Most guys seem to take these types of resistance personally but when you look at the facts on the table there is no reason to do that.
First I want you to be proud of your success that you did lean in to go for a kiss.
So many guys hesitate from even doing this for a bunch of reasons the get created in a mind until the facts are analyzed.
They want it to be outrageously clear and explicit that she wants a kiss and won’t pull away or show resistance in any way.
With so many variables in each person, each moment, and every interaction, there is no absolute formula to guarantee anything. There is however ways to increase your calibration so you have better sense of how likely things are to happen.
That is a main focuse in my coaching and teaching is designed to help guys generate an maintain the momentum of that increasing.
But before that and a great help to that is a series of things to keep in mind when in these situations to start the ball rolling.
Yes there are exceptions to everything but girls as a rule do not make the moves to kiss a guy. There are also ways to build up sexual tension so she is more likely to do so if she would, but this is still uncommon.
To be fully embracing both their naturally encoded femininity and the way contemporary culture solidify moat of this, girls do not initiate these sort of things.
They are basically left with two responses to choose from. To accept the escalation (in this example, the kiss) or to deny it as it is coming in.
That’s it: Accept it or Deny it. That’s generally the root of her role in this dynamic, accept or deny.
But don’t take it personal at all, it really has nothing to do with you. It is just the particular stage of the process you are at so far and her personal…
(This is from my phone, I’ll have to come back to this & elaborate from a computer.)
It seems to be a human condition that our minds are set up to try and figure out and come to conclusions about people think of us. From what I have seen this is generally not the case of truth, what conclusions we come up with.
The largest percentage of people go through life seeking validation from everyone in various ways.
Do not try and force a feminine energy to make decisions. She looks to you for that.
Sure, she will offer her[private] input at times but really, at the heart of the matter, she likes to follow a good lead. She finds comfort in that.
Yes we all have a good balance of feminine and masculine energies within us but she does not want to maginfy her masculine.
This is your masculine gift of clarity and decisivenss. Embrace your gift. Understand that you were born with a mind that operates more on the linear, logical plane than anything else.
If she is pushed into this, she will do it yet she will become chronically sharp, angular in her approach, very un-feminine like her nature. This will be an uncomfortable place for her and for yóu if you truly embrace yóur masculinity. From cornering herself into what she feels forced to be, she will be distrustful of love at it’s root. From the forced place of it, she will cease to surrender to his love and instead fill the void. She will, in essence, become her own man. [/private]
When it comes to kissing, I hear a bunch of different comments guys will say to feel her out.
Girls like the mystery and surprise (to a point) and the [private] effects and feelings of chemistry.
Usually I will set it up so that I & the girl are talking, close even, face to face. If it is a loud venue, I do not talk in her ear (she’ll be seeing something over my shoulder that might catch her attention) I talk close to her face so she can hear me, but still face to face. You can see the tension, sexual tension rising by talking this close. At those points you can also detect her receptivity to something like your closeness & even a kiss. Maybe you see she licks her lips to be ready. Good sign. Maybe you see her look from one of your eyes to the other, then to your lips. Good sign. To inspire some of this in her, that is a great announcement via body-language that you’re going to kiss her. Look from one of her eyes to the other, then look to her lips and lick yours. Then keep talking, while watching her. You can gauge her receptivity and still hold off for a moment building her sexual tension, anticipation. This is a teasing sweet spot. Once you can see she isn’t turning away to spite the tension you’ve created, this is the unspoken invitation to kiss her. Sometimes I like to take it a step further. I get my lips close to hers, very close, but I still don’t kiss her yet. I just inhale though my mouth so the closeness causes air to rush over her face. Maybe I just take the tip of my tongue and trace her bottom lip so lightly as if it was the tip of a feather. Her desire will increase tremendously. She so wants the kiss at this point so when I do kiss her, I kiss her good. She’s been built up with the tease so I give her a passion filled, deep-sorta kiss, still breaking it off a little early to keep her wanting more.
Eye seduction starts with extending gazing that eventually starts [private] roaming across her face. Throughout the gaze, eyes never leave her face. A passing train couldn’t distract your eye contact is the ultimate caress. Drop your eyes a bit like you are squinting at a painting. This will give you those bedroom eyes that are very arousing. Tilt your head down, let your focus relax.[/private]
It is very good to keep talking (even standing there for a pause in dialog) until you have an explicit sign, them walking away or asking you to leave. It keeps your social muscles well exercised and by switching topics, you will find one that sparks more interest in the girls or a single girl of the group.
The essence of rolling out once you get a high point is that [private] you should be back. You get to a high point, then rolling out then has them wanting more of you already. This is a great way to start the momentum of them wanting you. Making a habit with telling every group you’ll be back is good. If you find that you are not interested in the group, you do not have to but it is good to be doing that. Remember who you opened & what you talked about than come back in and plow some more.
Rolling in and out gives the felling you are the sociable guy who is not needy, deeper rapport will start to happen, ‘their friend in the club’, yet when you roll back in you can escalate things with your target even more.
With that 3 set at Tavern, you saw me lock in, I took a chair, very comfortable. It would be good for you to pull up a chair or when you roll back in to grab a chair from a nearby table and bring it up to theirs. Then by keeping the conversations going as long as possible, your rapport is growing, they are getting more used to your personality, more comfortable knowing you better. Keep your ears open for points you hear them bring up. Once you can be asking them more details about their topics, they are talking more, getting more invested.
A girl who has spent 30 minutes talking to you will fell like she knows you much better than if she spent 30 minutes listening. At first you have to take up the majority of the talking space, but once you have them gabbing, do what you can to keep them talking. Ask the more details about subjects they like, they get excited about, things they are passionate about.
To better indicate your interest in a particular target of the table, you can switch from doing tricks and telling funny stories to asking about her life, qualifying the girl for you. Find out what she does, what she studies, what in life she has that makes her feel truly alive.
As you get better at watching the women you are talking to and detecting how their feeling and such, you’ll be able to go much further. Things like good timing of when to [private]turn your back on her and engage you attention into something else for a bit. This is great when you detect sparks of attraction in her before they are explicit enough. Just in the moment when she feels emotionally stimulated or in need of validation, it is time to turn away slightly, causing her to lean in a little more. Attraction is just a tool to use. When she pulls you back, you can subtly reward her with a touch on the arm or showing in a subtle way that you are interested in her.. If you can tell her attraction for you has jumped, you can turn your back on her a moment. As you come back, if you go to kiss her, you will see she is more likely to accept the kiss.
“I never learn a thing when I talk about myself. Tell me a thing that makes your toes curl. What do you really desire more than anything. Tell me something that noone else knows about you. What’s the most unusual place you’ve hooked up with a guy? How about with a girl?!? If you were writing cosmo tonight, how would you describe your sexual fantasies?”
Like a cat, you need to keep attention and validation slightly out of the girl’s reach. If she finds everything, to be too easily acquired from you, she will get bored and quickly lose interest. On the other hand, if it feels completely unobtainable she will also lose interest and give up, go on to do something else. You keep these things, just barely out of her reach but continuously entice her in small increments.
Another way to begin the momentum of her curiosity is to pick something about her. Then say “You know what they say about women who….****.” (Whatever I can see about her). But I don’t tell her, I just look at her in a knowing way.
Like sometimes when I am talking to a girl and I pick something she has said with “YOU’ SUCH A Girl.” They’ll be asking what/why but I just smirk at them and turn my head away from them. It will emotionally frustrate them but in a good teasing way. That kind of playful emotional frustration that can lead them to chasing a guy they like.
“If I didn’t have to split now, I’d stay around & make out with you but I gotta go.” Usually gets a funny weird enough reaction. I have seen more than once a girl will use topics very detached from this to keep me hanging around a bit. Once I see this happening, I know I am in a sweet spot.
A girl’s emotional mind really wants to tame a wild guy. Someone who is unpredictable and surprising, who she has to work for, that she could lose at any moment.
When you hear those feeler ‘qualifying questions’ from a girl to you, mark it in your mind is a good sign. She is interested in you enough to want to know more and see more of what you’re like. She might say “So what do you do” as with all the questions, especially the qualifying ones, I use these as opportunities to joke or tease with her. You have her undivided attention; play with it a little bit like she is your little sister. If she asks me “So CJ, what do you do” I might tell her “I’m an ice sculptor. Last night I perfected the cube. You wait; with this tray I’ll be doing 12 next week.” Now I’m not saying you never tell her. I just put it off for the time being in the beginning. There will be an automatic stereotype of some sort attached to every profession there is. By deflecting for the time being avoids this and more indicates your likelihood for joking and being playful AND this also shows that earning her acceptance is not on your list. You know how cool you are, you have no need to give her your verbal resume. I do eventually tell her one of two ways. If she asks a second time in the conversation it shows she is really interested. I may tell her then jump to a story of what I wanted to be when I was a little kid, This is giving her the factual information she wants, still maintaining a better fun theme to what you guys are talking about.
The other thing I may say with many questions I am asked. “Don’t worry, we’ll get to that” sort of thinking. I make a mental bookmark in my head about something she inquired about. Then later after we have continued our current threads of conversation and topics have changed, maybe I bring it back up “You asked before about…”. By doing this, she will feel like she was better listened to. You came back to the point. Still, even at this point, I most likely will let her know what she wanted to know then segue it in a topic that is more fun anyway.[/private]
As I’ve said before a single body language cue cannot tell you much but when several cues are all occurring at the same time that have similar meaning, a summary/conclusion can be drawn from this. Great benefits from understanding body language happen when you choose to use more of your own body language to express yourself. Research has shown that nonverbal signals can carry up to five times as much impact as the words spoken. Women especially, frequently roll on the [private]nonverbal messages that they see and hear, often times disregarding the words spoken.
Much of what your body language is doing has to be congruent with what you are saying & how you feel or else most women are able to read the conflict. Knowing the body language cues is very helpful though, since most men aren’t very expressive with their body language by knowing the cues you can turn up the volume of the messages you are sending.
When it comes to the handshake, many men grow up believing a firm one is the only way to go with everybody. In man to man interactions, the integrity and dominance are judged by the handshake. However, with a woman it is a totally different story, many men will still use their ‘firm handshake’ (sometimes too firm) when meeting a woman.
What I have found, in the subtle differences starts with a woman’s perception, is a few changes will establish a few things in her mind about you. Women are not as accustomed to the regularity of handshaking for meeting new people as men are. When it does happen I usually start with a firm (not too firm, just solid contact, all the way around) handshake to her to have the solid essence of my personality. Since there is no need to express dominance on a first meet up with woman (that may come later), I tilt my hand a bit so her hand is in my hand yet on top of mine. This lets her feel safe with the first meet up and since her hand is resting in mine, I do not pull my hand back. I keep talking and let her hand stay in mine as long as she wants to leave it there. She can have comfort in our physical contact and if we keep talking she usually leaves it there a bit longer than handshake might last, indicating to me a pleasant reception.
During a first handshake, I already know that I am the man, the dominant gender of our species. I may later make moves and have statements to remind her of this dominance that she can feel safe in, yet during a first meeting it is already pre-defined.
I also like to see, by the maintained conversation and maintained eye-contact, her feeling no pressure to pull her hand back. I think the extended eye-contact is another factor that she likes yet doesn’t want to interrupt it by pulling her hand back. On first meeting, this alone establishes a lot of comfort with touching and the extended eye contact builds up the sexual tension.[/private]
There will be times when you are talking to a girl and there are issues that generate a deep rapport for you to share together. That can be good in all, but remember you just met this girl.
When it comes to people you have just met, a great way to connect is [private] establishing and maintaining more of a wide rapport,on many subjects. This is when you have many different subjects that you agree on. This is when you have many perspectives that you see eye to eye on. These are the types of people we end up meeting and feeling like we have known forever.
With all people many factors that started in our childhood never changed throughout our adulthood. We still do still operate on the award/punishment scales. Is she laughing at your jokes? It is time to reward her in some way. Show her you like this. Is she being offhandedly affectionate? There is another time to offhandedly reward her and indicate that you enjoy her.
When you first meet a girl, be it online or in person, as with much of the dynamic, you are going to have to use your first 90 seconds to be amazing, the ‘wow factor.’ Then and still she knows more about what you have to offer to the interaction, and about you as a person, you will have to take out 85 – 90% of the conversation space. (Remember girls hate silences, at first they are all uncomfortable).
As you to get to know each other then the scales seem to even out. My favorite place which you can discover as she tells you more about herself, is when she is taking up most of the talking time and you were just listening. I personally like to listen very much. I learned a lot about people in those places.
As I am listening I am making little notes in my head of topics to revisit and which ones she seems most passionate about that would be fun to talk about in more detail at a later time.
She starts out with such a small percentage because she is warming up to you and learning about your personality. Women are born social creatures. Much of this comes from learning about a person one is speaking with an identifying the points of rapport. She’s also learning which topics and styles seem to get her the most conversational reward as she shares her stories with you.
Guys who do not put this extra effort into a conversation with a girl they just met, I often see them letting it fizzle out and then walking away feeling like they were not liked. This definitely may not be the case and probably isn’t if you were trying to go 50/50 on the conversational talk time. Guys go on to think that a girl did not like them. This could be absolutely the opposite of the case, yet her natural womanly behaviors keep things this way until they are not, when she feels comfortable opening up more to you. I hate to hear guys are thinking that their opener was not clever enough.
The opener is nothing my friend. It is merely a spark to the fire of conversation, to get it going. It is the fire. It is what happens after that initial introduction that decides the connection between two people. (As a side note, I was recently talking to a check friend who made the point that our guy who would not be that hot in a photograph, once he gets her laughing he becomes pretty ‘smokin’.
It is what it is, but I hate to hear guys looking for that bonus prize, that ‘get me laid’ opening statement they can make to a woman. As with you, it takes something more than that which will just catch the attention, you need something that’ll hold her attention and build things up like never before. I hate to talk about these things like this so extreme, but once you’re in the essence of a moment those times will happen.
When it comes that first conversation I would suggest touching upon many different subjects. It is easy and very beneficial to keep changing the subject. You’ll see the ones that spark her up a bit. These you can amplify for a moment while noting in your head what they were. You can bring these to a high point then once you change the subject you can remember which topics to touch back upon.
By covering many different subjects throughout a first conversation you are feeling out which of the many topics you two can have rapport on and which subjects you can keep coming back to. Consistently changing topics rather than talking one to its dying day will keep you evidenced as the interesting guy you really are.
You really are. Think about it think about how many topics you do have interest in. Think about how many things really excite you. If you can briefly touch upon many of these it will do two wonderful things in an early conversation. It will show that you are a passionate guy because you keep talking about the numerous subjects you do get passionate about. Girls are very attracted to a passionate guy. Girls are very attracted to interesting guys with numerous subjects they have interest in.
Once your passion is revealed you will either see her shared passion in such therefore establishing a beginning rapport on the subject or she will just see yours. Even if she does not share the passion which you do she will admire your passion for it. Then once you have covered many topics and out of these found many that you BOTH share a passion about, you rapport is growing wide… across numerous topics. Here is how we find the type of people we can talk about anything with. I bet you can remember hearing of a girl talking about a guy she liked a lot. I bet that is exactly one thing she said about him (we could talk about anything.)
Now this is great, you can just keep talking and talking while switching and changing subjects. You just keep on talking making enough pauses to give her chances to respond. She may not, and you are not dependent on this but while doing this the second you see that something you are talking about happens to spark something in her you can clam up. Clam up so she has a chance to participate in this topic. Then you can help her to elaborate her points. You can ask for elaboration on details she mentions. While listening, it is nice to hold eye contact with a slight grin and nodding through her every word. This will tell her that you are paying good attention to her, intently listening and eager to hear her next passages. Doing this you can remain always ready to jump in and take over the conversation with points you heard and mentally bookmarked whenever needed.
As conversation is moving along you can cause new topics and ask for open-ended questions. I would suggest you commit to never asking any sort of ‘yes/no’ type of questions. With a little practice you can learn to make sure all of your questions are the open-ended type. The types that will inspire her to have long-winded answers are great. This whole time you can listen to her answer while mentally taking notes on details to ask her about.
Often girls will have to elaborate their answers to your creative questions. Other times girls may say something like: “Um… I don’t know.” This may happen because she really does not know an answer. Other times this may happen because she feels on the spot, she hasn’t gotten comfortable enough with you yet to open up and discuss things with you elaborately. Either way, you can clarify the question some.
This not only will give for a more detailed description of what you’re asking but also gives her a few moments to think about the answer to the first question you asked.
Sometimes girls need this. Whereas they might have felt to be put on the spot at first, while listening to you rephrase it they can be gathering an answer.
For example, to get to the core of our passions is often useful to look at our childhood. I may ask her something like: “Do you remember when you were a kid, what it was that you wanted to be when you grew up?”
Many times I find girls frequently do remember what this was. Maybe they love animals and wanted to be a veterinarian. Maybe they thought it would be cool if they were a nurse. If they tell me that they don’t remember I can give them an example of the type of answer I was looking for by giving them my own.
“Aw shucks (I say jokingly) that’s too bad. I find it can be pretty useful to figure out what we were thinking as kids to understand the core of our passions today. When I was in preschool, even before I could read, I still like to play as if I was reading books. The teacher’s aide told me I look like a lawyer so I was convinced her for some time that’s what I would be. I would go home and play mock trial with my parents either being a lawyer or being a judge. As I got older I never much wanted to be a lawyer but I do get a kick out of reading a lot and you find a strange fascination in the logic and reasoning that can be used in the courtroom.”
Nowas I gave my reply I gave very much into it. I was very sincere and told her about things I would play when I was a child. Sometimes by showing example, putting that ‘Umph’ into the reply will be modeling to her what you expected. Then she might be more likely to give you a more passionate answer and think some more about her own childhood.
As you are doing those things in qualifying her, once she passes the little tests you have presented it is time to seize the moment. “Oh my God, you are so cool. How can we make sure we hang out again? This is a lot of fun.”
You can even seize the moment and reward her right away. “That is so awesome!” And then pulled her close to you to kiss her on the cheek. There is never a reason to waste time. Once you detect that moment at hand it is time to seize it. Many guys a lawful themselves out of the park because of too many worry statements were second-guesses. Girls live on a moment to moment basis. When the moment is high and you guys are sharing one they love it to be seized. It feels natural. It feels like a natural connection in the moment of that connection was seized by you both.
Practice talking about racy subjects. Sexual topic should be an easy, free-flowing type of conversation that falls easily from your lips. This is showing that sex is an easy-going topic for you. This will also show that you are somewhat of a seductive person and have plenty of experience with women. They like that. It shows a skilled lover and a man who has been qualified by many girls previously. This will indicate to her that since you have been pre-qualified by many girls before her, she is less work to do. This actually is way more of a weighted qualification because girls never truly know how to properly qualify a guy. They keep trying in many different ways to cover obvious bases but there have been plenty of times before when they have done that and it not work out as they had expected.
“I am not the kind of guy that would just take a girl that caught his attention home the first night and give her a night of pleasure and continuous orgasms. I am not that easy. I see you have real potential to hold my attention but you can at least buy me a few drinks first.”
Another great way to turn up the thermostat for the heat of your interaction is simply to talk about kissing. Let’s say you been talking for five or 10 minutes and felt some genuine rapport developing between the two of you at some point when you are close in proximity during the conversation you can just ask her: “If I were to kiss you, on a scale of 1-10, how do you think I’d rate your kiss?”
At this point not only will she be trying to take pride at a presumed high score, she’s going to imagine kissing you. It will cross her mind at this point in the image is likely to pop in every so often since she started. At this time, I myself, since I was thinking about it as well, might start alternating my gaze from her eyes to her lips every so often. It might be nice to imagine what those lips taste like at this point. Because I do love the woman’s eyes sometimes I find it hypnotic to triangulate my gaze upon her. That is if you alternate from eye to other eye to her lips, this can feel very sensual just making the gaze that way. She will probably notice this too and feel sensuality from your gaze. I remember sometimes while doing this, girls have done either offhanded or explicit moves to get this happening.
Offhandedly they may just move close or get their face closer to yours. Explicitly, yet much less common and seen a girl come right in to kiss me on the lips. A few times when they had done this it seemed like they were distracted for a second as they came in for the kiss and then went on with talking as if they just had to satisfy a sudden craving distraction.
Sometimes hints may work better than anything else. Let her mind play with what you stated but then move on. There is no need to make your coy statements and then stop speaking because you’re waiting for her reaction. “I have a bottle of whipped cream in the fridge. You should come home with me and help me finish it off. The bouncer here reminds me of Jim Gaffigan.”
If you do make a statement and sort of positive her reaction, watch her carefully. If you see in her face and/or body that she isn’t heated up enough for this yet, you can take it away. “We should go back to my place and massage oil onto each other skin. I just picked up this kind that smells and tastes like mangoes.” (but if you do see her face showing anything but eager anticipation…) “No, wait a second. You are pretty tall I don’t think I have enough for your body.”
You see, before you took it away you illustrated a nice semi-sexual picture of imagery and her brain. Women love the imagination since theirs does paint magical pictures. Even if she had a bit of hesitancy to your suggestion, don’t worry, the picture will stay for a while and it will flash back every so often.
As you know, any ‘No’ she says is simply ‘No’. That’s easy. She wont even say it unless it is real But when it comes to subtle hesitations things are different, so I hate to see guys interpreting the worst out of these. If she did find a place to express her minor hesitation, like anything else, it is all a joke until it’s taken seriously. Laugh it off. Laugh heartily and then change the subject. Women are very funny like this when you don’t need to take their comments in a moment to be much at all. Many times she has many rejections. It is to satisfy her need not to look like the stereotypical ‘slut’. Most girls seem to have a need to establish themselves away from the stereotype. I think by laughing it off and not taking it seriously or personally rather, shows the insignificance you find in the stereotype anyways.
This also shows that you take any rejection towards you as kind of a joke. Since girls usually fall into your arms and you understand she is saying what needs to be said to establish herself as a non-slut, all you can do is laugh it off. You heard it, you accept it, you allow her to establish what she needs to (as not having behaviors that would classify her as a ‘slut) but still not taking it too seriously or personally.
Most of the time, I find that girls need to get their protest to be ‘on the record’. Once this is said they feel a little freer to give in to their desires and go with their attraction. I see most often that girls do not want you to stop your pursuit based on this ‘technical rejection’. Now things can go along as you both want. This is why are found laughing it off to be the easiest acceptance of it. You accept the fact she wants her minor protest to be heard but nothing more since it wasn’t an outright ‘No’..
You don’t need to have a smooth transition into some of these things. It may take some practice but often being very comfortable in a major change in tempo of the conversation you’re having can be quite charming to a girl. This can show you have major balls, which is nice.If you have the comfort to adjust the tempo of a conversation from casual then easily slipping in a sexual innuendo shows you are very confident and comfortable with your sexuality. This is very attractive.
21st century has been seen to stifle many people’s free expression of the sexuality inside of them. You don’t have to be a part of that. Being very bold when you first approached her and then bolt throw your interaction shows you are not ‘just another average guy’. Keeping the tension up, and keeping her slightly intimidated is a sweet spot for you both. When you can introduce these dramatic tempo changes to the conversation it goes to reveal that you are person who you never know what to expect from him.
