fell with her on my bed to keep making out. This went on for about 10 minutes. I was rubbing the sides of her body and rubbing the skin of her back and stomach under her shirt. Once I reached around to unhook her bra, she stopped me, sat up and told me that we just met.
I playfully pushed her back and said “I know it, cut it out.” in a playful smirk. I then stood up, took her hand and said “Come with me.” As I took her back in the living room, I put some music on. I asked if she wanted a glass of water and got her and myself one. We talked for a while and listened to music. She edged her seat on the couch to be tiny bit closer to me so I put my arm around her and started making out again. We made out for a while, and I stopped it to change the radio. I just went easily back into a completely unrelated topic every so often. Then I would bring it back to escalating again.
At one point she half jokingly told me she thought I was a gentleman, that she didn’t expect all this. I told her I never claimed to be gentle with a smirk on my face. I then told her I was attracted to her and asked her: “What’s wrong with that?” She shyly told me nothing. I told her that I didn’t think so either.
A little later I told her I wanted to give each other backrubs. I unfolded the futon and told her I wanted the backrub first. She told me she didn’t think she could do it well and I told her I was open to see what she could do.
I took off my shirt, lied down and she straddled me sitting on my ass. After a few minutes, I told her she wasn’t that good (jokingly but not joking at the same time). I then told her to get off of me so she could lie down and I show her how a backrub is supposed to feel.
She does that, and I start to rub the back of her shirt. After a minute, I tell her to take off the shirt and she does that. As soon as the shirt is off I unhook her bra. Then I rub her back for a while before moving to her sides and teasing the sides of her boobs. I also lean in really close to her, pausing rubbing her back to breath in around her neck and smell her hair so she can feel the air rushing as I can inhale her scents.
She is wearing nylons under her skirt. I go to pull her skirt down and she asks me “What are you doing?”
Rather than explain the obvious, I just tell her. “Take this off” as I press the waist of her skirt to show her what I mean. She does that. Previously doing things like that, I thought I had to continue the thread of giving a harmless backrub. Now understanding how girls think in a moment-to-moment basis, I know once she has gon along with having the skirt off, she is in a new moment with a new objective. Once she has it off, I turn her over to her back and we continue making out of a while. I am in no rush. I enjoy making out with her and I have learned that sometimes the longer amount of time between steps faces less resistance… while sometimes trying to get too many steps in succession increases the likelihood of resistance. This lets me get her really hot with lots of slow sensual touches…I enjoy this. A few more minutes go by & I then feel her hands fiddling with my belt buckle. I show her how it works and then take it off myself.
After 10 minutes or more, I go to pull her nylons down. As I just start to put my fingers under the waist band.[/private] She feels this and takes the nylons and her panties off herself
It is said that 1st two weeks of semester have highest ratio of SNLs, Mmm…So 2nd day girl from my class comes along to improv with me after class, then with me to have wine with me & see my place and one thing leads to another… I love it when a girl is thanking me as she is leaving after sex .
The following day of class (2days later, ystrday) she introduces me to her hott friend, we all meet up for wine last night. When we all get back to my place, of course I suggest a 3 way massage but it never even gets that, right to 3 of us enjoying each other naked…sexual tension within dialog leads to beautiful things [/VIDEO LINK chemistry convo seed to 3some
Being strong in your masculinity reduces any neediness. Needy people suffer from habits of seeking validation from others. Two things must be done to end this habit. The first is to [private]focus your mind on appreciation – stop dwelling on all the stuff you want, and learn to appreciate areas that already satisfy…[private] you. Practice this every day. I recommend you do this during a daily routine like teeth brushing. Go through all the things that are going well and take moments to really feel the gratitude for each one.
Secondly, focus on appreciation when you socialize. Look actively for positive qualities in others, and let them know you noticed. I removed compliments from my vocabulary and just went on to notice what I like about people. They appreciate it more, it is much easier (just noticing) and it is always taken as honest, not contrived.
Also look for positive things about surroundings or situation and talk warmly about them, share them with who you are with. This discussion brings you both to the same page and you can enjoy together.
Also talk about good experiences you have had lately, emphasizing how good it made you feel. Discipline yourself to steer all conversations down this path. In no time, this will transform you from a needy guy, to the type of guy everyone loves to hang with. [/private]
“You won’t believe what I have in store for you!” I told her.
So once again I see the reason it’s great to maintain some contact with a girl I’ve met that I liked but didn’t go [private]very far at first. It was approx 2 years ago or so I went to a Halloween party with a chick friend of mine who also did improv at the Improv Asylum when I did.
At the party, I was introduced to a bunch of cool new people and even traded numbers with some to stay connected. I was dressed as a woman that year, so the chicks seemed to love teasing me in ways that guys tease chicks or objectify them in a playful way.
There was even more than one occasion through the night where I found it necessary to say “Hey! I am more than just a piece of meat for you to enjoy. I have deep feelings and you have to respect me for those.” Totally joking in the moment, of course, and some chicks would take it even further, continuing the thread in a way I liked. When girls grabbed my stuffed boobs I would grab their real ones in response. They just laughed.
They would have playful comments to say I was just a piece of meat or their toy for the night (which I didn’t mind at all). One girl, let’s say Anna, was acting pretty frisky and even was trying to exert some playful dominance on me. To re-remind her of the man inside the costume, I simply picked her up, her back over one of my arms, her legs draped across the other, the way a parent would carry an infant or a groom would carry his bride across the threshold of the motel room. Somebody snapped a photo of this.
Days later, several of us found & friended each other on facebook and she saw this photo so she tagged herself. We commented here & there on each other posts every once in a while, nothing too constant just little hellos.
It wasn’t until a week or two ago I posted a comment “My dance moves are ok, but show me a stripper pole & I really come alive.”
It was my joke. People could take it how they wanted but I wrote it as two unrelated concepts. I could dance ok, but if I was watching a stripper pole with a stripper on it, I would come ‘alive’, so to speak.
She simply commented “Dude, me too!” to which I went to her FB page and wrote: “I hear a dance-off starting to form. You have no idea what sort of competition you’re up against.”
She commented to my post, saying: “Stiff, no doubt.”
Thank you very much Ms. Anna, for starting the sexual undertoned comments. This is my favorite place to be, inspiring these type of comments in girls with my subtlety, then continuing the ping-pong effect.
Soon after, I then had a post on my own page from a magazine article I recently read that said that Boston had the 3rd highest IQ average in the nation. She went & asked what the first two were. They were Raleigh NC and something else, but I saw her question as a set up for a cocky joke on my part.