After laying out somewhat of a foundation of that, let me cover a part of the ‘rejection’ topic. There really is no such thing until the woman says “No” or something of that specific nature. This is another reason why I personally prefer open-ended questions and sometimes indicating my desired intents with a statement rather than a question. When you start getting into racy topics (and other topics actually) you will see that any lack of explicit rejection is actually acceptance.
In the case of yes/no questions think of it this way, if you were to say something like: “Do you want to…” and she feels she needs to say “no” to maintain her image as proper and that is what she’ll do. This being said, if you were to say something like: “Let’s go do this…” and she has no reply than she is for the suggestion. If she is specifically and directly not for the suggestion she will go ahead and say something along the lines of indicating that she doesn’t want to or she can’t or it’s not possible for some reason.
Remember that in many cases any lack of negation to your suggestion is a girl’s way of accepting it. To make a suggestion without it being a yes/no question, you can say something like “We should go to my house to smoke hookah and get my cat to chase the laser pointer.” Or something like “We should go back to my place and watch my cat do back flips while you give me a massage.” If she says nothing then your suggestion has generally been accepted. You don’t have to consider her ‘not into it’ unless she says something like “No, that’s not a good idea” or another thing along those lines. The only other time I can think of she may indicate she is not into it if she is not his while you’re on the way were about to leave to then she may indicate it then. Otherwise she is all for it. As a standard, girls don’t normally say something like “Yeah let’s go do that.” They will go along with what they think may be fun until they don’t.
While you are having a great time enjoying each other’s company, you should just presume, as you would with any other friend that she is coming home with you. Don’t go in at all of these unspoken and unfounded expectations of negation where they’re not necessary. Do not make an issue of a non-issue.
Making these random comments with sexual undertones is a part of what I explained as foreplay and my detailed passages about sexy-time. Foreplay should not begin when you decide to get sexually intimate, as an ‘all of a sudden’ event. You should consistently be flirting and sprinkling in seductive comments throughout your conversation with a girl you have a sexual interest in. A girl’s imagination is a beautiful thing.
When our thoughts are brought to sexy places it can start her arousal and maintain it at mild levels way before any touching happens. Doing this consistently and steadily along with a slow teasing physical foreplay can bring the woman to unknown heights in their orgasm.
Girls do want a bold confident man. While many guys try to sneak their way in to an interaction with a girl with crafty, clever lines… if you just go in with your boldness this will make quite an impression in itself.
You can begin your flirting and sensuality and spoken foreplay from the very minute you say hi to a new girl. It is subtle yet this is revealing all your cards on the table in a way. Girls have been hit on since they hit puberty. There is no way for any guy to approach her with intensity in his mind and are not able to see through it. It is much easier if you just cut all of the bullshit. When I approach a girl it is no secret that she caught my attention. I am now talking with her to see what she is like, to see if she can hold my attention, to see if I want more of my time to be spent with this girl. When a guy comes up to a girl unafraid of any ‘risk of rejection’ or what have you, then all of a sudden she sees a shinier apple presented to her.
I have found it to be perfectly fine and very well accepted to have my intentions obvious. It seems like some guys are trying to sneak their way into a girl’s attention and coerce her to the bedroom without her realizing what’s going on. This does not happen, this is not seduction. Recently while at a mall with a friend of mine we decided to go into Spencer gifts. As you’re walking and my friend was telling me that the store now had quite an extensive sex toy selection.
While walking in I saw it was a cute girl was working the register that day so my first sentence to her was: “My friend tells me that this is a sex toy shop nowadays. Is that true?” With this little piece of information I was able to start our conversation on a somewhat sexual level. When she tells me the story is as I suspected I ask her to show me her collection. As we get over to the section of the store I tell her that I was curious about vibrators. I then asked her to tell me which is the best or which is the most popular. She goes on to show me the first model that she thought of. I will not ask her questions of the reasons it was supposedly better than the rest. While she was explaining its features I simply gazed upon her. I looked into her eyes, enjoyed gazing upon her face and neck and listening to the sexual topic she was describing and the sensual way she was describing it.
As she was explaining the features of this first vibrator I went on to ask her:”Does the nice sounding features of this vibrator cause a woman to lose the novelty, enjoyment of the real thing, of a real penis?” With utter sincerity, she went on to tell me with a very sophisticated sounding know-how that this absolutely was not true. “From my perspective, and understanding both, although this is very nice there is nothing like a real penis. There is nothing like skin on skin.” She was getting very sexy and describing this and seemed to want to prolong the conversation so she went and picked up a second model and describe its features. I merely listened and enjoyed the sensuality I was watching come into her as she described the sexual nature of these devices.
A girl enjoys a bold and confident man who has no qualms about touching upon the subjects because then again, by doing this you show her that the subjects are absolutely acceptable in conversations between the two of you. She will know now that she can freely express how she feels about such topics. Forget any ‘risk’ of possible rejection you are thinking. I think you should embrace and dance with these risky topics to get yourself comfortable with them and indicate to her that you are comfortable with her talking of them. Women love sex more than we men do. Once she feels she has established herself past the anti-slut protocol, and these topics have a perfect comfort ability as when shared with you, she will feel like she can enjoy you and her own sexual experience without being (looked down upon.)
I hear and see many guys who think that the minor rejections are something they earned. In essence that is really not the case. You see, women have these built-in automatic rejections to hand out to the general male crowd. Girls want to ensure they have high standards for which man they get with. If they can toss out a simple easy rejection to their approach and he drops the issue, then that was easy. She now filtered through and eliminated a weak sort of man. Girls have the negation to incoming males built-in is an automatic. They have been pursued and approached by men since puberty. Guys have whistled at them from driving by, guys have ‘Cat-Called’ them from the construction site and guys have ogled them on the beach since they grew boobies.
Get over the pride. Hearing these minor statements of rejection is really nothing. If you are subtly and not so subtly indicating your intent, you will see a few things. She will begin thinking about and imagining what sexy-time with you is like. She will see you are bold and candid and comfortable enough to be taking things all the way. And finally, somewhat based on her reaction, you’ll be able to see how much attraction has been built so you can gauge and decide your current actions with this girl and/or future actions with future prospects.
I told you that women are very much on the moment to moment basis and testing you. Personally I think of up several times I’ve stated a firm opinion on one side of the subject. The girl I was speaking with that expressed the opposite side of the same subject. I quickly acknowledged (not discrediting her point) but then went on to further illustrate the reasons why I feel the way I do. I’ve seen more than one case where a girls next comments will be those on the side of the issue that I originally expressed. seems they just throw these things out there to see the resiliance of a potential male in their world.
Life is funny, enjoy it. It is all a joke until it’s taken seriously and only take the part seriously which you wish to be a part of your world. What points a girl makes that you do take seriously is another reward in conversation that will inspire them to grow. Reward the ones that you like to have as a part of your world.
Since the best punishment from childhood on is merely ignoring, ignore all of those that you disagree with. You are merely paying attention to the ones you like therefore showing there a reason to elaborate those points. If she is getting no attention or acknowledgment about the points you don’t like she is very much less likely to elaborate on those. On the ping-pong table she got no pong to her ping.
…Anyways, it all started on my way back into Boston Common from DWTN Crossing, it was sunny, a nice day just to randomly greet people. I said ‘Hi’ to random interesting people I passed, started little 3 min convos, smiled and wave-acknowledged a bunch. I could feed the birds if….
At the moment she came into scene, I was on one side the crosswalk headed back to the commons courtyard. As I stand there, I scan everybody as I always do and I see her. She is an absolute ‘true10′ but without the ‘I hate the world’ look on her face. Out of the 15-20 people on that side of the street, she stuck out to me like a flamingo in a pack of seagulls, but she wasn’t covered in make-up. She wasn’t decked in ‘look-at-me’ clothes, just a [private]pair of jeans and a button down shirt.
That’s what caught my eye the most. She had an ‘agenda-free’ look, no expressions, no mask held up. She was a good 20 years old but had the un-city like innocence on her face. She had model beauty, but naturally.
I have my sunglasses on so I continue to look like I’m scanning as I watch her (my head slowly gazing back and forth, while my eyes were on her). If I wasn’t wearing my sunglasses, I would have checked her out in my peripheral sight while not showing that I noticed her till she was close enough to open.
You know how girls flirt subconsciously with their body language? They fix their hair, their shoes, or position their pose in an attractive way. Speaking in girl speak, I know some off handed body language motions that get them looking.
Girls do get shielded when they know guys are looking at them. When the walk light goes on I casually walk across the crosswalk but I am moving towards where I would be passing next to her.
As we pass each other, to play out as if seeming like I just noticed her, I simply smile and say ‘Hello’ and tilt my head back, greeting-ly. (tonality is key here, and have found the ‘Hello’ gets a lot more responses than the ‘Hi’ because you can draw out the elongated vowels, saying it in a slow sexy tone.)
She says “Hi’ back to me on her way past. I did a swoop around (which I hardly ever do, but she did catch my attention very well). I walk her direction and stop her just on the sidewalk where I started. We are in front of Finagle a Bagel, next to the crosswalk.
“Well, You ARE ugly…” (I said this while smirking, she definitely knows I’m joking) “…but something is drawing me to want to see what you’re like, find out more about you…HI, I’m C.j.” and I stick out my hand.
Now when I stick out my hand to shake a girl’s hand, this isn’t a business meeting. I am not trying to show her I have a firm handshake, I don’t need any alpha over tilt.
I offer her my hand, solid connection then my palm up holding hers in it. I can give her the most welcoming hand shake so she can feel most comfortable right now. She needs to have a first impression before she’ll feel safe following my lead. Or being in the tension I will be creating.
I don’t not pull my hand back after the standard amount of greeting time; it’s easy to leave it there for as long as she wants to leave hers in it. She doesn’t feel like I’m gripping, just matching her pressure. Often we pull our hand back like we do in a regular nice-to-meet you handshake. This hold open is saying to her in Body language: ‘you have caught my attention, I am still curious’ I leave my eyes mostly in hers while her hand is in mine.
We chat, most of my eye contact on her eyes with quick scans every so often, to think of things and not to seem like a staring psycho. Her hand is still in mine. I am not gripping it, I am just open handed lightly solid.
She tells me she is from Russia; I practice my single Russian phrase with her. “Kahk DeeLah” (written phonetically). We chat a little and I notice her friend is standing a few feet behind her. I can tell from this, that she would get pulled by her friend or pull herself from this to not keep her friend waiting.
I tell her of an outdoor salsa class I am headed to later; I give her the time constraint of: “Well, I was going this way…” (She just starts to slowly pull her hand out of mine), “….and I have to feed the birds…” (she didn’t notice how ‘non-pressing’ that is, time-wise.) “…but let me see your cell phone, we can talk later.”
She pulls her phone out as if she was going to punch the number in herself, but I pretended not to notice, and was holding out my hand expectantly. She finally hands me the phone.
The picture on the phone’s screen was probably why she didn’t want to hand me the phone in the first place, but I’ll get into that in a bit.
I punched in my number, called my phone, and then described to my voice mail everything I just learned about this girl in the few minutes we talked. I hang up & tell her that I will call her a little later and walk on my way.
About 30 min later, I text her saying that “I should be finished at 5:00 and will call you then.” Yes, I did text her30 min after meeting her: I planned on keeping this temperature going.
I got her flirty temperature up while we talked. I knew if I was going to manage this I’d need to keep it up. I text in 30 minutes, call an hour later about a same day event.
I know that when you text things like that, they wait and are thinking about you the whole time until you call. She also is ready to talk to you when you call, she will be a little bit more…um how could I say this?… ‘State-prepared.’
I end up getting caught up in other things when I realize it is 5:45, so I call.
I get her voicemail message. Then a recording tells me her voice mailbox is full. Ok, I carry on.
I saved my name into her phone, so if she has caller ID she’ll know that I called. If she calls back – great…. if she flakes – oh well. She caught my attention for a few minutes.
Then at 5 minutes to six I get a text from her:
She says: “Its almost 6!! ”
So I see she got my text. I am guessing she saw my call on ID, but who knows. Now she is telling me by subtext, “ok C.J., call me now, I will answer.”
I call her. I tell her about the salsa in the park and ask where she is at his very moment. She tells me she’s in the Common
“Great, I’m over by the ‘Park St’ staircase, meet me here and we’ll go over to salsa together.”
This is all part of the ‘Assume the Close’ I just told her about the event, expected she would be dying to go, and told her what to do next to come along. (To be continued)
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I was explaining this to a buddy of mine on a different situation. If she doesn’t want to go, she’ll stop things & indicate it clearly or say it clearly. There is no need to ask her anything. Just lead. If she follows – great, if not – lead to something else.
Hear what she says in words when it comes to her denials. I don’t try to read signals, and tones, and subtext unless they are compliances, unless they are the message I want to hear. Interpretations of subtext are so broad/vague. Guys are not built to read between the lines.
The only: ‘Supposed to’ to define in this interaction are the words. Meanings beyond what is said, while girls get that naturally, if you have learned this, Great. Since the interpretation is open, read the ones you want to hear. (& her seeing which ones you read is a reward to her. She will keep giving back the ones picked up on, the positive ones.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(resume)
So, I Tell her of the good time at the salsa. Then I tell her what her next step is, & that it’s easy on her part. We can go from there….
I sit on the planter next to the stair case and am going through my date book paperwork. I think she is coming with her friend. We can all go the Salsa, I can work them like a two set, and some other dance partner will keep her friend occupied.
When she comes over, She gets my attention & is by herself now. (This is a signal her interest; did she ditch her friend to hang out with me alone?)
I stand up, give her a hug, lean back while holding her arms and check her out (I look from eyes all the way to shoes, then back to eyes. My smile brightens in the scan to be brightest back into her eyes as I start a new thread)
I tell her a bunch of details about the salsa as I put my hand on her lower back to guide her to the direction of the staircase.
And I keep talking, no questions to her are needed here, I just ramble along about my day. Girls are usually nervous at the start of dates and such. They want you to be talking & keeping the spotlight off them till they warm up a bit…..this always works for me.
Don‘t worry about it, after they get talking, they love to ramble on. Then you can ask her open ended questions to keep her rambling. At this point, she’ll interrupt if she has something to tell me.
We walk downstairs to Park St. cut across underground tunnel to Downtown to grab the orange line. I body language vibe her the whole way.
I take her hand into mine (as if I am testing it, in my head) then I toss it down like it was covered in cooties. I do that as I’m talking about something else. I pay no mind to it, but it does get filed in her mind, you’ll see the expression on their faces as you get better at vibing.
As we walk, sometimes I will take her by the shoulders and move her to my right side as we walk. That is the side I prefer her on, and this keeps touching, leadership, and her compliance momentum.
I lead her to the right direction at points with my hand on her lower back. Trust me, when you do this they get the feeling of being protected. Its great touching and comfort all wrapped in one move.
As I passed other cute girls walking by, I smiled at them and said ‘hi’ to some. This reminds this Russian girl I am social to chicks. She sees girls along the way smiling at me and saying hi. These unknown girls will return ‘hi’s and smiles much better because I am walking with a girl and totally non threatening.
They don’t think they have to be defensive to my greetings. I couldn’t be hitting on them since I am with a beautiful girl. And if I was, that’s good too because I must be a prize (pre-selected) walking with her….
I know a bunch of people are thinking that these moves make a girl jealous and will screw up chances with her. Not only does it do the opposite, but has this girl earned any of my affections yet?
While waiting for the orange line, I was leaning one arm on the post and she leaned on the same post facing me, leaning her shoulder. She let her face be near mine while we were talking. She just pulled her hair out of her face, turning her head towards me but close, letting her hair fall on her face again.
I just pushed her hair back off her face, letting my fingertips slightly brush her cheek. She doesn’t break her gaze from mine or move back from my touch at all, so now I know. I let my hand find its way from her cheek and hair to the back of her neck and pulled her to me to kiss.
So I started kissing her there. One five minute open, a text, a re-meetup with a hug… a bit of touching, affection push/pull then ten minutes later a kiss. Things happen that fast when you’re plowing on in the vibe, reading and sending the signals. 93% of communication received comes with Tone, Vibe, and Body Language. It seems like a born-with skill, but this like any clever opener, can be learned and mastered.
It was all about reading her cues and vibing that got her here. If I didn’t kiss her at that moment, she could/would have blocked it later. She was in a moment I could seize.
Now we were getting on the packed train, I know she is coming along to my event. There is no need to keep her entertained, so I sit in one empty seat, she stands by the doors. We just kissed, so I’ll give her a chance to let that sink in. It is very key to give girls little breaks, little takeaways that give her the space to come to you. The break from your attentions let her have something to miss.
We get off the train & walked trying to find the salsa park.
We held hands some, like girl & guy buddies, and then I stopped and got interested in something we were passing. I came back to her to decide to kiss her after looking at her a moment. (I takeaway, then back in with a little escalate in level but then I take away again. This is great at building great tension.)
We traded stories about our life. She told me she was a model. I picked up her hands and asked her
“What, a hand model?” So then I talked about Jergen’s and nail polish ads, while she tried to correct me
“No real model!!” she said
I defended them. “That nail polish models work hard you know. They are just as hardworking as the…”
This just got her laughing and still wanting to correct me.
So we went to the park-salsa, danced a little bit, made out along the way. I would stop her along the walk for a kiss, then she would come at me when I stopped the make out early, pushing her away a little. Sometimes when it would escalate in intensity, I would push her back from then too. We’re out in the world; all I want to do out here is build up tension.
“Not here….” I said. We were on the sidewalk or leaning on a store side. “We have a dance class to get to.”
We went to the salsa for a bit, danced some. She wasn’t really into it. She sat on the bench for a while watching while I danced with the other girls. I kept an eye on her to watch if she was getting bored.
Then we bounced to Copley to walk around. We both were push/pulling the whole walk. I would wander too far ahead then she would call me back. Then she would catch up and keep walking right past me until I caught up with her.
I called her on my cell phone. She answered. I told her to stop. She did. I told her to turn around as I was walking towards her. She did that too.
But when I got to her I looked her in the eyes, held eye contact as I kept walking. I gave her a “hmmpht!’ sound for acknowledgment, joking disregard. This was all very playful, like little kids teasing to be the lead.
She followed me, asked where I was headed next. I turned around, took her hands and started talking about Copley spots like they were fun-park rides… or at least in that excitement I explained with.
We wandered around, between random make-outs, and sat on some park benches talking. At one point she pulled out her compact mirror and was checking her hair or whatever….but for way too long and rude while we’re talking.
I am not down with the vanity thing, she can hit the restroom. I also needed to pull her out of her own head. She was dreaming if she thought she could hold may attention with her looks alone.
I just stood up and walked over to another park bench as I went through my Blackberry checking my email.
She continued to be checking herself in the mirror, yet glancing at me every so often. My takeaway didn’t fully work.
Even after a few minutes went by, she looked absorbed, but girls are always on scan-mode, monitoring things in their peripheral even when they don’t look like it.
I got up from my bench and walked the other direction and behind a structure that you couldn’t see through.
My walking path led me to be right behind her bench. I went there but she wouldn’t see where I was because the structure blocked her view.
I also wanted to finish my email but still keep an eye on her; once she was done in her mirror we could have fun again.
Then I get a text: “Why are you always leaving me?” It was from her.
I just walked up from behind her bench, sat next to her and said: “Relax kid, I’m right here, I was just taking care of my email tasks so I wouldn’t have to worry about them later.”
I told her of where I was going next, which was in Brighton, closer to where I live.
“There in a pizza joint & a few cool clubs.” You always have to frame these ideas as things that are already going on, and she can come along. That keeps the pressure off us both.
Now I don’t get too firm in plans. If I want to hang out with her, if she definitely doesn’t want to go along on the event I chose, I just modify my lead, pick a new place for now.
She said no at first, I told her that we could go there later, and started walking to my train. She followed but it was the train that was going where we said anyway.
This next part is weird, I hardly understand it, but it is how it happened: We went to the Arlington st. Greenline station, and would be taking a ‘B’ line to get where I intended. We talked and chatted and joked and laughed as all the other letter trains came by.
I greeted a few girls there and while walking through the station, nothing direct just easy going ‘hello’s. I was bouncing my attention back and forth from my girl and away to someone/something else. Then a ‘B’ train came.
I stood up, and held my hand behind me for her to take it. She didn’t take it, first time all day of me offering it. She said something about not wanting to to go, but she was up standing and a few steps to the train. “Alright, It was fun meeting you…” as if I was leaving.
She stood there with with a look of the blues in her eye, so I pulled her back to the bench as I sat next to her, looking at her uncertainty and I started laughing. The ‘B’ train took off.
“I am going to the Hookah-bar, and then maybe grab a bite to eat in Brighton. It would be great if you came along, but I have better things to do than hang out in a train station. Why don’t you go home for now, it’s been a long day. You’d have a
great time at these places I am going too; I just have to take the next ‘B’ train that comes through. ”
She had no response so I just went on telling stories and chatting about other things. I explained what the next few steps of mine would be. She stayed engaged in the conversation, and I left some open loops to keep her in curiosity, keep her wanting more.
So I did. I got on the next ‘B’ and she came along. We went to Allston, touched base with a lot of my friends in these places. Then around 10 or so, we talked of going to the playground for a little while.
So far at
this point I have about 4 hours of flirting that led this whole thing to be where it is:
We were
at the bus stop, to go to the playground I intended. She was sitting on the bench, her elbows on her knees, her head on her hands facing down. I was standing up waiting for the bus and she looks up at me and says:
“I am Tired….. I want to go home, or I want you.”
I stopped, I thought about what she just said.
Of course I
was taken aback to what I just heard, but I showed nothing. I looked at her again and said as I would say to anything she would have said that I didn’t hear. “I’m sorry, what was that you said?”
“I am tired. I want to go Home, or I want you.” she repeated verbatim.
I thought for a minute. We had been kissing, I was building up her tension all day by stopping early and the ‘almost kisses’ that drive ‘em crazy. Where I have my face close, my lips close, but I smell her skin, the air rushing over as I inhale.
“Ok… let me check one thing.” I said. I sat down next to her and kissed her like I meant it, a real passionate kiss. I stood up and said “Okay.” and stuck my hand out for a cab.
….you can easily change her mood, not her mind. Stay non-reactive no matter if you are getting results that differ from what you wanted. Being non-reactive is very attractive. Make sure you are having fun.
If you aren’t having fun, she wont have fun. Girls like to follow the lead and a fun lead is better than anything else.
I say: “Actually I was just [private] being social. But honey, accusing a stud like myself of hitting on you is not a good way to get me to like you more. Try being yourself,I like that. But don’t expect to get in my pants, I am more than piece of meat for you to enjoy ” [/private]
It works best to generate attraction till you see an even keel of mutual attraction is going on. Stay away from the ‘What do you do?’, ‘Where are you from?’ even the ‘What is your name?’ type of interview questions until a healthy dose of attraction is built up.
Don’t start until you see her showing ways that she is interested in you first. Keep everything a playful vibe; these are all practice people until you see something more. Once you see her signals that she is interested, and then it is okay to be showing her that your interest is of the same level. Regardless of what you feel inside, you should be showing her and equal amount of interest to reward her signals, but nothing more yet.