“What were the first two?” She asked.
“Brighton and Brighton again, both first and second place.” I replied, since Brighton is my neighborhood I wanted to subtly indicate in a joke that I was responsible for the high IQ here.
She went on to agree, then said “Coincidence? I think not…I mean assuming Allston is part of Brighton…”
With: “Coincidence? I think not…” I could see she got my joke. Once she said: “assuming Allston is a part of Brighton…” I saw that she got my joke, and if she was living in Allston, then she was installing herself into the joke, playing along at my level. I read enough interest in this to take it to the next tiny step up. I sent her a private message.
“I had no idea that we’re practically neighbors. If you weren’t such a mischief maker, I’d think we should do coffee or split appetizers & catch up n’stuff…”
In this, I acknowledged her ‘ping’ of letting me know she lived near me with my ‘pong’ of the “neighbors” in the message to let her know I got the idea. I then was suggesting we should hang out soon with a disqualifier of: “If you weren’t such a mischief maker…”
I already could read into our ping-pong comments that she wanted to hang out. By expressing a small reason why we should not, she instantly tries to overcome it. This generates a tiny bit more attraction with a sleight indication (‘we want more what we cannot have’) and is a good place to begin the momentum of a girl in pursuit of a guy, not the other way around.
So the next ‘ping’ reply she gave me was: “Precisely why we should. Mischief loves company. Or something like that…” Which is great. Rather than me asking her if she wants to hang out, I tell her a tiny silly reason why we should not, and she is the first one to actually say that we should hang out. She could guess that mischief was something I like in a girl, so she is guessing at a way to qualify herself to me, and agreeing with the sexual undertones it carries.
Now that she is the one suggesting we hang out, I can play some more with her. I tell her this: “Ok. Maybe that makes sense if we warn the other neighbors first, just in case. Do you text?”
I still indicate the “Maybe” letting her know she hasn’t won my total approval of the idea yet, keeping her working. “Warning the neighbors” was to continue the mischief theme but in the subtext. I saw I had her number from a time back that I never followed up on, I I wanted to keep her invested in this thread’s momentum so I just asked if she texts.
“Of course. Doesn’t everyone? I have no use for the phone other than texting & email & cool games & stuff.” And signed with a nickname I didn’t previously know of hers and her number. By telling me the nickname, she indicated to me a bit more rapport, so from that time on, I called her that to continue it.
I then shot her a text with my phone. “Although I don’t know what I’m getting into with you. Here is my #. ~C.J.”
Then began the texting banter. She must have been in rhyming mood, because she mentioned something about our names rhyming. That rhyme made me think of an improv game I working to be played at the improv group I regularly am a part of. I told her of it, that is was a scene with a bartender whose customer had a problem that he came in and sang about. The bartender would sing his advice, and they both had to rhyme with each other. So I told her to come to improv.
Then she asks me if they serve drinks at the venue the improv is at. I tell her they don’t but we usually go to Unos for drinks and snacks.
She shows up and participates in the improv some, which is good since I bet she thought it was just a show. When it came time to go to Unos she came right along.
At Unos, I directed her to the corner seat in the booth, then I sat next to her (not across table from her) so I could be in close touching distance. When we were talking it was easy to put my hand on her leg for a moment when I was making a point, or to be touching her regularly throughout the conversation. It was easy to be bouncing from conversation with her, which I kept at a closer face to face distance, to the conversations going around the table with my other friends. Since I saw her look to my lips a few times when we were talking so close, I just leaned in & kissed her to which she kissed back and giggled a little.
We traded stories, I told her of my lifecoaching/dreamcatching gig and she tells me that she had an unfulfilled dream.
“What is it?” I ask
“I want to strip.”
I had to tell her my joke that is true: “When I was a kid, my dad was a firefighter so I always wanted a firefighter pole in may house. Since I have grown up, I settled for a stripper pole to be at my house.
After that the easy kisses just came every so often, so I asked her if she drove that night. She told me that she does drive, but took the T since to avoid the parking. I then told her I would have hit her up for a lift home if she had her car. She started telling me of taking the T back together since both of our areas are on the same color line. Then she cut herself off and suggested we split a cab since we live relatively close with each other. I agreed and conversations of other topics came in and out.
When I stepped out to smoke a butt, an adjustment to the dynamic came to me. Different friends that were there had given me a ride home before. When I got back inside I said to Anna “Sometimes my friend gives me a lift back to my place, I wonder if it would be cheaper for you to take a cab back from my place.”
Her first reply was “Couldn’t he just give me a ride back to my place too?”
I had already though of the possibility of her thinking this so I told her. “It is much easier for me to ask for a ride for you & me back to my place than also be asking for a ride for you, a person they just met first time tonight to a whole other place…taking more time.” It was unspoken, but there is a sleight indication that by asking for this extra favor might have less of a change of being favorably granted.
Girls are great at thinking of all the possibilities in a social situation. If she was to put all the possibilities on the table then it would compare. She may like me to be splitting a cab with her, spending a little more time together. I thought of that, but it wouldn’t be as smooth to get her back to my place in those circumstances. If she denied the suggestion, I may just tell her to take the T back and I will get a ride from my friend. Of course I don’t know for sure, but I bet she considered that last possibility. She agreed that a cab back from my place would make the most sense.
Most of the ride, while she was in the back I spent most of the time during the ride, talking to my friend, making small points to her. So during the ride back, as we passed a road that a turn would lead to her place, she mentioned it this way: “Left” quietly in a playful tone. Although I didn’t know exactly where she lived, I guessed what she was getting at.
“No problem, you can take a cab back from my place.” Thankfully, my buddy didn’t interject by saying he could take her to her house. He might have not even known what she was talking about when she said “Left,” since he does know how to get to my place and thought that’s where we were going.
She said nothing else, so the conversation continued and we arrived at my apartment. I was sort of offering that my buddy comes in too, but thankfully he beat me to the punch. He said he had to run, that he had an early morning tomorrow.
So Anna and I went up to my apartment. She came in very confidently, opposed to how I do notice when girls are sometime a bit hesitant for a few when they are in a guys place their first time. They come in for the tour, settle to the environment as I offer them a drink and get them settled in a comfortable area.
She went on to be playing with my cat. I told her that I thought it was awesome that she got along so well with the cat and the cat liked her. She seemed to spend an extra minute or two playing with the cat after I said that.