If she feels like she has won your heart before you guys had a chance to get to know each other, she will think: ‘Game Over’ and move on to the next guy.
As soon as I see her touching me, laughing at my jokes (even the stupid ones) and she is staying around for like 20 minutes or so, then I know there is a sweet spot going on. It’s not till then I start asking her some screening questions: “So what do you do for fun?”
Every time she tells me things about herself that I like, that I am attracted to, I compliment her on those points. This shows her which topics and behaviors get the most reward. She will be increasing these which will ensure a better time for us both.
At this point of learning more about her, I will say: “When I first met you, I wasn’t so sure about you…but now that I get to know you you are pretty interesting. This is usually the point when I begin to increase my playful touching to further reward the amount I like her.
This may start with tapping and poking to high-fives, pushing, butt-bumping and thumb wrestling. After the playful stuff, I may move on to hugging, holding hands like I am mocking a couple, cheek kissing, and picking her up jokingly.[/private]
You are still that incredibly fun, interesting guy that she met. You have so many women that she has no idea if you are going to ask her out at all. You are totally un-needy. She wants you to tell her when and where to meet you. You don’t ask; you direct, since you are a leader.
Mainly, you want to reinforce in her mind…[private]
… that you are still that super fun guy she met, continue building lots of comfort (while keeping
the attraction fires burning), and last, but not least, get her to meet up with you.
The secret to good phone game is to be completely and totally un-needy. In any attractive woman’s life, there have been a million guys who she has her number to and lived to regret it; primarily because they made it a point to constantly ask her out at the slightest opportunity, whenever they had her on the phone. You are not going to be that guy. You are going to be that ultra-cool guy she wants to go out with but doesn’t give her any certainty that you will ever ask her out at all.
When you mention fun things you have in your upcoming plans, as soon as you hear her interest in them, it is so easy to suggest “Totally. I think we have room. You should definitely come along.”
“Our house almost got broken into when I was eight…but my if dad installed some swinging paint cans and some micro machines by the stairs that shit woulda never happened.”
You can either completely makeover your personality in order to impress her, or you can turn the tables and make her [private]do the work. When you put yourself in control of the situation, you are the one who has the power to reject her, because she believes you can have any girl you desire. If you use this method to psych yourself up, you can calm your nerves and loosen up a bit, which will make women actually fight to get your attention.[/private]
If you want a first date with a woman, and you pass up random moments to express affection or a skip to receive affection she will see right through you. Keep your detail monitor on her, please. Never let yourself automatically withdraw from her ‘accidental’ touch so to speak. It is time to promote it, to welcome it, to flourish it.
This is another excellent way to share information in a way that is fun and creates a playful back and forth vibe between the two of you. “I’m fascinated by…” or “I like…”
Remember, start small. Don’t go for the immediate [private] deep topics. Get her talking with you first and get into deep topics later.
Ex. “You know what I really like about NYC? The best pizza in the world. You know what I mean? (if she does, then:) What do you like
about NYC?”
Then once you’re warmed up… “I like girls who have a kinky side…” It is all about the “VIBE” that goes back and forth between you and the woman.
Instead of tirelessly trying to create a deep sense of rapport… simply focus on the back and forth vibe that is occurring between the two of you. Your interaction should be the center of attention….NOT the TOPIC being discussed. I repeat: Your interaction with the woman should be the center of attention… not the topic being discussed.
Ok, from last Wednesday…I decided to log out this clip. I went into the Logan cafe…as I love it there…I figured a quick sandwich and a soda….Some beautiful bunny was leaning on the brochure counter looking as if she is waiting for someone…She was pretty model stat…Good-‘propa-lady’ like dressed on top of a Bally’s body…She held herself well, and when our eye contact was made…She humbly dropped [private] her gaze to the ground…for a couple a seconds…When she looks back up to see if I am still looking…which I was…I scoped her setup head to toes…On her look up she dropped her gaze again then a good 30 seconds before she looked to the side and the brochures…I figured I would say hi….
C.J.: “Hi, I do have a question for you.”
Beautiful Bunny at the Logan cafe: “Sure, what’s that?”
(I pause… pause. I paused for fun…)
C.J.: “Are you single?” (In my emotionless stone cold straight face)
Beautiful Bunnie: “Well, um…”
C.J.: “I’ll take that as a yes…” (I nodded in the grin that I felt creeping on…)
Beautiful Bunnie: (Laughter)
C.J.: “Well, I just happen to know someone that I
think might like you… if you’re more than
just a pretty face, that is… He’s fun and has
great taste, and I think you’d like him… I’d
love to sit down and get your life story, but I’m
on my way somewhere… do you have email?” I asked…
Beautiful Bunnie: “Yes.”
C.J.: Great… (I take out my favorite astronaut pen)… write it down for
me, and I’ll send you an email when I’m in ‘online time’.
I then folded her slip of paper slid it into the breast pocket of my jacket and wished her a good day…[/private]
Since girls have hit puberty, guys have been chasing them in one way or another. Guys grow up thinking they have to buy a woman gifts, take her out to dinner, and earn her approval. Girls on the other hand have had it easy their whole life, so once they meet an interesting guy who is actually a challenge for them to have his attentions, their desire and attraction quickly escalates.
With something as simple as sexual tension, [private] you are taking the role of the pursued party in the interaction. To get this started, you show her sparks of interest and attraction, but never completely. You still do not know if she is cool enough to add to your social circle even, not to mention getting intimate with her. While she never really knows if you are really into her or not, since she is getting mixed messages from you & this keeps her in chasing mode to find out for sure. When she feels a slight interest from you, she wants it to be certain. I see guys who express a ‘clear interest’ in a girl once they first meet her. This will lose her attention quickly and she will walk around to find a more challenging guy.
Consistently giving her these mixed signals causes tension to build to the point where she can only see a release of it would be to get intimate/physical with you. Then she will have the definite answer she has been looking for. Then she will have her uncertainty answered. The conflicting feelings in her that have built this tension are the indication to her that you might be interested, you might be attracted to her but she’s not so sure.
When you first meet a woman you can have great results in trading and building this tension while you playfully watch her chase you in a variety of ways. You see, body language is a powerful force in all of this. You can give her some undivided attention with your eye contact and keeping your gestures to be welcoming to her…and then SUDDENLY you let your attention be grabbed by something else. In the middle of a high point you have generated in her (You got her laughing, or talking about passionate subjects, or she is touching you more frequently), you can cut her off mid sentence and go check on your friends or open another girl who is nearby.
While the girl is talking you can triangulate your gaze (look from eye to eye to mouth to eye to eye…) on her which will indicate a kissing-though in your mind but then quickly find something else to do. Girls pick up on these things so once you have the seed planted, you can bounce your attention to a different subject. Once she has noticed it will be in her thoughts underlying everything else for a while. This in itself indicated your interest for her, but it is not guaranteed.
For most of the time you can give her your shining friendly personality. Reward some of her jokes with your laughs, reward some of her flirts with flirts back but then take them away. You can tease her like a little sister but just enough playful so she want more of this fun razzing you are giving her.
It can be very in-your-favor to be doing things that are opposite of common courtesy.
Much of what I teach is that of ‘capturing the frame’ or showing that you do understand where girls are coming from. To have indications of knowing these will set you apart from most guys right away. You can make it like you are going through the same things she goes through with an average guy, but you are going through those same things with her.
Let me give you an example. “Now just because you bought me a drink doesn’t mean I am sleeping with you tonight.” You see that is a thought that goes through many girls minds every time a guy buys them a drink. Girls are very social creatures and very polite by nature. With human nature often thinking of reciprocity, she thinks that.
Sometimes on a first date with a girl I may say: “Ok but I insist on paying my half, if picked up the whole tab I’d think I’d owe you (as I give her the playful sexual smirk) something else later…” This also takes the wonder of who pays for the first date dynamic. I don’t go through great lengths paying for dates until I know that I want her to be a regular part of my life. Before that, we are just meeting up, feeling each other out and I am seeing if she qualifies to spend any more time with me after this.
Half of capturing this type of frame shows that you do know how girls think but also by playing the part of the one going through these things as if she is chasing you.
Post: #1
“No Kelly, I will NOT have sex with you…”
In high school, I felt that I was, in a way, an outcast, not your standard popular kid in high school. The way I was, was very unique. I actually was voted ‘most unique’ in both junior high and high school. Sure everyone knew of me, but I was always outside the box of normalcy.
Although I never was part of a clique, I would be friends with so many girls, ever since I was young. When I was in High School, I bet people thought I was gay since like the gay dudes, I had a ton of chick friends. Often this would have chicks talking of subjects that they may not discuss in front of other guys or guys they wanted. I never made such a big deal as I listened to their flirts and relationships, I just took notes in my head.
Here is what started how I learned most of the stuff I learned that kicked me into studying, writing & teaching social dynamics now for quite some time.
A huge revelation happened with one of my chick friends. This was, lets say: Kelly. She was a top notch popular girl. She might have liked my punky ways, but we were just friends, she was just one of my chick-friends.
The way people pass notes to kill time in a boring class, I was passing notes with this Kelly. We would usually just write senseless things and try to make each other laugh just to make the the class time go by.
One of the notes I wrote her, all I wrote was: “Kelly, No, no, no, no, no, no, no,….” about ten times. That’s it. That’s all I wrote & I passed it to her.
When I got it back & unfolded it. What she had written back was: “C.J., yes, yes, yes., yes, yes, yes,” about TWENTY times.
Just joking, or so I thought at the time, to make her laugh I wrote “No Kelly, I will NOT have sex with you.”
She took the note, unfolded it and started cracking up laughing, just what I wanted. Then just to play along she looked at me with a turned out, pouty bottom lip.
Kelly was a top notch hott, popular chick with tons of friends and all the guys wanting her. Any and every guy in school would trade a limb just to get 5 minutes in bed with Kelly and she knew it. No guy that knew who she was would think it would be a sane decision to tell her that he would NOT have sex with her, even if he was joking (just in case…ya never know).
At the time, I would have said I’d do anything to screw Kelly, except it was an idea so far out of my realm of believable possibilities, I never even thought of it.
Quote:
At the time I was always trying to screw a chick I hung out with all the time that kind of kept me in the friend zone, but would have sex with me every once in while since I was persistent and always playful about it. I never took things seriously. I never let her rejection get to me, I just laughed it off and tried another time. Staying playful/joking in my pursuits kept is always in an easygoing playful manner.
Like my other chick friends, Kelly & I called each other every so often…what I didn’t really notice at the time is that Kelly started calling me to say hi a bit more often. She turned her flirting up a noticeable notch. Now instead of just chick-friend, or friend-zone type of stuff, she started getting jokingly sexual and a bit demure on me.
At that time, I was still mostly clueless. I didn’t realize what was going on until a time after when I thought through the time-line of everything and put the pieces together.
We stayed friends, talking every once in a great while. I moved out of my parents house and rented a house a few towns away, about 30 minutes. And then came that time she called and wanted to come over for a random nothing reason.
I was clueless, told her to come over, then resumed the stupid silly talk we always do. I still didn’t think a thing…until she was laying back on my couch with squinty bedroom eyes, saying in that coy-playful voice: “C.J., come over here…” Still I was sort of clueless…until I got over to her.
She put both her arms around my neck and pulled me to her. I saw what was happening and just went with it. We fucked that day, in the middle of the afternoon, 2:30 or something. Then at some point after wards while we were lying in afterglow or something, she says to me: “Hey C.J. (with a little giggle) I thought you would not have sex with me.”
Of course, I didn’t say anything to that in the moment but I remembered that note I wrote to her trying to make her laugh. To be honest, I kept it as a trophy for a while after We first wrote it. Although it was joking, I would show my friends: “Look at this note me and Kelly wrote, she wants to bang me so bad…” I just wished that was true when I said it, not knowing a thing.
Wow. I was blown away. At first I thought I was way over-analyzing the situation. I didn’t know exactly but back then I was convinced that she came over to be seductive on me was that I wrote her a letter a time back. I thought the only reason she came over to get me to fuck her was because I told her in a note that I wouldn’t have sex with her. I couldn’t believe she remembered that note. I did.
This sent me into a serious trial and journal phase. I would figure out how to elaborate this concept so I could use it at my beck & call. I would modify it for whatever situation I was in, but the core of it was that I would be indicating to girls that I would not have sex with them.
I would indicate that I didn’t want to date them. I would let them know that they could not have my number.
The core of this whole concept was that I made it clear that I did not want a particular girl, in a joking way and she would start pursuing my attentions. I would do different things to try this out and I would journal my results.
Quote:
By the way, this is one of the biggest suggestions I could make to an aspiring PUA. Start yourself a journal and write down every interaction you possibly can. Have your accounts saturated with details. Every cause and effect should be noted. Write out the different things you say, the different things you do and how she responds. Write out her mood, her receptivity to you, what pissed her off, what made her laugh. I couldn’t think of anything that has helped calibrate me to where I am today.
So as I was doing these things based on the first concept, ideas & concepts about it began to flourish and evolve. I started meeting girls and they were going through great lengths to be chasing me.
I met one girl in a supermarket in Rhode Island. She lived in providence but stared coming to Massachusetts every weekend that I would let her. I met a girl from Florida at a concert in Saugertise NY. We traded numbers, kept in contact until she came up to Massachusetts for a week to hang out with me. This is the same girl who asked me why I wouldn’t kiss her. She kept working to have her way until she got it.
Now it wasn’t about absolute blocking the girl. As I first said, it was all in joking. Then to keep the momentum, it became a game, like dangling the yarn in front of the cat. You dangle it, but pull it out of the cat’s reach before it grabs it. Maybe you let it get a small piece every once in a while.
With a girl, instead of the yarn it was feelings of validation and approval. I would give them small tastes of the good stuff, then take me out of their reach, just barely out of their reach. They always had to work at keeping me interested, which they did. They never felt like I was a sure thing with them.
*There actually are ways on this same core principle that keeps relationships fresh, never boring. It is much different in design, but same concept with different applications. If you kept up with the first part throughout a relationship, a girl would leave you to never have the feeling of security that a relationship provides. I will go into depth of the points that are modified for a relationship, but before that is meeting them and getting them into bed.
Switch that around. Imagine what it would be like if your hott dream girl was always trying to get you into bed. You’d be wicked happy with that on a regular basis, wouldn’t you?
Since guys hit puberty, we go around chasing girls, trying to convince them to be with us. We try to impress them so they’ll let us kiss them. We try to offer a good solid model of a man that looks like a good steady boyfriend, one that she will be with because he is stable. we go around thinking that buying them dinner and impressing them will win their heart.
Those are are very valid points and most of them are useful but since we have been chasing girls since we hit puberty, it is almost like a relief when they are chasing us. A man who is being chased by a girl, a man who feels wanted on a regular basis can focus his efforts and energies on bringing them both to fun places, adventures and experiences that they both will enjoy and never forget.
The same thing happens with a girl. Since she hits puberty, there are guys trying to win them over, all over the place. There are guys bending over backwards to get an indication of their approval. Guys have been going though great pains to be accepted, and hopefully liked by her.
She had to put very little, if any effort into always having a guy at her beck & call. Sure she keeps her looks in order, but she doesn’t have to invest in the interactions to feel like she has won the whole game.
Quote:
You know girls like sex. You also know that people want more of those things they cannot have. What they want most are those things they almost can have but not quite yet, just a hair out of reach.
A girl is actually happier when she is chasing a guy she likes since she never has had to do that her whole life.
Girls are humble creatures by nature. They won’t make a big deal getting things started with a guy, but once a guy gets things rolling and she is comfortable enough, she will chase with hopes higher than that of a dog at a cookout.
So both the guy and the girl are actually happier, from start to every step of the way along the process, when she is chasing him. Once I realized this from much trial and recording results that I went through, it dropped any feeling that this might not be the right dynamic to pursue.
As I have seen in PUA materials, I don’t like the thought of underhanded manipulation in any way. There actually was quite a famous pickup guru that along with his misogynist indications, he always seemed like he was skilled in tricking girls to sleep with them so he could drop them at the curb. I didn’t like that.
I grew up with a single mother and have enormous respect for women. Many women and girls have been a huge part of my life, my whole life. But this whole dynamic of girls in pursuit of a guy was actually what women enjoyed most, so I pursued learning more.
That was over 10 years ago, the learning never stopped and keeps growing as I share with people to this day.
Sept Day GSF
You can treat it as a joke or that you know she must be joking to be worrying about such trivial matters. To achieve the joke, the idea is to build suspense, then mix the serious with the ridiculous.
For example, on a first date she asks: “How long has been since you been on a date?”[private]
Hearing this, I pause & look very serious. “Well, does my mom count? …because she escorted me to the Halloween ball in the third grade.” [/private]
While I am talking to a new girl and things have found their way to something boring I may ask: “Now that we are talking, I have a question for you. Do you think [private]magic spells work? I never believe in that hocus pocus but just recently I had an amazing thing happen. Hey let me show you something. Give me your hand. Stand up for a second.”
As I lead her up, she stands up. Then I maneuvered my place to be behind her to sit where she was just sitting. “I just stole your seat.”
I am laughing at this point “Nah, I’m just kidding, stay close. I want to try an experiment, I have to go in a second and then you can have your chair back
Talk to her for a few minutes then walk away and do something else (this is key when [private] you see she is at a high point because of your interaction.
This keeps her wanting more. You can make her want what you have, what you are. Give her a little and then tease her a bit.
Do not make anything easy to get. Stay mysterious.
There is no need to answer questions about work so early. Be vague, especially if you have a really good answer. The most confident people never need to brag. Never give a woman a direct answer.
Play with her a little bit. Answer questions with questions. Get her to commit to something. If she complains or doesn’t like something, turn it up and give it back the way you would to our little sister.
Never give a woman exactly what she asks for. Always send mixed signals. Tell her “let’s be friends” at random times to show her she is in danger of getting stuck in your ‘friend-zone’ and nothing else.
Be unpredictable. Keep mixing it up and changing the patterns. Be distinctive, not boring. As far as showing your interest, take two steps forward then one step back. That would be two steps that indicate your interest to her, with a separate single one to indicate you’re not interested.
Keep up the tension. Like playing poker, always raise & call her bluff. You can lead and move forward very confidently. There is no need to apologize, act apologetic or insecure. Don not try to get any approval or look like you are trying to impress people, especially girls. Softies are for the dryer[/private]
Blina Ventos
day game is all I need Cj inbox me =]
Unlike · · Unfollow Post · March 5 at 3:26am via mobile
You like this.
Cj Clark Piona Post ur questions here & I will reply here
March 16 at 9:10pm · Unlike · 1
Blina Ventos well I’m successful as I learnt a lot from different pua’s the thing is I want to be the first Master Pick-Up Artist in Kenya, A Dating coach..I’m gonna post my video soon on you tube I’ll let you know.thanks coach =]
49 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 1
Blina Ventos how are you gonna help me on this!?and I sarged a chick,number closed and we getting along well she told me she had sex only once we were at my place romancing and all that but when I reached down there her clit is tight man I think am gonna hurt her help c.j =]
4 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 1
Cj Clark Piona On that, go slow, and …keep teasing….keep holding off until she she is pulling you inside of her…keep teasing then too…only insert 1/2 then pul out…she will be getting so hott and be aching to have you inside oif her…let me see if I can sift through my writings to give you detailed instructions I wrote on this
about a minute ago · Like
Cj Clark Piona www.getherchasingyou.com had over a thousand posts, so look through the tags and categories for related, sex, sexy, sexual, teasing, orgasm,
It is VERY easy to live excellent
www.adventuresofattraction.com
C.J. “The Siege” – Boston Dating Coach
a few seconds ago · Like
… friendshipsand romanticrelationships. The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of [private]research in social psychology. Interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, love, dislike, or hate someone. It can be viewed as a force acting between two people that tends to draw them together and resist their separation. When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy. It is suggested that attraction between people which leads to friendships and romanticrelationships. The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of research in social psychology. Interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, love, dislike, or hate someone. It can be viewed as a force acting between two people that tends to draw them together and resist their separation. When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy. It is suggested that to determine attraction, personality and situation must be taken into account.
I do something with the first people I see for the day to begin my social momentum for the day. As I was getting closer to the bus stop, I saw two girls. One was facing my direction and the other was facing the first girl, away from me. As I got up to the stop, I simply smiled and said “Hello” to the girl facing me.
“Hello” said the one facing me as her friend turned around to see who she was saying hi to. When the second girl turned, [private] she said “Hi” as well, to which I smiled. As I said, I was just greeting the girls to begin the social momentum for the day. There was nothing striking about them, so I just greeted them and left it at that.
As I got on the bus I could see three seats in a row, each with a girl sitting on the inside seat, leaving the outside one open. A quick scan had me take the seat with the cutest of the three, whom I sat next to.
She was wearing headphones, so I waited a few moments then I turned to her, smiled and asked if she knew which stop it was that the Pru was on (yes I knew this, but I was using the situational questions to feel her out). She explained the stop was Copley so I thanked her, gazed at her face for a moment and smiled. She put her earphones back on and went back to her music. I waited a few more beats of time to go by and I turned to her again.
“What color train is that stop on?” I asked her. She told me ‘green’ then asked me if I was new in town. When a girl asks any question about me, it is a signal of curiosity to know more about me and keep the conversation going.
So I went into my elaborate story of how I am from this area, yet I travel so much. I tell her of my last trip to Puerto Rico lasting 7 months longer than I first thought I would stay, then I went on to tell her about the beauty of the place, the friendliness of the people, the tropical animals and my practice in real-life Spanish.
I talked about the food there, and our conversation transitioned to trading stories about different ethnic restaurants in town. She described a Colombian restaurant she liked (which I noted in my head) and I told her how I love to meet up with friends at different spots to split appetizers. This was about 10 minutes since I first spoke to her.
Our conversation was flowing smoothly, back and forth. I could detect her interest in me and I thought she was cool to talk to. I gauged how many stops were left before I’d have to get off and I said to her: “You seem like you have a really cool energy, it’s a shame we can only enjoy each other’s company for the length of this bus ride.” She expressed agreement in smiles and nodding and small comments. I paused to let it sink in; I even looked away for a moment in thought.
Then I turned back to her. “I wonder what steps we’d need to take to pick this conversation up another time” and I let it sink in while she thought of ways two people could connect later. Trade info, exchange numbers, etc.
Then as if I was hit with a discovery I said. “Ya, we should definitely trade info so we can talk again another time” as I pulled out my cell phone. It never seems awkward when I take baby steps to this type of suggestion, just like the expected normal thing to happen next. I have found that by signaling my way up to the number seemed to be easily accepted and replied well to. It wasn’t an all-of-a-sudden: ‘Let me get your number’ out of nowhere in the conversation. I showed where I was going as if it was the natural next step. I also take the asking for anything out of the picture. I don’t ask for numbers, I suggest we trade information. More even exchange, less pressure.
My favorite part when I do things this way is when I start to suggest, sometimes the girl will have the idea: “Oh ya, give me your number.” Or whatever. This seems to drop the flake factor and have her more invested into waiting for/getting my call too. Not all girls do this, they still are humble feminine creatures but it is cool when they do, usually the outgoing ones.
So I pull out my phone to her.
“What is it?” I asked with my cell phone in hand as I selected ‘new contact’ on my phone.
“Jenna.” She told me.
“No your number. I have to punch that in first, then I can put your name to it.” I said. We hadn’t even traded names yet.
She told me her number; I punched it in and put ‘Jenna’ in the name section. “Ok, I will send you a text right now with my name in it so you can save the number. I’m C.J.” and I sent her a text right then. I could see my call coming through, now knowing it is a real number she gave (we had clicked pretty well so I had no reason to think it wouldn’t be but it is a habit) and she saved the number with my name to it.
We kept chatting and she subtly mentioned her brother & his speaking English. “Where is your family from?” I asked. Even when girls make small subtle points, they are stepping stones for more information, further conversation, getting to know each other better.
“Nicaragua.” She said.
“No kidding, como estas?” I had to ask, practicing my Spanish once again. “You can be my Spanish practice buddy.” (I do usually hint at girls getting stuck in my friend-zone if they don’t play their cards right. Here is another frame that I found by owning it first, I never get stuck in.)
She then told me she was riding the green line too and would be coming with me since her stop was one after mine. We boarded the train, chatting for the ride, when I got to my stop, I took her arm for a small squeeze and told her I would talk to her later.
To keep whatever emotional high she was in from meeting me, I sent her a text about an hour later: “Hey Jenna, now I am all curious about the Colombian place you told me of. We’ll have to go split appetizers when we both have time free. C.J.”
…and 20 minutes later I get her text back: “Definitely! =)”
….. it is time for you to make [private] specific plans that is fun and interesting.
“That is so awesome we both like Latin food, we’ll have to check out that new place in Harvard Square to split an appetizer and see what they are like….”
Or whatever. Just making tentative plans will increase her likelihood to pick up the call. rather than just picking up to chat & feel like she has to be making a good impression, she has a logical reason to want to talk to you, to finalize the plans you have started to create. [/private]
In essence I tell Mya that I don’t want to fuck a girl based on appearance, I want to fuck a girl based on what I find inside.
I can look at beautiful woman, but beauty is common. I have dated too many tens/models/strippers than I’d like to admit… but for me to want any sexy-time out of a situation, I need a girl who can entertain my insides.
Since beauty is too common, there are three things I look for. A good personality, a good energy, and a good outlook.”
I look her down then up to her eyes: “You got two out of three, its a good start.”
Then she wants to know which ones she has & which one she is missing. Things turn into a playful cat & mouse as I change the subject.
I tell her: “You know what? I’m gonna make you my girlfriend for the next 5 Minutes, I hope you won’t stalk me when we break up. ”
Then I start the plot line for our little shared imagination movie: “Since we only have 5 minutes, we need to [private]make this really good, ok? Good. So girlfriend, how’s your mom? Tell her I said thanks for the birthday gift, but it really didn’t fit. No, don’t tell her that part, I loved it!” as I am laughing with her since it so silly.
To re-engage the scenario, I pick it back up in a few minutes: “Hey girlfriend, I have something to tell you: I’ve been cheating on you…with your best friend.”
She was mockingly defensive: “Oh no! How could you?” and playing along.
“I’m really sorry girlfriend (I continue to call her: “girlfriend” too, not her name. It was fun to stay in character, even if sometimes I used a gay voice to say it. )
“I couldn’t help myself.” I continued “I’m just really sexual… you know that!” as we played charade kiss & make up scenes, to keep the goofiness going. [/private]
What the core of it is to be responding to her signals of coming towards you. This is rewarding for her for taking those actions.
You can be sending those things out that have her likely to respond in favorable ways, but then keeping you’re eye on to what she’s responding to know what next best steps are.
While responding to the signals she sends you, it shows her that those are good signals to be sending you, increasing her frequency at it.
This is funny, I have a standard way of doing this, all a part of my GHCY method that goes:
When the check comes I reach my hand for it while saying:
“Oh, I insist on paying my half missy…” (then with a smirk) “Otherwise, I’d feel like I owe you something later.Wink”
And this too comes from growing up with so many girls in my life, there is an unspoken (even when it’s not real) expectation thinking that girl’s feel is upon them when a guy pays for a date.
By saying this single one alone, it half shows you know more about female thinking than most guys on the planet.
On the other side of that same coin, when said playfully/jokingly, it will start the unspoken momentum in your favor and completely UDR (under the radar)
to bust her on. Look at her dress sense, her accessories, her belt matching her shoes, her handbag, her heels, her dorky actions whatever it is to bust on her about. I always turn the tables and keep implying how she is the one screwing up her chances with me.
If she is from outta town and[private] having problems with directions, I can shake my head & say to her: “This relationship just isn’t gonna work out” with a playful smirk.
She fumbles while she is pouring coffee. “This relationship just isn’t gonna work out.” Now this is something as trivial as pouring coffee & I say it with a mischievous, not serious smirk. Although the message is sent, her logical mind knows it can’t be true while her emotional mind isn’t quite sure. Then her emotional mind will trick her logical mind into chasing you some more, just to be sure.
Anything even slightly goofy she does, I shake my head with a playful sigh: “Are you ALWAYS like this?”
[/private]
let the lull in conversation happen. It is okay. This can even be a [private] form of compliance test. Wait until she starts conversation, girl’s nervous energy during silences can work in your favor at this point.
Once I see her trying to invest a little more, I may cut her off, knowing she is attentive. “Ya, hold that thought. What I wanted to ask you and tell you was…” and then continue those fun topics from before or ones like them.
[/private]
I’ll use this reply to isolate some nuggets in your post.
[quote=Ofey]
Me: Ah, you guys don’t have Asian Fetish do you? [b]I may be sexy, but I will not be objectified![/b] [/quote]
Shows that you have a better handle of what girls go through, their perspective is than most guys have. It also flips the coin enough & many girls will like to play along as the objectifying aggressor. It is another playful time that can lead to more great things in a near future with a girl.
I use these type of playful presuppositions all the time. After a few minute conversation with a hott cocktail waitress at a venue, with me stacking about four of these in a row, she was grabbing my arm and telling me “I love you” in a playful way. She was loving the fact that I showed her I understood a woman’s world in all of this, but not a bad place to start off.
[quote=Ofey]
At one point I give her a noogie…don’t remember why but when the energy spiked.[/quote]
Great way to further treat a girl as you would a little sister. This is something that would stand way out from what guys in bars are doing in how they treat her. Not every girl would go for it, but a wicked fun/playful vibe to set in if they do….and a great way to seize a high point.
[quote=Ofey]
At one point I lean back and look her up and down very obviously.
HBRight: what’re you looking at??
Me: your angles
HBRight: my what?
Me: them currrves
HBRight: um…what about them
Me: yeah you’re fuckin sexy[/quote]
That is great, keeping her in full participation of the compliment. She is asking for each small step in the process.
Sometimes I may take a girl by the back of the neck, pull her close so I can tell her in her ear “You are sexy as fuck.” then I push her back a bit and keep talking.
Most likely I’ll be changing the subject so the compliment can sink in & she doesn’t have a chance to erase it with her sassy shit.
That’s like most compliments. When a girl is complimented by a guy, she feels a pressure to thank him. Girls are brought up to be polite and gracious, so they will feel a gap to fill if there is a pause after a compliment.
If sliding in those compliments clear enough so she hears them, but then talking past the time she would be saying ‘thank you’ for them, gives them a better chance to have it more of an open loop.
She doesn’t feel like she has to be polite and thank anybody. They come across as a statement of opinion, and she doesn’t feel the need to exchange her polite ‘thanks’ in return for it.
Then when it came to this:
[quote=Ofey]Me: oh yeah? that’s cool though your dad’s would love me. but your boyfriend wont cuz he’d be jealous you like me so much.[/quote]
Is another great way to take what you have detected and tell her what you see in words. In the way women think they often look to those around them to define what is going on in what they feel and why they are doing what they do. By interpreting things in the best possible way at first, they are more likely to go along with that and it tends to flourish. They are more likely to be doing more things in the the direction they heard.
This case was about a boyfriend, but statements like this can be adapted to other similar ‘cold read’ type things too.
Another great presupposition:
[quote=Ofey]I see one of our guys talking to like 6 girls so I go in to wing. I go in with “hey —–, why do you have so many women?” I ask the girls if they’re nice or if I need to be worried for my friends safety[/quote]
Kino Escalation
I was trying to find other ways of escalating and I figured something out which really worked out great.
When you are sitting down next to the girl take her hand and hold it between the two of you. Comment about her ring(s) or nails and instead of giving her back her hand, gently place it on your leg. (but don’t stop talking, keep conversation flowing or else you’ll look quite odd)
***It is said that don’t let the girl determine how long you touch her for (ex: arm around shoulder) and that you should be the one to time them***
However, for this method, I would say, let her decide what to do with her hand from there. Look for IOI’s.
1. If she gently takes her hand away while brushing your leg
2. If she leaves her hand there
3. If she moves up your thigh
4. If she squeezing your leg or thumb tap. Etc.
IF she were to quickly pull away, false disqualifiers would be sufficient or light negs. When this happens and you do these, move back as quick as her hand. This is key, because this will look like she is the one who is making the move on you.
“Whoa! You are a feisty one!”
“Hey now, I don’t want your cooties!”
“Hey, hey, hey! Just because we’re clicking doesn’t mean we’re going to fuck later!”
Then continue flow of conversation, go back to what you were talking about, or change subjects then start to build more on comfort. Then try again.
You can actually do this standing up as well. I was talking to Dean about this and he added some nice key points here as well.
Again, take her hand and comment on her ring or nails. Take her hand and place it on your shoulder as you joke around about anything. If she pulls back, again, false disqualifiers and light negs to have the two of you laugh together. Then start to build more on the comfort.
If she complies once you put her hand on your shoulder, place your hand on her lower back and gently pull in. Take her other hand and place it on your other shoulders, then you can begin to talk softly as you gaze deep into her eyes as you go in for the almost kiss or full make out.
You can even use this as a close for the night as well. Place her hand on your shoulder, your hand on her lower back, pull in and give her a cheek kiss goodbye. (The thing is this: Cheek kisses, the lips never touch the cheek. It’s usually cheek to cheek with an air kiss.) If her lips touch your cheek, she is most likely willing to go all the way with the make out. If not, hopefully you have her number already to work on later.
This is all about leading and escalating in kino. Leading shows dominance and the kino escalation creates a sexual vibe. You got to keep talking while you do this so that she won’t know what hit her till it is too late.
Try this out. It’s a lot of fun.
DSmoothMike – Dating Coach Assistant
D as in “Damn” Smooth as in “Butter” Mike as in “The Filippino lover!”
Las Vegas is the world’s adult Disney World. So image being there with a Dating coach guiding you along…scratch that, Image being there with 3-4 coaches!
There is a mansion in Vegas that is creating a buzz in this Seduction “Community”. Yes I said Mansion, 5 bedrooms and baths, fireplaces…yes more than one, POOL! and more!
“Hey hunny, great talking to you, you should come to the after party, AT OUR HOUSE, with a POOL, and Jacuzzi!!” ~C.J. “The Siege” to girls at team pull with JerseyBoy in LA.
Read that quote over again.
Now remeber it. Once you are rolling along in conversation with some new girls, drop that into conversation to see some girl’s eyes light up!
The from there all you have to do is work out logistics to move you all back to the Place wwhen sexy fun is abbout to ahppen.
You see, Siege is there with a single fun outcome in mind that will prioritize the others throughout what is going on. Sure He’ll be enjoying the rest ov=f Vegas, with a particular radar on.
And ALSO rememer, what he is looking to have he gets so once one girl in the group is making out, that feeling transfers to the girl you are talking to with him as your wing.
Then she want’s to making out, this increasing your ability to escalate with her ENPORMOUSLY!!
Then once back to the pad, the girl you are talking to hears/sees sexy time going on with C.J. and his girl. She too want to be having sexy-time since the mere thought of hearing her friend enjoying the pleasures she wants, willl raise her buying temperature like you’d never believe…that is unless you have singed up foro the Vegas Event
This is not your everyday meet-up or weekend boot camp, you and the coaches DO NOT part ways for hours after the outing to your respective hotel rooms. You get a text from a girl after the night is done, there is a coach right there ready to help!
This is a project house weekend in the city that parties 24/7! on Halloween weekend no less!
This isn’t just locals, this is everyone from every where, flying/driving in to party and be naughty!
Guys this is a chance to get out and broaden your horizons! Travel and bring home stories to your friends and even women in your home town. SO when she asks have you traveled your response can be something other than “Yes with my mom and dad, to Disney world, when i was FIVE!
The problem in this are of self-improvement is that there is too many who want to read material for days or months on end and never strp out of their home or their OR their comfort zone then go out with others who do that same thing, and it ends up being “The Blind leading the Blind”
Lets put a stop to that and hit Vegas with coaches and make some memories to last a life time!
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Vegas recommendations
There is some people on this forum heading to Vegas, so I thought I’d put in my recommendations and what I’ve learned:
1. Girls at tables won’t talk to you that much.
Well, if it’s tables like Craps or Roulette, they got time to talk after their turn, or during their turn, but when it comes down to card games, they would prefer not to talk, but think up ways on how to win. You can make quick and witty comments to grab her attention then pull her to a different table, but conversation wise, no- they will not talk to you.
2. Girls are easier at the slot machines.
Slot machines are designed so you can take your time with them. There is no pressure or rush to do anything. So they can stop whatever they are doing and talk to you, or play and talk at the same time.
3. Pull them from different parts of the casino.
The casinos have a lot of things to look at, and places to be. Such as bars, clubs, slot machines, tables, or even watching a game together. Pull them to different areas to create small intimate moments that you can expand on later.
4. Pull them to different casinos.
It’s like making small intimate moments inside the casino, you are now making a larger memory to help raise the attraction and comfort. Also, there is open liquor laws in Vegas. Share a drink outside by bridge that connects the Excaliber to the NYC Hotel, or watch the pirate show at the Treasure Island hotel for free.
5. Shopping Malls inside the casino and the Vegas Strip are awesome places to meet women too.
It’s like Day GSF, except you can pull them into the bedroom without leaving your hotel/casino (well, depending on where you are. I recommend Ceasars Palace. A lot of high class and beautiful girls there.)
6. Wednesday night (or was it Thursday?) at the Planet Hollywood Hotel/casino
Strippers on poles and half naked women everywhere. What’s not to enjoy?
7. Vegas has the best strip clubs in America
JUST DO IT
8. The Vegas Effect
Remember, no one REALLY lives in Vegas…and tourists are always more prone for one night stands as opposed to local natives. Why? Because it’s exciting, daring, and fun.
9. Don’t forget the 4 questions to SNL
This actually works a lot better there, I found.
10. Eat your vegetables…
Nothing is more sexy than a man who loves his vegetables.
AND HERE IS YOUR BONUS:
11. If you’re looking for drugs, late night, on the bridge the connects the NYC Hotel and the Excaliber. Dealers usually hang out there.
Overall, guys, have fun. If you’re looking for any other fun places to check out while you’re there, I visited about all the casino’s, so I know where to go.
-DSmoothMike, Assist. to Dating Coach
D as in “Damn” Smooth as in “Butter” Mike as in “The Filippino lover!”
This girl that I met at 10pm last night, kept me up till 6am today.
Then at 12:30 today, this comes in:
“:) I have not stopped smiling all day, sorry about the latch, hope the rest of ur day goes just as well, I’ll talk to u soon” ~HBScorpio
When I write/post rest of story, you’ll see what I mean when SNL becomes 8 hour love story that needs a sequel to be congruent.
Sure I fall in love like junior high girls get crushes, but 4 some reason the love is real (totally in love with the moments we share(d) & wouldn’t trade those 4 the world.). …..X, Ttyl. CJ
#1- Push her against a door
Simply look her deep in the eyes for a whole moment, saying nothing. Then grab her and push her back against a door with you coming to the door too, to make a girl sandwich with your body and the door. Press yourself into her and start making out with her aggressively. Enjoy every taste of her like she is a delicious desert. Tell her: “I want to fall inside you.” but still hold off. Once you told her that, the seed has been planted, let her want more of you as long as you can.
This same move can also work against a wall, but you have to be extra careful about pushing her against a hard surface that doesn’t give (it can hurt and break her out of the moment) and a wall makes less of a ”SLAM!” noise than a door does. Be firm not shoving.
Dominant sex move #2- Pull her hair
For foreplay, stand behind her, kissing her neck. First rach up to the back of her head where her hair starts, and pull her hair back. Girls really go crazy for this.
When you’re doing her doggy style (a very dominant position), you can enhance your dominance by pulling her hair as you say dirty words in your low sexy voice to her.
Dominant sex move #3- Push her face into
the floor
Phucking her doggy is very dominant. You are physically above her and she is on her hands and knees. As you’re phucking her doggy style, use your hand to force her head and shoulders into the bed sheets. Sometimes I lay her on her stomach, he legs together. Then from above her I enter her while using my hands on her lower back, lightly pinned to the bed. She can feel total surrender in this.
Dominant sex move #4- Pin her hands down
Once some playful flirts have gone back and forth between you two, throw her onto the bed missionary position and with her hands above her head, forcefully pin them down as you phuck her.
Dominant sex move #5- Fuck her hard, fast,
and deep
Girls like it when you ravish the shit out of them with everything you have, full of passion and energy. Phucking a girl hard, fast, and deep is both dominant and characteristic of a healthy alpha male in full embrace of his masculine energy.
Dominant sex move #6- Kiss her forcefully
take her face and push your tongue in, like you are giving her a forceful tongue penetration. Make the kiss wet, forced, and nasty. Every time a tongue is pushed in their mouth they assocaite that to penetration on them in hotter places.
Dominant sex move #7- Manhandle her into
position
When you want to switch position, (each one is a combination of new sensations for her) don’t tell her nicely. Decide what you want and manuver her that way. You can roughly grab your girl by the legs, arms, waist, or whatever body part to get her moved right and forcefully manhandle her into the next position you want her in.
Girls seeing this strength of character is what hold desirability for a guy. Seeing him change his ways, because of her whims or because of something that hasn’t even been indicated as something she doesn’t like
With most girls, especially that early in a relationship, then knowing they are with is very desired by other women reminds them they have a catch.
They continue to be putting their best foot forward. They continue to keep their actions to be ‘chasing’ so to speak and doing what pleases the man the best they can. Which by the way is part of feminine inherent nature, they like to please the ones they care about.
(a few comments in reply to a story I recently heard)
[The moral of the story: Have better things to do than meet women.]
Totally and in essence, by indicating that you have better things to do than meet-up with women, this shows you are a very [private] deep, complex, multi-interest/passionate type of guy. This is more of the type of guy girls like to be with. She will not see the value in hanging out with a guy who will drop everything to meet up with her, but will find value in hanging out with a guy who likes her enough to try and make a little time for her.
[You see, he actually made himself much more attractive by doing exactly what he did.]
This is part of the almost-validation that leads girls to be in that wonderful place of being in pursuit of a guy that she likes, not being the pursued. Both the girl and the guy are much happier in these relationship dynamics for the sort-run and the long-run.
A girl has felt pursued by guys her whole life; since puberty. Most guys have been in pursuit of girls since puberty. Once a girl finds a guy she has to work a bit to earn his favor, she appreciates her ‘catch’ much more. Once a guy is being pursued by women, his personal value, self esteem goes to very healthy places. They both can grow much better in this kind of relationship, as people.
[Last, he doesn't present himself as timid or even like he did anything wrong, because he hadn't.]
I see guys getting caught in this trap all the time, taking responsibility for something that wasn’t their fault, to sooth the woman, or so they believe. When the facts can be clearly identified to understand responsibility, it can even free up the pride from its hesitation from apology. I recently had a girl who was texting me & calling me during a time I was involved in a project, which I don’t answer my calls/texts when I am involved in activities.
After calling/texting me every hour or 2, without any response from me, she got pretty bothered. When I was freed up and returned her contact, I could tell she was pretty stirred up, although this was not because of any wrongness of my actions. I clearly stated to her “Although there was nothing I could have/would have done differently, I am sorry you felt that way.”
Based on the facts, I was honest as I could be. There was nothing I would have done differently, yet I had no intention of her getting all bothered. I don’t like it when people in my life are upset, regardless if I had no control of the reasons they are. So yes, I was sorry she was upset. I wasn’t sorry for anything I did or didn’t do, I was simply sorry she got upset over things.
She could hear, based on what I was saying that I had no apologies for my actions, yet I was empathetic enough with her to care how she felt. By what I said, she can clearly understand that I’d like her to be happy, yet I won’t change my routines to make this happen.
[Lowering her value and raising his. As her emotions began to wear on her, he became more valuable because she invested feelings, energy and time into a man who has better things to do than meet some girl]
This is a great explanation. I see guys getting a bit confused to what it means in social dynamics to be ‘higher value’ or ‘lower value.’ It is not so much one simply being a higher value person in a general sense (although this may be a part of what leads to it, I have also seen it have no effect) of social status.
As you can see, she valued spending time with him more than he valued spending time with her in that moment. She valued his company more at that time compared to how much he valued her company. He’d like to spend time with her, but had a few things higher in priority. Rather than value being rated on the general scope of things, it was amount of value time spend with the other meant to a person.
You plant seeds to get her number without any possibility of rejection
On my way Saturday and as usual, I did something with the first people I see for the day to begin my social momentum for the day. As I was getting closer to the bus stop, I saw two girls. One was facing my direction and the other was facing the first girl, away from me. As I got up to the stop, I simply smiled and said “Hello” to the girl facing me.
“Hello” said the one facing me as her friend turned around to see who she was saying hi to. When the second girl turned, she said “Hi’ as well, to which I smiled at. As I said, I was just greeting the girls to begin the social momentum for the day. There was not anything striking about them, so I just greeted them and left it at that.
As I got on the bus I could see three seats in a row, each with a girl sitting on the inside seat, leaving the outside one open. A quick scan had me take the seat with the cutest of the three, whom I sat next to.
She was wearing headphones, so I waited a few moments then I turned to her, smiled and asked if she knew which stop it was that the Pru was on (yes I knew this, but I was using the situational questions to feel her out). She explained the stop was Copley so I thanked her, gazed at her face for a moment and smiled. She put her earphones back on and went back to her music. I waited a few more beats of time to go by and I turned to her again.
“What color train is that stop on?” I asked her. She told me ‘green’ then asked me if I was new in town. When a girl asks any question about you, it is a signal of curiosity to know more about you and keep the conversation going.
So I went into my elaborate story of how I am from this area, [private] yet I travel so much. I tell her of my last trip to Puerto Rico lasting 7 months longer than I first thought I would stay, then I went on to tell her about the beauty of the place, the friendliness of the people, the tropical animals and my practice in real-life Spanish.
I talked about the food there, and our conversation transitioned to trading stories about different ethnic restaurants in town. She described a Colombian restaurant she liked (which I noted in my head) and I told her how I love to meet up with friends at different spots to split appetizers. This was about 10 minutes since I first spoke to her.
Our conversation was flowing smoothly, back and forth. I could detect of her interest in me and I thought she was cool to talk to. I gauged how many stops were left before I’d have to get off and I said to her: “You seem like you have a really cool energy, it’s a shame we can only enjoy each other’s company for the length of this bus ride.” She expressed agreement in smiles and nodding and small comments. I paused to let it sink in; I even looked away for a moment in thought.