She previously told me she had an unfulfilled dream of stripping some day. She had a very tight body, exercised regularly and I could see she had a palm sized ass, still beautiful hip curves. Of course I had to show her the stripper pole I have installed at my place. It has always gotten a playful reception form girls who come over for dinner parties and for other reasons.
She loved it. She started showing off her moves to which I sat back and enjoyed the show. After a few minutes, when she had done a good multi-move sexy routine, she was closer to where I was sitting with her ass in my direction. I simply put a hand on each side of her hips, pulled her down to be sitting next to me, and let the makeout begin.
Things escalated for a while, she kissed her way down my stomach to give me some head, which was actually very good. Since I did want to fuck her, I stopped her at doing this, guided her to be on her back and did some ravishing all over her body to get her more aroused.
I ran my hands and kissed, all over her body. As I was kissing her belly, my hands were up on her boobs. With a quick maneuver with my hand, I unhooked her bra (I would recommend practice on these to be very smooth). I did this while kissing, usually when done quickly and smoothly, girls hardly notice it is coming off (which they like things to be that smooth) until they feel their nipples are being played with.
We play-wrestled around on the futon, making out & playing different ways. Then in a smooth, unbutton and slide down, her pants came off. While kissing her below, she had moans of pleasure but still was gently and playfully resisting and laughing.
She was enjoying what she was feeling, yet didn’t want to surrender to me yet I could tell. I could feel that in her, and wasn’t bothered so I kept repositioning us in different ways through our wrestling, both of us laughing.
Probably to avoid the slut-label girls often think they need to avoid during a first night encounter like this. She pulled her pants back up. Once I first detected this, I took the control. Taking the waistband of her pants, I pulled them all the way up, rezipped and rebuttoned them while saying “Whoa missy, as much as I am attracted to you, we are going way too fast.”
By seizing her hesitation to be my hesitation, I now had more of the control of it. When I resparked sexy-time further, it is more as if her sexy moves had me to reconsider my choice of slowing things down, in a subtle way. Even when she was on top of me and things got hotter and heavier in both of us, she went to stand up for a moment. That is fine, she can let those feelings of me touching her to soak in & her feeling her arousal without me touching her for a moment, building desire in her.
Rather than try to keep things in a state of continuation, I laid my head back and mostly closed my eyes. I was just enjoying her for the moment, we were making out and escalating so now that it paused, I just sat back and enjoyed what was previously going on. Instead of glaring at her in anticipation for more escalation, I was just comfortable. Sure I had my eyes closed but one squinted every so often so I could see what she was doing. That way she didn’t feel like she had my full attention, eagerly awaiting her next move. If things were to end for the night at that point, I was fine. I could see her watching me expectantly, then she picked up a huge carnival stuffed dog of the floor & in a silly way she first pressed it to my chest where I was reclined a bit.
As I opened my eyes and looked at her she let herself down to be on top of me with the stuffed dog between us. (Weird barrier) Then the kissing began again with me pulling out the stuffed animal and we play-wrestled again, letting things escalate further. Then I was the one stopping things, mentioning that I had to get up early tomorrow so we should call her a cab.
She agreed, so I looked up cab companies online & selected one to call. Since she was sitting next to me, while I was waiting for someone to answer, I put my hand on Anna’s back and guided her down to be giving me head again. I heard the taxi guy answer but was a little distracted so I disconnected. She was pretty passionate and enthusiastically going down on me, it was late so I let her finish me to orgasm. I kissed her & told her she did awesome. She told me she had to work the next morning so I picked up the phone to call the cab again, this time giving the guy the addresses.[/private]
[private]When she is talking about things she is passionate about.
I’ll say it again:
Show genuine excitement and fascination
about the things she talks about.
Some guys ask me & think if they should be acting this. No. There is no need. I see most guys holding in their excitement because they want to look cool and dismissive. That is really not attractive to woman.
Let yourself show the excitement. I can even get truly excited listening to a girl talk about a subject that I have no interest, no knowledge of, just seeing her passion come through.
I see other guys showing little fascination in new topic they really are curoius about. It is like they want to appear like they know it all. That’s not cool either. Let yourself have ther humility of a kid, when it comes to new topics. You will see the most confident men, the are confident enough to show their lack of knowledge in subjects the really don’t know about.
A very intelligent man once captured the idea: “From everything I have learned, the biggest thing it has taught me is that in comparison to what their is out there, how little I really know.”[/private]
…trying to call you out on something you can play it back to her in exaggeration to make her laugh.
Lets say she says “I can’t believe you just said that!” or ‘Did that’ or whatever.
You can merely say [private] the same thing in a super whiny voice, extra-exaggerated like you are making fun of her. Most of the time, she just sees her comment is ridiculous and will laugh along with you. [/private]
you can be saying “I am confident, I am in control and I am the selector.”
You can just be the one to[private] turn away first, walk away to give her some space and let what she has received as your vibe to sink in.
Squint a little bit.
If you see her pull back, you can pull back further. If you see any of her body language indicating that she is ready to walk away, pivot your body and point one of your feet away as if you are about to walk away. Many times, you will see this draw her in closer to keep you around. The subtle signals that come through body language are huge signals that reveal a strong inner belief and strong self confidence.
You can indicate subtle gestures that express power and dominance. You can offhandedly touch the small of her back and this makes her feel protected by you in a subtle way. Cupping her face does this and stroking her hair and head will do the same. [/private]
is a great playful joke to throw in anytime what she says or does can be interpreted with a sexual undertone. Keep it going, it’s a fun momentum.
Those same type of lead in statements that got the [private] “That’s what she said” line can go a bit more mature, making more people laugh at them. They key to humor is the tension, then release, so If you put a little tension on them for ‘objectifying’ you, the most common reaction is a little playful laughter.
…and of course, she later asks herself in her thoughts “I must really want him or I wouldn’t have said such a thing…”[/private]
but having one foot pointing away makes it feel like less pressure to her and more casual to you both. A great way to open so she feels no ‘at-first’ pressure is to have [private] your body pointing away; at least your feet are pointing a different direction than where she is. Just turn your head towards her as you speak, your face pointing to her. It is very comfortable that way. This way also seems very spontaneous which women do love spontaneity. When you do sit down next to girls to say hi, you can take away this pressure by saying: “I need to go in a minute, but I wanted to…” (say hi, ask you a question, tell you about something, ect.)