Then I turned back to her.“I wonder what steps we’d need to take to pick this conversation up another time” and I let it sink in while she thought of ways two people could connect later. Trade info, exchange numbers, etc.
Then as if I was hit with a discovery I said. “Ya, we should definitely trade info so we can talk again another time” as I pulled out my cell phone. It never seems awkward when I take baby steps to this type of suggestion, just like the expected normal thing to happen next. I have found that by signaling my way up to the number seemed to be easily accepted and replied well to. It wasn’t an all-of-a-sudden: ‘Let me get your number’ out of nowhere in the conversation. I showed where I was going as if it was the natural next step. I also take the asking for anything out of the picture. I don’t ask for numbers, I suggest we trade information. More even exchange, less pressure.
My favorite part when I do things this way is when I start to suggest, sometimes the girl will have the idea and say: “Oh ya, give me your number.” Or whatever. This seems to drop the flake factor and have her more invested into waiting for/getting my call too. Not all girls do this, they still are humble feminine creatures but it is cool when they do, usually the outgoing ones.
So I pull out my phone to her.
“What is it?” I asked with my cell phone in hand as I selected ‘new contact’ on my phone.
“Jenna.” She told me.
“No your number. I have to punch that in first, then I can put your name to it.” I said. We hadn’t even traded names yet.
She told me her number; I punched it in and put ‘Jenna’ in the name section. “Ok, I will send you a text right now with my name in it so you can save the number. I’m C.J.” and I sent her a text right then. I could see my call coming through, now knowing it is a real number she gave (we had clicked pretty well so I had no reason to think it wouldn’t be but it is a habit) and she saved the number with my name to it.
We kept chatting and she subtly mentioned her brother & his speaking English. “Where is your family from?” I asked. Even when girls make small subtle points, they are stepping stones for more information, further conversation, getting to know each other better.
“Nicaragua.” She said.
“No kidding, como estas?” I had to ask, practicing my Spanish once again. “You can be my Spanish practice buddy.” (I do usually hint at girls getting stuck in my friend-zone if they don’t play their cards right. Here is another frame that I found by owning it first, I never get stuck in…Yet to keep this type of statement from indicating she doesn’t have a chance, I [/private] ….will pair it with a statement that has a subtle sexual undertone.)
She then told me she was riding the green line too and would be coming with me since her stop was one after mine. We boarded the train, chatting for the ride, when I got to my stop, I took her arm for a small squeeze and told her I would talk to her later.
To keep whatever emotional high she was in from meeting me, I sent her a text about an hour later: “Hey Jenna, now I am all curious about the Colombian place you told me of. We’ll have to go split appetizers when we both have time free. C.J.”
…and 20 minutes later I get her text back: “Definitely! =)”
…because they don’t turn off the sexuality… [private]“nice” guys think women will be terrified of their
sexuality, so they turn it off and all they get is women responding to their androgyny.
The great part of this is, is that a guy does not have to be a bastard to keep this same attraction switch on. Keep sexual topics flowing freely from your mouth and she will see that sex is an acceptable topic to be discussing with you.
“I hear about all this equal rights talk going on. Did you know that women are capable of NINE different types of orgasms? Guys only get two types that we can have, this ‘nine’ business seems like you got a better end of that deal.”
Saying something like this opens the table for okay-ness to have sex on it and also shows a sexual intelligence that most guys do not have. If you know this much, she will go on to wonder if you know how to give her those nine types.
“Hey honey, don’t worry about it. I’m cocky for a big reason.:
(www.getherchasingyou.com) Maintaining her chasing through texting
For a good example of how well girls respond to playful anything and how the like a masculine dominance express so they feel better about their feminine humility/submissiveness to come forth, there was a recent message banter I thought I could share.
She has actively contacted me every so often. We have hung out but a few times more recently she had to cancel tentative plans because of complications in her life. So a few days ago I get this message:
HBNurse: Hey sweetie whats up with ya ya ya? Do u miss me or do u hate me now? Xo
(I am guessing she is referring to her last need to cancel our tentative plans.)
Me: You are in a neutral limbo status with potential available to you that could put you on the good side in a moment’s notice…that is if you take the right steps.
(Subtextually, I am letting her know that I haven’t totally written her off, but if she wants ot be in good favor with me, there are steps she will need to take. This is another level of that sweet spot to indicate to girls. They do not have total..[/private] …approval yet they are not rejected/dismissed. There is a clear enough indication that her actions in the right way can lead to the rewards she wants. Not too easily obtained, but the potential is within her reach.)
HBNurse: K. I would like right steps obi wan. School ur young jedi…..
(This is great. She is the one to turn it into a game, so to speak. She is following my lead to what I indicated, but giving us the fictional roles of characters in Star Wars. I hear which way she is following my lead and I go with that as well, rewarding her choices that are in the direction I want along the way. Like in child psychology, reward the good behavior you want more of & ignore the negative behaviors to make them go away. Girls work the same way. Good result or bad result they are driven to do those things that get the most attention. )
Me: Ok, Miss Young Skywalker…first step is for you to alert me when you are in my area and have a block of time to do what you want with.
(Here, I am rewarding her following my lead and I will play along with the roles she found. The roles actually will let me be more direct as the game goes along since it is joking, with the real meaning heard underneath. She hits me up every so often with texting banter, but here I am telling her to let me know when she wants to get together & is ready to take more of my direction. I already won’t make plans with her unless I am absolutely certain she will follow through, so when she does what I asked, this is the first step in her making a commitment she will follow through with. )
HBNurse: Yes master…. Then?
(I know she wants to text banter on a sexual level at this point. I will do nothing but vague hints to let her imagination do most of the work. Just like there are ways to build tension and create open loops in texts, tension can be released for her in texts. I see her curiosity and decide to keep it at that at this point. With this game on the table now, later I can simply recall that curiosity in her at a later point with it.)
Me: You will be given the next directions when you have successfully completed the first step…and second step isn’t guaranteed unless it is clear you are ready for more…who knows, you may get second step first time you complete the first one or maybe you won’t get it until the tenth time you have completed the first step…it all depends on the moment & your readyness for more in that moment.
(Here I am telling her that her curiosity will not be satisfied until she completes the first direction I gave her. I won’t even tell her the next steps. Some girls can get release of that tension through sexy talk through even texts. Every girl is different but I like to continuously be building tension, holding off from that release until it can be done physically.)
HBNurse: Yes master… I understand! What will u have me do…
(She heard what I said, but is trying again to get me to give her some sexier talk within the texts. I will vaguely hint at more when I see that my building of more tension will have her wanting that release AND is able/ready to meetup for that release to happen physically. Not only do I repeat what she needs to do to get what she wants… )
Me: Good girl, but listen: <> …it may be different depending on the moment you complete that….depending on the current moment & how ready for more you express you are.
(…I get a little more specific so she knows what factors will increase the likelihood of her getting what she wants.)
HBNurse: Yes master soon ill b ready to complete my training….
(Here she is telling me she heard what I said & is clear. Previously I told her to withhold contacting me until she had a block of time with no constraint but it still is no guarantee.)
Me: Ok, Leave me be until you feel you are ready.
(I know I can call back the theme of this banter at any time later to remind her or re-spark her curiosity…but for now, I will take away this banter until she tells me she has time, or I pick it up to re-spark those things.)
What girls want least is those things they can have too easily. They want those things more that are hard to get. What they want most are those things that are just a hairsbreadth out of their reach, what they can almost have if they figure out the best steps to take. Giving them indication of what those steps might be is a good feeler to see their readiness. As soon as they start to try (getting the chasing going) they will get small rewards with indications of how they can modify their steps to get bigger rewards.
I stay vague about the exact reward possible, just vague hints but am clearer about the steps they need to take…[/private] …to even find out what those rewards might be. I let their imagination do most of the work. It comes up with things closer to what they want, and their never quite sure if they are right anyways.
That uncertainty creates desire in them just to find out what those rewards might be and to know a clearer picture of what they need to do to get them…. is a larger factor in creating desire than anything explicit described anyways.
So it all started at Allston bar/grill, Sunset Grill. I was there a little early to be meeting some friends there for dinner. The waitress gave me a table beeper and I sat at the bar to wait for my friends. I was sitting on the corner of the bar and on the adjacent side of the bar were 4 girls in a row. I eye contacted with a smile the two that were closest to me.
As soon as the girl closest to me got her drink, we talked about her beer a bit. We mad some jokes about beers. To explain her reasons to be out on a weeknight, she says that she and her friends ran the marathon that day, so even though I only partially believe her (based on her delivery) I play along with her joke.
I scan across the row of girls and notice the one farthest from me, the youngest and the cutest of the bunch is doing some eye contact flirting heavily but is much more reserved than the other 3 girls.
The first girl then points out each girl in the row and tells me of something that was significant about them in the marathon simultaneously doing a mini-intro without names. She tells me one girl had a knee go out in the last 2 miles, that she personally had stomach ache during part of the race and small factors about each one during the race. It seems as if she is making the whole thing up, but I play along for playful sake.
At one point she is playing with her phone and I see an engagement/wedding band on the indicator finger. She was wicked fun to talk & joke with, so I just noted it in my head & went on with the convo. My first buddy shows up. After a few minutes of catch up talk, I quickly introduce him in to the girls. I use the same intro the first girl did with me when she introduced me to the group.
I started announcing the group to my buddy as an introduction. “Ya, and these girls ran the marathon today. This girl had a stomach-ache, This girl a knee problem…” I began with…. and the first girl finished my introduction to my buddy with the specifics she told me previously. She finished up the introductions.
Conversation went on with me, my buddy & mostly the girl closest to us and a little less with next girl over and even less with the 3rd girl in the group.( Nothing but gazes from the last girl in the row.) At one point the second girl in the row mentioned her husband offhandedly in a comment so I made my second note in my head. The girls were fun to chat with, so it kept going on for a few minutes until their appetizers came.
As the first 3 girls were eating their appetizers, I saw the last girl in the row, the one making her heavy eye contact flirts. She had no appetizer and was just sitting with her drink. She was blond, very cute & definitely caught my attention. She had a rocker chick vibe which has caught & held my attention more than once. I excused myself from my buddy, walked down the bar to where this last girl was sitting and started talking. I first was [private]talking about the marathon again and this girl mentioned that she didn’t even go, she told me the other things she did that day.
The conversation jumps from that to places she’s worked in the past, her love for snowboarding, her origin of a different state. She tells me of her parents, her studies in school. She also tells me what she loves about her studies although her line of work was nothing even closely related. She is getting really excitedly passionate explaining these things, which I find very attractive. I still wasn’t thinking of her as much more than a cool chick to be talking to at the time. As far kino was concerned, the only touching I do is basic offhanded touches that goes easily in any conversation.
We get pretty involved in conversation as I see her getting more interested. She is turning her chair more away from the bar and more towards me and getting excited about the topics she mentioned that I asked her more about as she was elaborating. She was getting excited in her topics and was fun listening to her telling her stories this way. Seeing her interest and energy raising, I point out my friend who diagonally across the bar to point him out to her. I tell her that I think she is wicked cool but I have to get back to my friend (another way to roll out on a high point), we are waiting for another friend before getting a table.
“Oh we should totally trade contact so we can pick this up another time.” I tell her. She agrees and takes out her phone as I was taking out mine. I tell her my information and tell her to call her number through so I have it for later. Then I select her call, select ‘Add to contacts” and hand her my phone telling her to type in the information so I have it saved. She does this and while I am saving it we get into other conversations.
We then talk more about where she was from, what she studied in college and her love for snowboarding and her 3 month trip in the past winter. The conversation was still rolling along nicely so I stayed in it for a few minutes before getting back to my friend. As I start to walk away from her, I turn back and tell her that my friend and I are waiting for another chick friend and then we are getting a table. I tell her as soon as our other friend arrives that she should join us at the table too. She says it sounds good so I tell her I will let her know when I get buzzed for the table.
I go back to my buddy, our other chick friend arrived and I get buzzed for the table. Before sitting down, I go back to HBsnowboard and tell her I just got buzzed for the table. She tells me she is going to the bathroom and will be over after.
So my two friends and I go sit at our new table. We sit and are chatting and laughing along. This new table was on a totally opposite side of the restaurant but a few minutes later I see HBsnowboard coming in the dining room and making her way over. My buddy and chick friend were on the other side of the table so the available seat was on the bench seating next to me where she sat down.
We all ordered and talk and laugh for the next 2 hours or so. We really were just a table of pals chatting it up over dinner, with a new pal involved. Turns out, this girl was not with the other 3 at the bar, she just met them and were insta-friended by them.
All sorts of things come up in our conversation. When I bring up off handed topics of sex, we talk of wacky places to have sex. Then she tells me that she lost her virginity twice. First was with two other girls, then a different time with a guy. We talk of the way Joey Lauren Adams character in ‘Chasing Amy’ explained concepts related to losing virginity and the differences between girl/boy sex and girl/girl sex.
This new girl fit right in with our conversations and everything went along great. I excused myself at one point after dinner to have a smoke and new girl said she was coming with me to smoke as well. While we were outside, I asked her about the hookah bars nearby. Once I learned she liked them, I told her of my hookah at my house.
She told me of her day & of her two roommates. One was a guy and the other was girl who didn’t really like each other. She told me she was a mediator between the two at times. While we were chatting outside, I asked her what she was doing the next day and she told me nothing. I mentioned going back to my place after dinner to smoke hookah and told her she was welcome to come along. She then remembered she was supposed to meet her guy roommate at a nearby bar for a few but said she would skip that since she was having fun with me and could catch up to him later.
We went back inside, had a few more drinks. My buddy had to leave early since he had an NY trip in the following morning so HBsnowboard, my chick friend and myself stayed for another round chatting and laughing. We all paid the bill, I hugged my chick friend goodbye and HBsnowboard and her exchanged “nice meeting you”s with each other.
I first was ready to shoot back to my place with HBsnowboard to smoke some hookah when she tells me that she now has to go to the nearby bar to check on her guy roommate and touch base with him…this was the same one she decided to skip meeting with earlier when it came up. She tells me this and I say nothing, I just look at her. She then then tells me I can come too if I want.
“Alright, why not. That’s a fun bar, I’ll hang for a little bit.”
Sure I could have let her go or said bye or even tried to give her address or directions to my house but I know from prior experience what happens. Her attraction drops, the rapport is temporarily forgotten and a girl will get wrapped up in a new activity. She will be wrapped in the moments and not make it to after plans. I was having fun & came along to the nearby bar she was meeting her roommate at.
HBsnowboard and I go inside. I go up to the bar ahead of her and order a diet coke. She comes up behind me and orders her drink. We chat some more for a while till she sees her guy roommate across the bar and waves to him. A minute or two later, she tells me she is going over to say hi to him. On her second step away, she tells me I should come too. I tell her ok and let her walk over there by herself. I finish my coke and watch TV for a few minutes where I was.
I do that for her to have the first few minutes with her roommate to catch up with whatever without me there yet. After a few minutes, I wander over to them, sit in the stool on the other side of her and then get introduced. I had some small talk with roommate and let them chat about whatever they were chatting about. When it died down a bit, I pick up conversation with HBsnowboard from topics we talked about earlier in the night. Once she was done with her drink, she indicated she wanted to leave the bar so we said bye to her roommate and went to the bustop to go to my place. I stilll haven’t kissed her at all.
Once we got there, I showed her different things around my place. We talked of where some of the decorating ideas came from and talked about different framed pieces on the walls. At one point while talking about a wall of framed photos, she points to a single one with a sexual theme and says to me: “I like that one”
Hearing her say this, I am watching her face as she does. When she finishes speaking I pull her close and start kissing her for first time, full make out. With many girls I kiss them the first time when we’re already back to my place. Before that it was nothing but offhanded touches in convo and hints dropped by me to them. Enough sexual tension can be built with conversation alone that timing gets to be crucial here. We made out for a few minutes in this hallway. I stopped this after a few and kept talking about the art on the walls and directed her to come with me to see another piece. This piece was in my bedroom. We talked about it for a minute then I pulled her to me again and started kissing her.
With two steps away, I moved us over and fell with her on my bed to keep making out. This went on for about 10 minutes. I was rubbing the sides of her body and rubbing the skin of her back and stomach under her shirt. Once I reached around to unhook her bra, she stopped me, sat up and told me that we just met.
I playfully pushed her back and said “I know it, cut it out.” in a playful smirk. I then stood up, took her hand and said “Come with me.” As I took her back in the living room, I put some music on. I asked if she wanted a glass of water and got her and myself one. We talked for a while and listened to music. She edged her seat on the couch to be tiny bit closer to me so I put my arm around her and started making out again. We made out for a while, and I stopped it to change the radio. I just went easily back into a completely unrelated topic every so often. Then I would bring it back to escalating again.
At one point she half jokingly told me she thought I was a gentleman, that she didn’t expect all this. I told her I never claimed to be gentle with a smirk on my face. I then told her I was attracted to her and asked her: “What’s wrong with that?” She shyly told me nothing. I told her that I didn’t think so either.
A little later I told her I wanted to give each other backrubs. I unfolded the futon and told her I wanted the backrub first. She told me she didn’t think she could do it well and I told her I was open to see what she could do.
I took off my shirt, lied down and she straddled me sitting on my ass. After a few minutes, I told her she wasn’t that good (jokingly but not joking at the same time). I then told her to get off of me so she could lie down and I show her how a backrub is supposed to feel.
She does that, and I start to rub the back of her shirt. After a minute, I tell her to take off the shirt and she does that. As soon as the shirt is off I unhook her bra. Then I rub her back for a while before moving to her sides and teasing the sides of her boobs. I also lean in really close to her, pausing rubbing her back to breath in around her neck and smell her hair so she can feel the air rushing as I can inhale her scents.
She is wearing nylons under her skirt. I go to pull her skirt down and she asks me “What are you doing?”
Rather than explain the obvious, I just tell her. “Take this off” as I press the waist of her skirt to show her what I mean. She does that. Previously doing things like that, I thought I had to continue the thread of giving a harmless backrub. Now understanding how girls think in a moment-to-moment basis, I know once she has gon along with having the skirt off, she is in a new moment with a new objective. Once she has it off, I turn her over to her back and we continue making out of a while. I am in no rush. I enjoy making out with her and I have learned that sometimes the longer amount of time between steps faces less resistance… while sometimes trying to get too many steps in succession increases the likelihood of resistance. This lets me get her really hot with lots of slow sensual touches…I enjoy this. A few more minutes go by & I then feel her hands fiddling with my belt buckle. I show her how it works and then take it off myself.
After 10 minutes or more, I go to pull her nylons down. As I just start to put my fingers under the waist band.[/private] She feels this and takes the nylons and her panties off herself
RE: Siege’s adventures, games & puzzles
The next step in my (“Getting Her Chasing You”) method, is putting it on her. I learned most all of my stuff from growing up with girls & having lots of girls in my life. That is what taught me how to flip the coin in the chase.
The techniques that get them chasing at first ‘hello’ all the way to having them beg for sex and every step along the process. Since girls have been chased their whole life it is like a breath of fresh air for them. They are getting rewarded for what they do, not just the fact that they are a girl and are hott. Their reward in my methods is for the actions they take in chasing the man.
DSmoothMike Wrote:
I had a cigg in my hand and I noticed this girl taking out a smoke. I wanted to try something out…
I walked up to her very casually. I dropped into a lean on the wall, and said to her very slowly and seductively, “I know it sounds a bit…random….hmm….do you want to butt fuck?”
(In smoking terms it means that you get someones lit cigarette and light yours with theirs.)
She laughs and said, “Hell yeah, I want to butt fuck!” takes my cigarette and lights hers. Then she gives my smoke to her friend so she can light hers. “Now look,” she says, “now you’re butt fucking two women.” I slid my hand down her lower back and ass cheeks “Oh really?” I responded. I took a puff and said, “Was it good for you?” and they began laughing. The girl then said, “This guy just walked up to me and gave me these fliers and I have nowhere to put them!” I took a puff, flicked the smoke away and said, “I know EXACTLY where to put them…” I stepped in front of her, stared deep into her eyes, took one flyer, gently placed it inside her bra while caressing the breast. Took the other flyer and did it with the other boob. She was totally going for it when her friend decided to take her back into the other club.
That is phucking awesome,
You have synthesized what I teach in incredible ways! From before I showed you that girls love talking sex, especially under the radar which is a huge part that I learned from seeing girls in my life since childhood communicating with each other in subtextual ways. Interweaving sexual topics where two meanings can easily fit brings out available magical moments to capture.
The next step in my (“Getting Her Chasing You”) method, is putting it on her. I learned most all of my stuff from growing up with girls & having lots of girls in my life. That is what taught me how to flip the coin in the chase.
The techniques that get them chasing at first ‘hello’ all the way to having them beg for sex and every step along the process. Since girls have been chased their whole life it is like a breath of fresh air for them. They are getting rewarded for what they do, not just the fact that they are a girl and are hott. Their reward in my methods is for the actions they take in chasing the man.
It is the same stuff they do to guys and when talking to other girls, in different ways back to them.
For one example, using a bit of plausable deniability back on the girl. Plausable deniability as referenced to how girls accept going back to a SNL location for other reasons.
They want to have sex with you on the inside, but logically, in dialog they are going to watch that youtube video you were talking about. You can use plausablie deniabilty in your favor as she sees it, then she feels like the pursuer and does what she knows how to to fulfill that role.
The Siege at cafe Wrote:
Ex. As in when HB waitress listening to me teasing her aboout lack of a joyful greeting she says “I know, I suck.”
My next comments are “Whoa missy, slow down! We just met and already you’re suggesting mischief. Let’s get to know each other a little better first!” in a playful smirk…
…which instantly puts her in blushy playful places, easily guided to their most escalatable place.
A girls imagination is a wonderful place to play in. She wont feel the need to hesitate or resist since it is all a joke, just playfull banter.
Or is it?
In a girl’s imagination those place can bring them arousal just as fast (actually faster and deeper) than physical stimulation on its own.
Another reason while talk during sexy time dramatically increases the amounts of pleasure she feels, from before foreplay to foreplay to orgasm.
The next thing to do is to tell her to slow down, accusing her of the one bringing things up.
You maintain that she is doing things to you, and you are resisting her. Then you can slowly be ‘dropping your (playfully pretended) resistance’ as she will increase her persistance in response to that.
If you didn’t have a GF , I would explain more about what can be done to capitalize on the friend, keeping her from pulling your target girl away but that’s another branch of this topic. I’ll write about that in my own Personal Progress Thread (PPT) if you remind me too.
What you did in the first example I quoted was great, escalating things already in a way better than above average guys. Yet let me take the example and put myself in that place to think of what could be tried to see how far it can go. I’ll imagine I am where you were at:
C.J. “The Siege Wrote:
With a cigg in my hand, I noticed a girl taking a smoke out of the pack.
As I walk up to her very casually, I dropped into a lean on the wall, and said to her very slowly and seductively, “I know it sounds a bit…random….hmm….do you want to butt fuck?” with a playful smirk
(In smoking terms it means that you get someones lit cigarette and light yours with theirs.)