When you do just have your head held in their direction, it is easy to get some interesting conversation going, and resume whatever you had your attention on before. This is a great way to do a little takeaway. This allows her to soak you in a bit; get a feel of your vibe, then start to want more of your attention. [/private]
Creating feelings and emotions subconsciously can be [private] done while elevating your target’s desire for you without even speaking. She can see the benefits of what I have to offer without me showing any self-interest. Every time I give her good attention, I will bust her chops and be teasing her about her insecurities. This will lighten the gravity about what she is insecure about when she is with you. When you are easily joking about them, it is as if they are no big deal to you therefore letting her take them as a lesser deal than she usually does.
Another way to be creating that sexual tension is to be only acting mildly interested in her, to almost indifference (more of this as you see her attraction go up). [/private]
[private]We are Men. We are guys whose majority of thinking is Led by their left brains thinking in a linear, logical format that operates on a time line. We are great decision makers, We balance the cost/reward factors well, and use previous results to determine the next best step to take.
[private]I have great points to the reasons why. Not to promote negativity. To be the positive only side to her life and to keep my energy, thoughts positive.
Things like “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Is no skin off the nose and doesn’t take responsibility for the reason.
(This covers thing for the most part, but sometimes women do need to fight…..every once in a while.)
…to be disqualifying yourself from being a possible suitor of hers.
You can use all sorts of ways to indicate this. One very explicit way I may say[private] after she does something I can tease her about.
I will look off to the side as if I am talking to an imaginary person and say loud enough so she hears it: “Ok C.J., note to self: don’t date this girl, she is….”[/private]
So she has heard my mocking reasons to be wary of her.
When guys are in an interaction with a woman that they just first met, the woman isn’t really sure or clear that he is interested in her directly. One way to playfully indicate this is to talk about it as future plans. “Oh my God, I am so totally going to start hitting on you in the future because…”By doing this there is nothing to object to or to reject right now. It is a playful statement you…
[private] made almost indicating that if she plays her cards right you will get hit on by you. This leaves the potential open without being too direct.By using this future perspective you can lay a lot of things out just as ‘potential’. “That is so cool! You love food and I love food. I love going to all these different new cultural and hole in the wall restaurants around town, we can be food buddies inside these places out.” This is need any specific logistical details this is just indicating that if she does play cards right there is another fun activity the two of you can do together. [/private]
[private]“Isn’t that pathetic? “ & she asks what do you mean. “When a guy does things like that, you can tell he is probably a nice guy with good intentions. He’d enjoy nothing in the world more than to be with you. But then he goes and gums the whole thing up by kissing your ass like that. What a shame. He doesn’t get it. He has no idea what’s attractive to a woman.”[/private]
[private]It is quite easy to mix in a lot of teasing into the first few minutes of a conversation with a new girl. You can make it very clear that you do not put a mark on any kind of pedestal. As she is telling you different points you can easily say “Oh reeeeallly?” or “Uh-huh” as you would if your little sister was telling you her newest fabrication of fiction.
This is another great way to clearly indicate her that her beauty has no intimidating power over you whatsoever. Obviously she’s going to wonder what makes you so confident, especially since every other guy seems to supplicate her every beck and call.[/private]
Not in a club. This will have her visually scanning the room over your shoulder. Do not lose eye contact. Keep the eye contact. You can be having a good conversation at a kissing [private] distance. At a kissing distance. Very close it can keep the uninterrupted eye contact. You can triangulate your gaze on her while she is talking. While you are talking, keep increasing the length & frequency of your pauses. Look at her lips in the pauses shows her lips are distracting you a bit. This will significantly raise the sexual tension.[/private]
[private]with many questions I am asked. “Don’t worry, we’ll get to that” sort of thinking. I make a mental bookmark in my head about something she inquired about. Then later after we have continued our current threads of conversation and topics have changed, maybe I bring it back up “You asked before about…”. By doing this, she will feel like she was better listened to. You came back to the point. Still, even at this point, I most likely will let her know what she wanted to know then segue it in a topic that is more fun anyway.[/private]
[private]When you hear those feeler ‘qualifying questions’ from a girl to you, mark it in your mind is a good sign. She is interested in you enough to want to know more and see more of what you’re like. She might say “So what do you do” as with all the questions, especially the qualifying ones, I use these as opportunities to joke or tease with her. You have her undivided attention; play with it a little bit like she is your little sister. If she asks me “So CJ, what do you do” I might tell her “I’m an ice sculptor. Last night I perfected the cube. You wait; with this tray I’ll be doing 12 next week.” Now I’m not saying you never tell her. I just put it off for the time being in the beginning. There will be an automatic stereotype of some sort attached to every profession there is. By deflecting for the time being avoids this and more indicates your likelihood for joking and being playful AND this also shows that earning her acceptance is not on your list. You know how cool you are, you have no need to give her your verbal resume. I do eventually tell her one of two ways. If she asks a second time in the conversation it shows she is really interested. I may tell her then jump to a story of what I wanted to be when I was a little kid, This is giving her the factual information she wants, still maintaining a better fun theme to what you guys are talking about.[/private]
Another great thing to make sure you keep in mind is that there is never a need to avoid potential conflicts. Being a highly confident and strong man, knows that the best ideas are often presented with counterpoints. This is fine. If it was a boring topic or issue, no one would spend the time trying to oppose it.
Remember that it is okay to have some conflict. Even powerful emotion will raise attraction so her quick spurt of an angry face is not a thing to take seriously. You have just met this girl she is still treating you as a non-person to her world, also seeing how you react under different situations.
If she does give you a quick angry anything in the first few minutes you have met her, take it as a joke. Make a joke of it. You can call her cute for getting all huffy about a silly joke you made. Reach across and sideways hug her as if you are consoling her little tantrum.
If you think about it on the same level, since you just met this girl, you have no reason to care what she thinks yet. She is still a new person to your world and you have not learned enough about her to see if you want her to a friend of yours, If her energy compliments yours.
When meeting new people, there is no reason to really care what they think about me or what I have to offer. They detect this lack of care, this supreme confidence which is really attractive in itself. Since they are not top priority and there is not any reason to worry. Stay focused on the feel good topics you know, those that make you feel good and seem to be contagious to those around you.
Never worry if she sees something in you that might push her away. It always good for you to have the ‘warts & all’ perspective about what you project. If you do welcome her into your world for a longer period of time, she will see those anyways. It shows a higher confidence when a person see’s no big deal in their own faults.
“You’re[private] pretty cool. You can help me pick up chicks.”[/private]
This takes the possibility out of her head that I was hitting on her while still putting us on the same team mentality.
[private]“Look man, most guys approach women and bore the HELL out of them. They ask predictable questions and do NOTHING to spark that initial interest. Me, on the other hand, I always communicate with women in a language that immediately challenges them. I tease the crap out of them, but they LOVE it. And I talk about things that are EMOTIONALLY exciting to them. You would call this FLIRTING. Most girls are asking for something more, contact info, to hang out, indicating sexual interest clearly..” [/private]
…an underlying theme in a girl’s world but also showing that you are[private] making an exception for the girl you just met is easy.
I do this by saying something that has both ideas in it like this:
“Well I just don’t give my number to chicks that I meet in the world anymore…but if I put your name on your number, I would pick it up when you call.” As I hand her my phone.
When she asks me for some random supplication, asks me to do something for her,[private] I tell her in an over-exagerrated way: “I can’t do THAT!” to make it seem huger than it is, totally joking.
After conversation is running along & I see her attraction is raised enough to start investing more into the conversation, she tilts the topic to be rambling on about trivial complaints she has.
“Why don’t you keep your mouth shut?” I ask her with a[private] playful smirk. She looks at me with disbelief that I just said that.
“What?” She asks, I guess to see if I will say it again. I said it, she heard it, time to move on.
Instead I just start rambling about a silly topic:
“I heard they’re gonna open a strip mall at Chili’s. Two-for-one appetizers. I’m going to get pizza pockets. And you get the spinach artichoke dip.”
I play mock her voice: “I’m going to get chicken fingers.’’
“ But you’re already getting a chicken Caesar salad.” I tell her in my own voice.
“Ya, but, they’re two different kinds of chicken.” I mock her voice again. She is laughing. I just wanted to change the subject so I ask her: “Have you tried the Ethiopian food in Central Square?”
When she tells me she hasn’t I go into describing how fun it is then I tell her. “I haven’t been there in a while. I’ll go with you, maybe next week & I can teach you what I know so far.”
I say: “Hey! Look at you! That tells me a lot about you.”
“That tells me you’re one of those [private] little spoiled rich girls.” I continue. “I think you’re a daddy’s-girl. You’re a daddy’s girl, aren’t you?”
“Slow down, what’s coming from this?…Oh ya poor little baby. You know what I like to do to poor little babies like you? Go down the street and get seven Mexicans. They can all bang you and satisfy your curiosity.” [/private]
Once they have started investing their energy into the conversation then you see they are becoming engaged in the conversation. At that point, it is a good time to [private] notice something about them, anything.
There is a place you can do your goofy cold reads: “It seems like you are the good one and you are the bad one. I’m glad you guys have each other to keep yourselves balanced out. That’s okay, I’ll toss you guys up on my shoulders as my angel and devil whenever I have a dramatic decision to make. We’ll be rolling down the street with each one of you on my arm…anytime there is a decision to be made, each one of you can whisper in my ear and I can see whose suggestion is more tempting.”
“I don’t like it when girls [private]drink so I’d rather you didn’t. I’m starting to think you are cool & don’t really want to see you sloppy.”
This indicates a fatherly/protective nature and also shows that you are not looking to have her judgment hindered…since you know you are a catch.
Then I tell her “If you really want a drink, why don’t you go tool some other guy, then you can come back and you can have some more conversation with the most interesting guy in this place.” [/private]
…that she is interested and then it is time to start qualifying her.
By her asking you qualifying questions, this is a subtle signal of [private]interest in itself.
To answer her questions through jokes and sarcasm will keep you an uncovered mystery she wants to know more about, but she will still answer the same questions she has just asked you. [/private]
One way to do this is offhanded comments that show you know her perspective.
You can keep it playful and joking, just say something like this:
“There was a [private]gay bartender that was giving me free drinks. Do you think he liked me or do you think he liked me/liked me?”
Using that phrase ‘liked me or liked me/liked me’ has been a girl term for many years defining the difference between a friendship liking a person has versus a liking that may be more. It is a subtle and joking way to indicate that you do ‘get it’ and know where women are coming from.
“Was it a date or was it a date-date?” is another example how girls are saying more between the lines. Have a good time, each thing you try gives you more concrete results to modify your techniques to your personality and to the situation you are in. [/private]
[private]“Hey knucklehead, show’s over here, thank you very much.” There is great value in creating and maintaining curiosity in the girl about you. This is part of starting, building and maintaining the momentum of her chasing you, in pursuit of you. Fact of the matter is, is that both the girl and the guy are truly happier this way. A girl has been pursued her whole life, since she hit puberty. Guys have been pursuing women since puberty too. She actually feels refreshed when she is pursuing the attentions of a man, and vice-versa. A point recently brought up that is an excellent factor in this is maintaining her curiosity about you. An example is the ‘open loop’ factor. By opening a curious thread, then marking it and saving it for later will leave her curious to know more from you. Here, like this: Let say we are talking about a random topic. I may interject the topic with a statement like this. “By the way, I’ve noticed something about you. I’ll tell you about that in one moment, but before I do…” Then I continue what we were talking about before I interjected that point. Now here curiosity is left open, like an open loop. On some of these she may not need to know th rest where you can bring it up later, but best bet, since it is about her, she will have this question ringing in her head quite a bit. She may let the current topic finish out, but often, since it is about her, she will try to cut things off and get you to tell her the rest. Now you have a sweet spot. You can continue to tease her, holding off the answer, treating her like your little sister that wants that last candy bar you got. You can continue to redirect back to the original topic, trying to keep her actively engaged & participating, even though the open loop will be ringing in her head. Based on her persistence, I may praise her “I like a girl who knows what she wants and actively pursues it until she gets it.” There is some subtext, some underlying meaning to making that statement to her. As she gets frustrated you can hug across her shoulders as if you are jokingly consoling her frustration. “Patience, sweetheart, best things come to those who are patient.” If you can alternate your reasons and format of putting her off, you can gauge when a good time to close the loop would be, to tell her the rest of the idea. As with other kinds of beneficial teasing, as long as you can hold her off, it will be a playful spot holding her want of some thing from you. This also is subtly showing her that you are a teasing like person and will keep her wanting more in other, more intimate situations.[/private]
over the phone, you can indicate you’d like to see her without any pressure involved. [private]
“Hey it was great talking to ya. I’ll tell you what, I’m real busy. I’ve got a lot going on but I’d love to see if we could get together, get a cup of coffee. Maybe you could catch my attention. Coffee is great too because if you are boring or psycho I can escape politely.”