She laughs and says, “Hell yeah, I want to butt fuck!”
She then takes my cigarette and lights hers. Then she gives my smoke to her friend so she can light hers.
“Now look,” she says, “now you’re butt fucking two women.”
With locked eyes & a playful smirk, I slide my hand down her lower back and ass cheeks missy saying: “Whoa missy, slow down…” in a lower, deeper voice “You might be getting me turned on enough to try things I never dreamed of…” (smirk indreases) “…before I met you.”
Now you can see in that last part, my actions are doing one thing while my words are saying something completely different. This is a key thing to remember & use, that I will elaborate with a variety of examples in my PPT. I will also break down the sentence itself, so another with the key componants that make it work can be adapted to any situation.
Now there are a few different examples of what comments could come next, depending on how she responds to that & even before she responds since most likely she’ll be taken aback for a good moment or two, soaking in what is happening.
Which having that moment of her soaking it in, gives you the time to slide in the next possible leading directions but I’ll cover that in another post
It is said that 1st two weeks of semester have highest ratio of SNLs, Mmm…So 2nd day girl from my class comes along to improv with me after class, then with me to have wine with me & see my place and one thing leads to another… I love it when a girl is thanking me as she is leaving after sex .
The following day of class (2days later, ystrday) she introduces me to her hott friend, we all meet up for wine last night. When we all get back to my place, of course I suggest a 3 way massage but it never even gets that, right to 3 of us enjoying each other naked…sexual tension within dialog leads to beautiful things [/VIDEO LINK chemistry convo seed to 3some
Yes badboy style (you don’t care if she stays or goes, there’s another girl right behind her), but I see it as very Alpha & Leading more than aggressive.
You are clear about showing what you want and making the moves to have it. You do this while still monitoring (just in ‘monitoring her’ in mind, don’t look as if you are waiting to see her validation to continue) her ‘reply’s’ of unspoken messages to your ‘sends’ of unspoken messages.
Her lack of showing any resistance to your lead is her signal that she doesn’t have you in the ‘No Interest’ category, so far. She is agreeable going along with her lead & feels safe in your care.
(*Ex. Definitely pull her in by her stomach/waist if she’s giving strong non-verbal signals of interest. Body language is where a girl can feel free letting you know she’s curious about you.)
Take her hand and princess twirl her, look her down (all the way to shoes) and up.
While your eyes are on their way up…. push your grin into a bright eyed smile if you are enjoying what you see.
This is showing that now that you have seen her whole package, you like what you see. So far she is pleasing to you enough for you to be dancing with her, which is a great 1-on-1 time to get to know each other better.
I might even say: “Alright.” (in the tonality) as if I just jokingly agreed to a favor for her before I pull her somewhere.
“Now lets see how you dance.” (This is letting her know she has to qualify…at least be adventerous enough to try.)
I would lead her by hand at least a few steps to a open space on the floor, and dance with her for a while. We can talk & learn tidbits about each other & get a sense of the general vibe of how we work together.
If she dances well, & follows your touching (her escalation), I might lead her again off dance floor, so we can talk so more, more in depth.
I have found monitoring is to keep the level of your showing interest to match hers, after she sees you doing this… let it sink in with a pause (not too long at a club) and bounce her back with a Hook touch her some more (to gauge her reaction) and reward her compliance to you with affection. Your affection should be gradually escalating the levels of her response.
[private]I had been teaching this level for some time. I don’t specify exactly how long too much because it reminds me how ancient I may be. Regardless, I have loved to have been there when guys make amazing breakthroughs within themselves and with women they are attracted to.
One of the parts I have been doing for myself the whole time but only semi-recently figured out how to teach was the generating momentum, and maintaining the momentum of a girl to be pursuit of a guy. I have done it for so long for a few reasons. A part of me is lazy to a point and very much likes when the girl is the one putting in the work to pursue me.
This can work against me sometimes. Since all girls are different inside, how they think, what they expect, what they respond to is a very wide scope. Most girls have responded very well to the things I do, yet you still see a range to how much each one will and what exactly they will do to be chasing.[/private]
Being very comfortable talking about the subject with all it’s details in a casual way takes the awkwardness out of the dynamic. You can stay aloof and detached from anyone else’s awkwardness about sex since it is a beneficial part of life and really, it is no big deal. That is what media censorship has done to it, not you.
First off, I want to say…THE FUCKING STRIPPERS HERE ARE FUCKING AMAZING!!! I just went to (and it was voted) the BEST strip club in AMERICA!!! It was called, “Spearmint Rhino”. If you ever, and I mean, EVER go to Vegas, fucking go there. They grind the shit out of your dick as you smack that fine ass. Now, my story:
Before I came in, I gave my [private]cousin and my friend $100 bucks each to spend on me while I game it at the club. Seige taught me that for the club, you do [private] not tip the girl you like. The reason behind it is that you don’t want to be in “working mode” because you’d be nothing more than a mere client trying to taste the forbidden fruit. I taught my friend and cousin a little bit about the stripper game, so they can have a better understanding of what I am doing. I figure, if you go out with you non-lair friends, inform them a little about what you’re going to do, so they won’t fuck it up for you accidentally.
Inside the club, we sat by a corner and this blond Bulgarian stripper approaches me. She sits by my side and get’s close. She explains the Vegas rules of the strip club which is soo much lenient than Boston will ever be. This stripper and I were talking about thrill rides and how it can relate to sex. My friend then decides to let me have the Vegas treatment and bought me 30 minutes in the VIP room. In the VIP room, we got really intimate. One of the rules of the club was that there was no kissing on the lips. I looked at her deep into her eyes and said, “I bet you want to kiss me right now…” She then replies, “I can’t…my boss might be looking.” I look at her in the eyes as she was dancing and said, “Listen, place your hair around my head and it will act like a shield. No one can see you do it.” So she did and we made out some. Then she sits on my lap and says to me, “You are hypnotizing me?” I smiled, “Why? Is it working?”
gmorrocco has been telling me to slow down my patter down a ton, so it can sound more seductive. I really slowed it down for her and been prolonging each syllable, and now I am beginning to see results.
Every time that her boss would walk past, she would start to make out with me again. It truly was grand. She then says, “How long are you staying here?” I replied, “I’m only here till Saturday. Listen, I got my own suite at the new casino, Aria. I do not know what Vegas is REALLY like, maybe you can help show me.” She then said that she would love to. Then I asked her, “If only there was a way I can keep in touch with you.” Then she told me that she would give me her number after the VIP room, because she isn’t allowed to give it out. Then we began talking about psychedelic drugs. We made out again and she began to grind the shit out of my dick. After she was done, she gave me her number and went back into work mode.
Another stripper came by and we began talking. My cousin offered to buy me a dance. I said, “I’m not sure how this chick is. She may be Brazilian, but can she dance?” The Brazilian stripper slaps me on the arm and says, “Trust me, baby, I am one of the best”, I replied, “Then show me what you got, and I’ll make the judgement.” This girl here was extremely good! She really put her heart and soul dancing for me. After the song was done, she asked me if I wanted another. I looked at my cousin and he offered another one. But I said, “This dance was ok-good, but do you REALLY think that she can do better?” She then says, “Fine, I’ll give you good” And for some reason or another, the 2nd time around was fucking spectacular! If you ever seen the movie called, “Showgirls”, she was dancing like that main character in the pool scene. It was fabulous!
Then a former playboy model comes up and starts to talk to us. She had wonderful tits, but ugly lips. It looked like she fell on a hot iron. She gave us a lap dance and just chilled with us the entire night there. My cousin was very smooth keeping her there the entire time. I was observing and all he basically did was look into her eyes, listen, and then repeat back what she was saying. I began doing that with other strippers that came my way. It was working like a charm.
The last stripper my friend got me had was dressed in a school girl outfit. It was pretty hot. I told her that if she wanted to earn that A, she had to do something for me. Cue funky music. This girl really dry humped the shit out of me. She really rode my dick to the heavens and back down again. I began to neg her about how she is not earning that A, which made her work even harder. She put her bra over my head and spent most of the dance on my dick and rubbing her titties all over my face as I roughly motorboated the shit out of them twins! This was by far the best dance I’ve ever had. After the dance, she asked me how I did. I said, “A solid…C” So she dried humped me, then asked me again. I then said, “B-. If you want to earn that A, you really got to try even harder!” So she dry humped me until I creamed. She smiles at me and says, “There you go, professor” and parted ways. After that night, my balls were hurting with all those strippers grinding on my dick.
Then we hit up the Bellagio and won some money.
This is my last day here in Vegas, so I am to go out and make the best of it.
hold eye contact with every girl, longer than her – every time.
When you see a woman that you find attractive and she looks back at you DO NOT LOOK AWAY. Hold that eye contact. That you’re bold and [private]you’re proud about the fact that you were checking her out.. She is a woman, there for you to enjoy, to look at, to talk to, to eventually touch.
For example, when you are walking by stores in a mall, you are looking directly at every woman that crosses your path. Walk into every store, look directly into her eyes of every single woman that you encounter and do not look away until after she does.
To raise your bets, as soon as she has been holding eye contact with you for a whole second, let your smile fade in with second number two. If she smiles back, start taking steps towards her, she has just invited you to come over and say hi.
Once I meet them, my eye contact says: “I am interested in learning more about you, but I am not over powered by your presence in any way. I am soaking it in.” I look directly at them in the conversation and only glance away a few times as I am speaking to remember details of what I am talking about. They have my attention for the moment. As the conversation progresses, I break the eye contact, looking away, talking to other people..allowing myself to be distracted then coming back to look directly at them. This shows I am not needy in any way (and not a psycho).
When it comes to a first date, I don’t look at them very much. I act like they are my best friend. I joke around, I have fun, I make observations of goofy things around us. We are now on a team mentality, looking at the world around us from a shared perspective. Nothing is too serious and this keeps the question in her mind “Does he like me?”
[/private]
[private][private]Uoffhanded affection can come from picking the lint from her clothes, taking the eyelash from her cheek, taking the lint from her chin.
Make no big deal out of this, get it done & keep moving along, keep talking like it’s nothing.[/private]
“You won’t believe what I have in store for you!” I told her.
So once again I see the reason it’s great to maintain some contact with a girl I’ve met that I liked but didn’t go [private]very far at first. It was approx 2 years ago or so I went to a Halloween party with a chick friend of mine who also did improv at the Improv Asylum when I did.
At the party, I was introduced to a bunch of cool new people and even traded numbers with some to stay connected. I was dressed as a woman that year, so the chicks seemed to love teasing me in ways that guys tease chicks or objectify them in a playful way.
There was even more than one occasion through the night where I found it necessary to say “Hey! I am more than just a piece of meat for you to enjoy. I have deep feelings and you have to respect me for those.” Totally joking in the moment, of course, and some chicks would take it even further, continuing the thread in a way I liked. When girls grabbed my stuffed boobs I would grab their real ones in response. They just laughed.
They would have playful comments to say I was just a piece of meat or their toy for the night (which I didn’t mind at all). One girl, let’s say Anna, was acting pretty frisky and even was trying to exert some playful dominance on me. To re-remind her of the man inside the costume, I simply picked her up, her back over one of my arms, her legs draped across the other, the way a parent would carry an infant or a groom would carry his bride across the threshold of the motel room. Somebody snapped a photo of this.
Days later, several of us found & friended each other on facebook and she saw this photo so she tagged herself. We commented here & there on each other posts every once in a while, nothing too constant just little hellos.
It wasn’t until a week or two ago I posted a comment “My dance moves are ok, but show me a stripper pole & I really come alive.”
It was my joke. People could take it how they wanted but I wrote it as two unrelated concepts. I could dance ok, but if I was watching a stripper pole with a stripper on it, I would come ‘alive’, so to speak.
She simply commented “Dude, me too!” to which I went to her FB page and wrote: “I hear a dance-off starting to form. You have no idea what sort of competition you’re up against.”
She commented to my post, saying: “Stiff, no doubt.”
Thank you very much Ms. Anna, for starting the sexual undertoned comments. This is my favorite place to be, inspiring these type of comments in girls with my subtlety, then continuing the ping-pong effect.
Soon after, I then had a post on my own page from a magazine article I recently read that said that Boston had the 3rd highest IQ average in the nation. She went & asked what the first two were. They were Raleigh NC and something else, but I saw her question as a set up for a cocky joke on my part.
“What were the first two?” She asked.
“Brighton and Brighton again, both first and second place.” I replied, since Brighton is my neighborhood I wanted to subtly indicate in a joke that I was responsible for the high IQ here.
She went on to agree, then said “Coincidence? I think not…I mean assuming Allston is part of Brighton…”
With: “Coincidence? I think not…” I could see she got my joke. Once she said: “assuming Allston is a part of Brighton…” I saw that she got my joke, and if she was living in Allston, then she was installing herself into the joke, playing along at my level. I read enough interest in this to take it to the next tiny step up. I sent her a private message.
“I had no idea that we’re practically neighbors. If you weren’t such a mischief maker, I’d think we should do coffee or split appetizers & catch up n’stuff…”
In this, I acknowledged her ‘ping’ of letting me know she lived near me with my ‘pong’ of the “neighbors” in the message to let her know I got the idea. I then was suggesting we should hang out soon with a disqualifier of: “If you weren’t such a mischief maker…”
I already could read into our ping-pong comments that she wanted to hang out. By expressing a small reason why we should not, she instantly tries to overcome it. This generates a tiny bit more attraction with a sleight indication (‘we want more what we cannot have’) and is a good place to begin the momentum of a girl in pursuit of a guy, not the other way around.
So the next ‘ping’ reply she gave me was: “Precisely why we should. Mischief loves company. Or something like that…” Which is great. Rather than me asking her if she wants to hang out, I tell her a tiny silly reason why we should not, and she is the first one to actually say that we should hang out. She could guess that mischief was something I like in a girl, so she is guessing at a way to qualify herself to me, and agreeing with the sexual undertones it carries.
Now that she is the one suggesting we hang out, I can play some more with her. I tell her this: “Ok. Maybe that makes sense if we warn the other neighbors first, just in case. Do you text?”
I still indicate the “Maybe” letting her know she hasn’t won my total approval of the idea yet, keeping her working. “Warning the neighbors” was to continue the mischief theme but in the subtext. I saw I had her number from a time back that I never followed up on, I I wanted to keep her invested in this thread’s momentum so I just asked if she texts.
“Of course. Doesn’t everyone? I have no use for the phone other than texting & email & cool games & stuff.” And signed with a nickname I didn’t previously know of hers and her number. By telling me the nickname, she indicated to me a bit more rapport, so from that time on, I called her that to continue it.
I then shot her a text with my phone. “Although I don’t know what I’m getting into with you. Here is my #. ~C.J.”
Then began the texting banter. She must have been in rhyming mood, because she mentioned something about our names rhyming. That rhyme made me think of an improv game I working to be played at the improv group I regularly am a part of. I told her of it, that is was a scene with a bartender whose customer had a problem that he came in and sang about. The bartender would sing his advice, and they both had to rhyme with each other. So I told her to come to improv.
Then she asks me if they serve drinks at the venue the improv is at. I tell her they don’t but we usually go to Unos for drinks and snacks.
She shows up and participates in the improv some, which is good since I bet she thought it was just a show. When it came time to go to Unos she came right along.
At Unos, I directed her to the corner seat in the booth, then I sat next to her (not across table from her) so I could be in close touching distance. When we were talking it was easy to put my hand on her leg for a moment when I was making a point, or to be touching her regularly throughout the conversation. It was easy to be bouncing from conversation with her, which I kept at a closer face to face distance, to the conversations going around the table with my other friends. Since I saw her look to my lips a few times when we were talking so close, I just leaned in & kissed her to which she kissed back and giggled a little.
We traded stories, I told her of my lifecoaching/dreamcatching gig and she tells me that she had an unfulfilled dream.
“What is it?” I ask
“I want to strip.”
I had to tell her my joke that is true: “When I was a kid, my dad was a firefighter so I always wanted a firefighter pole in may house. Since I have grown up, I settled for a stripper pole to be at my house.
After that the easy kisses just came every so often, so I asked her if she drove that night. She told me that she does drive, but took the T since to avoid the parking. I then told her I would have hit her up for a lift home if she had her car. She started telling me of taking the T back together since both of our areas are on the same color line. Then she cut herself off and suggested we split a cab since we live relatively close with each other. I agreed and conversations of other topics came in and out.
When I stepped out to smoke a butt, an adjustment to the dynamic came to me. Different friends that were there had given me a ride home before. When I got back inside I said to Anna “Sometimes my friend gives me a lift back to my place, I wonder if it would be cheaper for you to take a cab back from my place.”
Her first reply was “Couldn’t he just give me a ride back to my place too?”
I had already though of the possibility of her thinking this so I told her. “It is much easier for me to ask for a ride for you & me back to my place than also be asking for a ride for you, a person they just met first time tonight to a whole other place…taking more time.” It was unspoken, but there is a sleight indication that by asking for this extra favor might have less of a change of being favorably granted.
Girls are great at thinking of all the possibilities in a social situation. If she was to put all the possibilities on the table then it would compare. She may like me to be splitting a cab with her, spending a little more time together. I thought of that, but it wouldn’t be as smooth to get her back to my place in those circumstances. If she denied the suggestion, I may just tell her to take the T back and I will get a ride from my friend. Of course I don’t know for sure, but I bet she considered that last possibility. She agreed that a cab back from my place would make the most sense.
Most of the ride, while she was in the back I spent most of the time during the ride, talking to my friend, making small points to her. So during the ride back, as we passed a road that a turn would lead to her place, she mentioned it this way: “Left” quietly in a playful tone. Although I didn’t know exactly where she lived, I guessed what she was getting at.
“No problem, you can take a cab back from my place.” Thankfully, my buddy didn’t interject by saying he could take her to her house. He might have not even known what she was talking about when she said “Left,” since he does know how to get to my place and thought that’s where we were going.
She said nothing else, so the conversation continued and we arrived at my apartment. I was sort of offering that my buddy comes in too, but thankfully he beat me to the punch. He said he had to run, that he had an early morning tomorrow.
So Anna and I went up to my apartment. She came in very confidently, opposed to how I do notice when girls are sometime a bit hesitant for a few when they are in a guys place their first time. They come in for the tour, settle to the environment as I offer them a drink and get them settled in a comfortable area.
She went on to be playing with my cat. I told her that I thought it was awesome that she got along so well with the cat and the cat liked her. She seemed to spend an extra minute or two playing with the cat after I said that.
She previously told me she had an unfulfilled dream of stripping some day. She had a very tight body, exercised regularly and I could see she had a palm sized ass, still beautiful hip curves. Of course I had to show her the stripper pole I have installed at my place. It has always gotten a playful reception form girls who come over for dinner parties and for other reasons.
She loved it. She started showing off her moves to which I sat back and enjoyed the show. After a few minutes, when she had done a good multi-move sexy routine, she was closer to where I was sitting with her ass in my direction. I simply put a hand on each side of her hips, pulled her down to be sitting next to me, and let the makeout begin.
Things escalated for a while, she kissed her way down my stomach to give me some head, which was actually very good. Since I did want to fuck her, I stopped her at doing this, guided her to be on her back and did some ravishing all over her body to get her more aroused.
I ran my hands and kissed, all over her body. As I was kissing her belly, my hands were up on her boobs. With a quick maneuver with my hand, I unhooked her bra (I would recommend practice on these to be very smooth). I did this while kissing, usually when done quickly and smoothly, girls hardly notice it is coming off (which they like things to be that smooth) until they feel their nipples are being played with.
We play-wrestled around on the futon, making out & playing different ways. Then in a smooth, unbutton and slide down, her pants came off. While kissing her below, she had moans of pleasure but still was gently and playfully resisting and laughing.
She was enjoying what she was feeling, yet didn’t want to surrender to me yet I could tell. I could feel that in her, and wasn’t bothered so I kept repositioning us in different ways through our wrestling, both of us laughing.
Probably to avoid the slut-label girls often think they need to avoid during a first night encounter like this. She pulled her pants back up. Once I first detected this, I took the control. Taking the waistband of her pants, I pulled them all the way up, rezipped and rebuttoned them while saying “Whoa missy, as much as I am attracted to you, we are going way too fast.”
By seizing her hesitation to be my hesitation, I now had more of the control of it. When I resparked sexy-time further, it is more as if her sexy moves had me to reconsider my choice of slowing things down, in a subtle way. Even when she was on top of me and things got hotter and heavier in both of us, she went to stand up for a moment. That is fine, she can let those feelings of me touching her to soak in & her feeling her arousal without me touching her for a moment, building desire in her.
Rather than try to keep things in a state of continuation, I laid my head back and mostly closed my eyes. I was just enjoying her for the moment, we were making out and escalating so now that it paused, I just sat back and enjoyed what was previously going on. Instead of glaring at her in anticipation for more escalation, I was just comfortable. Sure I had my eyes closed but one squinted every so often so I could see what she was doing. That way she didn’t feel like she had my full attention, eagerly awaiting her next move. If things were to end for the night at that point, I was fine. I could see her watching me expectantly, then she picked up a huge carnival stuffed dog of the floor & in a silly way she first pressed it to my chest where I was reclined a bit.
As I opened my eyes and looked at her she let herself down to be on top of me with the stuffed dog between us. (Weird barrier) Then the kissing began again with me pulling out the stuffed animal and we play-wrestled again, letting things escalate further. Then I was the one stopping things, mentioning that I had to get up early tomorrow so we should call her a cab.
She agreed, so I looked up cab companies online & selected one to call. Since she was sitting next to me, while I was waiting for someone to answer, I put my hand on Anna’s back and guided her down to be giving me head again. I heard the taxi guy answer but was a little distracted so I disconnected. She was pretty passionate and enthusiastically going down on me, it was late so I let her finish me to orgasm. I kissed her & told her she did awesome. She told me she had to work the next morning so I picked up the phone to call the cab again, this time giving the guy the addresses.[/private]
it is good to show you have an easy going attitude about sex, even sexual topics. It is good to relate this early in an interaction with a new girl. This takes and pressure off of her to be a ‘good girl’ around you.
I find an easy way to work sexual [private]topics into regular conversation is to ask “What is the craziest place that you have ever had sex?” This will partly give the girl the freedom to be discussing sexual topics with you. It is best for you to have a story to tell her back or if she is a little shy at first you can follow the question with a partial story.
“Where is the craziest place you ever had sex? I had one girlfriend who wanted to do it on an airplane bathroom. The setup of the plane was weird so she put a blanket on her lap as I fingered her to the magical ‘O’ while we were flying.” or something like that. The sooner you get to topics like this it will show you are a sexual guy and have her considering you as a possibility to be more than a nice guy to talk to for a while.
You can even segue from sexual topics with “While you (women) can have nine kinds of different orgasms, Us guys are stuck with only 2 different kinds. I don’t think the orgasm distribution was as fair as it should have been.
This will show her you are pretty sexually intelligent and indicates that she would have a variety of adventurous sexual experience with you if she plays her cards right.
Those are good points but the key is to show that discussing sexual topics is just like talking about the weather. When you show your sexual comfort, she will allow herself to be more sexually confident around you.