By saying this indicates you are a busy guy with a lot going on in your life. Although you are busy, you’d like to take a short block of time to see what she is like, to see if you’d like to have her in your life regularly. The ‘boring or psycho’ joke is thrown in to show that you think of similar things that women do when they go on first dates, capturing the frame and owning it for yourself. [/private]
[private]I’ll escalate. I may slap her on the ass and tell her to get away if she’s being bratty (of course, with a big smile on my face and NOT emotionally reactive.)[/private]
The reason I hardly use anything of a direct compliment of beauty is because of the truth of the matter. It takes way more than beauty for me to want a girl more than one night. That’s just me personally.
Sure a woman’s good looks can [private]catch my attention, but it takes much more than that for her to be able to hold it. I have dated plenty of models, strippers and perfect 10s but if she is boring, psycho or another version of the crazy cat lady, I have better ways to spend my time.
I always want to see what she is like first. I may subtly indicate something about her has caught my attention, but clearly letting her know I want to know much more before my final decisions are made..
Not only does this qualify the type of high quality woman I want in my life, a woman values what she has caught with the essence of her personality much more than what her good looks (thank her parents) will get her. “Hey, you seemed to have a good energy about ya, I wanted to say ‘Hi’ to see what you’re like.”
It is another part of generating her to be chasing you from the first moment. A woman isn’t about to chase a guy she thinks she has won over because she had been blessed with some genetic perfection. She is going to work at getting and having the man that her conscious actions and behaviors have earned her. By this, she knows that she can continue her good behavior to keep him around even when she is sick in bed and can’t pretty-up for the day.
That’s just from my experience & preference. Guys get their successes in all sorts of ways…”Hey, with 3.4 billion women on Earth, there is no absolute method, just formulas for best results.”
(Yes, sometimes I do use the “I thought you’re cute & wanted to say hi” but I don’t do more than that since ‘cute’ can relate to more than her looks…and “Beauty without personality is like a masterpiece painted on a napkin” The reason I say ‘thought’ is that it was my first impression and now by talking I am checking if she lives up to my guess, but that’s just me.)[/private]
to show and express his sexuality, his masculinity in its true form.
By building up her excitement and passion with you while keeping your obtained-ability to be slightly out of her reach…for her to not know for sure, this is key. Keeping you slightly out of her reach to fully capture, keeps her attraction switches to be fully on.
[private]
People always want more what they cannot have, but what they want most is what they almost can have, but not quite yet. When it is just barely out of their reach, they see what reward they will get if they work just a little bit harder. While she is thinking she can almost have you, this keeps her in full pursuit.
If you are too easy to get, she is going to lose interest and chase a different prize. If you are too hard to catch, her efforts are going to show her no results so then she would chase somebody who she thinks she can catch.
By keeping her in that ‘almost’ state keeps her chasing and each time you give her a tiny bit more of you, she feels a big reward from that. Like dangling a piece of string for a cat, almost within reach so it plays. Every so often it catches a piece of the string with a claw but it is pulled away so it wants it more, it beefs up its strategy. It keeps playing, it keeps chasing.
[/private]
Heather announces “This is Jodie, she’s my princess….the coolest!”
Telling Jodie my name, I go on to [private] introduce myself, the group-hug them both. Then I ask Jodie what she likes best about Heather is? She tells me Heather looks out for her friends before looking out for herself, that she can make a party out of a board meeting, and that she is the sweetest girl ever.
“That’s sounds about right.” I tell them. “I like a party girl who takes care of who she loves.” and I give them both a high-five. In that simple move I have found out what I like to be in a girl to be in my life.
I showed how much I do like that and kept the playful affection to be easy going [/private]
…momentum while at a nightclub was that I asked her if she likes old landmarks. “You know those that have been there forever and you feel like you’re in an old Scorcese movie?” She tell me: “Yes” and I say: “Me too.”
Since I was casually watching our drinks, [private]
we finished them at the exact same time. Then I showed her in my expression that a phenomenal idea just popped in my head: “Have you heard of the Enormous Room?…That is exactly the type of place we were discussing, let’s go check it out. It’s right around the corner. Aw, what the hell. If we don’t like it, we can come right back, I’ll leave my tab open.”
All I did was to suggest something that I pre-qualified as an interest we shared. Ten minutes later we were splitting a combo appetizer plate, sitting on the bench-couches in the enormous room.
[/private]
Not having a guy orgasm during a sexual encounter does leave a heavy open loop in a girl. Usually I use this loop in a single night to keep her coming back to me wanting more, allowing me to bring her to higher and higher orgasms with each attempt she has.
This creates a reward pattern of her coming at me sexually. Also with having the opportunity to bring her to major heights in climax that she may have never had before or definitely isn’t used to, that will stay on her mind and have her back for more repeatedly. [private]
Learning through practice, the discipline to hold yourself off from orgasm can be incredibly valuable. Although I hear a lot of buzz about ‘getting a girl to have a squirting orgasm’ recently, not every girl will let that happen in her body. I read a paper bound book about squirting years ago and have seen that it can be amazingly satisfying for a girl. The only sticking point, is that a girl has to be totally willing and wanting for it to happen. A huge part of being able to make that happen, like other sexual magic, all starts in a girls mind & emotions before anything else….and carrying everything along its way.
One thing I found that works with any girl to increase the volume of their magical moment, and also maintains the momentum of her to be in pursuit of the guy, starts with that discipline I just mentioned. I like to tease a girl until she is begging to have me inside of her. Like many parts of her in pursuit of the guy, it is both satisfying for the girl & the guy. I love to hear a girl begging for my cock to be inside of her.
I have written posts about a slow teasing pattern that works in oral sex on a girl, so this is about intercourse teasing. To lay out the groundwork, I can start explaining from the point when you both are naked. Let’s say she is naked and lying on her back, she is ready to take you inside of her. You are naked and perched in a way above her.
I do not put my cock in yet. I take the tip of it and rub all around her vaginal lips, down one side then up the other. Maybe her I go to making out a little bit again, then brush across those lips from side to side with just the tip of my cock. “Does that feel good?” I may ask. At this point I will not enter her at all, I am now playing all around her vagina just with the tip. This is getting her very aroused, wet and super turned on in desire. From everything she knows about sex, this is the time she knows she should have a cock inside of her, but it hasn’t happened yet. She wants it.