(Another nice subtly sexual affection you can do on a date, is to take her hand so her arm is across the table or something. Then while you are still talking you can lightly brush your fingertips, with the pressure of a feather, across her inner arm an wrist. A woman’s wrist is so saturated with nerve endings, she will feel sensations down to her toes. This will also show a teasing, sensual touch that you have that she can imagine more of in the bedroom.)[/private]
[private]I think guys want makeouts in clubs for a couple of reasons. It looks cool and now you are the one the other guys are jealous of. Girls like in club for the same reasons.
The second part is that a guy all of sudden thinks their is a better chance of him getting laid tonight…but taking this certainty away from the girl is what make her want it more, want to find out if it might be true.
I think girls value a makout in a club with a guy she is already with more. She feels like the jealousy of the other girls in the club and that she knows her guy is showing of his sexy girl.[/private]
Then closing ratio skyrockets when you get their [private] eyes locked on you before you even approach in the first place.
Girls are attracted and drawn to the alpha look with strong body language.
They can see high self confidence, high self esteem and social status.
They can easily see the leader of a group who is a challenge. This challenge creates intrigue. Be an experienced playa, intelligent and passionate with a lack of insecurity.
You can go through all of your ways, never seeking approval. That can be detected when you have high standards and credibility. [/private]
“I remember a time when u made me cum, missionary! I couldnt beleive it! Owww! It was something about the way we moved, the shape of ur #! Good times….. Xo”
It has nothing to do with the shape of anything. It was the fact that when a man treats a woman’s body like a finely tuned instrument, magic can happen.
See the posts under category ‘sexy-time’ if you want some tips of how to do this.
you can be saying “I am confident, I am in control and I am the selector.”
You can just be the one to[private] turn away first, walk away to give her some space and let what she has received as your vibe to sink in.
Squint a little bit.
If you see her pull back, you can pull back further. If you see any of her body language indicating that she is ready to walk away, pivot your body and point one of your feet away as if you are about to walk away. Many times, you will see this draw her in closer to keep you around. The subtle signals that come through body language are huge signals that reveal a strong inner belief and strong self confidence.
You can indicate subtle gestures that express power and dominance. You can offhandedly touch the small of her back and this makes her feel protected by you in a subtle way. Cupping her face does this and stroking her hair and head will do the same. [/private]
is a great playful joke to throw in anytime what she says or does can be interpreted with a sexual undertone. Keep it going, it’s a fun momentum.
Those same type of lead in statements that got the [private] “That’s what she said” line can go a bit more mature, making more people laugh at them. They key to humor is the tension, then release, so If you put a little tension on them for ‘objectifying’ you, the most common reaction is a little playful laughter.
…and of course, she later asks herself in her thoughts “I must really want him or I wouldn’t have said such a thing…”[/private]
but having one foot pointing away makes it feel like less pressure to her and more casual to you both. A great way to open so she feels no ‘at-first’ pressure is to have [private] your body pointing away; at least your feet are pointing a different direction than where she is. Just turn your head towards her as you speak, your face pointing to her. It is very comfortable that way. This way also seems very spontaneous which women do love spontaneity. When you do sit down next to girls to say hi, you can take away this pressure by saying: “I need to go in a minute, but I wanted to…” (say hi, ask you a question, tell you about something, ect.)
When you do just have your head held in their direction, it is easy to get some interesting conversation going, and resume whatever you had your attention on before. This is a great way to do a little takeaway. This allows her to soak you in a bit; get a feel of your vibe, then start to want more of your attention. [/private]
I turn to her and ask: “Do you know if they sell Playboy here? I only read it for the excellent journalism.” I tell her with my playful smirk.
she can tell I am less than half serious, but not afraid to ask this hott girl a question like that. She started laughing and telling me she was not an avid reader of such publications.
Of course I went on to jokingly describe the wonderful content-rich articles inside, in such an over-exaggerated way. The conversation went off…
So I know we just met last night, [private]but don’t get too excited. I need to get to KNOW you first. Geez! But if we get along, then I’ll let you can take me out for dinner and buy me roses and chocolates. ;p
It is so cool to know you are a counselor. In my prior position as an ESL teach I loved helping people learn what they wanted. So, I deeply admire how passionate you are about helping people on such an intimate level. I’m sure it gets stressful. So, I do have some good news. I know the most fun and awesome way for you to relieve stress! [/private]
First, since you have previously made a good connection for you to disconnect from, this gives her the space, the need to pursue you. When you disconnect properly, [private]you become a commodity that she wants to have more of. When you are the one man who is not groveling for her attentions, you already are standing out from the rest.
This is not harshly pushing her away forever. You are just creating a distance between the 2 of you that looks to her as a distance she can bridge. This sort of distance causes you to become interesting to her.
If you give her a truth disconnect or even bust her on bad behavior she is likely to explain herself or even apologize. Stay observant to the truths around you and those truths about her. Doing this without much opinion added to it is something people realistically look at and adjust their behaviors for a more favorable truth to be revealed about themselves.
If you want to have chemistry with a woman, you both have room to move in; room to move towards each other. If you don’t give her room to move towards you, you won’t have chemistry and that will have you rarely getting success. If you go and fulfill all of a woman’s desires, she has nowhere to go but away.
I see many guys who aren’t giving the girl room to move towards them. If you are always moving towards her she has no room to move towards you. Disconnection gives her room, and a desire for you that is unfulfilled and draws her in your direction. These show difference between you and her and cause her to work for your approval.
Disconnection shows you are a strong, bold interesting man. Disconnection creates controversy which is interesting on every level. Controversy is inherently interesting.
[/private]
“Listen< i am for the thoery to ‘Make awkward sexual advances not war’ so if you play your cards right…” andd then I change the subject letting her curiosity grow.
Foreplay starts way before even intimate caresses, but take your time and enjoy the wave. Although you may be thinking the main event is the prize to chase, you can have incredibly long lasting waves of pleasure throughout the process. This ensures that both you and she are mentally, emotionally, and physically ready for some good [private] lovemaking all on the same page of a moment.
Don’t make sexy-time an ‘all-of-a-sudden’ event. Start with sexy offhanded comments and affection, and then bring it up tiny notches as time goes by. Be easy to stop at various times too, you can always bring it back to level later, this will build the tease which she will love.
Good foreplay starts hours or even days in advance. This will create a sexual tension so high, when you finally have your time together, she will finally come to orgasm so much easier. Once a much closer intimacy has been reached, oral sex is a great way to bring a girl to her orgasm. In fact, many women claim that this is the only way they can reach an orgasm.
When you go down on her, don’t be in a rush. Kiss your way down her belly, as you get closer slow it down a bit. Enjoy her inner thighs and the low area on her belly. Kiss and lick the outer edges of her lower lips. Inhale her scent, it can be like a drug to you and she will feel the air rushing by her hot places.
Enjoy the journey as much as the destination. As such, go slow at first. Lick gently and tenderly for a while, you will notice her arousal increasing. She will be getting much wetter and you will see the petals of her vagina start to unfold. These will come out to you, all filled with blood and very red. Just when you see and know she is really turned on and aching for you to go further, then move in to her sweet spot, her clitoris. This is saturated with pleasurable nerve endings, and this too needs much pre-game before the best stimulus can happen.
Start by drawing small circles around it. Then try some figure 8 patterns with your tongue. Then take some advice from a past comic and use the tip of your tongue to trace the pattern of every letter in the alphabet. Even between letters it is good to give her clitoris a break and kiss her inner thighs again. This time lets the sensations you have just brought her to soak in and for your teasing away to have her want you there more.
In addition to your fancy tongue and lip action, start using your fingers. You can use your fingers to give her some feelings of entry. You can enter with your fingers in a ‘come here’ curve to make circles around her G-spot. This is located on the vaginal wall on the forward side, towards her belly.
Now you can alternate between kissing and teasing with your tongue and using your fingers so that with resting, this can go on longer. Hear her groans during different types of touches you are doing to her. Her verbal expressions of pleasure will be telling you which ways feel best to her.
While you are kissing and teasing with your kisses, you can also use your other hand to spread her lips apart so that you have full access to her clitoris. Also a hand applying some pressure to her lower back, just above her ass, that place is full of the nerve endings that good pressure will activate more wetness of her and sensitize her vagina.
Remember those free hands to stimulate her other zones. A hand on her nipple and another in her mouth can give her feelings, of waves of pleasure coming from all different directions through her body.
Don’t forget to stay attuned to her moaning and breathing changes, Continue the actions that brought those differences on. Also remember the actions in your mind that caused those changes. With those in mind you can stop what you are doing, let her settle some and then tease her more. This way she escalates in arousal, then with you coming right back to it, she will go higher. This will lead to a much larger orgasm for her.
Not in a club. This will have her visually scanning the room over your shoulder. Do not lose eye contact. Keep the eye contact. You can be having a good conversation at a kissing [private] distance. At a kissing distance. Very close it can keep the uninterrupted eye contact. You can triangulate your gaze on her while she is talking. While you are talking, keep increasing the length & frequency of your pauses. Look at her lips in the pauses shows her lips are distracting you a bit. This will significantly raise the sexual tension.[/private]
When you are giving gifts or tensions are actually anything really, give small tastes of each.
You can just be giving enough of a sample to let her know how good something is, and then stopped for a bit so the goodness can soak in, she can enjoy it, and then she can long for it a little.
If you decide to touch on a new way, whether it’s a casual affection for intimate caress, just doing it long enough to let her know how good it is and for it to soak in. Now she can have a chance to enjoy the whole sensation and to feel the whole sensation so can while it fades she will feel the lack of it too
We seem to notice more, and tensions can be fully focused about things that are new to us, that have novelty. At first we will focus more on new mysterious things to try and understand them and figure them out.
These are not like things that we think we already know, take a previous conclusions and quickly move on. This is another reason to keep lethal secrets and just tease her with hints.
Another way to begin the momentum of her curiosity is to pick something about her. Then say [private] “You know what they say about women who….****.” (Whatever I can see about her). But I don’t tell her, I just look at her in a knowing way.[/private]
There is no need to take anything too seriously when you are[private] out. Keep looking around the room. Make fun of things that you spot around you. As soon as she joins you in this you are in a team mentality, looking at the world from a shared perspective.
over the phone, you can indicate you’d like to see her without any pressure involved. [private]
“Hey it was great talking to ya. I’ll tell you what, I’m real busy. I’ve got a lot going on but I’d love to see if we could get together, get a cup of coffee. Maybe you could catch my attention. Coffee is great too because if you are boring or psycho I can escape politely.”
By saying this indicates you are a busy guy with a lot going on in your life. Although you are busy, you’d like to take a short block of time to see what she is like, to see if you’d like to have her in your life regularly. The ‘boring or psycho’ joke is thrown in to show that you think of similar things that women do when they go on first dates, capturing the frame and owning it for yourself. [/private]
[private]I’ll escalate. I may slap her on the ass and tell her to get away if she’s being bratty (of course, with a big smile on my face and NOT emotionally reactive.)[/private]
Not having a guy orgasm (yet) during a sexual encounter does leave a heavy open loop in a girl. All the girl talk I grew up with hearing & still hear from chick-friends, tells me a huge satisfaction to a girls sexual experience is when the guy orgasms. They feel a major part is missing. Girls grow up yearning to please people, especially the guy they are with.
By continuously holding off my own orgasm, I usually use this loop in a single night to keep her coming back to me wanting more over and over again – allowing me to bring her to higher and higher orgasms with each attempt she has to try & make me come.
This creates a reward pattern of her coming to me sexually, wanting me regularly. Also with having the opportunity to bring her to major heights in climax that she may have never had before or definitely isn’t used to, that will stay on her mind and have her back for more repeatedly.
Learning through practice (yes it does take practice to not give in, but it is SO worth it), the discipline to hold yourself off from orgasm can be incredibly valuable.
A huge part of being able to make that happen, like other sexual magic, all starts in a girls mind & emotions before anything else….and carrying everything else along its way.
One thing I found that works with any girl to increase the volume of their magical moment, and also maintains the momentum of getting her to be chasing you, even sexually, starts with that discipline I just mentioned.
I like to tease a girl until she is begging to have me inside of her. Like many parts of her in pursuit of the guy, it is both satisfying for the girl & the guy. I love to hear a girl begging for my cock to be inside of her and to hear her begging for more all along the way.
Previously, I have written posts about a slow teasing pattern that works in oral sex on a girl, so this one is about intercourse teasing.
To lay out the groundwork, I can start explaining from the point when you both are naked. Let’s say she is naked and lying on her back, she is ready to take you inside of her. You are naked and perched above her.
Use this moment to your advantage, do not put your cock in yet. Take the tip of it and rub all around her vaginal lips, down one side then up the other. Tracing circles and patterns around her clitoris with the tip makes her feel all sorts of different feelings.
Maybe you go to making out a little bit along with this, then brush across those vaginal lips from side to side with just the tip of your cock.
I do this, I ask: “Does that feel good?” She always says ‘yes’
At this point I still will not enter her at all; I am now playing all around her vagina just with the tip of my cock. This is getting her very aroused, wet and super turned on with desire for more. From everything she knows about sex from past experiences, this is the time that she knows she would normally have a cock inside of her already, but it hasn’t happened yet. She wants it more because of this.
As I said, most of the magic a girl will feel starts in her mind and her emotions, so I playfully talk to her this whole time. I tell her that she feels good to me, that she is so wet, that she feels hot (the touching my tip can feel); I feel the heat of her pussy.
Since I know what main thought is on her mind, I capture that and tell her “I want to feel inside you so bad.” She will be thinking: (Me too, Now do it already!!)
Sometimes a girl will say right away “Then put it in!” or “Me too.”, something on that same idea. I still do not penetrate her yet. Even though she just said that to me, I will still ask her “Do you want me to?”
She’ll say yes & I say “Then say ‘please’.” This whole time I am still tickling her pussy with the tip of my cock. Sometimes she will try to get it easy and just say “Please” but that still isn’t enough.
“No Hun, tell me to put my cock in you please” as I am still tickling and teasing her with the tip of my cock. Up and down both sides of her vaginal lips, across them back and forth and the tip even between her lips, feeling her wetness but not inserted at all. I keep doing this while kissing her neck sometimes until she says what I asked her to say.
Once she says what I asked her to say: “C.J. Please put your cock in me.” I will put about ½ of an inch in. This 1/2 inch is going in and out, sometimes rubbing up and down her lips but only this ½ inch, rubbing her wetness all over the sides of her lips too.
“Ok, but just a little bit.” I tell her. (“A game called ‘just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels.” ~WC) She will feel this wetness on more area of her vagina; the coolness of the air where she is wet will let her feel her wetness more, turning her on even more. I will do this for a little while since the longer you can do this the more desire for a cock to be in her will totally increase.
Every minute you are teasing is cranking up her desire enormously.
After a few minutes of this I will ask her “Does that feel good?” Which she will tell me: “Yes.” I confirm her ‘yes’ by telling her “So good” which she very much likes to hear. Then I will ask her “Do you want me to be inside of you more…deeper?”
If she just says: “Yes” I will tell her again: “Then ask me.”
If she just asks without the please, once again I will tell her to say the whole sentence, adding ‘please’ to it. She usually will be letting herself ask in moans of pleasure: “Go deeper, please.”
Once she complies with my request to ask a certain way, I will comply with her request to go a little deeper. Still this time I will enter her more but only a whole inch of my cock will enter her. The in and out motion, but of only the first inch of the cock, that’s it. I will put in an inch for a bit, take it completely out so it rubs her front lips a lot, this is affecting her clitoris, then back in her.
“That’s all for now.” I will go back to rubbing up and down the lips, only putting my cock an inch in, then taking it back out.
Rubbing up and down her lips and across, side to side, is making vibrations that will be tickling her clitoris while indicating the possibility of the whole cock in her which she wants so much more at this point. The longer this is done, the more this will increase her desire, AND increasing her climax when she finally gets it.
With this being said to her, and the holding back, spoken and physical teasing is what engages her mind and emotions to be on the same wavelength as her body, increasing what her body feels. Every time you pull completely out, and hold outside of her for a moment or two, she is feeling the sensations she just felt with a cock in her as pleasure but now those feelings are fading.
She likes those feelings & she wants more. Not only is this significantly turning the volume way up on her desire, it is revealing a man with great discipline which she will be very attractive to her. She has had plenty of experience with men who want her and want sex with her and want to be fully inserted and pounding away. Many guys want to jackhammer her, spoo on her belly and pass out.
From her experience with men who want to get her to bed and get right down to business right away, by doing this has you sticking out in her mind already. Then when the sexy-time is over, even days later she will be daydreaming, recalling the encounter, wanting more. I have had girls tell me this idea in different ways on numerous occasions. (I still have ex’s message me sexy thoughts and tell me of ‘last nights dream’ every so often)
So for each step, I ask her if she wants more, I get her in the habit of asking me with ‘please’. As her desire grows she will start asking the whole request on her own just because I showed her what she needs to do to get more but I still hold off for a while with only 1 & ½ inches in her. She just learned what will get her more of what she wants right now; her desire is up so high she will start emphatically begging.
Each time you can hold off. As she is asking for more on her own, you can hold off longer & she will ask over and over, it will get her sexually begging. This is a place both the guy and the girl are happier and getting more fulfillment. She is getting positive results from her actions you directed her to which is a reward. It showed her that her behavior is rewarding her. By seeing that: when she does what you want, she gets what she wants, she remembers this.
As you slowly progress going deeper in ½ inch increments, you will see her moving her body in ways to get you deeper. She may even wrap her lags around your hips to pull you in. The more you can hold off, even resisting these moves with your strength; she will try harder and try different ways, till the sex becomes a play wrestling game.
I will continuously remind her: “Not yet honey” if she tries to pull me in without asking. She is asking in a voice of desperation, wanting cock in her, and making moves to get more. This is a fantastic momentum to be in and maintained as long as you can. The longer you can hold each step to be, before advancing to the next one will be building up her desire like steam under pressure.
The longer you hold off, the larger her orgasm will be too. By small increments of more, continued in that way for as long as possible builds this pressure up. Each step is a mere 1/2 more held at that level as log as possible… slowly giving her what she is wanting. Her desire increases with each step.
Once you do get to that place where you are all the way inside of her, pelvis to pelvis, I would not just start the in-and-out, jackhammer routine. By staying inside her all the way, if you can tilt your pelvis in a rocking motion over hers (tilting forward & back), you will be stimulating her clitoris with a whole cock inside of her. Also when your pelvis pivots down, it aims your cock up to her G-spot, very nice. This doesn’t normally happen from regular sex.
If every guy she has ever been with has given her only the jackhammer routine (which most do, so I hear), sure it feels good for her to a point, but not as much as with feelings like this. This is 3 different forms of stimulation at the same time for her. As women can have 9 different types of orgasms to our 2, by combining a few of their types will make a larger orgasm (clitoral, depth & g-spot sensations simultaneously).
To keep variety of sensations for her, even in the rocking, I will take my cock completely out of her. I then will pause for a moment or two while I am kissing her to let the feelings she just had in her pussy sink in and her desire to rise again. Sometimes coming completely out of her, then back in. This will alternate the feelings of cock deep inside of her with touching cock to the lips that will jiggle her clitoris a bit (I have heard grapevine talk from friends of girls I hooked up with that mentioned this ‘completely out’ part has magic on its own), then do a pivot to stimulate her G-spot.
Alternating these sensations for her will give her an orgasm on a wider, larger level. When the cock is out and playing with her lips I will use it like a finger, making circles around her clitoris.
Then other times I take the cock completely out of her to pause, then I just play with her lips with the tip of my cock as I did before. Again this is going to be tickling her clitoris, and teasing her to want your cock inside of her even more since she just had those feelings and wants them again.
Although other things can be done with a girlfriend that is more comfortable on the trust level and all of that, I have found this to bring a girl to orgasm almost every time, even with a first night encounter (SNL) with a girl.
There has been more than one girl who has told me that she only can come when she gets oral or girls that have said they only come when they are on top. In both of these types of situations, I have brought them to orgasm in a way they didn’t know was possible for them – missionary position with me on top. Although it may not be my favorite position for sex, I do know there is something very fulfilling for her in another sense, in addition to stimulation, from face to face intercourse with her on the bottom.
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to show and express his sexuality, his masculinity in its true form.
By building up her excitement and passion with you while keeping your obtained-ability to be slightly out of her reach…for her to not know for sure, this is key. Keeping you slightly out of her reach to fully capture, keeps her attraction switches to be fully on.
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People always want more what they cannot have, but what they want most is what they almost can have, but not quite yet. When it is just barely out of their reach, they see what reward they will get if they work just a little bit harder. While she is thinking she can almost have you, this keeps her in full pursuit.
If you are too easy to get, she is going to lose interest and chase a different prize. If you are too hard to catch, her efforts are going to show her no results so then she would chase somebody who she thinks she can catch.
By keeping her in that ‘almost’ state keeps her chasing and each time you give her a tiny bit more of you, she feels a big reward from that. Like dangling a piece of string for a cat, almost within reach so it plays. Every so often it catches a piece of the string with a claw but it is pulled away so it wants it more, it beefs up its strategy. It keeps playing, it keeps chasing.
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…momentum while at a nightclub was that I asked her if she likes old landmarks. “You know those that have been there forever and you feel like you’re in an old Scorcese movie?” She tell me: “Yes” and I say: “Me too.”
Since I was casually watching our drinks, [private]
we finished them at the exact same time. Then I showed her in my expression that a phenomenal idea just popped in my head: “Have you heard of the Enormous Room?…That is exactly the type of place we were discussing, let’s go check it out. It’s right around the corner. Aw, what the hell. If we don’t like it, we can come right back, I’ll leave my tab open.”
All I did was to suggest something that I pre-qualified as an interest we shared. Ten minutes later we were splitting a combo appetizer plate, sitting on the bench-couches in the enormous room.
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Not having a guy orgasm during a sexual encounter does leave a heavy open loop in a girl. Usually I use this loop in a single night to keep her coming back to me wanting more, allowing me to bring her to higher and higher orgasms with each attempt she has.
This creates a reward pattern of her coming at me sexually. Also with having the opportunity to bring her to major heights in climax that she may have never had before or definitely isn’t used to, that will stay on her mind and have her back for more repeatedly. [private]
Learning through practice, the discipline to hold yourself off from orgasm can be incredibly valuable. Although I hear a lot of buzz about ‘getting a girl to have a squirting orgasm’ recently, not every girl will let that happen in her body. I read a paper bound book about squirting years ago and have seen that it can be amazingly satisfying for a girl. The only sticking point, is that a girl has to be totally willing and wanting for it to happen. A huge part of being able to make that happen, like other sexual magic, all starts in a girls mind & emotions before anything else….and carrying everything along its way.
One thing I found that works with any girl to increase the volume of their magical moment, and also maintains the momentum of her to be in pursuit of the guy, starts with that discipline I just mentioned. I like to tease a girl until she is begging to have me inside of her. Like many parts of her in pursuit of the guy, it is both satisfying for the girl & the guy. I love to hear a girl begging for my cock to be inside of her.
I have written posts about a slow teasing pattern that works in oral sex on a girl, so this is about intercourse teasing. To lay out the groundwork, I can start explaining from the point when you both are naked. Let’s say she is naked and lying on her back, she is ready to take you inside of her. You are naked and perched in a way above her.
I do not put my cock in yet. I take the tip of it and rub all around her vaginal lips, down one side then up the other. Maybe her I go to making out a little bit again, then brush across those lips from side to side with just the tip of my cock. “Does that feel good?” I may ask. At this point I will not enter her at all, I am now playing all around her vagina just with the tip. This is getting her very aroused, wet and super turned on in desire. From everything she knows about sex, this is the time she knows she should have a cock inside of her, but it hasn’t happened yet. She wants it.
As I said, most of the magic a girl will feel starts in her mind and her emotions so I playfully talk to her this whole time. I tell her she feels good, that she is so wet, that she feels hot, I feel the heat of her pussy. Since I know what a main thought is on her mind, I capture that and tell her “I want to feel inside you so bad.”
Sometimes a girl will say right away “Then put it in!” or something. I do not. Even though she just said that I will still ask her “Do you want me to?” She’ll say yes & I say “Then say please.” This whole time I am still tickling her pussy with the tip of my cock. Sometimes she will try to get it easy and just say “Please” but that still isn’t enough.
“No hun, tell me to put my cock in you please” as I am still tickling and teasing her with the tip of my cock. Up and down both sides of her vaginal lips, across them back and forth and the tip even between her lips, feeling her wetness but not inserted at all. I keep doing this while kissing her neck sometimes until she says what I asked her to say.
Once she says that I put about ½ of an inch in, still rubbing up and down her lips but inserting this ½ inch and pulling out, rubbing her wetness all over the sides of her lips too. “Ok, but just a little bit.” (a game called ‘just the tip, just for a second, to see how it feels.) She will feel this wetness; the coolness of the air where she is wet will let her feel her wetness, turning her on even more. I will do this for a little while since the longer you can do this the more desire for a cock in her will totally increase.
After a few minutes of this I will ask her “Does that feel good?” Which she will tell me “Yes.”
I confirm what she said by telling her “So good” which she very much like to hear. Then I will ask her “Do you want me in you more?”
When she says “Yes” I will instruct her again: “Then ask me.”
If she just asks without the please, once again I will tell her to say the whole sentence, adding ‘please’ to it. Once she complies with my request to ask a certain way, I will comply with her request. Still this time I will enter her more but only a whole inch of my cock will enter her. I will put in an inch, take it completely out so it rubs her front lips a lot, this is affecting her clitoris. “That’s all for now.” I will go back to rubbing up and down the lips, then only putting my cock an inch in. Rubbing up and down her lips and across, side to side, is making vibrations that will be tickling her clitoris while indicating the possibility of the whole cock in her which she wants so much more at this point. The longer this is done, the more this will increase her desire, and increasing her climax when she finally gets it.
With the things said, and the holding back, this teasing is what engages her mind and emotions to be on the same wavelength as her body, increasing what her body feels. Every time you pull completely out, and hold outside of her for a moment, she is feeling the sensations she just felt with a cock in her but now those feelings are fading. She likes those feelings, she wants more. Not only is this significantly turning the volume way up on her desire, it is showing a man with great discipline which she will be very attractive to her.
From her experience with men who want to get her to bed and get right down to business right away, doing this has you sticking out in her mind already. Then when the sexy-time is over, even days later she will be daydreaming, recalling the encounter, wanting more.
So for each step, I ask her if she wants more, I get her in the habit of asking me with please. As her desire grows she will start asking just because you showed her what gets her more, then held off for a while with only 1 & ½ inches in her. She knows what will get her more; her desire is up so high she will start emotionally begging. Each time you can hold off. As she is asking for more on her own, you can hold off longer & she will ask over and over, it will get her sexually begging. This is a place both the guy and the girl are happier and getting more fulfillment.
As you progress in ½ inch increments, you will see her moving her body in ways to get you deeper. She may even wrap her lags around your hips to pull you in. The more you can hold off, even resisting these moves with your strength; she will try harder and try different ways, till the sex becomes a play wrestling game. I will continuously remind her: “Not yet honey” if she tries to pull me in without asking. She is asking you in a voice of desperation, wanting your cock in her, and making moves to get more. This is fantastic momentum to be in and maintain as long as possible. The longer you can hold each step to be, before advancing to the next one will be building up a steam like pressure. The longer you hold off, the larger her orgasm will be.
Once you do get to that place where you are all the way inside of her, pelvis to pelvis, I would not just take up the in-and-out, jackhammer routine. If you can tilt your pelvis in a rocking motion over hers, you will be stimulating her clitoris with a whole cock inside of her. This doesn’t normally happen. If every guy she has ever been with has given her the jackhammer routine, sure it feels good to a point, but not as in depth with feelings as this.
To keep variety in the rocking, I will take my cock completely out of her. I then will pause for a moment to let the feelings she just had sink in and her desire to rise again. Sometimes coming completely out of her, then back in will alternate the deep feelings of cock with the lips that will jiggle her clitoris a bit. Alternating these sensations for her will give her an orgasm on a wider, larger level.
Then other times, taking the cock completely out of her, pausing, then just play with her lips with the tip of your cock as you did before. Again this is going to be tickling her clitoris, and teasing her to want your cock inside of her even more since she just had those feelings and wants them again.
Although other things can be done with a girlfriend that is more comfortable on the trust level and all of that, I have found this to work almost every time, even with a first night with a girl. There has been more than one girl who has told me that she only can come when she gets oral & girls have said they only come when they are on top. In both of these types of situations, I have brought them to orgasm in a way they didn’t know was possible, missionary position with me on top. Although it may not be my favorite position for sex, I do know there is something very fulfilling for her on another sense from face to face intercourse with her on the bottom.[/private]
Another great part of ‘socializing with the club’ or opening many groups was using the jealousy factor a step further with girls. My buddies used to love when I did this next part because it seemed as if someone was always getting laid the nights I did this.
Back when I lived in a place where it was easier to be bringing a bunch of people back to my place, late at night, and not be bothering any neighbors, this was great. As the night at the club was getting closer to when the club would close. I would ask a group of girls (that I been touching base with all night) what they were doing after the clubs closed. Usually they have no plans except maybe an all-night diner.Read more »
When she sees that [private] a guy’s life is exciting, she works to feel special to him or that she has earned his attention. Women value what they work for much more than what their looks have made available to them. If she has taken steps to gain her rewards, then she is rewarded for what she does, not her luck in the gene pool.[/private]
[private] if you want her to be attracted to you, you better put your efforts into: ”Bringing her into your world.”
You can either completely makeover your personality in order to impress her (which will do the opposite), or you can turn the tables and make her do the work (which is very pleasing for a woman to feel the core of attraction/rapport to be based on thhe actions she takes over the look that she was born with).
When you put yourself in control of the situation, you are the one who has the power to reject her, because she believes you can have any girl you desire. If you use this concept & convince yourself of it, you can calm your nerves and loosen up a bit, which will make women actually fight to get your attention.
[private]One of the aspects that I see frequently happen during times of LMR is when I take a girl’s pants off. Maybe a moment or two later she slides them back up. I’ve learned a finesse that I would recommend practicing until your good. That is easily and smoothly taking girls clothes off so that they hardly notice while you are making out. They like it that way. They would rather have a guy who can smoothly take their bra off that they didn’t even notice because your hands were smooth and you are in the middle of making-out.
There are times when you can see she is ready for your kiss. In those times, it is great to get as close as possible but still not kiss her. Attention will build incredibly and her desire for you to go through the roof.
[private]Pretend that this new girl you are talking to is interested in YOU, has been pursuing YOU relentlessly, and that you’re resisting her. By making jokes about it to say things like, “I just don’t think things are going to work out between us” kind of jumps the steps of you guys getting together, metaphorically in subtext. By leading on this frame of expectation, it is as if you expected the two of you to get together, yet something has you question whether it would last.
When they are laughing at your jokes & sticking around & vibing really well, it is time to escalate the amount of off-handed affection to [private]her.
The amount you touch her needs to increase. This is easy since you are very European in the way you touch throughout your conversations, now its time for there to be a sexual undertone to your touches in the teasing, appropriate way.
“Do you feel like you want to keep the conversation moving — or do you feel [private] like you want to get a little more physical? Do you want to feel good tomorrow? When you’re thinking about tomorrow and letting go completely — and being totally dominated — only in the way that you feel real fucking good with it — don’t you? Now, nod your head and say yes.”[/private]
One of the most effective systems of reward is that of [private] intermittent reward. When we only can get the desired bonus sometimes, we end up thinking about it very much of the time.
This comes up with learning and memory as well. For some reason we tend to learn the patterns that bring us the results we wanted, only sometimes or most of the time.
We tend to learn them better, trying to tweak the approaches that haven’t worked into ones that have. We seem to study these and over analyze them in order to perfect. Having this said we end up trying the actions that provide us intermittent rewards more than any other format.
In order for a person to desire rewards from you on a higher level than others, this ‘erratic’ reward system will work best.
Figure out times to give her things, write her cute notes and give her silly surprises unexpectedly. Also I see a beneficial to be doing the things in reward for the extra nice behaviors she brings to you, the extra actions, and sweet things she does.
This is a very clear and honest way to indicate to her what it is that she does that you like very much. It works as a beneficial process for you both. She will understand what you like, and be happy to provide it knowing that you reveal very clearly what you do like. You will be getting those behaviors more repetitively which you will like even more.
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“I don’t know where you stand yet, but sometimes I do kiss my hott friends for cash.”
[private]Why I frequently suggest trying things that may seem extreme or taboo to be doing in the field.
He breaks it down like this:
“Go extreme with your actions; because if you don’t go to the extreme, you will never know where the limits begins and ends.”
Previously he thought that talking sexual topics with new girls is taboo.
To show him raw examples with seeing how girls react I modeled some of this in field with him nearby to see real life example.
On example was with a new girl, just met a minute or two ago. We were all talking and she put her hand on my scarf telling me she wanted to wear it.
If I was interested in her and on my own time, normally I might tease her a little bit then have her wearing it. (See locking in with prop)
Instead, I teased her by saying “Ok maybe. Let’s see how good you can lapdance first.”
After seeing how she took it playfully and nothing else, DSM has gone on to bring sexual topics in very early in conversations with new girls & has them grabbing him to make out in a club all the time.
“As with those whose praise us, we do not always like people who do favors for us; specifically, we do not people who do favors seem as though they may have some strings attached to them. Such strings constitute a threat to the freedom of the receiver. People do not like to receive gifts if the gift is expected in return; moreover, people do not like to receive favors from individuals were in a position to benefit from their favor.” (Aronson)
There was an interesting study done[private] by John Brehm & Ann Cole with a bunch of university students. While each subject was waiting for the experiment to begin, another person who was actually a stooge in the experiment had asked permission to leave the room. Of the times he just came back to the room and took a seat. In the other half, he returned with us know which he gave to the student sitting next to him. After all of this, each subject was asked to help the stooge perform a very dull task. The part that goes against most people’s guess, is that it was the students who had not been given the drink by the stooge who were more likely to help him than those who had been given the drink.
The truth of the matter is, when a guy is doing all these favorable things for a woman he is interested in, he is actually lowering his chances for any reciprocation. The reason this happens is that when a person receives a gift for example they justify this in their mind with a cause. They will start out thinking they got a gift because there was something uniquely nice about them that caused them to receive it. By reciprocating afterwards they have to take away their first conclusion which actually increased their self-esteem a bit. People subconsciously even, do not wan to do that.
The other side of this coin is where the bounty is “getting someone to do you a favor is a more certain way of using favors to increase your attractiveness” There is a self-justification process that goes on with actions people take both positive and negative. When a person does a favor for another person, they justify this action by convincing themselves that the recipient of favor is an attractive, likable, deserving person. And if, they will say to themselves, “why in the world would I go to all this effort (or spend all this money, or whatever) for this person? Because this person is a wonderful person, that’s why!”
In the 1800s, Leo Tolstoy said “We do not love people so much for the good they have done us, as for the good we have done them.”
Wait till you hear the ‘Foot in the Door’ technique.
Do you like rollercosters? I was watching the most interesting program the other day on the Discovery Channel, they were talking about rides, attractions at amusement parks. They were asking what makes the ideal attraction. He said there are three elements to a fantastic attraction. First there’s that feeling of anticipation, you know that first long, vertical climb up the track? You can feel the anticipation growing. You feel your heart beating faster and the excitement building. You feel the blood rushing to your muscles. Your breathing starts to come faster and faster. You feel it building and then you feel that rush of excitement going down. He said the next element is safety. You have to feel so safe with this ride because you know nothing bad is going to happen. You can feel even safer to feel those exciting feelings growing. Finally he said, the ride has to be fascinating. There have to be so many different twists and turns. So much is unpredictable that as soon as you get off you want to climb right back on again. You want to take this ride multiple times. I said this to a friend and she said ‘Its like the perfect attraction you find in a guy’
…what we think we cannot have, or almost can have.
You can use this, as you will see in posts throughout the site that keep a girl wanting you, chasing you to have little tastes [private]of what you have to offer.
Don’t indicate that you are a sure thing, you haven’t learned enough about her to know if you want her as regular part of your world. Don’t indicate to her that she has NO chance, she’ll go and find someone who she feels she can have some success with.
Keep her understanding that she may have caught your attention, yet hasn’t shown you enough to fully hold your attention yet. [private]
that will keep her on her toes. “If I didn’t have to split now, I’d stay around & make out with you but I gotta go.”
Usually gets a funny weird enough reaction. I have seen more than once a girl will keep talking but of other topics.. very detached from this to keep me hanging around a bit. Once I see this happening, I know I am in a sweet spot.
guys have been chasing them in one way or another. Guys grow up thinking that they must buy a woman gifts, take her out to dinner and earn her approval. Girls have had it easy their whole life, so once they meet an interesting guy who is actually a challenge for them to have, their desire and attraction for him quickly escalates.
While creating sexual tension,[private] you are taking the role of the pursued person. You show her sparks of interest an attention but never completely. You still do not know if she is cool enough to add to your social circle even, not to mention getting intimate with her. While she never really knows for sure if you are into her or not (getting mixed messages from you) keeps her in the chasing mode to find out for sure. When she feels a sleight interest from you, she wants it to be certain. Many guys who express certain interest in a girl right away will lose her attention quickly; she will look around to find a more challenging guy.
Consistently giving her these mixed signals causes this tension to build in her to the point where she can only see a release of it is to get physical with you. Then she will have her uncertainty answered. The conflicting feelings in her that built this tension are the indication that you might be interested, you might be attracted to her, but she is not sure.
When you first meet a woman, you can have great results on creating and building this tension while you playfully watch her chase you in a variety of ways.
Body language is a powerful force in all of this. You can give her your undivided attention with your eye contact, keep your gestures to be welcoming to her and the suddenly let you attention be grabbed by something else. In the middle of a high point you can cut a sentence off halfway through, and go check on your friends or open a another girl who is nearby. While she is talking, you can triangulate your gaze on her, then quickly find something else to do.
You can give her most of your friendly/shining personality. Reward some of her jokes with your laughter. Reward some of her flirts with a flirt back and then take them away. Tease her like a little sister, but just enough playful so she wants more of this fun razzing, she wants more.
It can be very ‘in your favor’ to be doing things opposite of common courtesy, which would have her be able to say she doesn’t like you. Much of what I teach about in capturing her frame is that of understanding where a girl is usually coming from I a situation and act like it is you going through those same things with her (Example.) She sees that you have an understanding of how she thinks & what she goes through, yet playing the part of you to be the one going through those things.
A confident man has no fear or hesitation to show and express his sexuality in its truest form. By building up her excitement and passion with you while keeping your obtain-ability to be slightly out of her reach to capture, keeps her attraction switches to be fully on. People want more what they cannot have, yet the want MOST what they can almost have.
While she is thinking she can almost have you keeps her in full pursuit. If you are to easy to get, she will lose interest and chase a different prize. If you are too hard, and her efforts show her no results, then she will chase somebody she thinks she can catch. By keeping her in that almost state keeps her chasing, and each time you give her a tiny bit more of you, she feels a big reward from that. Like dangling a piece of string for a cat, it is almost within reach so it plays. Every so often it catches a piece of the yarn with a claw but then it is pulled away again so it keeps playing, keeps chasing.[/private]
…then everybody who sees this is going to want to meet him too…he must be cool, & they want to feel included.
Goal: Girls are to smile… a smile as in “Mmm, nice to meet this guy, I could meet him”
INJECT that [private] fun like its going out of business. I’m not talking go and dance around like some sort of flaming ponce. No. Go up, casual… Say “What’s up… you guys look fun… blah.. blah – well, I’m off to see my friends… later”
The key is CASUAL. You want NOTHING from them in return. You arenot LOOKING for anything… You’re just putting yourself out there. Then go to next group.[/private]
…thank you very much.” I have said to a distracted girl more than once
There is great value in creating and maintaining curiosity in the girl about you. This is part of starting, building and maintaining the momentum of her chasing you, in pursuit of you. Fact of the matter is, [private] that both the girl and the guy are truly happier this way. A girl has been pursued her whole life, since she hit puberty. Guys have been pursuing women since puberty too.
So I went out and met up with my NY buddy. He’s great to hang with, great conversationalist, and he lets me push him in or pull him into sets.
Just to increase the number of sets I open, I tried to do the: ‘Give $200 to your buddy who pays you $20 each time you open.’ This was great because it took ‘my pre-judgement of sets’ out of the equation. I didn’t care (as much) what the girl looked like, I was just running routine to get my 20 bucks.!
(I thought it was weird at first, but Dave would come up to me mid set and say: “Here’s that $20 I owe ya.” so I could just intro him in.)
Well that is the mindset. I would have my goal as I entered as $20, but of course I would stay in good sets, eject from the not-so, and make a few regular chick-friends in the process.
One of the last stops we made was where the Christian Science building is. Behind it there is a circle of water shooters all pointed to the center. As Dave and I walked up, I scanned the people sitting around it on the surrounding wall.
As we came in and looked at it, talked about the kids running through it, I turned to a blonde (who is behind me, since that is why I chose to stop walking here) sitting in the the sun and asked “Almost ready to run through?” I asked her. She laughed and said ”no way,”
“Okay good” as I start to empty my pockets into my backpack. “We need you to watch this stuff as we run through.” meaning Dave and myself. There was another brunette sitting about 10 feet away on the other side of the blonde. They don’t know each other, just two separate girls as far as I know, so far.
As the blond and I were talking and I see the brunette behind blonde, looking at me as I was speaking to the blonde, so I start to smile to the brunette every so often while I’m talking.
Then me and Dave run through the fountains, horse around with some of the kids playing, then make it back to the wall and somewhat dry off.
I have a new Iron Maiden shirt in my back pack so I can change out of my button down to put on a dry shirt. I re-open the conversation with the blond to take a picture of Dave and me. Then to show her how to use the camera I take a picture of her and Dave. Then she takes our picture and I get an idea:
I open the brunette by asking her to take a picture of Dave, me, and Blonde. I almost looked for another set to merge, but this felt good so far.
The brunette went back to her place by herself. While us 3 are chatting… just random comments between Dave, Blonde and myself.
At one point I ask the brunette if she’s ready to run through. When she says no I just swat my hand in her direction as if she’s no fun. “Forget you then..” I say in smiles to her but turn to Dave and the blond who are just chilling at this point to resume with them. At this point Dave is laying back and blonde is in her iPod.
While I sat down & looked next to me at blond and saw her pull the iPod earphone out of her ear as if I was talking and she couldn’t hear. I wasn’t saying anything yet but just took the cue and started rambling about the fountain.
In learning that she was a pharmacist and had a long day of training from her pharmacy, it was cool and all but I wasn’t hooked yet. I did see brunette looking over every once in a while, so the first little attention fade blonde gave me, I rolled off, stood up walked a few steps to the brunette and opened her.
Now this 2nd girl was great. First I saw how eager she was to my open after rolling out of the other set. Turns out although she was a little less stereotype good looking as the blond could be pegged for, this brunette really caught my attention, was more interesting and we had some good commonalities.
I told her how “I was going to stop last second and let Dave run it by himself, but as I got closer …it actually looks like a lot of fun”
We small talked until I heard. I gave her a ‘what should he do’ story. She was giving answers of: “I don’t know that could be tricky…”
I started to turn away a little bit, then turned back as I thought of something: “You know I would’ve agreed with you but one point my buddy brought up was how people expect opportunity to land in their lap, but a lot of times it lands just near by (as I am signaling towards the other side of the blond where I was sitting) and you just have to notice it to seize it.” as I motion to myself.
She nodded yes then asked me “What do you do?” I gave her some jokes, then told her being a (my name) is a full time job. I told her of moving here and some places where I’ve lived. She lived in a different part of the cape as I did, but we agreed on factors of it. She then jumped from there telling me what she does. I think she was excited to share it, who wouldn’t be…
“What?!, Your a Dolphin trainer?? I can’t hang out with you, I do Improv and you’ll always be trying to upstage me with your fish.” I started to get up as If I was really leaving because of this. Not stand but turn my body and put my feet like I was, while straightening up.
“From Falmouth to Boston, eh?” I laughed.
“What part of the cape did you live in,”She asked. Love it! She reinvests herself with something to get me talking. I start to tell her then cut myself off. “I wasn’t sure at first, but you seem like you have a cool energy, MIGHT make a good friend….” I just look perplexed at her like I’m trying to size her up right now and as if she is supposed to reply.
She shifts a bit in her seat. “Its a shame Dave and I have to go, my swing dance class starts soon…” I pause an look as if I am thinking something over. ..
“Alright (in agreeing tone) do you have a cell phone?” Its next to her, she shows me. I take it from her to punch in my number, “I’ll give you my number, since my phone is all the way over there.”I point to my backpack.she takes it back to put it on: ‘new contact.’ .
“Yeah, but I won’t call you.” at least she’s honest. “Ok then lets do this,” (as if it was any different that what I was already going to do.)
“I’ll call your number through, and tell my voicemail what your like so far.” So I do call it through and describe her in the most teasing way with what I knew about her. “Here is *****’s number. Adventurous enough to swim with dolphins, but too ‘scaredy-cat’ to run through the sprinkler, figure that out.”
As I get up I tell her I’ll call her tomorrow since my weekend gets crazy. “Maybe you can come along, or we’ll grab lunch next week.”
Funny thing was. As I walked to get my bag where Dave was sitting (he still hadn’t plowed on with blondie, she was a bit too reserved conversationally) and it was the first time I saw how it was okay to number close two girls in sight of each other. ”You seem like you’d be kinda cool if we picked this up on day you haven’t had 8 hours of training. You better give me your number if you want to pick this up another day…”
“Yeah it was long.” She tells me, so I take out my cell.
“What is it?” and she gave me her number.
Look. I don’t know if either of them are going to be my type of girl, I don’t know them well enough, but I probably wont call the blonde. She was boring, and I only asked # to see what she would say. I was curious to how strong that jealousy thing inside of girls does work. I’m sure it works different with different girls.
These were two 1 sets we merged, and Dave wasn’t playing.
Blonde didn’t make it to want to call her again, & we’ll see how dolphin chick makes it in the next round.
” 