As I said, most of the magic a girl will feel starts in her mind and her emotions so I playfully talk to her this whole time. I tell her she feels good, that she is so wet, that she feels hot, I feel the heat of her pussy. Since I know what a main thought is on her mind, I capture that and tell her “I want to feel inside you so bad.”
Sometimes a girl will say right away “Then put it in!” or something. I do not. Even though she just said that I will still ask her “Do you want me to?” She’ll say yes & I say “Then say please.” This whole time I am still tickling her pussy with the tip of my cock. Sometimes she will try to get it easy and just say “Please” but that still isn’t enough.
“No hun, tell me to put my cock in you please” as I am still tickling and teasing her with the tip of my cock. Up and down both sides of her vaginal lips, across them back and forth and the tip even between her lips, feeling her wetness but not inserted at all. I keep doing this while kissing her neck sometimes until she says what I asked her to say.
Once she says that I put about ½ of an inch in, still rubbing up and down her lips but inserting this ½ inch and pulling out, rubbing her wetness all over the sides of her lips too. “Ok, but just a little bit.” (a game called ‘just the tip, just for a second, to see how it feels.) She will feel this wetness; the coolness of the air where she is wet will let her feel her wetness, turning her on even more. I will do this for a little while since the longer you can do this the more desire for a cock in her will totally increase.
After a few minutes of this I will ask her “Does that feel good?” Which she will tell me “Yes.”
I confirm what she said by telling her “So good” which she very much like to hear. Then I will ask her “Do you want me in you more?”
When she says “Yes” I will instruct her again: “Then ask me.”
If she just asks without the please, once again I will tell her to say the whole sentence, adding ‘please’ to it. Once she complies with my request to ask a certain way, I will comply with her request. Still this time I will enter her more but only a whole inch of my cock will enter her. I will put in an inch, take it completely out so it rubs her front lips a lot, this is affecting her clitoris. “That’s all for now.” I will go back to rubbing up and down the lips, then only putting my cock an inch in. Rubbing up and down her lips and across, side to side, is making vibrations that will be tickling her clitoris while indicating the possibility of the whole cock in her which she wants so much more at this point. The longer this is done, the more this will increase her desire, and increasing her climax when she finally gets it.
With the things said, and the holding back, this teasing is what engages her mind and emotions to be on the same wavelength as her body, increasing what her body feels. Every time you pull completely out, and hold outside of her for a moment, she is feeling the sensations she just felt with a cock in her but now those feelings are fading. She likes those feelings, she wants more. Not only is this significantly turning the volume way up on her desire, it is showing a man with great discipline which she will be very attractive to her.
From her experience with men who want to get her to bed and get right down to business right away, doing this has you sticking out in her mind already. Then when the sexy-time is over, even days later she will be daydreaming, recalling the encounter, wanting more.
So for each step, I ask her if she wants more, I get her in the habit of asking me with please. As her desire grows she will start asking just because you showed her what gets her more, then held off for a while with only 1 & ½ inches in her. She knows what will get her more; her desire is up so high she will start emotionally begging. Each time you can hold off. As she is asking for more on her own, you can hold off longer & she will ask over and over, it will get her sexually begging. This is a place both the guy and the girl are happier and getting more fulfillment.
As you progress in ½ inch increments, you will see her moving her body in ways to get you deeper. She may even wrap her lags around your hips to pull you in. The more you can hold off, even resisting these moves with your strength; she will try harder and try different ways, till the sex becomes a play wrestling game. I will continuously remind her: “Not yet honey” if she tries to pull me in without asking. She is asking you in a voice of desperation, wanting your cock in her, and making moves to get more. This is fantastic momentum to be in and maintain as long as possible. The longer you can hold each step to be, before advancing to the next one will be building up a steam like pressure. The longer you hold off, the larger her orgasm will be.
Once you do get to that place where you are all the way inside of her, pelvis to pelvis, I would not just take up the in-and-out, jackhammer routine. If you can tilt your pelvis in a rocking motion over hers, you will be stimulating her clitoris with a whole cock inside of her. This doesn’t normally happen. If every guy she has ever been with has given her the jackhammer routine, sure it feels good to a point, but not as in depth with feelings as this.
To keep variety in the rocking, I will take my cock completely out of her. I then will pause for a moment to let the feelings she just had sink in and her desire to rise again. Sometimes coming completely out of her, then back in will alternate the deep feelings of cock with the lips that will jiggle her clitoris a bit. Alternating these sensations for her will give her an orgasm on a wider, larger level.
Then other times, taking the cock completely out of her, pausing, then just play with her lips with the tip of your cock as you did before. Again this is going to be tickling her clitoris, and teasing her to want your cock inside of her even more since she just had those feelings and wants them again.
Although other things can be done with a girlfriend that is more comfortable on the trust level and all of that, I have found this to work almost every time, even with a first night with a girl. There has been more than one girl who has told me that she only can come when she gets oral & girls have said they only come when they are on top. In both of these types of situations, I have brought them to orgasm in a way they didn’t know was possible, missionary position with me on top. Although it may not be my favorite position for sex, I do know there is something very fulfilling for her on another sense from face to face intercourse with her on the bottom.[/private]
After a few minutes go went by, and you see she is engaged in talking to you & completely facing you, you can stop[private] bantering and start letting her know who you really are.
I see many guys continuing on in the major excitement and attraction type talk well after they have her well interested.
I think most guys do this because the behavior causes girls to show how attractive they are and this can be quite intoxicating to be receiving this kind of attention. The thing is, once you see the interest engaged you definitely need to start building some lasting rapport.
You can always come back to the fun stuff in a little bit. Start talking about points in your real life, challenges you are really facing, about the embarrassment at your last family function. If you hear her mention parts about her family or growing up, ask for more details of the real stuff. These type of topics lead to real connection that is easy to bring back in other conversations later.[/private]
Into the first few minutes of a conversation with a new girl. You can make it very clear that you do not put a mark on any kind of pedestal. As she is telling you different points you can easily say “Oh reeeeallly?” or
“Uh-huh” as you would if your little sister was telling you her newest fabrication of fiction.
This is another great way to clearly indicate her that her beauty has no intimidating power of you whatsoever. Obviously she’s going to wonder what makes you so confident, especially since every other guy seems to supplicate her every beck and call.
After a few minutes went by, and you see she is engaged in talking to you & completely facing you, you can stop bantering and start letting her know who you really are. I see many guys continuing on in the major excitement and attraction type talk well after they have her well interested.
I think most guys do this because the behavior causes girls to show how attractive they are and this can be quite intoxicating to be receiving this kind of attention. The thing is, once you see the interest engaged you definitely need to start building some lasting rapport. Sprinkle in the teasing every so often since it is exciting and tha twill show you are unpredictable.
Start talking about points in your real life, challenges you are really facing, about the embarrassment at your last family function. If you hear her mention parts about her family or growing up, ask for more details of the real stuff. These type of topics lead to real connection that is easy to pick up later.
when interacting with new girls the goal is NOT to avoid potential conflict. It is good to act and indicate you are okay with having some conflict. Sometimes girls use this as one of their chick-tests to see how supplicating you are. She may not even feel strongly about an issue she is pressing, she may just be seeing how committed you are to your own views. If you can be strong against a sleight disagreement in options, how are you going to pioneer the two of you through the world?
When you have a strong identity, a strong sense of self, [private]you don’t worry about what she thinks. A strong man, a leader will freely hear any opposing views to his own views, he is comfortable with this. You have come to your conclusions and values from a very careful cost/reward process in your head. The mood swing of a beautiful woman cannot sway this judgment, she needs to know that. She will respect you more and therefore be more attracted.
Hearing any and all opposing views is very good to this. You can even rephrase what they have said with how they came to their conclusion: “I Hear that you feel X about Y and that is because of A, B, and C.”
Then they hear that you clearly heard them, yet no indication that you would change your perspective without the credible enough information that brought you to your first conclusion.
When a girl tells me these things, she is clear to know that her opinions and thoughts are not my top priority. She has to earn a place in my perspective and still have credible information for me to work with.
I think about what I like and what makes me feel good before worrying about her concerns of this nature. Women are built to be socially accommodating. Helping a man that she like enjoy himself does make her feel very good in itself. When she has proven herself to be up to speed, she will get some of the taking care of come back to her.
I don’t spend every moment to moment in our interactions trying to connect with her. It is okay to disconnect every so often. I am never worried that she might see something in me that might push her away. It is better for her to see such things so there are no surprises later. More than a trivial factor about a man that is a turn off, his confidence with his whole package is more attractive than anything else. Show yourself, warts and all.
[/private]
[private]One of the aspects that I see frequently happen during times of LMR is when I take a girl’s pants off. Maybe a moment or two later she slides them back up. I’ve learned a finesse that I would recommend practicing until your good. That is easily and smoothly taking girls clothes off so that they hardly notice while you are making out. They like it that way. They would rather have a guy who can smoothly take their bra off that they didn’t even notice because your hands were smooth and you are in the middle of making-out.
not her [private]mind if some bitchy is happening. Don’t even bother trying to change her mind. That is a 50/50 if that. Her mood wants to come along to any adventure you can think of. [/private]
When she compliments me on something, I instantly own the frame by saying: “I’m not giving you my phone number so just quit it.”
When guys compliment a newly met girl, this is the mode of thinking the girls have. When guy compliments them, girls think this guy is going to want their number or something along those lines, or they remind themselves of the past experiences that have shown them this.
By taking that frame, you do show you know where [private] they are coming from.
You also are starting a momentum of thinking that shows her you see something in her ways that tells you she is interested in you.
Based of those few factors she will wonder to herself if she is interested in you and then that interest is more likely to grow.
One of my favorites and seems to work better than butter when she says something like “I like your…(anything)” which I say “No you don’t, you’re just attracted to me.”
Again, from what girls have learned about guys and social thinking, they think the guy must be attracted to them when guys compliment her. Then she will be slightly wondering to herself if that is why she mentioned it.[/private]
I may say when I hear a point about a new girl that I like.
This does a few things. I am[private] calling her dude, which will false disqualify me from her thinking I am hitting on her in any way.
Calling a girl ‘dude’ indicates I see her as a chick-buddy and nothing else.
Next in the phrase, I am referring to our ‘friendship’. I hear guys all the times talking about ways to stay out of her ‘Friend-zone’.
What I have found through years of experience is that I am frequently indicating that she may stay in my ‘friend-zone’ if she doesn’t play her cards right. Once a girl feels she might get slooted this way, she increases what she can to avoid it.
This is another way to generate her to be chasing you, or chasing to have more with you very early on.
I also haven’t told her she definitely has a place to be my friend, it is not definite yet. I say “This friendship MAY work…”
Yes there are things about her I like, but she has not won me over yet. As I have said before, to keep a girl in that sweet spot between total validation and lack there of is what will keep her working to be with you.
Girls like this better anyways. They know that there are steps they need to take, behaviors the need to have to be rewarded with a specific guy’s interest. She does not feel that just because she looks hott in a picture that her desires are automatically fulfilled, she has to work to get what she wants, and this feels much better in itself anyways. [/private]
…so I have to ask her if she’s working with security tonight. She tells me [private]she is not what starts laughing when I tell her she had that authoritative security looked tonight. I then asked her if she do some crazy flying judo kick to anyone who stepped out of line. A few salsa moves get things close enough for me to run my fingers through the back of her hair. Within two minutes of this I converse with her close, face close instead of talking to her ear in a kiss can happen.[/private]
…thank you very much.” I have said to a distracted girl more than once
There is great value in creating and maintaining curiosity in the girl about you. This is part of starting, building and maintaining the momentum of her chasing you, in pursuit of you. Fact of the matter is, [private] that both the girl and the guy are truly happier this way. A girl has been pursued her whole life, since she hit puberty. Guys have been pursuing women since puberty too.
As far as it goes. You will get the hang of reading girl-cues and it will serve you wonders like a magic code.They are key in the whole open to lay process.
You learn starter, openers, but you gotta be ‘EYE-OPEN’ to these cues. Its like a hidden language that once you learn to read it, you learn to send it & they respond to yours better than anything you can say.
Rather than coming in with a goal of success, I clearly stated that I wanted the opposite. Approaching a few girls I said:
“Hey could you guys blow us out. We have to get blown out.”
When they ask what it is. “Well we are going to get into some conversations & you can be totally rude or something.”
This definitely caught them by surprise and they were very warm for the conversation.
You see, enjoying the moments at hand rather than going in with one outcome desired to define your success to yourself, makes a huge difference in the tempo you set and the one they receive.
Go into these conversations just to enjoy them in the moments that they are, she will too enjoy this and that in itself will lead to results better coming along than if your dependency on a single outcome affects your felt energy.
” 
